Byakuya's Bottom
By, pinoykengumi7
Disclaimer: Don't own Bleach.
Warning: This is hinting towards Byakuya x Rukia. If you do not like it, TURN BACK IMMEDIATELY.
Thanks to for suggesting this idea to me –grins- Sadly, my inspiration for random occurrences has flown out the window when school came. Hopefully I'll get it back…
Thank you to Moczo and everyone else for reviewing!
Moczo - Well, some people just don't like them together, or think that they can't work. Oh well. I'm here to change their minds :D
--Duckii Mustang
-
Rukia hated parties. Absolutely abhorred them. And she hated shopping too. Shopping for fancy dresses for fancy parties that she detested with a passion. Which was why she felt her temper rising as she stood in the middle of a women's clothing store with Ichigo, Renji and Byakuya.
"No, I will not allow her to wear such a skimpy outfit."
"Taichou, how in the fucking world is that skimpy?" Renji held up the dress to Rukia. "Look, it goes up to her ankles, and it has sleeves."
"The sleeves are not long enough."
"Not long enough?! At least they have sleeves! Would you prefer her wearing something like this?" A strapless, short dress was shoved in front of Byakuya's face.
"Renji, what the prick is means is that you have horrible sense of fashion—" Byakuya nodded in agreement, but a twitch of his eyelid showed he wasn't pleased about being addressed as a prick. "—and that someone as skilled as me should pick a dress for Rukia to wear to Chizuru's party." Byakuya choked.
"Why the hell does she have to go to that party anyway? Geez, I swear she's a freaking LESBIAN, for crying out loud. She's going to try and hit on Rukia!"
"Well, if you weren't so stupid, you'd understand that Rukia needs to keep up her disguise as a normal school girl."
"All right. STOP IT."
Rukia's peacemaking skills had appeared once again. Renji and Ichigo stared at each other. Viciously.
"Eh, where's Nii-sama?"
All three heads turned to the captain. And deadpanned. In one hand he held a kimono and in the other he held a matching obi.
"This would be nice to wear to your social gathering, Rukia." And he gave her a smile that sent Renji and Ichigo hacking their lungs out in shock from seeing The Kuchiki Byakuya give his adopted sister a tender look.
"Oi, you old fogey. This is a modern party she's attending here, not some traditional wedding." Byakuya gave Ichigo one of his 'you-do-not-scare-me-oh-pitiful-one' looks. But nevertheless, he put the kimono and obi back.
Five stores and many more bickers later, Rukia exclaimed, "Ah! I found one!" All three males turned.
Renji's reaction: Big smile - means he approves.
Ichigo's reaction: vein popping on forehead and eyebrow twitching – he is not at all impressed by her choice.
Byakuya's reaction: Flapping jaw – speechless. (At this point, the author was not sure whether Byakuya's mouth was opening of its own accord or because he had a sudden sporadic urge to imitate a goldfish. Or, it could also be because he disapproved of Rukia's choice or he was still processing the interpretation of Renji's smile, which he eventually deduced to a lecherous sort of smile. In any case, all that the author is trying to show is that he looked like a fish.)
"Very good!"
"No. Put it back."
"…" (Byakuya's input is highly valued.)
"I think it's fine! Rukia, your taste is great!"
"You, Renji, are a big, fat, idiot. Who in their right mind would go to a party with a Chappy the Rabbit dress?"
Rukia's fist started shaking. "I would!"
BAM!
And here we see Ichigo falling to the ground, having acquired a nice, big egg on his head, courtesy of Kuchiki Rukia of the 11th Division.
"And besides, according to the magazines I have been studying, this sort of clothing is at the peak of its sales." Rukia's eyes glinted.
Ichigo just watched his saliva drip out of his mouth from his sprawled out position on the floor, his head being pressed to the ground by Renji's foot.
Byakuya's mouth had finally stopped flapping. It seemed he had found his tongue. "No. It has no sleeves. We're going, Rukia. These morons have no sense of fashion."
"Oh, and this is coming from the one who is wearing hair curlers?" Renji's jab got the desired effect.
"Hair curlers?"
"Yes, hair curlers."
"These kenseikan are history and value and teachings all in one." Byakuya stuck his nose up in the air, miffed. "At least they are superior to your tattoos on your head. No matter what you try to put on your head, it doesn't change the fact that what is inside your head is nothing."
Renji gaped. How dare he mock his tattoos?
"Aw iegielk," said Ichigo, after having being able to use his mouth again. Renji had stepped off to close off the few steps between him and Byakuya.
"At least these tattoos make me look manly." It was an indirect hit, but a hit all the same, and Byakuya recognized it.
"Are you implying that I look feminine?"
"No, not at all." That sickly-sweet voice that Renji put on was almost as bad as Rukia's exemplary 'acting-at-school' skills.
"Though I must say, that Chappy shirt you have on now seems to compliment you quite well. After all, rabbits are cowards; always treading on others' ground because they can't get their own."
Renji's eyebrow twitched. "At least I don't wear a scarf. And trip over it."
Byakuya scowled.
"Gods, why out of all the people I have to be surrounded by, I have three idiots to go shopping with?" Rukia left the store in a huff.
"She left the dress," Ichigo pointed out. "I wonder what she's going to go to Chizuru's party in…"
The three men dispersed quickly, off to find clothing for the night's party, even though none of them were invited.
-
Byakuya stood at the door with Rukia.
"Nii-sama, tell me again why in the damned world did you dress up as a tree?"
"Well, don't cute rabbits look good next to trees?"
Rukia scowled, even though Byakuya couldn't see it underneath her full-length Chappy the Rabbit costume. After all of the trouble she had gone through shopping with the men, she had found a store that sold costumes. So did Byakuya, it seemed. Tree costumes.
"Strange, strange man."
"I'm not just any strange, strange man," Byakuya reminded her, almost in a pleading tone.
"Right. You're my adopted brother, dressed up as a tree." Rukia purposely ignored the message he was trying to get across.
The door opened and Chizuru immediately engulfed Rukia in a big, hearty hug. "It's so good to see you, Rukia-chan. It is Rukia-chan, right?" Rukia grunted. "And who is this… tree beside you? They look like they've got something up their backside." Byakuya coughed lightly. "Anyway, let's go in. Though I must say, some people are dressing up quite strangely tonight. I didn't say it was a costume party, but we seem to have acquired a strawberry, a tomato with tattoos and a head band, and as of now a tree and a rabbit."
The trio looked over to where there were two people dressed up in full strawberry and tomato costumes, fighting savagely.
"Why the hell did you dress up as a tomato? And what are with these tattoos?"
"What about you, you idiot? A pink strawberry?!"
"What the fuck do you think this is, a costume party?"
"Well, you obviously thought so, dressing up as a strawberry. And other people are dressed up too!" He gestured to the tree and the rabbit at in the foyer. "Hang on, is that…" he squinted, "Byakuya and Rukia?"
Ichigo and Renji deadpanned.
And from Seireitei, Hitsugaya Toushirou watched the group, a bored look on his face. He said only one word: "buffoons."
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Author's Notes
So much for updating on White Day. Anyway, I managed to get this done… And I got a whole bunch of school work, but thank goodness two weeks holidays in ANOTHER WEEK!!! Anyway, enough of my ranting.
As for Byakuya's kenseikan, I really can't remember what they symbolize. Sorry. I can't even remember if I got the right spelling... sorry ughhhhhh
Thanks for reading… Now review?
--Duckii Mustang