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Special thanks to purpledragon6 and everyone else who contributed to the quotes!
Disclaimer: I do not own YJ or any person, place, or thing in this story!
Enjoy!
A good friend will ask what's wrong...
Wally digs his head into his pillow, grimacing at his sheer stupidity. Roy and Dick, in the doorway, exchange sympathetic looks.
"What do you think is wrong?" Roy asks softly, not used to seeing the other redhead so down.
Dick frowns, then grins. "I can find out."
Roy watches Dick ninja-stalk into the room, silently opens Wally's desk drawer, and takes out a messy bundle of newspapers. Dick steals back out of the room to the hallway, notes Wally hasn't budged, and quickly ticks through them.
"Wally keeps news clippings of us. Like a diary, sort of. We just need to find...there. Yesterday's date." Dick shows Roy a picture of Wally on the ground, his cheeks brilliantly red, looking mortified.
"What happened?" Roy asks, concerned.
Dick quickly scans the article, then winces. "Oooh. He was going at 200 mph and hit a pothole in front of a whole crowd of people. He went...oh, man...two miles and hit the ground so hard he caused another pot hole. That was where the road rash is from."
Roy flinches. "Oh, man. All those people..."
"Flash laughing his head off in the background probably didn't help," Dick points out, pointing to where Barry is doubled over in the background.
Roy unfolds his legs and walks into Wally's room to sit on his bed and pat his back. "It's okay, buddy. Like those people never tripped before. Don't worry about it."
Wally looks up at him. "How the hell did you find that out?"
"Dick stole your diary."
"Dude! I do not have a diary!"
Dick snickers and waves the newspapers, then pats Wally's cheek condenscendingly. "I know how to get back at Barry, if you're interested."
Wally snaps up in bed, excited. "Seriously?"
...but a best friend will read your diary to find out.
A good friend will let you couch-crash for the night when you're fighting with your parents...
Roy sinks down onto the Young Justice sofa and peels his mask off tiredly just as Kaldur comes in with blankets.
"You cannot stay here permanently. Perhaps you should patch things up with Ollie," Kaldur reccomends, passing the blankets off.
"Yeah, maybe," Roy shrugs noncommitedly. "Thanks."
"Of course. Good night."
Roy watches Kaldur go and settles back on the couch tiredly, ready for some sleep. He's nearly drifting off when a familiar weight drops on his stomach.
"Ugh," he groans, peeling his eyes open. Immediately Dick's bright baby blues catch his gaze and Roy groans again. "Oh, no. No, no, no, no-"
"Hear us out." Wally leans over so that Roy is now looking up at the two. "Besides, Dick's on your chest. You really have no choice."
"You need to talk to Ollie," Dick pleads, crossing his legs and dropping all of his weight onto Roy. "He's kinda depressed. He really didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Roy-boy."
"And you're acting like a kid," Wally adds, licking a popsicle that wasn't in his hand a minute ago.
"Don't drip that on my face," Roy warns, swatting at his face. "I don't want to talk to Ollie. He stabbed me in the ba-"
"Not on purpose. C'mon. He and Dinah want you in their wedding, but you won't answer the phone. Please, Roy?" Dick begs, puppy-dog eyed. Roy groans again and sighs through his nose, knowing that he's been defeated.
"Fine. I'll talk to him in the morni-"
"See, Ollie? Roy'll talk to you know," Wally beams, holding a slightly windblown looking archer by the forearm. Dick laughs and leaps off of his chest, grabbing hold of Wally's arm just as Wally darts away.
Roy stares up into his mentor's apologetic face and sighs. "Dick and Wally won't give either of us a moment's peace until we talk."
Ollie smiles sadly. "I'll go get some coffee."
...but a best friend will force you to talk things through with your parents.
A good friend will make you look good in front of your date...
"He's kinda gruff."
"He kicks puppies."
"He spits on old people."
Roy frowns as he towels off his hair, trying to figure out who Wally and Dick are talking to. He didn't hear any knocking, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything, when you have one boy who was trained by the Batman...
Oh, no, no, no...
Roy throws his towel aside and stumbles out into the foyer, where his date has a hand over her mouth with shoulders shaking, eyes glimmering with amusement. Wally and Dick are leaning on either side of the door, tagteaming her.
"He dropped my baby brother on his head."
"He steals cable."
"He skips rent."
"He runs drugs."
"He sells liquor to minors."
Roy rushes forwards. "Oh, uh, hey, Kara. You m-met my f-friends?"
Kara Kesler's smile lights up the area. "Hey, Roy. And yeah...some friends you got."
Roy throws a glare at the two, who grin back innocently. "Yeah...friends. Ready to go?"
"Sure." Roy throws one more glare at the duo but starts after Kara, just as Dick mentions absently:
"You probably want to wear some shoes, Roy. Just saying."
Roy flushes up brilliantly red and scrambles for his tennis shoes as Kara giggles in the hallway and his two 'best friends' laugh in his family room.
...but best friends will do all in their power to mortify you in front of your date.
A good friend will spot you five bucks for a subway token...
Roy groans as he rechecks his wallet. "Oh, crap."
"What?" Dick asks, handing over five bucks for a subway token.
"Forgot my five bucks at home. Can you spot me?"
Dick shakes his head apologetically. "Sorry, man. I only brought five dollars."
"Hey, Walls," Roy calls over to the redhead, who's flirting with two girls, "Have five bucks I can borrow?"
Wally looks afronted. "Hell, no, man." Then he snickers, coming up to the window. "Looks like you're runnin', Roy-boy."
Dick looks around Wally's shoulder. "Hey, that cute girl's checking you out."
"What?" Wally twists around just as Dick shoves five dollars into Roy's hand. Roy looks at him curiously and Dick shrugs.
"He can beat the subway, anyways," Dick points out, and the two go through the gates for the subway.
Wally whips back around and realizes his five dollars are gone. "Hey! Guys!"
"Looks like you're runnin', Kid Oblivious."
...but a best friend will steal your money and tell you to start running.
A good friend will talk you out of a stupid dare...
"You first, man."
"No way."
"You're the oldest, you're supposed to go first."
"No way. You're high as a kite."
"Well, I'm not jumping."
"Well, then, we've got a problem, because I'm not jumping either."
Wally and Roy glare down the side of the building as Dick cackles behind them, obviously amused with their predicament. The three had decided to play truth-or-dare, bored from the slow patrol, but now were rethinking it. After all, Dick always comes up with the most dangerous, most ridiculous dares...
"You both have to jump," Dick points out, chuckling. "You both chose dare."
"You jump!" Wally demands, pointing over the side of the Wayne Enterprises, one hundred and six stories up.
Dick shrugs. "Fine." He leaps off the edge of the building with a whoop, falling fifty stories, then swinging up to the opposite rooftop. "C'mon, cowards!"
Roy and Wally both suck in a deep breath, take three steps back, ready their grappling hooks, and-
Roy grinds to a stop at the edge of the building and watches Wally sprint over the side, laughing loudly as he screams and fumbles for his hook. Dick bends over to breath on the other side, laughing just as hard as the speedster grips hold of the building, cursing and shaking.
"Hey!" Wally yells, registering that Roy didn't jump. "Dude!"
"Payback for pushing me off the bridge!"
...but a best friend will not only encourage you to do it but will promise to do it with you, trick you into doing it, and laugh as you epically fail.
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