Pokemon Master, Sasuke
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Note: First of all, I wanna say I'm sorry for this being late. Don't kill me please! ;-; Stuff came up and it took priority. I hope you'll understand and don't leave me. I'm needy, have pity. If you're interested, full details (and way too much information) are on my Xanga page.
Chris: Mwahahahaaaaaa! Chapter 7… you know what that means, don't you? Next chapter is that mini-doozy yaoi scene! ::drools in anticipation:: Kakashi's perversion is building into new highs too… poor Naruto and Sasuke.
Kakashi: Heh, heh. It just comes naturally… like Chris's psychotic and insane tendencies! ::grin::
Chris: YEAH BABY! Mwahahahaa…ha… um yeah.
Huge thank you to Wowie for beta reading. ::glomps:: You're the best!
Another Note: This is AU. Don't bitch at me saying this and that didn't happen in the manga/anime or never would. You're in my fic now and I am the all mighty and powerful fic authoress! Bow before my evil, sick, perverted and raunchy idea of humor. ::insert insane, psychotic laugh, here::
Pairings: SasuNaru (for now; heh, heh.), probably KakaIru and whatever other pairing suddenly strikes the fancy of my sick mind. Like ItaNaru, NejiNaru and GaarNaru. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Pokemon. Suing me would be a pointless waste of time since I'm broke and have nothing anyways (although that may change soon). If I owned Naruto... well let's just say Naru-chan would be a very busy little boy who really gets around with the male population. But alas, I don't so it'll never be... unless of course Kishimoto-san becomes a rabid yaoi fanboy. I wonder what he thinks of our efforts and the fact that a lot of us make half the male population gay?
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Warning!!!
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This fic has:
- yaoi goodness - in later chapters (there's a mini-doozy in chapter 8 and after chapter 15 it gets A LOT WORSE. I can't wait!! XD)
- Mini melodrama and sap. Polka Dot will probably hate it. ;-;But I can't help myself sometimes. I'm just a drama queen at heart…
- some foul language but not nearly as bad as I usually write... yet.
- stupid humor and OOC behavior... c'mon, Sasuke thinks he's a Pokemon Trainer and Naruto's his pokemon for pity's sake! Poor widdle Naru-chan…
Chris: If you don't know what yaoi is, then this probably isn't for you. Yaoi and shounen ai deals with male x male relationships. So don't come crying to me if I pollute your virgin mind for your lack of self control.
Tigerlily: So if ya don't like that sort of thing do us all a favor and hit the bricks.
Chris: If you do flame me for it, you will be mocked incessantly by me in my fics and webpage. And don't come telling me that so and so would never do that or so and so isn't gay, blah, blah, blah. It's AU, my fic and if I want to make them hump trees, I can... although I'd prefer that they screw each other senseless instead. So, nyah! XP
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I walk over to my pack and pull my pajama's out. As I change, I idly wonder what would happen if I crawled into Naruto's bed? No. Don't go there. Bad, bad, bad, BAD Sasuke! God what would people say if they knew?!
'Oh that Sasuke used to be such a nice, pure boy. But then he fell in love with his pokemon… a BOY pokemon!'
'Oh, his mother must be spinning in her grave!'
'I blame Kakashi. Being around that pervert had to have affected him.'
'True. But what about all the pressure the poor boy is under? That'd make anyone crack.'
'Still, if he had to fall for a pokemon, why couldn't it be a girl?'
'Are you saying it's alright?!'
'Of course not! But does he even like girls? He was traveling with Sakura, but nothing ever happened between them!'
'Well, they are kinda young for THAT sort of thing. I heard she kept asking him out on dates and he always turned her down.
'Really? How could he? She's such a pretty girl.'
'He probably likes boys instead… he is awfully pretty for a boy.'
'That's true. His mother must be weeping from heaven!'
Once again, an idle mind runs amok… I heave a heavy sigh and climb into my own bed. Maybe it won't be so bad in the morning. We'll go to the baths… I'll probably get to see him… naked. Crap. Why the hell am I doing this to myself? Am I some sort of masochist? Go to sleep, Sasuke. Go to sleep.
