A/N: I'm much more satisfied with this chapter. :3 Yup yup. And it has lots of Zetsu! :D Haha, I love Zetsu. Does anyone know if they make Zetsu plushies…? oO I know they have like Deidara or Shikamaru, but I've never seen a cannibalistic Oreo plant one… I would love a cannibalistic Oreo plant plushie. xD Lawlz.

Enjoy, and thank you so much for reading! Reviews…? x3 -huggles-

I don't own Naruto. Charlie does. He bought it from Kishi. Because Charlie is kewl like that.

--

.x.sEvEn.x.

As far as old sayings went, the one that best suited Hidan was "Music soothes the savage beast". Obviously. The change in his demeanor was clearly visible from the first note. If it weren't for all of the music he hoarded, Hidan would have been quite a lot worse off than he already was. Probably either dead or in a psyche ward. Maybe even jail, if he snapped on someone with that anger management problem he had. Back in high school, it wasn't always verbal fights he got into.

He'd changed, though. He'd found music and Jashin. In the almighty words of Green Day, 'It's not over till you're underground.'. Hidan believed that. And he was going to give the world hell before he let it take him under.

--

Zetsu was pampering the Venus flytrap he kept on the cash register when Hidan came in. "You're so pretty. Yes, you're very pretty. …I think he's happier when I talk to him. …No, you idiot! He likes me most. …Liar! …Don't call me a liar, you—oh. Hi. …Hidan! How's Kuzu-chan?"

Hidan flashed a don't-even-ask look. "This display is falling over. Stop bickering about your damn plant and help me fix it."

"…Are you in a bad mood? We're sorry."

"No you're not. You love every minute of it." He pushed on the display, straightening it. Today he just wanted to focus on work…

"…That is true. You're right. It's hilarious, frankly. …Now, now! Be nice. He's in a bad mood."

Groaning under his breath, he slouched back over to the counter. "And I'm not in a bad mood! This is how I always act. Jashin. Not that you're helping any."

"…Ooh. He is in a bad mood. …I told you so."

"Would you please shut the hell up?!"

Zetsu sighed. "Yes you are. The only reason you would say you aren't is if you were."

"That makes no fucking sense."

"What can we say? …You don't make any sense either." He flipped the shop's sign to open and took his place by the register.

"Whatever."

"…Well," Zetsu's nicer side said brightly, "We do have something that might cheer you up! …Nothing ever cheers him up. …Oh, shush. Remember what our therapist said? …'Act positively'. Yeah, yeah. She doesn't know anything. She doesn't spend every waking moment cooped up with such a damn optimist like you. …Fine, be that way. So, Hidan!"

Oh, so he was back to focusing on him now. That was the one thing about Zetsu; you had to wait a while to get back into the conversation yourself. "Yeah?"

"Are you doing anything Tuesday night…?"

"Okay, seriously. If you've put me on some online dating service again, I'm gonna—"

"No, no, of course not! …The only reason we'd do that again would be to prove the only person you're compatible with is Kuzu-chan. …Ooh la la. Not a bad idea. …I know. I'm brilliant. …But anyway, you're free that night?"

There was a scheme. There had to be a scheme somewhere. With Zetsu, there was always a scheme somewhere. "I'm open."

A near-carnivorous grin exploded on Zetsu's face. "…Goodie." Out of his pocket, he fished a pair of tickets.

UWAH.

OH MY JASHIN, CONCERT TICKETS.

It didn't matter what they were for, concert tickets were always irresistible for Hidan. (Even when Zetsu had an agenda.) He whisked them out of his hands, breathing in their lovely ticket-smell. Sighing happily, he read them. "My Chemical Romance? Dude, their live show is amazing. Mosh pit, here we come…!"

"Actually," Zetsu started, "Just here you come."

"What? Why? But there's two…"

Aw, shit. Here comes the agenda.

"…We have to go to a gardening expo." White Zetsu explained, "Of course, you can still go to the show. …Maybe you'll invite someone?"

"Have both of you forgotten that I have no friends?" Hidan whined, "No friends, period. Except for you. You, who are abandoning me for a motherfucking gardening expo!"

"Sorry," Zetsu shrugged, "But you know, it would be such a shame to miss such an amazing show, as you say…"

"Yeah, but I don't want to go by myself."

