Kakashi felt healing chakra, one of the triggers built into the jutsu he'd used to put himself into a deep trance. His first reaction was surprise to find himself alive. Naruto must have found a way to slow the bleeding until we got home, he thought. I knew he was resourceful, but I don't know how he did it without an antidote. It was a desperation jutsu, and he'd only used it twice in his life, but he knew what to expect. His senses would come back separately, and it generally took a day or two before he would be able to hear again.

Whose chakra is that? He wondered. He had a bad habit of getting injured that had driven Tsunade to distraction. She'd even accused him of being passively suicidal once, but he wasn't. He was on the front lines in any fight, and anyone who wasn't wise enough to run when they recognized him wanted his death as a trophy. He didn't admit to even himself that he also took the most risks because he was terrified of losing another teammate like he had Obito. He'd had teammates die, of course, but he'd never again felt like it was his fault, because he'd done everything he could to save them. Getting injured was less horrible than what would have happened if he had to look at another grave he felt responsible for filling. He couldn't have explained how it felt right to take the hit instead of a comrade. Death didn't frighten him; at times he wished for it, but he suspected that was as normal for ninjas as it was for him.

It had been a long time since he felt chakra that didn't have negative effects, and the rough chakra soaking into him made him miss Tsunade. He wished it could have been her soothing chakra instead of a stranger's. She had the softest chakra of any doctor he'd ever dealt with, and she didn't hurt as she healed as many doctors and medics did. Sakura was bad about that. Her chakra stung like a bee, probably because she was usually irritated with him for taking what she saw as unnecessary risks.

He wasn't feeling patient with whoever was working on him. The chakra was sluggish, and he decided it wasn't a doctor. If it was a medic working on him it wasn't a particularly good one, but Kakashi decided he wasn't in a position to be picky.

His sense of pain and touch returned next, with a vengeance, and he felt his body give an involuntary jerk. He could feel her - he could tell it was female chakra - before, but now he felt the full reality of her personal style. Her chakra itched, something he'd never felt before. She doesn't like me, he thought, glad that he didn't have any ex girlfriends in the Fan to worry about yet. At least it isn't a vindictive ex, he thought.

The next thing he was aware of was smells. Kakashi hated flowers. He hated their bright, intrusive colors, he wasn't fond of the thorns on roses, but most of all he hated their smell. They overwhelmed his almost canine sensitive nose, and after he'd been around them it was an hour before his sense of smell returned to him. After the healing chakra faded, he wondered why the first thing he'd be conscious of outside his body was a strong smell of flowers.

What the hell did you get me into, Naruto? He wondered. His nose itched with the floral stench, but he couldn't move to cover it.

Someone took my mask off, he thought.

After what felt like an eternity his nose became numb to what was an almost unbearably strong smell. He had no idea that his diminished capacity only made him as sensitive as normal people.
His relief when the floral smell finally left was enormous, but it only lead to more confusion as he was moved to another place, not far away and, thankfully, flowerless.

He was placed on something soft, and the smell of earth surrounded him.

"I'm not dead!" He tried to scream, but he couldn't make his mouth move. His heart beat faster as he waited for the inevitable dirt to fall on him, but it was only a short time later that someone lifted his head gently, opened his mouth, and poured a bit of liquid in.

What the hell? He wondered. Ok. I can figure this out. I am a genius. The problem is that I have no way of knowing what Naruto might have done. He's such a wild card.

He could think of no reason he would smell flowers and then dirt. He finally quit thinking about it and tried to wait patiently to see what was happening around him. He failed at patience that day.

He had no way to measure time. He felt someone open his mouth and pour in more liquid, and later he felt his bladder and bowels fill and empty. He had been in the hospital enough times that he knew the feel of a catheter and colostomy bag, which hadn't been inserted this time, and he cringed with embarrassment as he felt himself being cleaned. He wondered if someone could blush in their sleep.

I hope they don't know I can feel this, he thought. Whoever was helping him now used no chakra, and Kakashi thought it was a different person than the medic that had first treated him, because he was being handled gently, and before his treatment had felt rough, which he put down to the medic or doctor's inexperience.

His nose finally recovered enough to register more subtle smells, and he recognized Naruto's scent almost immediately. He wasn't surprised at that. Twice he'd woken in the hospital to find Naruto by the bed, worried and a little tearful.

But why the dirt? he wondered.

When the healer came back he could smell a light perfume, something floral but thankfully not intrusive. She didn't use chakra again, and her smell faded after only a few minutes.

He felt his bladder release again, and this time he only smelled Naruto over the scent of his own urine. He realized with a shock that it had to be Naruto cleaning him.