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Chapter 7: Fun At The Bathhouse- - - - -
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xoxo – Sasuke's POV – xoxo
Knock. Knock.
"I'm coming in. If you're having kinky sex, don't stop!"
Slam.
"Aw, you two are so boring. Not even sharing the same bed… I'm so disappointed!"
"It's too early for this crap."
"So I guess you don't WANT to go to the bathhouse? Hmmm…?"
"Crap. Okay, I'll be down in 5 minutes. Naruto, are you coming?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"Yay! Then you and Sasuke can watch each other undress!"
"Would you stop already?"
Before Kakashi can even answer, Naruto roundhouse kicks him out the door and slams it shut behind him.
"Nice move, Naruto."
I smile at him and he smiles back. Unlike yesterday morning, it reaches his eyes and it makes me very happy.
"C'mon, let's hurry up before that pervert comes back to 'check-up' on us," Naruto grumbles.
"Yeah, I can just imagine it. He'll bust through the door practically shouting, 'You're taking too long! Are you making out?'"
"Or having kinky sex? Cause I wanna watch!" Naruto finishes, balefully.
"I'll never understand how anyone can be so perverted."
"God help the world if he ever reproduces."
"I don't think that'll be a problem."
"What makes you say that?" Naruto asks.
"Well for one, no woman in her right mind would let that lecher near her. And two…"
"And two…?"
"He's gay."
"No way!?"
"Yes way. Sometimes he talks in his sleep. Or thinks out loud. He has a big crush on Professor Umino."
"Iruka?!"
"Yeah… how do you know Professor Umino's name?"
"Uh… Kakashi mentioned him yesterday morning while you were sleeping."
"Oh… Well let's go. You got everything?"
"Yup!" he shouts as he pulls something out of his bag.
When we reach the lobby of the inn, Kakashi looks up and greets us in his own especially perverse way.
"Took you long enough. You were making out, weren't you!"
Neither of us answers… verbally. Naruto punches him and we walk out the door to the bathhouse. After two minutes Kakashi follows and catches up with us, tormenting us with his special brand of inane chatter.
"Mou, your Kitsunemon is so violent! Sasuke, you really need to train him. He needs to be spanked for being such a naughty boy."
"Hey!"
"There's nothing wrong with his behavior. You're a pervert. If anyone needs to be trained or spanked, it's you… but then you'd probably enjoy that."
Especially if it was Iruka doing the spanking…
"You know Sasuke, it takes one to know one."
"I am not a pervert!"
"Your lips say no, but your eyes say, 'Yes, spank me Naruto. I've been a very bad boy!'"
"What?!" I scream as I practically fall on my face in horror.
"You heard me… Sassy-chan," the pervert smirks at me.
"I do not want him to spank me!"
"So then you want him to do the other things to you?"
"I… I…"
Before I can come up with a coherent response in defense, Naruto once again punches Kakashi in the face.
"Damn pervert… C'mon, let's go," he says as he grabs my arm and pulls me to the bathhouse.
Why is Kakashi doing this?! Does he want Naruto to hate me? Does he want Naruto to think I'm a pervert? But then I am a pervert, aren't I? I want to hold him and crush his lips to mine… I want to make him mine. Yes, I'm definitely a pervert.
We pay our money and make our way to the locker room to change. Before an article of clothing is removed, Kakashi appears again. Damn it! This is getting annoying! Why won't he stay away? A moment of peace is all I want! I never thought I'd wish Sakura was still here. Then he'd be driving her crazy instead of me… or at least not as much.
"Mou, you left me behind! I was so scared when I came to and you weren't around. I thought you abandoned me!" Kakashi 'wails'.
"Well there's an idea." Naruto glares at Kakashi.
"Sigh. I know when I'm not wanted. I'll just go drown myself in the bath."
Somehow. Someway. Kakashi's clothes are gone and he has a towel wrapped around his waist. He was fully clothed just seconds ago and now… how the hell did he do that? Not that I wanted to see him undress… but… sigh. On his way out, he whispers into my ear and I turn red.
"Heh. Now's your chance to see Naruto strip and see how well he's hung! Try not to get caught staring… and remember to blink."
