Chapter 7
(in this chapter, I use a song by Kelly Clarkson, but I changed the words around a bit so… Here you go! Hah)
"Jude, are you okay?" Tommy asked, as they sat in his car.
"Take me to your place?" she replied, avoiding the question.
Tommy nodded and started the car, pulling out and heading toward his house. They drove in silence as Jude stared out the window at the trees they passed. Tommy pulled into the driveway and came to a slow stop.
"I like his house," Jude thought to herself, looking up at the house crossing her arms to keep warm, "It's not huge like I imagined… but not small… It's stone and wood and looks a bit like a cabin… A very nice, very well-kept cabin..."
She also noticed that the house was kind of secluded… Surrounded by trees and a little bit of a drive from G major. It wasn't too long, but not like Jude's drive.
"He goes out of his way when he picks me up…" She also realized, suddenly feeling a little bad about asking him to pick her up so much.
He walks around and holds out a hand to Jude. She unfolds her arms and takes his in hers, and he leads her to the door after giving her a soft, gentle smile and kissing her on the forehead.
Once they were inside, Jude began to write feverishly as Tommy went to fix them some hot cocoa.
Twenty minutes later, she looked up at Tommy with relief in her eyes.
"Done?" he asked, noticing her movement.
"Mm hm," Jude nodded.
He crossed over and sat next to her on the couch, taking the notebook in his hand and beginning to read.
"Because of You"Tommy read silently,
"I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause a heart so much misery
I will not run the way you did
I fell so hard
But I've learned the hard way,
To never let it get that far
Because of you
I never stray too far
From the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me,
But everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I choose my own way
And it's not too long before you're having doubts
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake,
A smile, a laugh every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far
From the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me,
But everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than
To lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
But I no longer cry from my dreams at night
Of watching you as you leave!
[Chorus
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I have to figure out how to let even him in
Because of you
I've been changin my heart to fill the part that's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you"
When Tommy had finished reading the song, he sighed and ran his hand through his hair.
"Wow…" he breathed before looking up at Jude, "That was… amazing, girl…"
"Really?" she asked shyly.
Sure Tommy had read her work countless times before, but this time was different. This song wasn't about him, or love, or anything like that...
He gave her a knowing look, "Would I lie?"
"Would you?" she asked with a pleading look, remembering what her mother had said.
Tommy's face fell when she looked at him that way, and pain filled his eyes.
"Baby, no…" he said, placing a hand on her cheek, "Never again…"
She nodded, knowing it was the truth, and mentally kicked herself for asking him such a question. Another pained look passed Jude's face as she thought about the last thing her mother had said to her.
Tommy, as if reading her mind, moved his other hand so that he was holding her face in both and said in a quiet and sincere voice, "I love you, Jude… Like I've never loved anyone… You are everything to me, and I wouldn't change one thing about you…ever..."
She nodded, a tear rolling down her cheek, which he quickly wiped away with his thumb.
"You're perfect, Jude…" he added before leaning in and kissing her gently.
Jude, who was almost to tears, put all of her emotion into that kiss. Tommy moved his hand to her back and pulled her closer to him as the kiss was deepened, and after a moment, Jude silently came to a very big decision. She reached down to the hem of his shirt and lifted it a little until Tommy raised his arms, allowing her to remove it completely. Jude's breath caught in her throat as her hand touched his muscular design, but he quickly pulled her back into the kiss, lying back on the couch without breaking the connection and taking Jude down with him. After a minute, she pulled away and began to unbutton her shirt slowly, and once it was removed, Tommy's eyes filled with lust as he ran his hand along the curve of her waist, in awe of her. After another five minutes of this, a sudden panicked look passed his face.
"Wait," he said standing up quickly, "We can't…"
"What?" she asked in a hurt tone, "What's wrong?"
He looked down at her and saw the pain and fear in her eyes, and sat quickly, placing a hand on her cheek.
"Oh, baby, no… Nothing's wrong…" he assured her, but Jude still didn't understand.
"Then why don't you want to…" she trailed off, motioning toward the couch they were sitting on.
"I do!" he replied immediately, "So much…"
"Then what is it, Tommy?" she stared into his eyes, searching for something, before her eyes took on an even more pleading look as she asked, "…Do you think that I'll be bad at it..?"
"I…" he trailed off, not knowing how to say what he needed to.
Jude's eyes dropped.
"I get it…" she said, standing up, putting her shirt back on, and grabbing her stuff, "I won't push you anymore… I'll see you at G major tomorrow night, Tommy. Goodbye."
She rushed out the door, pulling out her cell phone and kept running down the street. Tommy followed her but after a minute, he turned to get back into his viper and pulled out in the direction Jude had gone.
When he didn't see her, he called her phone, but the call was ignored.
"Damn it!" he yelled, hitting the steering wheel of his viper which was now pulled over.
He leaned his head against his fist which was still resting against the wheel. He was jerked from his thoughts only a moment later by the sound of his phone ringing.
"Jude??" he answered without looking at the screen.
"Tommy, it's Spied," a voice spoke from the other end.
"Spied, I don't really have time to talk, I'm trying to find-"
"Jude… Yeah, I know…" Spiederman cut him off, "She called me… She asked me to pick her up… She sounded really upset, but she wouldn't tell me what happened, and really, it's none of my business, so you don't have to tell me either…"
"It was a complete misunderstanding! She thought I didn't want to… Nevermind, that's not important… Where is she?"
"I think she needs you to give her a little space right now…" Spiederman responded, "I'm getting her and taking her home, so you don't have to worry about that… And… Maybe she'll wanna talk in few hours…"
"Yeah…" Tommy rubbed his temples, "Yeah, okay…"
"Later, man…" Spiederman said before hanging up as he pulled up to a gas station not two miles from Tommy's house.
Jude, who'd been sitting with her knees pulled to her chest hidden by a drink machine, stood and got into the passenger's seat of his car, her make-up smeared down her cheeks. They sat in silence for the most of the ride before Spiederman couldn't take it anymore.
"Jude, what happened?" he asked in genuine concern.
She hesitated for a moment but couldn't hold back anymore.
"I embarrassed myself! I was stupid to ever think he loved me… And then I almost…" she trailed off as tears filled her eyes.
"Almost what?" he pushed.
"I almost slept with him, Spied! Okay?? "
"Oh…" Spied replied, not really knowing what to say, "…If it's not weird for me to ask… What happened? I mean, like… What stopped you?"
"He did… He said he couldn't… and when I asked why, he couldn't even give me a reason!" she said, now crying freely.
"What if he had a good reason and just couldn't think of how to say it..?" Spied tried, pulling up outside Jude's house which luckily was now Victoria-less.
"Thanks for going to get me…" she replied, wanting their conversation to end, "I'm tired… And I don't really feel like talking about it right now… But I'll see you later…"
He nodded, and with that, Jude got out and made her way up to the front door.
She stayed in her room the remainder of the afternoon, writing feverishly in her notebook, and then, after hours of working on the song she'd been writing, she decided to go to bed early. Tomorrow was definitely going to be interesting.