Chapter 7- Searching for a reason

A/N- Right, now I really need some help with this chapter- I know its not quite right but I can't quite put my finger on the problem bits so would really, really appreciate some feedback- Follow, Favourite, Review

A steady beeping met Tony's ears; he recognised it as his own heart beat. So he was still alive then. Was that a good thing? He wasn't really sure anymore, a few hours ago he would have said no but there didn't really seem much point to either at the moment. Life, death what does it really matter? Either way he wouldn't get what he wanted.

Urgh if he was alive that meant he was in hospital, God he hated hospitals… more bad memories, none as bad as this time though. In many ways he wished he could just forget the deep nagging pit inside of him that was filling him with sorrow and despair, the events of a few days ago were etched into his memory on a harrowing replay that gave him no relief from the agony of losing them, and the agony of the betrayal that put him here.

A deep sigh cut through his thoughts, he would recognise that voice anywhere. Obadiah started to speak. "Look Tony I don't know if you can hear me so I'll just pretend for sanity's sake you can, alright?" It was nice to hear a human voice amongst the machinery, however muffled his cloudy head made it sound. The numbness in his body was beginning to slowly subside and his throat felt cramped and uncomfortable from the ventilator, oh that was coming out! "Look, I know you probably don't want to hear this right now and I don't know exactly what happened out there, but your father is in a state." 'Don't call him that! He is not my father!' No words could escape Tony's mouth but an angry spike on the heart rate monitor conveyed his message. Obadiah jumped a little and after a pause seemed to understand. "OK I know, but he's sorry Tony, truly sorry. It might be hard for you to believe but he loves you, more than words can say. His actions may not make much sense but everything he does, right or wrong, is for you." 'Huh, and that's supposed to make this alright is it?' You've got to come back to us mate, if only to tell Howard he's a jackass." There was silence for a while. Tony didn't know what to think anymore, his mind was screaming bullshit, Howard had never loved his son, but there was probably some truth in Obadiah's words, however twisted the logic might be. Either way it didn't matter, he would never forgive Howard, never stop hating him and maybe he did need to say it to his face. "Nobody expects you to forgive him Tony." 'Ha, I should bloody think not!' "Rhodes is tearing himself inside out, he needs you Tony don't let him down." Rhodey. The thought brought something other than sorrow into his heart and it felt so good.

As if by magic Rhodey's voice, drained and tired, but his all the same, cut into the room. "Thanks for that Obi." Tony's senses were starting to become clearer, Rhodey's voice came through much crisper after Obadiah's muffled speech; he felt a prickling sensation in his arm as Rhodey reached down to touch him, the clouds of darkness surrounding him where starting to lift. Looks like he was coming back whether he liked it or not.

Obadiah got up to leave, "I'll leave you guys to it, I'm pretty sure he can hear you." Rhodey nodded and waited for him to leave. Again there was a brief moment of silence, what was it with hospitals and awkward moments? He hadn't even woken up and he wanted out of there so badly. "I don't know what to say to you Tony." Rhodey sighed; this was going to be hard. "There are no words that make this better, that can make losing her any easier." Tony choked inside, the heart monitor dipped briefly while he composed himself and then stabilised. "I can barely imagine how much she meant to you or what you are going through right now, but Tony none of this is your fault, none of it." Trust Rhodey to know that Tony blamed himself, but if he had just got there quicker, done something differently; there was no excuse he should have saved her.

Rhodey looked around nervously double checking, he was truly alone. There was no one there but he lowered his voice anyway, the last thing he wanted is to be dead on a slab next to Erica, and probably Tony at this rate. "I don't know how much you know, and I don't know a lot myself but I know this wasn't an accident Tony, you've realised it already. Howard is keeping this out of the press; apparently you're on holiday somewhere." He scoffed "you can't let Howard get away with this; you've got to stand up for Erica, for her memory." He was really struggling for words so changed the topic again. "There was nothing you could have done mate, some things are just out of our control." Tony smiled internally, Rhodey was anything but stupid but Tony refused to believe that he couldn't have done anything. He wanted to make Howard pay, but how on earth do you make accusations like that against a national icon like Howard? He could be damned certain there would be no evidence; it would just be his word against his father's. "Erica wouldn't want you to blame yourself." God, Rhodey he felt like he was grasping at straws! But that was true Tony thought, Erica always found the silver lining in the darkest cloud, but how could anything positive ever come from this. She would tell him to pull himself together, to get out of bed and go live his life. But how could he do that? Where would he find the strength? He was so tired of fighting, of living.

Rhodey stared at his friend, frustration coursed through him as again he saw no change. "Dammit Tony! Why don't you wake up?" Nothing. "It's because you don't want to isn't it. Well listen Tony she is gone! they are both gone- to a better place or whatever the fuck you want to believe. They don't need you anymore, but I sure as hell do! I need you Tony Stark, you are my best friend, you're all I have left too you know, I know what you are going through! So don't you dare give up on me!" It hit Tony like a tonne of bricks. That is where he would find the strength, in his best friend. Looks like he would have to fight a while longer, despite the pain he felt because he couldn't inflict that on his best friend, no matter how bad things got.

'Right so how do you get out of a stupid coma?'

oOo

Rhodey fell asleep, head in hands when Tony didn't wake up, he hoped he hadn't been too harsh on him and made things worse. He didn't really sleep; more pressed the pause button until something, anything changed; preferably for the better! He certainly didn't dream though he was glad of that, he doubted with all the stress and worry that they would be pleasant if he did. It looked like he would be playing the waiting game, but how long could they wait before they let Tony get what he wanted and turned off the life support. No, that was just too painful to think about. Howard could afford to keep him on life support forever and that's what he'd bloody well do unless Tony finally realised that he wasn't going to get his own way this time. Rhodes tried not to keep thinking of the friends and family he'd already lost, but hospitals bring back bad memories for everyone. He was not going to let Tony join that list, it just wasn't an option.

oOo