He began to suspect that they'd been captured. It didn't explain the smells, but jail medics weren't usually compassionate, and they probably wouldn't have done more than care for his wounds on the most basic level. He decided it must have been Naruto giving him liquid nourishment and caring for his body.

His eyesight returned, and he found himself in a small room, bare of furniture except the mats laid down for him and Naruto and a sink and toilet in the corner. Boxes of what Kakashi assumed were provisions were neatly stacked in a corner.

Naruto lay near him sleeping, and Kakashi looked for wounds or torn bloody clothes, any signs of torture. He sat up, testing his muscles and feeling no pain in even the thorn wounds which had healed and scarred already. The scars were prominent - not the work of a trained medic at all. This was done by an amateur, he thought.

The room was familiar to him. It was a panic room, which many ninjas had under or behind their houses. The walls were bare dirt, which finally solved one mystery for him. White seals with red jutsus on them were placed on all the walls and ceiling, so that chakra detecting jutsus couldn't penetrate them. It was a final guard against intrusion, somewhere a ninja could hide and hope the superior numbers of enemies or better fighters wouldn't find while they ran into the various traps that would have been sprung before the ninja used the final retreat. He had one under his own house, both in Konoha and in the Fan.

We aren't prisoners. Someone is protecting us, he thought. He didn't wake Naruto. He's probably exhausted from taking care of me. He can brief me later.

He retrieved his clothes and sat against the wall across from the iron door, which had chakra detection nullifying seals on it. He didn't feel safe, but he didn't think they were in any immediate danger, because he had been left with his weapons.

As he mulled the facts over in his mind he came to only one conclusion. It was ludicrous. But it had to be true.

Naruto woke and said something, but Kakashi shook his head and pointed to his ear. He wrote with his finger in the dirt floor. "Are we in Konoha?"

Naruto nodded, and Kakashi wrote. "You jeopardized the mission".

Naruto wrote, "you didn't stop bleeding. Ino hid us in her personal greenhouse and then brought us down here."

He ran out of room, rubbed out the conversation with his hand, and began again. "She's angry about it, but she isn't going to betray us."

"How did you get into Konoha?" Kakashi wrote.

"I am a ninja. You underis..." Naruto stopped and erased the word. "underestimete me."

Kakashi didn't correct his spelling. He got the idea. He looked into those intense blue eyes of the man that he still saw as his student sometimes, and he realized with a start that Naruto had surpassed him in some ways. He didn't know if he could have found a way into Konoha at that point, and somehow Naruto had managed it.

"Good job," he wrote, and Naruto grinned.

The heavy iron door creaked open, and Ino entered carrying a tray. She didn't look happy to see him, and when she talked and he pointed to his ears and shook his head she rolled her eyes, handed the tray to Naruto, and left.

Kakashi's stomach growled as he realized he hadn't eaten solid food for at least two days, perhaps longer. A liquid diet might have kept him alive, but it did nothing to stop hunger.

Several hours later his hearing kicked in. He had grown tired of writing in the dirt and wrote that he'd talk later. Then good, natural sleep overtook him, and he didn't wake until he heard the door open again.

Before he could speak, Ino, asked "can you hear me?"

"Hai."

"Good. Then I want you out of here as soon as you're strong enough to travel." She looked at Naruto with disdain. "Don't ever ask for my help again. You left us here with that monster".

"Ino, it wasn't like that," Naruto said.

"She went crazier after you guys ran away. We all suffered."

She looked at Kakashi. "And you... did you talk Naruto into this? He wouldn't have done it on his own."

"If we had stayed the resulting battle would have destroyed Konoha."

"If you had stayed then Choji might still be alive"

"I'm so sorry," Naruto said.

"Sorry won't bring him back," Ino spat at him. "He was the most loyal ninja I ever knew, and when it came down to it he stood up to Tsunade and died for what he believed. Don't ever ask anything of me again. While you two go back to whatever new life you built I'm going to keep trying to get Konoha through this with the other loyal ninjas."

Neither of them had a response.

"I'll leave the door unlocked," Ino said. "Leave as soon as you can."

"Thank you, Ino," Kakashi said.

"I didn't do it for you," she said, "or you," she said to Naruto. "I did it because you were my friend in better days, Naruto, and because Choji would have wanted me to."

Nothing more needed to be said, and after she left there were a few moments of silence.

"I think I can travel soon," Kakashi said.

"Do you think she's right?" Naruto asked.

"She has reasons for what she believes, but she wasn't there. Don't think about it until we're home. For now we need to think about how to get out of Konoha. How did you get in?"