Argh! How does he know? He winks at me and actually skips out of the room! The bastard! I turn around and face the wall as I strip, refusing to watch Naruto. I will not watch. I will not be a pervert… of course, if Kakashi hadn't said anything I'd be happily watching now. But Nooooo! He had to go and make me all self-conscious and now I'm missing Naruto strip. God, I'm such a pervert.
"Ready?" Naruto asks as I wrap a towel around my waist.
"Yeah."
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xoxo – Naruto's POV – xoxo
God, why does Sasuke have to be so damn sexy? I told myself I'm over him and to just let it go, but… I find myself drawn to that bastard again. I keep thinking about last night and this morning as I watch him strip. Yeah, I definitely still have a thing for him. Damn it!
All too soon the show ends and he wraps a towel around his lean, muscular waist and covers that glorious ass of his. Shame I didn't get to see a frontal view… but then he would have seen me stare and then I wouldn't have gotten to see anything at all. Hmmm… Damned if you do, damned if you don't. I ask if he's ready and when he answers yes, we move to the showers.
Neither of us says a word to each other as we wash ourselves. This of course gives my brain ample opportunity to read way too deep into past events.
'He was staring at you a lot last night. He might have a thing for you too.' The evil voice in my head whispers.
Sometimes I wonder if it's Kyuubi reaching out to make my life even more hellish.
'Of course he was staring. He found out I was a stripper and got a look at sexy no jutsu! Even Gaara would stare… okay, maybe not. But he would definitely raise an eyebrow… wait, I forgot he doesn't have eyebrows,' I answer back.
'What about when you were going to kiss him? It looked like he knew what you were planning.'
'He did not. There was no way he could know or imagine. Why should he?'
'You told him you loved him. He had to know.'
'He doesn't remember any of that. If he did, he'd remember me and know that I'm not some damn pokemon.'
'That doesn't mean he doesn't remember it subconsciously. Deep down inside he knows… he remembers.'
'Kakashi did say he was having nightmares that he never remembers…'
'See? See? And he's always coming to your defense…'
'He thinks I'm his pokemon; his property. Of course he's going to defend me from that pervert. He thinks I'm some innocent little pokemon. So that proves nothing!'
'Yeah, innocent. Right. What about all that blushing he does around you?'
'He's just embarrassed. Kakashi keeps teasing us. Of course he's going to feel uncomfortable.'
'Yes, because Kakashi is right. Remember when he said Sasuke wanted you to do 'other things' to him? He didn't have a response like he has for everything else. He was caught and he knew it…'
'Still proves nothing. It left me a little flabbergasted too. I still can't believe he said that. In his position, I would too.'
'Because you love him…'
'Yes. I mean, no! If I was Sasuke, I wouldn't love me. I drive him up the wall. We argue all the time. He thinks I'm stupid and useless… I'm a boy, he's a boy… a boy who can have his pick of any girl in Konoha or the world for that matter. I see how the women in this town stare at him with their fangirl eyes. I hear them whisper how handsome and pretty he is; and how they wouldn't mind just one night with him.' Kyuubi allows me to hear that most people wouldn't. 'I'm sure it's the same in every town.'
'Alright then. What about when he said you were cute? And how he pleaded with you to stay? And how he cut himself off from everything for two months before cracking! Even Sakura said so; that it was your fault he cracked.'
'But…'
'And how he glared at her when she was mean to you? If looks could kill, she'd be 12 feet under. And he made sure to get the food you like. He hasn't argued with you, called you dobe, moron or anything. He smiles at you, and is patient. He didn't get mad when you tossed your cookies all over him. And he talks to you, instead of down to you. He's feeling something for you; you can't deny that.'
'That doesn't mean its love. He considers me a close friend and has even said so before… Besides, he's not himself right now.'
'What better way to be with you? The Shinobi, Uchiha Sasuke can't be with you because of his obligations and cold hearted bastard façade. But the Pokemon Trainer, Uchiha Sasuke can because he has no real obligation or façades to maintain.'
'See, he can't love me… not really.'
'Hmph. And you say Sasuke is delusional? Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.'
