Chapter 7 – Hide and Seek
One week later…. Willacoochee, Georgia
Sleep and cry. Cry and sleep. That's all she'd done for the last seven days. Her routine was interrupted, sometimes, by morning sickness and she vaguely recalled being forced to eat from time to time. Her first night she'd spent hours staring at the picture, the ache in her chest building as she thought of him. It was like punishing herself – she'd let herself remember; the good moments, the bad moments and every one in between. By the time the sun had set in Willacoochee she was convinced she'd never feel happy again. It was like the color had been sucked out of the world and she was left existing in a grey haze.
J'Maw Maw had called up the stairs for her, telling her dinner was ready, but she hadn't answered; it was like she'd lost her voice. Eventually she heard the older woman making her way slowly up the stairs, entering Sam's room and sitting softly on the edge of the bed, placing a cool hand on Sam's forehead. She'd pretended to be asleep. She couldn't talk to J'Maw Maw right now – she couldn't talk to anyone. Her life was a mess, and she didn't have an answer for what to do about it.
She missed Freddie so much it was physically painful. Like a jagged hole had been ripped into the center of who she was, and every time she thought it might be healing, she'd think of him and the pain was fresh again; the jagged edges of her love for him now so damaged she didn't see a way they'd ever fit together again. Part of her wished he was here, wished she could bury her face in his chest and hear him tell her that everything would be alright. But she'd already told him she didn't need him. That he was free to follow his dreams; to live a life free from the responsibility of parenthood. She really didn't want to see him give up his future and everything he'd worked so hard for just so he could take care of her and a baby he didn't ask for.
She rolled over in her bed and faced the wall, curling into a ball as fresh tears slid down her already swollen face. Placing her hands on her stomach she felt the firmness of it – her body was changing already. She was eight weeks pregnant today. This thought only brought on fresh tears. She'd spent her limited hours of consciousness this past week murmuring apologies to the baby. She wasn't even sure if it could hear her yet, but she had a desperate need for the baby to know that she was sorry. Sorry that she'd ruined it's life before it had even taken a breath outside of her body. Sorry that she was all it had, sorry that she'd made such a mess of things.
The door to her room swung open and she shut her eyes, once again feigning sleep. All week the door would open and she'd hear her grandmother approach softly, sometimes wiping the hair from Sam's forehead, sometimes standing beside the bed and watching her, other time just setting a tray of food on the desk and exiting as quietly as she'd come in. The trays were barely touched. Sam wasn't sure if it was morning sickness or the breaking of her heart, but for the first time she could remember – she wasn't hungry.
Today her grandmother's feet were quick and determined across the room's hard wood floor. Walking resolutely toward the window Sam heard her as she yanked the drapes back and opened the blinds, filling the room with sunshine. Sam cringed at the intrusion of light. She liked the room dark; it matched the way she felt. She tried not to make any discernable moves, hoping that J'Maw Maw would leave and she could go back to the sweet relief of sleep. A blast of cool air drifted over her – great, she'd opened the window. J'Maw Maw's heavy footsteps were coming back toward her but instead of moving out the door, they stopped right beside the bed and she felt the blanket unceremoniously ripped from her.
"Alright… we both know you ain't asleep so get on up!" J'Maw Maw's voice had an edge. She wasn't angry, but she meant business. "I'm serious Sammy. Get your butt out of that bed!"
"I'm tired," Sam whined, trying to grab the blanket that J'Maw Maw was keeping well out of her reach.
"You're not tired. You're feeling sorry for yourself…there's a difference. Now you heard me Sammy. Up!"
"I don't feel good. I've been throwing up all morning."
"You're pregnant, Sammy. I doubt it was the first time you threw up and it sure as heck won't be the last." She stood by the opened blinds with her hands on her hips, "Plus, once you go into labor you'll be wishing for the days when your biggest problem was upchuckin' your Cheerios." She walked toward the door, throwing a glance back over her shoulder. "Breakfast is in ten minutes and I expect you to be there. Do not make me come back up here, Samantha."
Sam groaned and contemplated rolling over and going back to sleep but thought better of it. J'Maw Maw was as sweet as pie, unless you crossed her – then she was as dangerous as a hornets' nest. She sat up, putting her feet on the floor. Maybe J'Maw Maw had a point. She'd come here to start a new life and all she'd done so far was obsess over the life she'd left. She had bigger things to deal with. She might as well start now.