"I knew where the Inuzuka's kennels come up against the west walls. I went there."

"The Inuzuka's helped you? I'm not surprised."

"A few of the dogs helped me," Naruto said. "It was about 3 am, so I came in under the wall."

"You what now?"

"I dug under, but I talked the dogs into helping first. You know that part of the compound where it's just chakra-reinforced chain link fence so the dogs can help guard the village?"

"That's considered one of the best guarded parts of Konoha. No one in their right mind would try to infiltrate there."

"I know," Naruto said. "That's why I chose it. There has to be a hundred times more sentries than there used to be around the village, and if I tried to use a henge someone might have detected the chakra. I decided to take the risk, because they don't bother patrolling there often; they don't need to usually. The dogs didn't care about me, but as soon as they knew you were injured they did everything they could to help."

"I always had good relations with the Inuzukas. The dogs almost treat the summons like rock stars. Some of them are fangirls. But it was careless. What if they had betrayed you?"

"Then I would have pulled out some tails, broken through the fence, and ran like hell. I don't think you could have survived being carried by the Kyuubi, but I would have rather seen you die that way than bleed out in a cave. At least that way you had a chance."

"You could have at least tried to let the plan work," Kakashi said.

"Every time your heart beat you lost more blood. I had one of the dogs get Ino. No one questions them moving around the village at any time of day, and she hid us in her greenhouse for awhile. She brought in a Genin in a blindfold and told her she needed to give blood for a top secret mission. She had to use three Genins that way. You lost a lot of blood."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but you don't usually use this much strategy."

"I'm not stupid," Naruto said.

"No, but you do tend to charge in."

"I had a lot of time to think about it," Naruto said, "and unlike you I don't want to die."

"I don't want to die," Kakashi said.

"You act like it," Naruto said. "No one I know gets injured so much. It's almost like you're trying to get killed in battle. It hasn't been as bad since we got to the Fan, but all of your friends notice."

"I've already heard this from Gai, Sakura, Jiriaya, and Tsunade. You guys don't know what you're talking about."

"Really? Then why were you mumbling about your father so much last night? You talked a lot in your sleep, and it sounded like you were ready to be with him. You talked to Tsunade too, and you were trying to get her forgiveness since - and you said this, "I'm dead finally, so it shouldn't matter."

"Everyone has dark thoughts sometimes," Kakashi said. "Don't make so much of it."

Naruto grunted. "Are you really going to tell me that you don't want to die? Because after the last few days I don't believe it. You seemed ready in that cave - too ready. I think best when I have time, and I've had a lot of time lately."

Kakashi couldn't honestly tell him no. "I have things to live for," he said. "My village and the people I love need me. That's enough. You can't tell me that leaving Konoha didn't make you want to end it."

"No, but I don't have a dad who killed himself, guilt over Obito, and a tendency to mope around graveyards and wreck my body whenever I get the chance. It concerns me."

"Have you completely forgotten Konoha?" Kakashi asked.

"I haven't even told Sakura," Naruto said, "but sometimes when I feel happy, when I'm playing with jewel or after I've made love I feel guilty, like I don't deserve to be happy. I'll never forget Konoha."

"I know the feeling," Kakashi said. "None of us but Gai will talk about it, but I bet we all feel that way. But everyone we know in Konoha that might support us is either dead or missing nins like us. Anko is with Danzo, and I know Shino will follow his clan. They're with Danzo too."

"You can't beat yourself up over it," Kakashi said. "If we'd chosen any differently the collateral damage would have ended Konoha. I would be shocked if we didn't all feel guilty, but you can't constantly look back over your shoulder. Konoha is the past. The Fan is the future. If we ever find a way to help Konoha I know we'll all jump at the chance. You have everything a man could want, Naruto. Don't let guilt ruin it."

"Is that why you don't want kids?" Naruto asked, "because of guilt?"

"You want to know why I don't want kids? My father killed himself because of depression, and I know I'm fucked up in the head. I don't see any reason to subject some woman to this, and I don't want to inflict my insanity on some innocent child."

Naruto's mouth fell open. "Sensei. I had no idea."

"Of course you didn't," Kakashi said. "I just realized it myself."

"You'd be a good dad. I would have been glad if you had been my father."

Kakashi wondered for just a second if Naruto was serious, but Naruto would never be anything but serious about something like that.

"Thanks," Kakashi said. "Maybe I didn't fuck up at as much as I thought I did."

"Jewel wouldn't think so," Naruto said. "She thinks you hung the moon. She keeps making masks out of her napkins lately. She says she's sensei now, and she's going to leave to kill tigers."

