Guess who's back! Yes it's me Satan lol just kidding... sorta. I am back, thank you all who are still here after everything that happened. I've taken my time to heal and get my head together (as much as it'll ever be together cause no lie I have a real messed up mind) but yea, so I'm saying this now, I'm quickly updating this from my phone so if there are any mistakes, I'm sorry.

Also I'm aware that this chapter is pretty short, but this felt perfect as I wrote it so I'm just going with it.

I never thought that waking up in the morning would be so horrible but each time I opened my eyes I was blinded with light which made the pounding in my head unbearable. I tried thinking back to last night and I could only remember a few memories and they were all from that morning. Isaac and Boyd coming over for breakfast, Cora trying to attack Elaine, texting Stiles that he could come over, telling Cora I would ask Elaine to leave, telling Elaine she couldn't stay here anymore.

Then... nothing.

Lifting my head up I glanced around, noting at I was laying in the middle of the floor. What the fuck happened last night? With a load groan I lifted myself into a sitting position, my hand lifting up to run through my hair to rest on the back of my neck, my fingers digging into my skin as i closed my eyes and let the memories of last night play in a loop in hopes that I could remember what happened.

I have no idea how long I was sitting here when I caught a whiff of Stiles' scent, my shoulders instantly sagging with relief. He was here, maybe he could help me figure out what the fuck happened last night. After a moment I felt one of my eyebrows arch up. Why has he not come inside? Actually, why didn't I hear his jeep pull into the driveway? Jumping to my feet I felt my head spin but I needed to piece together what the fuck was actually happening. Rushing to the front door I swung it open and came face to face with... nothing. Turning my body I slammed the door shut and looked around, that was when I spotted to material laying on the floor near the couch.

It was one of Stiles' shirt. He left it here when I had a pack 'puppy pile' as he liked to call it. I had it upstairs in my room, I forgot to mention it to him anytime he came over. Walking over I bent down and let my fingers curl around the shirt before I lifted it up. Only then did I notice that the scent was different, like it was tainted. Bringing the fabric up to my nose I inhaled, and I felt my eyes change to a crimson red. Masking Stiles' sweet scent on his shirt was Elaine's scent.

Oh god.

Oh. God.

I couldn't get up and out of the house fast enough when blurry visions of what happened last night flashed behind my eyelids each time i blinked my eyes. I kissed her. I fucking kissed her and he seen it. My feet couldn't move fast enough as I ran through the woods towards his house. Would he hear me out? Would he let me explain what happened? I sent up a silent prayer that he would listen and believe that I would never do anything like that to him. Sliding to a stop outside of his house I focused in on his room, listening for a heartbeat. I only heard one, one that I instantly recognized as Stiles'.

Taking a step back I launched myself up into the open window , something I had done countless times. What I wasn't expecting was a hit to the face. A very hard punch to my jaw. I reached up to cup my wounded jaw, I would heal instantly but it was the fact that Stiles was the one to deliver the blow that hurt the most.

"Stiles, I know you're upset but please let me explain." I rushed out before he had time to speak.

"No! Get out, I know you're just gonna come up with the best lie ever and I'm gonna fall for it because I want this to work but you fucking kissed her and you can't even deny it because if you try so god help me I will fucking hit you with a baseball bat and I have a metal one now!" He screamed, actually screamed in my face. By the time he finished his verbal assault his face was red and the vein on his neck was pulsing like crazy.

"You're right, I did kiss her... but I-" I started but was quickly cut off when I felt a sting across my left cheek. He hit me, again.

"Don't even bother explaining the rest. Get out." He muttered through his gritted teeth, bearing them as he hiss out, "Now." "No, not until you listen to me!" I started but Stiles lashed out at my again, his hand coming out to strike me again only I grabbed a hold of his pale, slim wrist tightly enough that he couldn't get away, but not enough to hurt him.

"Why? Why me?" He choked out, his once honey golden eyes that could light up the room were now dull and lifeless as they began to fill with unshed tears. "Why did you have to pick me? Why did you have to make me fall in love with you if you knew I would never be enough. Why her?" He gasped out a strangled sob and he slid onto the floor, bringing me with him as I tried to cup his face in my hands. Thankfully he let me.

"Derek I can't do this anymore." Came his gasped reply and I could swear my heart stopped beating completely. "I can't keep sneaking around with you. I can't fucking stand knowing that we can't go out in public together and actually act like we're together. I'm tired of sneaking around and basically being your little side boy-toy or whatever you want to call me. I'm done Derek, sign me out or whatever but... I just can't anymore." The sound of his voice breaking had me sucking in a harsh breath, my head widely shaking from side to side.

"Stiles listen to me, you were never a boy-you of mine. You are everything to me and I-" when bloodshot honey brown met mine I was frozen. I did this to him. I was the reason he was crying and in pain. I kept telling myself I needed to protect him from things that wanted to hurt him but in the end, it was me who was causing him the most pain. How are you suppose to keep someone safe when you're the reason they're always hurt?

"I loved you, Derek. I think I'll always love you, but let's be honest here, this was never going to work out between us. I'm a kid-" He sucked in a quick breath, fat, hot drops of tears began to stream down his face while I tried to quickly wipe them away. "I'm a fucking kid who knows nothing, I'm nothing." He lifted a hand and I watched as he twirled his finger around while mouthing 'whoopty fucking doo'.

"No, don't ever say that. You aren't nothing Stiles, you're everything. I wish you could see it, I wish you could see how fucked everyone would be if they didn't have you in their life." It was all I could say. I couldn't argue about the age because he was still a kid, but damn did he have the mind of a genius old man. Lifting my head I pressed my lips against his forehead and let out a slow, shaky breath. I could feel my eyes burning with unshed tears, I could feel my wolf clawing at me from the inside, shaking with rage. I wish my wolf could tear me apart, because I know it wouldn't hurt as much as this was about to hurt.

"I'll let you go, Stiles. If it's really, truly what you want then I will. I don't want to be the cause of your pain, I don't want to make you hate yourself or doubt yourself. I want you to be happy, and if that's not with me then I'll suffer because you deserve all of the happiness in the world." Stopping I took a shaky breath, the tears I was fighting to keep in finally sliding down my cheek. "I'll do anything and everything for you. If you want me to leave town I will, just say the words and I will do it."

Even if you tell me to go kill myself, I'd willingly do it.

"Just... Please just leave me alone for now. That's all I'm asking just... Go." With his final words he curled around hisself while I lifted him up and carried him to his bed. Laying him down I pressed one final kiss to his head. There was so much I wanted to say but watching him, the boy I loved cry because of something I did, a mistake I made, it made everything I wanted to say not worth it. Covering his small frame with the blanket I looked down at him once more before I let myself out through the window.

My body felt numb as it fell, as I ran through the woods to nowhere I couldn't feel anything. It wasn't until my legs gave out on me that I realized I wasn't in Beacon Hills anymore.

I honestly couldnt care less.

I let my body stay on the ground where I fell and I let myself do something I haven't done in years.

I cried.

Bexause once again, I lost someone I loved. And once again; it was all my fault.