"Shut up!"
"What did you say?" Sasuke asks.
Crap! I said that out loud! How the hell do I explain that I was arguing with myself?
"Uh… sorry. I thought I heard Kakashi saying something perverted."
"Ah. He's been pretty quiet…"
"Maybe he really drowned himself."
"We can only hope. You ready?"
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xoxo – No POV – xoxo
"Yup!" Naruto smiled and grabbed his bucket that was filled with something currently unidentifiable.
"What's that?" Sasuke asked.
"Sex toys!" Kakashi shouted.
"They're not sex toys!" Naruto shouted in complete indignation.
"I knew it was too good to be true," Sasuke muttered to himself. "I thought you were going to go drown yourself?"
"Changed my mind…"
"What mind?" Naruto muttered.
"I figured someone had to keep an eye on you. Besides, I wanna be there when you finally 'do it'."
"Do what?" Sasuke asked in complete naivety.
"You know… 'IT'." Kakashi leered as he smirked rather scarily.
Kakashi then leaned down and whispered into Sasuke's ear, "So, how well hung is Naru-chan? Not that it'll matter since he'll be uke anyway…"
Poor Sasuke stood completely rigid, face aflame that would put a ripe hothouse tomato to shame. Naruto twitched, glared, punched Kakashi yet again and shouted.
"You know I can hear you, even when you whisper! Damned pervert…"
"Of course I knew. That's the whole point of my little game!"
"You… you heard that? Even earlier?"
"Yes. Everything."
Sasuke crumpled to floor and hid his face in his hands and started chanting.
"Why me? Please kill me now. Let the earth open up and swallow me whole before I die of embarrassment…"
"It's not your fault he's a pervert. C'mon…" Naruto grabbed Sasuke's arm and dragged him to the main bath.
"Naruto…"
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry."
"For what? He's the pervert, not you. You proved that by not staring at me while I was changing."
"Oh." 'If only you knew the truth,' Sasuke thought to himself.
When they got to the pool, Kakashi appeared behind them.
"You know, you punching me is really getting old. And you never answered Sasuke's question. What's in the bucket?"
Naruto stepped into the warm water, put his bucket down on the tile wall and pulled out… a cute, yellow rubber ducky and an orange, plastic sailboat.
"Bath toys?!" Kakashi asked incredulously, mouth agape. "You play with bath toys?!"
"Yes. Unlike yourself, I don't 'play with myself' in the bath! Besides, these are very precious to me."
"Precious?" Sasuke asked, slightly confused.
"They were gifts…" Naruto got a sad, far away look in his eyes, "I didn't really have friends when I was little. There were only two people who were actually nice to me, Sandaime and my academy sensei." Naruto carefully left Iruka's name out.
"Sensei? Why would a pokemon have a sensei?"
"Sasuke, ninja types aren't born knowing how to do ninja moves. They have to be taught!" Kakashi semi-lied through his teeth yet again.
"Well, what about your parents? Why didn't they teach you? Weren't they nice to you?"
If at all possible, Naruto looked sadder as he answered, "My parents died when I was born… I never really had anybody. When I met my sensei, he tried to be kind of a big brother to me. He bought these for me when he found out I didn't have any real toys. Now he gets me stuff for my birthday every year, but these were the first gifts he ever gave me and it wasn't even my birthday. So, these mean a lot to me and if you make anymore fun of me I'll do more than punch you, you pervert!"
Naruto glared for a moment before wading to the other end of the bath with his rubber ducky and sail boat. Plopping down, he began to sing…
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Chris: Sigh. Chapter 7 come and gone. I can't wait until chapter 8! XD
Sasuke: I'm torn…
Chris: About what?
Sasuke: That… scene… in the next chapter. It's fun but it was so embarrassing! ::blushes::
Naruto: ::glomps:: Kawaii!!! Sasuke-kun, you're so molestable! ::nuzzles Sasuke's neck:: Let's go someplace… private.
Sasuke: In your face Itachi! ::smirks and runs off with Naruto::
Itachi: Noooooooo!!
Naruto: Itachi, why are you screaming?
