TREMBLING ON THE EDGE OF SANITY

Chapter 7: Trying for Normalcy

Feral woke a little groggily the next morning. He was shocked to feel the tabby pressed against him and the sun just peeking through the blinds. He seemed to have recalled the SWAT Kat saying he would leave in the night, so what gives?

T-Bone groaned and rolled to his back and blinked slowly awake staring at the ceiling. It took him a moment to realize he wasn't in his room and the low rumble of annoyance told him where he was.

Turning his head, he wasn't surprised to see Feral's disgruntled face staring at him.

Yawning he said, "Good morning. How do you feel?"

Feral's expression changed to one of surprise. "I feel pretty rested...why?"

"I'm sorry to say, you did have a nightmare..."the tabby began to explain when he was interrupted.

"Oh noo..." Feral said in dismay.

T-Bone sat up quickly and touched the upset tom on the shoulder, "Hey, it's okay. It was bound to happen, I just wished you could have had a night free of terrors but that was why I stayed in the first place," the tabby quietly reminded him.

"Yes...but...," Feral couldn't complete the sentence. He was disappointed then he remembered he was supposed to write this down. Sighing in irritation, he reached into his night stand and took out the notebook the doctor had given him.

Looking at T-Bone seriously, he said, "I'm supposed to write down when it happened and how I was calmed."

"Okay, well near as I can tell it was just after midnight and I used the same method that worked at the hospital. You were thrashing around hard when you woke me so I took you by the scruff which calmed you immediately. I purred and whispered softly to you. You really weren't awake when you finally relaxed and went back to sleep. I was afraid it might happen again so I stayed." T-Bone told him quietly.

Feral grimly noted the information down and slapped the notebook closed and tossed it back in the drawer. He was angry and upset as he climbed out of the bed for the bathroom. T-Bone sighed and watched the tom's stiff form disappear.

He stayed on the bed, uncertain if he should leave now or wait to see if Feral needed to talk. Sighing, he did have a lot to do at the garage today and Razor had wanted to do a training session in the Turbokat to test some new missiles. Eyeing the bathroom a moment longer he made a decision. Getting up he went to the door, he didn't hear the shower so he knocked lightly.

The door opened and Feral looked out with irritation. He was shaving. "What!" He growled.

"I just wanted to know if you'll be okay. I've gotta scoot but I'll come back tonight if you want me too." T-Bone said easily not taking offense at Feral's prickly behavior.

He really wanted to snap at the tabby but it wasn't him he was really angry at. Sighing, he said in a milder manner, "No, I think I'll be okay. You go ahead and I want to try to sleep tonight alone."

Eyeing him in concern, T-Bone simply nodded. "Okay, but if it's really bad and you need me, use this and I'll get here quickly." He told the dark tom handing him a small signaler.

Feral looked at it with mixed feelings of anger and relief. When he looked up, T-Bone was gone. He stepped out of the bathroom and placed the device on the dresser and went back to finish shaving.

After taking a shower and dressing, he went to the kitchen and fixed himself a simple breakfast and took it out to the living room. He flicked on the TV and watched the news while he ate. When he'd finished, he went back to work on his mail letting the TV provide background noise.

It was lunchtime when he finally finished sorting, throwing, and filing all his mail. Sighing in relief, he fixed himself some lunch and began to go through the reports the Sergeant left him of past and current cases that had went on while he was gone.

He took a break from his work to stretch. He looked out the window and decided to take a walk down to the local store just to get out of his apartment for a bit.

He bought a newspaper and magazine as well as some chocolate that he was craving. The walk had done him good. He felt truly free as he strolled back to his apartment taking in the traffic, kats going about their business, and the sights and sounds of life outside the hospital.

Home again, he sat down and read the paper. His phone rang moments later. He reached out for it next to the couch.

"Feral here"

"Sir, I was checking to see if you needed anything?" Came the gruff tones of his Sergeant.

"No, thank you, I'm fine. I appreciate you checking with me. I'm just going over the reports you left me, seems Steele has made quite a mess. I'll need your help to unsnarl it on Monday." He told him.

"I'll be happy to, sir. Have a good evening and I'll see you tomorrow morning," The Sergeant said warmly as he hung up.

Feral hung the phone up and felt warm inside to know he had kats that cared about him. Then he sighed, tomorrow was going to be very busy.

He finished reading the paper and magazine before tackling the rest of the reports. It was around eight o'clock when he finally finished and placed the reports into his briefcase for tomorrow. He puttered around his apartment a bit then fixed a light dinner before taking it and sitting down to watch some TV.

He made his way to bed by ten o'clock. He took a hot shower and drank some warm milk to help him to relax so he could fall asleep easier. He felt good and was excited about work the next day. He dropped off to sleep without too much difficulty to his relief.

He slept nearly all night until dawn peeked over the horizon. During the rem cycle where dreams normally came a darkness and an evil laugh intruded into his peaceful sleep. He shuddered and tried to get away but there was nothing but darkness and silence except for his screams.

Screams rang in his ears as he jolted awake and realized he was the one making the racket. He was cold with sweat and his stomach heaved with nausea. He struggled from his bed and raced for the bathroom and threw up. Several minutes later, his throat burning and stomach hurting, he hung his head till it stopped swimming, flashes of the nightmare still trying to bring him down. Feral shook his head violently trying to dispel the remnants but they wouldn't leave. He kept seeing flashes of that dark room, the severe loneliness that ate away at him, the hunger and thirst and the endless screams.

