Chapter Seven: Thoughts In A Daze
It takes just a brief fall and a hard clunk on the floor to knock Roxas out of his slumber. Will there be a morning in which I wake up like a normal person? He considers to himself, letting out a displeased moan, Just waking up without being blinded by a camera or hitting my head? And who rolls off of a bed with a railing? At that note, Roxas remembers that he never actually went to bed last night. Reaching up for the couch that he had fallen asleep on, the half-sleeping boy is rudely hit on the head with an unidentified flying object. That object, as it turns out, is the very book that put him to sleep in such an odd place: Loveless. Roxas looks up and follows the direction that the book came from back to Seifer and his two goons, looming above him and grinning cockily.
"Sleeping outside your room AND shirking off on your homework duties, huh?" Seifer lists as Raijin jots some notes down on a piece of paper, "That's going on my list, kiddo." Rubbing his head as he stands to his feet, Roxas determines whether or not he should make the effort to squeeze a few words past his groggy yawns. How is Seifer to know whether or not he finished his reading last night? The guy just wants to pick a fight.
"Screw you, Seifer..." The words come particularly easy despite his state. They feel good too. Seifer's grin turns to a snarling scowl and he flails one arm out to Raijin who scribbles a few more notes.
"You're digging your own grave, newbie," Seifer sneers, "and I'm all too eager to throw you in. You'll be out of this school before you can say 'expulsion'." At that, the three antagonists storm out, leaving Roxas to his thoughts. Being so used to fighting in the past, Roxas isn't troubled for long over his rude awakening nor Seifer's threats. Instead, his mind and gaze turn to Loveless, which is now plopped down on the couch next to him. He DID read it last night. Most of it, if not all... but the words just wouldn't stick. There was something about a goddess and probably water, but he doesn't figure that will get him too far on a test. The only part of the book he can remember is the part that Axel read in class. Maybe he should get Axel to read the whole thing to him? The thought forced a laugh past his yawns. Now he's thinking about Axel again. That guy can be a distraction, and why is it so welcome? It's not like he's really... INTERESTED in him.
Roxas chokes on his own thoughts. Nearly everything that just crossed his mind after that thought crossed the line. Blocking further thought process proves difficult as Roxas makes his way to the public bathroom. He distracts himself by considering the ways to turn off one's brain. A few splashes of cold water from the sink seem to wash the thoughts out of his mind, and the blonde takes a minute to examine his soggy face in the mirror. Cold water really is the cure, huh? It helps from choking on food (and thoughts), helps when he's thirsty... heck, he's not even tired anymore. Focusing a little more, Roxas is startled to see a large figure in the mirror behind him. He spins around to face a tall, buff man with messy brown hair. He recognizes this man as the same one who snapped at him over a seat in the caf. With a shove from a single hand, the man forces Roxas out of the way of the sink and begins to wash his hands. It's clear that the man's looking for trouble, as there are several other available sinks in the room, but even Roxas' fighting instinct tells him that it would be a bad idea to take on someone twice his size... at least this early in the morning.
Having apparently not washed his mind completely, Roxas continues to think of Axel on his way back down the hall towards the main room of the boys' dorm. Maybe he'll catch a glimpse of Axel walking out. That's just stupid. Why does he care so much? He shakes his head around as if to physically throw the thoughts out of his head. What time is it? That's a different topic. He wonders if his friends are out of bed yet. By the time Roxas makes it to the usual table where his friends sit, Hayner, Roxas, and Sora have already gotten out of bed and are exchanging yawns. They silently great Roxas with waves and nods as he joins them at the table. The silence continues for a bit, even after Olette sneaks into the dorm and joins them. Olette is the one to break the silence, however, when she finally says:
"So... what's the plan, today?" The four others exchange glances and then Hayner shrugs in response.
"Well... I figure we'll go out into town again or something." The brown-eyed boy suggests, "We could have Roxas train with that arcade game a bit more." Roxas sighs at hearing this comment. He's still not quite used to having his day planned out for him by other people. At least not in a way that he feels he should follow.