Chris: Huh? But… you just left with Sasuke.
Naruto: No I didn't. I just escaped from the janitor's closet, someone pushed me in…
Neji: Then who…?
Sasuke: ::screams like a girl:: Sakura, you bitch!! How dare you?! Ugh! I can't believe I kissed you! Now I've got girl cooties!
Itachi & Neji: ::laughing their fool heads off::
Naruto: ::sniffle:: Sasuke's cheating on me…?
Itachi: It's alright Naru-chan, I'll comfort you. I'd never do anything so heartless… ::huggles Naruto::
Chris: You massacred your family and scarred Sasuke for life… .
Itachi: I keep telling you, they started it. I was completely justified!
Chris: Uh yeah…
Neji: Get you're hands OFF of my Naruto!!
Itachi: ::smirks:: As if you could make me. Even my weak and foolish brother could kick your ass.
Neji: ::charges:: Die!!
Chris: ::grabs Neji by the collar:: Cool your jets! I need Naruto to give thanks and crap… besides Itachi is about to seriously suffer.
Neji: Really? You promise?
Chris: Yes, I promise. Naruto if you please…
Naruto: ::leaves Itachi's comforting arms:: Chris would like to thank everyone who reviewed! This time, everyone gets… ::looks at the plushie:: What the hell is this?? O.o
Chris: It's… MALIBU ITACHI!!! Just like the one I gave Kyuubi-kun! See, even his swim shorts have the same pattern as his Akatsuki cloak!
Itachi: Nooooooooo!!!!!!
Neji: ::laughs himself to death:: X.x
Naruto: Umm… what does it say? ::pushes the tummy::
Malibu Itachi: …
Naruto: I think it's broken.
Chris: No it's not. This one doesn't say anything. Instead he has a story!
Itachi: Oh god… no. ;-;
Chris: Ahem. Malibu Itachi is the arch enemy of Malibu Barbie. She tried to castrate him like she did to Malibu Ken because the only blue-eyed blonde Itachi wants is Naruto!
Itachi: Damn straight!!
Chris: Anyway! Because Malibu Itachi has yet to be captured by Malibu Barbie, he's still anatomically correct! No peeking, that's for Naru-chan to do!
Itachi: Hell, yeah!!
Chris: So Malibu Itachi works hard to overthrow the evil that is Malibu Barbie and free all the castrated action figures from her evil hold!
Naruto: Wow… that actually sounds kind of… cool!! ::glomps Itachi:: That is so sexy too!
Neji and Sasuke: Noooooooooo! ;-;
Chris: Not so fast loverboy! You still need to do the thankies and I'm not finished with Itachi yet… ::smirk::
Itachi: Crap. I don't like that look… kowaii! ;-;
Naruto: Chris would like to thank:
Kirikouchan, critt, daflippnay, Isolde1, animelvr4evr, WaterBookLover, Kyuubi-kun, tracy-kin, Little Fox Kit, aNiMePeRfEcT, K-chan xoxo, ladychimera, Polka Dot, (bt) Tara, Darksythe1, averaye, danna-chan, Ulitheal and Bakani.
Since I didn't have the time now (and not nearly as many reviews as the early chapters ;-;) I decided to bring the little personal responses back… for now at least, while I still have time and what not.
Critt: Um… okay. You did read the warnings right? So I scare you, huh? COOL!! I feel so accomplished now! ::insert super genki smile::
Kyuubi-kun: Mou, I already gave you a Malibu Itachi, remember? Although the review did get jacked up. But you got the very first one! ::genki smile:: Salon Itachi would be so cool though!! XD And Ryuugan, it's not nice to hit people with frying pans! ::hands a cattle prod to Kyuubi-kun:: Here, smite him with this. It needs batteries though. I haven't used it since I 'played' with Seto and Jou last year… they were being naughty. .
Tracy-kin: Really? You might do fanart? ::chibi eyes:: I would so love that! Sekra said she might have some for me too when she gets back in a couple of months too. ::jumps up and down:: That would be so cool, I've just got one fanart a few days ago for the very first time! Link is in my profile if you wanna see it. It's cute.And technically Neji hasn't gotten any loving… poor baby. If you do fanart, I'll let you see the next chapter early. ::wink::
Little Kit Fox: Hey! You're back! Yay!