Whimpering, he staggered toward the bedroom running into the door frame and falling back onto the floor again. Sobbing with desperation he crawled out of the bathroom and made it to the bedroom, his head throbbing with pain from hitting it and the tormenting flashes. He reached a paw to the top of his dresser and frantically searched for the signaler finally grasping it like a lifeline. He pressed it and clutched it in his paw while he rocked back and forth trying to hold on until T-Bone could get to him.

Chance was jerked awake suddenly by the loud wail from the mate to the signaler he gave Feral. Blinking and trying to focus, his mind finally caught up with the reason for the wail and scrambled out of bed and ran downstairs for the hangar.

Jake, an early riser, looked up in shock as Chance came tearing through the kitchen in his boxers and T-shirt for the hanger. He didn't move as he realized the emergency was Feral. He shook his head. 'Poor Feral, must be bad for him to call Chance.' He thought sadly.

T-Bone raced through the city on his cyclotron as fast as he dared. He made it to Feral's apartment in under ten minutes. He shot his grappling hook to the roof and rappeled quickly to Feral's floor. Once there he snuck to the right door and used his lock pick device to open it and slip in. He hurriedly made for the bedroom and found Feral huddled on the floor his back to his dresser, clutching the signaler in his paw. His face held horror and anguish.

T-Bone dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around the shaking tom. Sobbing in relief at the scent of his savior, Feral hugged back desperately.

"It's okay...shhh...easy...take deep breaths and concentrate on me...that's it ...just relax," the tabby murmured soothingly as he rubbed Feral's back comfortingly. He could feel the tom gradually relax and slow his breathing.

Feral had been nearly mad with despair by the time, T-Bone arrived. When he felt the familiar arms encircling his body and the gruff voice soothing him the flashes finally let go. He sobbed with relief and hugged tightly. Now that he could breathe easier, he began to be angry again. 'It wasn't fair! Why did this have to keep happening?' He growled to himself, infuriated at failing to manage on his own yet again.

T-Bone could feel Feral stiffen angrily. He slowly released the tom but stayed close. "Hey, I know you're upset but it will take time. I know you don't want to hear that but it still doesn't change the truth." He said gently.

"I know!" Feral growled angrily. "I just...I hate this!"

"Yeah. I'd hate it too. No one wants to be helpless but you've come so far, don't let it beat you." He urged carefully not wanting to push Feral too hard.

Feral let his head rest against the dresser and stared up at the ceiling. "It had been a really good night and I slept well until this morning. Gods!" He broke off not wanting to go there again.

"I'm sorry that happened!" T-Bone said sincerely. He got up and made for the bedside table he had seen Feral put his journal in. Finding it, he brought it back to the Commander. "Here, you better put it down before you forget. Though I know you'd really rather forget it!" He said dryly.

Feral snorted then sighed and took the journal and quickly jotted down the pertinent info without thinking too hard about it then slapped it close and handed it back to T-Bone who put it away again without comment. Coming back he offered a paw to help the tom to his feet.

Feral didn't refuse it as he still felt shaky. As he rose to his feet he swayed suddenly and his vision blurred a moment, his head pounding. T-Bone quickly supported him while he regained his wits only then did he notice the knot on Feral's forehead.

"How did you get that?" He questioned as he gently touched the swelling, making Feral wince.

"I ran into the door frame of the bathroom in my panic." Feral said ruefully.

"Ouch! Do you have a headache," the tabby asked solicitously as he helped Feral to the bed to sit.

"A little, my throat burns too. I threw up."

"Oh, sorry. It was a really bad one. Well just sit there for a moment, don't try to get up." T-Bone admonished as he made for the kitchen. Searching around he found what he needed. Ten minutes later he returned to the bedroom with a steaming mug of chai and some aspirin. He handed the tea to him first, Feral drank some and sighed as it soothed his throat and stomach.

T-Bone then handed the tom the tablets which Feral downed quickly and finished the tea with a grateful sigh.

"Thank you! That helped a lot." Feral said softly.

"I thought it might. Now do you feel strong enough to stand and take a shower?" T-Bone asked watching him carefully.

"I think so." Feral muttered as he levered himself to his feet and was pleased to find he was steady again. He went to the bathroom, flushed the toilet and took a shower that did make him feel better. When he came out, T-Bone was waiting.

"Feel better?" The masked kat asked.

"Yes, thank you. I think I'll be alright. I hope anyway. I've got a lot of work to do today." Feral said as he got dressed.

"Okay, then I'll get out of your fur. Take it easy and be alert for trouble. Don't wait till it runs you over if you can. Promise me?" T-Bone said warningly as he stood to go.

"I will, I promise." Feral said quietly.

"Good! I'll see you tonight." T-Bone said in a tone that brooked no argument.

Feral just nodded. There wasn't any use arguing no matter how much he might be angry about it.

T-Bone quickly left the way he'd come. He felt emotionally tired but he knew Feral felt much worse. He truly wished there was some magical way to cure this but that was wishful thinking. This was going to take a long time. Sighing mentally to himself, he raced back home.