Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroshitsuji. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I ACCIDENTALLY HIT THE 'K' BUTTON INSTEAD OF THE 'J'?! ...sorry, random... ^^;

Thanks to for reviews. Thanks to for favorites.

vvv

BOOOOOOOOOM!

Ciel sighed, not even bothering to look up from whatever important thing he was reading, "Sebastian go see what those lunatics are up to." The preteen ordered dully.

The demon butler bowed, "Yes, young master." Sebastian said before walking off to find a certain blonde haired cook so he could throttle the idiot, all while smiling politely of course.

vvv

"Honest, it wasn't me!" Bardroy shouted, rubbing the back of his head. Considering the pristine condition of the kitchen, Sebastian was forced to believe him. The demon butler's red eyes fell on the explosives not-so-well hidden behind Bard's back. Even if the explosion hadn't been Bard's doing, that didn't mean he wasn't about to try something. Sebastian silently raised a questioning eyebrow at the cook, who shuffled nervously, still scratching the back of his scalp.

Finny chose at that moment to come charging in through the kitchen door, his gardening clothes singed, small coils of smoke curling off him. "WHAAAAAA! MISTER SEBASTIAN HELP! THE GARDEN IS ON FIRE!" Sebastian sighed and pressed his gloved fingers to his forehead, why must he always be the one the three idiots came to?

"Now what did you do?" The demon asked Finny calmly.

The strawberry blonde gardener shook his head vigorously, "It wasn't me, Sebastian! It was the new girl!" Sebastian suppressed a sigh, he was beginning to think that maybe this witch was more problematic than he had predicted.

vvv

"And just what were you trying to do?" Ciel asked later, after Sebastian had trekked out to the gardens and drag me, coughing and hacking from the smoke, back to Ciel's office.

I stood there in my soot covered dress, not even bothering to cover my cough, "Cooking up a spell. What else?" I rasped.

Ciel's single blue eye narrowed, "Are you actually as incompetent as those three idiots?" He grumbled more to himself.

"Since I don't know who you're talking about, I can't really tell you. But no, I'm not incompetent. If anyone is, it's you." I said dismissively, shrugging.

Just as I predicted the little earl stiffened in outrage, "And how am I incompetent?" He asked in a barely suppressed growl.

I laughed as I made myself comfortable in the closest chair, "'Incompetent' if a funny word, no? If you say it often enough it sounds strange, just like 'crab'. Don't you think, darling Ciel?" I said in my overly squeaky voice of 'Aunty Roxxy.'

"Stop acting like a lunatic!" Ciel snapped.

"Then stop reacting when I do. I love you're little temper tantrums, little earl. They're so amusing."

Ciel looked like he wanted to say more, but I beat him to it, inspecting my nails just to show my disdain for him, "If you must know, the reason why you are incompetent is your herb stores. It's no wonder why that potion backfired the way it did. How old was that monkshood you had?"

Ciel actually looked confused, "...Monkshood?" He asked cautiously.

I stared at him for a minute, "Oh... that old huh? Well I guess I'll need more ingredients then. You'll be a dear and provide them right? Otherwise I am no use to you." I added with a grin.

Ciel glared, not liking it one bit, but he had no choice. If he wanted my help he was going to have to cough over some dough for ingredients for my potions and spells, since my money miraculously disappeared when I was being put on trail as a witch. I hoped those little buggers were enjoying my cursed money, may the boils forever disfigure their lousy faces!

"Just what were you making anyway?" Ciel asked in a tone that said he really didn't want to know.

I grinned, for real this time, "Summoning my familiar. A witch isn't a witch unless they have their familiar with them."

"And what happened to your old one?" Ciel questioned like he was an impatient parent questioning a child why they had lost their toy.

"Don't you know anything? The familiar is always beheaded right in front of the witch then is thrown on the fire. Some superstitious idiot thought up of the legend that the witch could trade places with the familiar so she got away while her familiar burned." I scoffed, "Like that would happen, not only is it impossible, but also cruel to the poor animal."

Ciel huffed disdainfully, "Says the witch who steals bodies to continue living."

I glared at the bratty kid, "What did they ever do for me? They're just a bunch of jerks, most of whom laughed while I burned at the stake. Ajax is my oldest, and only, friend."

"Is? I thought you said they beheaded him."

I gave the kid a look that said 'how stupid can you get', "Do you really know nothing about witches? A familiar is a spirit animal. When their body dies their spirit returns to their resting place until the witch they deign to work with calls them back. Speaking of which, I need something cat shaped."

Ciel frowned at my wording, "'Cat shaped'?"

I nodded, "Yeah, it doesn't have to be a body, preferably not actually. Bodies decay faster, as does clay. Do you have a... stuffed animal or something?" I asked.

"Explain."

I snorted and rolled my eyes, "Little earl, if you want me to cooperate, don't treat me like some lowly servant. The demon might stand for it, but I don't. I've been treated like filth for too long, I'm not about to take it from you."

We remained glaring at each other for a long time. Who knows how long we would have lasted if that damned butler hadn't come waltzing in like he owned the place, announcing that tea was ready. I left the demon and his master before Ciel could invite me to have tea with him... not that I thought he would. He was the kind of brat who would intentionally make you feel puny.

^o^

So... written in half an hour at 3 in the morning... if it sucks, it because of that reason right there.

Flame Friendly!