Chapter VII

"…you and me"

Sam halted, immediately, as he felt every muscle tighten. His nerves sizzling under the skin and his hands coiled into fists, almost on their own. He turned to face his brother.

Dean was not afraid of Sam, not his size or his temper. But he felt uncomfortable looking at the man approaching him.

"You know what the problem is, Dean?" Sam grabbed his brother's arms, in an attempt to pin them to his side, and shook him once. Dean looked up and smiled, "I love it when you take charge, Sammy, but..", and with that, he swung his arms and broke the hold. It took more effort than he expected and it showed on his face.

"You want to fight? We can fight, but.." The fist came hard and fast. Dean was stunned. It wasn't enough to knock him down, but it did force him back a step or two. His own fist came up. But, he kept his distance and slowly loosened his fingers and touched his lip, checking for blood.

Then he spoke,"If you want to go there, we can. That won't fix anything." As angry as he was, Sam was not anxious for a physical confrontation, either. He really did agree with Dean on that.

"You still think this family thing is a reward?" Realizing there was no appropriate answer, Dean kept silent.

"As long as we keep it together, we'll be happy. Don't you understand? It's a freaking curse! Since day one, you and me, being family, being brothers, has done nothing but hurt us and everyone we care about."

This struck Dean to his core. All he had, all he ever wanted, was his family, his brother. He spent his whole life watching out for them, just to keep it together.

Sam continued, "When you came into that church, I was probably a minute away from the end. I didn't know I was going to die, but, I knew I wasn't right. And I was ok with it. We would have done our job."

"But, Sam, if you had known.."

"No, Dean. You walked in and everything changed. All of a sudden, I didn't want to go through with it. Nothing else mattered, except not disappointing you!"

"But we can fix this. All of it. We just have to stick together."

"Dammit, Dean. Aren't you listening? That's the problem, this bond. That's what stops us from doing what we have to do."

Dean thought he was listening to a foreign language. If this was the problem, there would be no fixing, not for him. "Is that why you didn't look for me, when I was in purgatory? Did that solve the problem for you?"

The silence was deafening. Dean needed to know he was wrong and Sam needed to answer.

"I had no idea what happened to you. I just had to go on by myself"

"You did alright. You found company." The comment reeked with sarcasm.

"Don't do this. I didn't try to replace you. I couldn't." Sam's thoughts went to the friendship between Benny and Dean. He remembered how hurt he felt and unnecessary.

Dean continued, "But without me, you didn't feel responsible any more, right? You walked away and became Joe Normal, just like you always wanted."

Dean didn't want to believe that his brother only came back out of obligation. He would never walk away and leave Sam anywhere. They both knew that.