"First day of repeats!" Pence says in a mock excitement, "Everyone do their homework?"
"I did." Olette notes.
"Yep..." Hayner says uninterestedly.
"I didn't have any!" Sora grins. Roxas ignores the question and the fact that Sora said he didn't have any. It would be difficult for Sora to have avoided homework seeing as how he shares the same English class. Sora probably wouldn't get Loveless, anyway.
That isn't a point to which he can say much, however, as he did fall asleep while attempting to read it himself. How is the teacher going to quiz the class on poetry, anyway? Isn't the point of poetry to interpret it how you want to? Heck, he can't even do that with what little he remembers.
"I'm heading for class." Roxas says, standing up from his chair.
"Still the early bird, huh?" Hayner shrugs with a laugh, "Don't you want to hang for a bit?"
"I'll catch up to you guys later." The boy responds and walks out the door to the dorm.
On his way towards class, Roxas flips through the pages of Act I in the book. If he can memorize any little thing before class, it's better than nothing. He leans against the wall by the locked door to his classroom. Skimming the pages really isn't doing much good, and it goes from bad to worse as the black haired girl, Yuffie, joins him in waiting.
"Read the chap?" She asks, clearly making small talk.
"Yeah…" Roxas nods, continuing to flip through the book.
"Tch, Liar." She laughs and pokes the boy's shoulder, "You're trying to read it fast before class right now, right?"
"I read it last ni—"
"You know… I could give you the details on the chapter for a small, insignificant little price." A grin forms on the girl's face and she eyes him eagerly. Clearly she's a morning person.
"I said I read it…" Roxas repeats in annoyance. The girl gives a small shrug and a sigh and then shuts her eyes with a tight grin.
"Whatever you say. There's still fifteen minutes before class in case you change your mind." As Roxas assumes from that statement, the next fifteen minutes consist of smirks and quick glances from the girl, and the occasional reminder of how much time he has left.
"Wow. You're a tightwad, aren't you?" She pokes Roxas again as it becomes time for class.
"I told you I read the—" Roxas is interrupted as Professor Trepe comes between the two students to open the door to class. Roxas and Yuffie, along with a number of other students arriving at class, take seats and wait for the teacher to begin.
"Good morning class." The teacher turns to face them. Axel arrives at about the same time she says this and finds his seat at the back of the class. Roxas' mind trails off for a moment while the teacher speaks until he finally hears the inevitable words: "Now I will quiz you on the material from Act I." The teacher hands out the quiz and Roxas takes a look at it. Apparently the point of poems isn't to interpret them how you like, as the quiz is entirely about determining what certain lines mean in their contexts. How is he supposed to determine what Ripples form on the water's surface means in a poetic sense? Isn't it just the obvious? Probably not, but that's the best he's got.
Already the blur of school has begun, Roxas thinks as he darkens the circles of his multiple choice test. This feeling starts here and continues like a dream for a while, pausing for a moment of disappointment while Axel disappears after class, and blending the next hour and a half of Roxas' Science class and lunch together. It's a daze in which the lessons and note taking become only vague memories, and the minutes tick by on the clock in random skips and jumps that never seem to make it to the end of the hour. This is a feeling Roxas has become uncomfortably familiar with in the past. It's the feeling of the monotonous system programming you for several hours each day mixed with the knowledge that you have nothing to go home to afterward. This feeling has been being forced upon Roxas by the 'powers that be' for all his life. He's never really understood why they don't just leave him alone. He doesn't have a family, he doesn't have a reason. They should just let him exist in peace. It makes him sick... or at least this used to be how it was.