Nice Zetsu chimed in, "…But we do know someone who would almost certainly go with you, Hidan! …And we're pretty sure you know him too."

He shifted nervously. The hidden agenda, the hidden agenda… "And who's that?"

Smiling sweetly, the two personalities said in unison, "Kakuzu!"

Cha-ching. You've won one all-expenses-paid hidden agenda. Surprise, surprise. Surprise of the fucking century. "Kakuzu?! Why would I take him?! Why would he want to go?! With me especially?!"

"…You would take him because you want to go no matter what the company is. …And Kuzu-chan, as we know from what you've told us, would want to go himself because it's a free ticket. And he likes the band, anyway."

He blinked. Damn it, they were free tickets. That would be really enticing for old money-whore. Jashin damn it, and that's right… The day he'd stumbled into the store by accident, he'd been looking for the first MCR record. "Fuck! Fuck, fuck…!" Hidan swore, flabbergasted.

Zetsu was too good at this.

Just too good at this… He looked down at the pretty pair of tickets clutched in his hand.

"…Just think about it, okay?" Zetsu nodded, knowing his mission was completed.

--

A good mosh pit was a sight to behold. A sight even worthy of Jashin, in some cases. Hidan had experienced many, and he was seldom disappointed. The adrenaline, the unity…

"Ahhh, it's too tempting!" He groaned, pounding his head against the wall. Back home now, he sat on his bed with the tickets lain out at his feet. He squeezed his eyes shut and opened them once. "Okay. Okay, let's make a list. Pros and cons and all that shit. Then maybe I can talk myself out of it…right?"

The pros.

Mosh pit.

Concert.

Free tickets.

Great band.

Mosh pit.

(Yes, the mosh pit counted as two. Hidan loved them with a passion…)

And as for the cons half of the list.

…

…

…It involved asking Kakuzu, fuck damn it!

The Jashinist groaned again. Honestly, Zetsu had out done himself this time. He was such a glutton… And not just speaking about food. He loved to watch Hidan suffer. Loved it. He wasn't much off from Kakuzu in that department.

Because Hidan absolutely refused to see that Zetsu was doing this for his own good this time. Perhaps he did know somewhere inside of himself, but when Hidan refused something, he flat out refused it.

But dude.

Those pristine tickets were staring at him with eyes more soul-penetrating than Charlie's… (If they had eyes. But it really felt like they did.)

Staring.

Staring, staring…

So. There was a huge pile of pros, and only one con…? "Fuck it," he muttered, swiping the crisp tickets so they'd stop staring, and rushed down the stairs to take the living room by storm. "Yo, Kakuzu!"

Slowly closing the book he'd been skimming, the dark haired man raised an eyebrow. By now, he was used to Hidan's loud announcements. Scolding him to tone it down was a lost cause. "And…?"

"Saturday! You're coming with me! Got it? Good!" He scrambled, appalled that he was actually saying it. Yuck, he never wanted to say that again…

"Whoa, slow down. I hardly heard a thing you said. You think I'm going somewhere with you…?"

His nose wrinkled. Jerk. "Yeah, you are." He held up the orange and white tickets. "My Chem. And don't start bitching about the price, it's free. I'll even pay for the parking too… I just need somebody to go with me. Obviously you're my last resort, so…" (Ha. Make that only resort.)

Kakuzu blinked, interested. "My Chem? Free…?"

Hidan grimaced. "Yeah." Oh, Jashin. Was he really doing this…? Inviting his nemesis on something that could easily fall into the definition of a date…?

He was.

Oh, he was.

And he wanted him to say yes.

He wanted him to say yes…

Zetsu, I hate you. Zetsu, you're putting bad thoughts in my head… Hidan could feel himself blushing as Kakuzu regarded the two tickets. Money-whore was hot… Very hot, and Hidan had noticed it since the first look, even though it was an angry look. Apparently so had Zetsu, and Zetsu was as straight as could be… (Closet porn addict. Hidan wished he'd never found that out. Eep.)

When Kakuzu finished reading them and look back up, Hidan caught himself and corrected his demeanor. "You take ages."

"I'll go. It is free, after all… So I'll go."

And Jashin damn him for it, but those few words made him feel excited.

Not only for the sake of the music and the mosh pit, either.

For something entirely beside the point, out of the question, something nobody ever should've had to deal with.

For Kakuzu's company.

I am so going to Hell for this…