Sad stuff in this chapter, a look into her dark past! The songs featured in the chapter are Railroad Worksong and Blues stay away from me by the Notting Hillbillies, very beautiful songs! Thanks so much for your review "beth626"!

Chapter 7

"If he ask you, was I laughing. If he ask you, good buddy, was I laughing,

tell him I was cryin'. "

The radio was playing in the background while she had been working in the apartment. Stevie put away the cleaning supplies and took a beer out of the fridge. Kozik had just texted her he was about to come home.

She had tried to give the apartment a more homely feel. Before she went home that morning she had passed a Target. Not being able to resist she had bought some pillows, a throw, some candles and a small rug.

She was pleased with her efforts. Standing in the kitchen and looking into the living room she let her eyes pass the soft glow of the candles, the dark red carpet under the coffee table and the tasteful pillows and throw on the couch.

"We'll I'll be damned" she heard her brother say, as he entered the house, noticing the changes. "You like it?" Stevie asked hopeful. "Sis, im not into all that girly decorating shit but I have to say it nice coming home to this!" he said, making her smile.

"Next time you see Happy he will only be seeing you clearly with one eye by the way" he said and he winked at Stevie. "Even though I didn't need you to handle that, thanks anyway" Stevie said, hugging her brother.

"What's this?" Kozik said, picking up a picture frame.

"Do you mind? I just like to have them close you know" Stevie said.

"Is this your girl?" Kozik asked, looking at a picture of the man he knew to be Silvio holding a cute little girl with dark brown curly hair.

"Yeah.. that's my baby" Stevie said, taking the picture from him. "Its my favourite picture of those two".

"I got pregnant not long after we last saw each other actually" Stevie said, still clutching the picture.

"Jesus" Kozik said, "you were a skeleton back then!"

"Tears, so maybe I can't see. Years, don't mean a thing to me, time goes by and still I cant be free"

"Fuck can't they play something cheerful on this damn station!" Stevie said all of a sudden, hammering on the radio to change the channel.

She had her back turned to him but Kozik could see her quickly wiping her eyes.

"Hey, its ok!" He said, putting his hand on her shoulder.

"Please don't" she shook off his hand brushed past him into the kitchen.

After giving her some time to get herself together Kozik walked into the kitchen. Stevie was sitting at the table, fiercely dragging on a cigarette and clutching a beer. She was in her sweats and her hair was up. It was getting dusk and the kitchen was getting dark. As Kozik stopped by the door he admired the sight in front of him. He couldn't stop looking at his sisters face. The way she sat there, staring out the window, her mouth in a proud pout, but her eyes showing her pain. She was not so different from what he remembered. As a little girl she had a solemn sadness about her and she never dared to show her emotions. Kozik couldn't remember a time he had really seen his little sister cry.

He felt hate flare in his heart when his mind flashed back to his father. That man had ruined her. He had taken away her childhood, her innocence.

He sat down across from his sister. "Stevie, I had wanted to ask you, what really happened after I last saw you?" He had walked around with that question for quite a bit, trying to find the right time to ask her.

Stevie put down her cigarette and her golden brown eyes locked onto his with her familiar intent stare. "I'll tell you, but please remember its all over now Koz".

She took a deep breath and explained to her brother what had happened in those 10 years.

When she had told him everything she let herself disappear in her brothers big arms as he held her close. She felt his tears wet her hair. She kept looking at her ghostly reflection in the window over his shoulder, holding onto her brother who kept muttering "I'm so sorry baby girl".

When they were each in their own rooms that evening, getting ready for dinner at Jaxs' house Kozik couldn't stop thinking about what his sister had told him.

He had known about her losing her 6 year old daughter to leukaemia when she was with Silvio for about a year. He did not know what had happened before that.

He had not known she had been doing heroin since she had left home at 15. He had not known his little baby sister had sold her own body to keep up her drug habit, to stay as numb as she possibly could. He had not known that a month after her daughter had been born, Stevie gave in to drugs again and child services had taken her little baby away from her. He had not known she didn't see her child for the first 2 years of her short life. That every man she thought she loved had used and abused her. To conclude with the fact that she had now been alone for almost 2 years, having lost the man who had finally made her happy.

She had found the only way to stay sane was to keep the feelings all locked up. Especially in front of men, to her it was her only way to show them her strength when they abused her, to act like an empty shell of a human who was not affected by pain, both emotional and physical.

Silvio had started to break down the wall she had built around herself. After he was gone however she had more than ever felt the need to feel nothing. It took tremendous willpower to not reach for drugs again. She hadn't, so far. She had however tried to commit suicide.

When she told him this she had put out her thin fragile wrists at him. He had taken her hands and turned her palms up. Covering a big scar on each wrist where two tattoos. Silvio on the left, and Rhiannon on the right.

"They are my guardian angels" she had whispered.

.

.

"I really hope she will like me!" Stevie said, as she and Kozik rang the bell at Jaxs' house. "Honey I've never met anyone who doesn't like you, don't worry so much!"

"Actually you just spent the day chasing and punching one!" Stevie said, grinning at her brother.

"Well Happy isn't just anybody, he comes with a fucking manual!"

"Well I see you two are having fun already!" Jax said as he opened the door. "Come in!".

"This is Tara, my wife, and this is Abel, our son!" Jax said, with a proud look on his face.

I wanted to put the dinner in the next chapter and focus more on her past in this one.

Thanks so much for reading and please review! xx