Kakashi laughed. "Sometimes when I'm at my lowest she keeps me going."

"And about what you did for me while I was down, thank you," Kakashi said.

"I couldn't let you die out there," Naruto said, but he blushed, and Kakashi knew they were both thinking of the way Naruto had nursed him when he was unable to care for himself.

"Enough of that," Kakashi said. We have other things to think about. That fence goes 20 feet underground. How did you do it?"

"Foxes dig fast," Naruto said. "I've learned a few tricks from Kurama over the years. I just talked him into giving me a few tips. It took an hour, but I made it. The dogs met me halfway."

Kakashi had managed to distract Naruto from a troubling conversation, but before he could stop himself he wondered, when is the last time it's mattered to me if I lived or died?

There were pockets of happiness in his life, but between them he worked himself to exhaustion to avoid thinking about the village he'd left behind.

Stop, he thought. This isn't the time for this kind of thinking. A little voice in the back of his head suggested that it never would be the time because he couldn't face the truth, but he ignored it and focused on the immediate problem. He'd already told Naruto more than he ever would have thought he'd say.

Getting out turned out to be easy. They avoided sentries until they reached the compound, and then Kakashi watched as Naruto harnessed a small amount of the Kyuubi's chakra and began to dig furiously. It wasn't enough to draw attention with the chakra of the ninja dogs around them.

"Glad you're well, Kakashi," one of the dogs said, a little too loudly in his opinion.

Dirt flew up from the hole at an amazing rate, and dogs flung it away from the mouth of the hole into the compound.

There's no way the Inuzukas don't know this is happening, Kakashi thought as he looked back at the human part of the compound. The dog's open area was massive, and the houses were far away, but he saw lights burning in two houses.

A shepherd mix saw where he was looking. "We all agreed not to tell them. We know they'd help you, but Danzo interrogates random ninjas now, and most ninjas can't resist the drugs and jutsus he uses. Your friend Ino did, but I don't know how."

"Danzo tortured her?" Kakashi asked. Suddenly her attitude made more sense.

"I don't know. She told Kiba he questioned her, and Kiba told Akamaru. Word spreads fast. We're all doing what we can to help Konoha until you and the missing nins come back and kill Danzo. Will it be soon? We've been waiting."

"I don't know," Kakashi said. Several dogs around him had been listening, and their tails quit wagging and dropped. One whined.

"I won't forget you asked though. I'm not my own master. I can't say more about that, but when I get home I'm going to talk to him about this. We didn't know anyone in Konoha thought we'd come back. The reason we left was so there wouldn't be a civil war in Konoha. We could regain it, but it would destroy the whole village."

"Then you did abandon us," a female bloodhound said. She let loose one long, sad howl.

Kakashi made a sudden decision. Logic wasn't a part of it, only the pain of a broken loyalty and the trust and utter despair in those faithful faces.

"I don't know what I can do," he said, "but I'll do what I can to help Konoha, even if it kills me to do it."

The people he'd left behind flashed through his mind, and it was most painful to think of leaving Sasuke, who he'd already failed once.

I won't betray them. I'll protect them and help Konoha. I can't believe I though no one here would back me. I can help Konoha and still be faithful to the Fan.

"We believe in you," a beautiful young collie said.

I wish I was a dog, Kakashi thought for the hundredth time in his life.

With the ground still soft from the last time he dug there Naruto made good time. Kakashi spent an hour hiding behind a dog house where he could see the hole. Naruto finally poked his head out of the hole.

"I'm done," he said. "Thanks guys. C'mon Kakashi. We need to get as far away from here as we can by dawn."

"What are you staring at, Kakashi?" Naruto asked.

He seemed unaware that his face had sharpened into a muzzle or that his hair had taken on the fed tone of a fox's fur. His hands had fox claws instead of fingers.

"You should drop that jutsu," Kakashi said. "It's affecting you more than you know "

Naruto dropped the jutsu and returned to his normal shape. "You keep me guessing," Kakashi said after he thanked the dogs for their help and promised not to forget them.

Two dogs followed them out, a large, old mastiff with three scars across its throat and Akamaru.

"We're going with you," the mastiff said.

"We want to avenge our masters. Danzo had them killed," Akamaru said. He had a patch of fur missing on his side and signs of a large, recently healed wound.

"Kiba is dead?" Naruto asked.

"It happened yesterday," Akamaru said. "I couldn't save him, but I can be an avenger."

He sounds like Sasuke when he was younger. "Come on then," Kakashi said. "Kiba was a good man. I'm sorry."