ANiMePeRfEcT: Yes, I figured he could actually make Oiroke no jutsu useful. XD Just the idea of him stripping cracked me up something fierce when I wrote it.
K-chan xoxo: Wai! You're reviewing again! ::happy grin:: I'm sorry, but remember that patience is a virtue! Not that any of us here are virtuous. Heh, heh. Don't worry, the next chapter might come sooner… hint, hint.
ladychimera: Your reviewing again! ::glomps:: Really, you never liked SasuNaru? Well I suppose it's only fair since I've never been one for ShikaChou… even though I did write one. XD I don't know what came over me.
Polka Dot: Not necessarily. Think about it, if someone just magically changed genders and was butt naked in front of you, wouldn't you stare? I would regardless of the gender. And don't forget, the transformed version does resemble Naru-chan and he does wonder what the boy version looks like. Now you have me wondering, if Naru-chan was a girl would he still be interested?
(bt)Tara: Don't worry, the whole fic will be posted. I'm still working on it so it's coming steadily. The reason for the time between updates is so I can post regularly and you don't go into a 6 month withdrawal. You thought it was short? You know, without the comments at the beginning and end of the fic it was over 2,800 words. Not many post chapters that long. ;-; This one is just over 2500 words; 4200 plus with the comments, warnings and previews. The reason for this is just it seems like a good place to stop. Sorry. But next chapter will be close to 3000 words, okay?
Darkscythe1: Wai! Another sadistic mind! We should start a union or something! XD I can't wait until I post those chappies too. Actually I can't wait until I post chappie 16! XD That's going to be the… well, you'll see. I don't know if I can read your ficcies. My plate is a little full right now so we'll see.
averaye: You're reviewing again! Yay! :-D You like my little stories huh? Meh, I just can't help myself. I have no self control what so ever. XD But I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Ulitheal: Yeah it was gross… but I thought it was hilarious too. But then I'm just a mean old bitch. XD
Bakani: Yeah, you can have a pandamon. Sasuke will remember everything. And there's a damn good reason why… but you'll have to wait. :-P
Chris: You all get Malibu Itachi's, except for Kyuubi-kun since she already has one. Instead you get… ::grabs Itachi, gags him and ties him up in a red bow:: ITACHI!!! Try not to molest him too badly. XD
Naruto: But who comfort me?
Neji: I will!
Sasuke: Like hell you will!! Naruto, it's not what you think! That whore Sakura tricked me by transforming into you! She tried to take advantage of me! ;-; It was scary!
Naruto: Really?
Sasuke: Of course! Why would I ever be interested in her or any girl for that matter? You're so much cuter than she'll ever be…
Naruto: I love you Sasuke! ::glomps and kisses::
Neji: Why does fate hate me? ;-;
Naruto: REVIEW!! Chris is feeling depressed again because her assignment ended earlier than she thought it would and probably won't have any work until next year. And her Internet has gone bye-bye until next month. So make her feel better by reviewing and doing fanart if you feel like it. She's easily amused and easy to please!
Chris: Oooh! A butterfly!
Naruto: Yeah… Anyway, if she gets at least 20 reviews she will update early! Otherwise, it'll be 12/31 before she posts the next chapter… probably. She's been really moody lately. It's scary! ::wobbly eyes::
Chris: Don't forget my Internet has died on me. I'm uploading this puppy at the library so, you know… I'll do what I can!
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Excerpt from Chapter 8:
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"Geeze, I'm really starting to prune up like an old man! Hey Sasuke, can we go get some lunch? I'm starving!"
"Ramen, right?" I smirk with amusement.
"Well of course! Unless of course you hate me now… you know… because of last night. And so you never wanna see another ramen noodle as long as you live…"
"I told you before, I'm not mad at you. I honestly don't think I could ever hate you either. As long as you don't gorge yourself, I'll be fine. Let's not have a repeat of last night, ne?"
"Fine," my kitsune sighs in mock defeat. "Oy, what are we going to do about him?"