Now, the school system is the same, but the feelings that go hand in hand are being breached by some new ones. Here at Sunset Hill, Roxas sees more of himself in the other students then he ever has in the past, whether he likes them or not. None of them have somewhere to go home to after school. Many of them are delinquents either by nature or for survival. Sure, they may still have families somewhere in the world, but they're just as stuck at this school as he is. Also, the drowning affect of the daze is being challenged by the existence of a few particular individuals which he can actually call friends... and also by Axel. Even still, Roxas can never manage to shake the feeling entirely. This kind of school just isn't for him. There's something missing.
It is only by the time of Art class that the feeling begins to subside. The last class of the day means that it's almost over, and Art has proven to be not so bad as far as he's concerned. Megara asks the class to draw a few stationary objects to show how well they grasp perception in their pictures, or something like that. Having been struck by the daze and distracted by other thoughts, Roxas has little attention for the task that's been given. Like most people, he figured out how to draw a pretty much three-dimensional cube shape when he was younger, and resorts to drawing some boxes. A little constructive advice is given by the teacher after class upon showing the picture, and Roxas is finally allowed to move on. He is done with another day of classes.
Roxas' daze is only truly broken, however, when he is startled into alertness by the sound of a voice calling his name as he walks down the path to the boys' dorm.
"Roxas!" The voice repeats. It's a girl's voice, high and shy, getting closer to him. He turns on his heel to see the blonde girl from his art class running up to him. She stops short, clutching her drawing pad close to her chest, and Roxas feels that her expression must look a lot like his own did when Axel actually turned to him the previous night. They stare for a minute and Roxas lamely says nothing. The girl's eyes drift off for a moment, gathering her thoughts, and then she suddenly snaps back to meet Roxas' gaze, as if fighting the urge to run off.
"I... I saw your drawing after class." She begins rather awkwardly, "Well... not this class, but last class. I'm sorry..."
"Sorry?" Roxas can't help but repeat the word. Is she apologizing for his extreme lack of drawing ability?
"No... I'm... sorry. I'm so stupid... My name's Naminé." This is just a very confusing jumble of words to Roxas, so he simply decides to ignore most of it.
"Oh, so you're Naminé?" he remembers Hayner's mention of her.
"Yes." She confirms, nervously placing her fingertips together in front of her drawing pad, "I saw your drawing last class. It was good. Oh, and thank you for saying mine was good!"
"Mine...? Good?" Roxas laughs a bit, "Are you sure you're thinking of me?"
"Yes." She nods, interlacing her fingers, "The star. It was good. It was simple but... good."
"That's kinda what the teacher said..." he says, beginning to wonder why this girl came to him, "but I'm not really sure what it means..."
"It means..." She considers for a moment, "It had a message to it. It was a simple drawing, but it had meaning."
"Meaning...?"
"Yes. You were the star, weren't you?" She stares at him. Honestly, Roxas doesn't know what he was thinking when he drew the star. Part of him feels like he was just doing it to get by the class, but he does have a vague recollection of it meaning something at the time.
"What do you mean?" He says, actually curious.
"I think you were the star. You drew it all alone in the middle of the page, because you feel alone in the middle of this school." She seems to have a hard time not trailing off while she talks. It's an effect of self-doubt that Roxas has seen a few times in the orphanages in the past. He focuses on the way she talks instead of what she's saying, because whether he had been thinking this at the time or not, her explanation hit eerily close to home. This doesn't seem to work, however, as after just a moment of silence, Naminé seems to see that she's right.
"Uh..." Roxas starts and she holds up a hand to stop him from talking. She withdraws the hand and places it on her chest.
"I'd like to show you how to draw." She smiles softly, "So that you can express that even better." Immediately, Roxas' old nature kicks back in. This girl is nice and all, but friends never work so well for Roxas. He's pushing his luck with the four he's made recently.
"No thanks." Whether this is what he wants to say or not, this is what comes out, "I'm not really into sharing any deeper meanings. It's nice of you but... I'm not really the kind of guy you want to hang around." He begins to walk away before she even has the chance to respond. He doesn't dare to look back as he hears nothing but silence behind him.
Nice new start, Roxas... He frowns to himself. And the daze comes back...