Freshly showered and dressed, she walked down the stairs for breakfast to join J'Maw Maw, who was on the phone. She paused on the steps, not wanting to interrupt what sounded like a heated conversation.
"She'll talk to you when she's ready!" J'Maw Maw said in a tense whisper, "No, she hasn't talked to me about it. And it doesn't really matter how we feel about the situation or if we agree with how she's choosing to handle it. This is her baby and her decision." She paused and sighed in frustration at whatever the person on the other end was saying, "The boy is the last of my worries right now. Maybe he's a good guy…doesn't really matter right now, does it? She's decided, for whatever reason, to walk away from him and we can't force her to do anything different. You know Sam. She'll have to do things in her own time. Now I have to get off this phone, she's on her way down now." She paused again, "I'm not gonna tell her to call you…I already told you, she'll talk when she's ready." Her voice softened, "I love you too, and next time you don't have to wait until your sister shows up here before you call your grandma!" She chuckled to herself and put the phone back in its place on the wall. Turning she smiled as Sam entered the kitchen.
"Well, the dead have arisen! It's a Thanksgiving miracle!"
Sam smiled in spite of herself. She couldn't stay mad at J'Maw Maw. "Yeah," she said walking to the table, "Some crazy old lady came in my room and woke me up. Don't suppose you know anything about that?" she said, sitting down at the small wooden table.
"You call it crazy, I call it persistent, either way it got you back among the living." She ruffled Sam's hair as she walked past, putting a platter of homemade biscuits at the center of the table, "Now come on, this food ain't gonna eat itself. Dig in!"
They spent the next hour in an easy conversation. Sam ate until she felt like she'd bust, filling up on biscuits and country ham with hash browns and eggs. She could barely keep from moaning in delight at how good everything tasted. J'Maw Maw laughed at the enthusiasm with which Sam ate and told stories about how she'd been the same way as a child. That led to a lengthy conversation about all the things Sam remembered from childhood. She felt herself smiling for the first time in a week. J'Maw Maw's eyes twinkled and she threw her head back, allowing the throaty laugh that Sam loved to fill the room. She made a fuss over Sam, filling her plate and her glass and reaching across the table periodically to squeeze her hand and tell her how happy she was that Sam was there. It was like being five years old again, and she wished she could stay in the moment forever. But, eventually the laughter slowed and the room grew silent and heavy with all the things they weren't talking about.
"So…" J'Maw Maw's face turned serious.
Sam panicked. It was time to talk…really talk, and she wasn't ready. She stood quickly, grabbing dishes from the table and taking them to the sink to start washing them. Anything to avoid this.
"Sammy, come sit here with me."
Her voice was shaking already and whether the hormones or the fear of what her grandmother was going to say, she felt tears building behind her eyes. "I'm just going to start these dishes for you J'Maw Maw."
"Sam…leave those dishes be and come sit down." Her voice left no room for argument. Sam obeyed and sat across from her, eyes down. "So, are you ready to talk?"
Sam sighed, "About…the baby?"
"We can start there."
"The doctor says I'm due in July. I'm eight weeks now."
"And…"
"And what? What else is there to say?" The older woman raised an eyebrow. Sam knew she wanted more, wanted to know how she was feeling. And even though she didn't trust herself to talk about it without completely breaking down, she knew that silence wasn't an option. "J'Maw Maw, what do you want me to say? Do you want me to tell you that I'm confused and scared and… not sure I'm making the right decision? Do you want me to tell you how ashamed I feel?" her voice broke as the tears began to flow, "Or maybe I should tell you about…about…him. About how I told him we didn't need him. Or how he doesn't want me…or this baby?" she felt on the verge of hysterics, "Because all of that is true! I've messed up everything, everything! And I have no idea how to fix it so I'm here and I'm having a baby and I can't…I can't stop crying. I can't stop hurting. And I just want it all to go away!" She lowered her head to the table, sobs shaking her shoulders. This was exactly what she didn't want to do. She didn't want to look at it. She'd tried to maintain an outsider's view of the whole thing, looking at it only when necessary and even then feeling like it was happening to someone else; scared to face it head on and admit, even to herself, that this was her life now. And there wasn't anything she could do to change it.
She heard a chair scrape against the floor and then felt soft hands running over her hair, soothing words being whispered in her ear. She cried in earnest then, the dam of emotion she'd held so tightly releasing and washing over her, threatening to sweep her away.
"Samantha, look at me." Sam raised her head to look into her grandmother's eyes. "You know me well enough to know that I'm not going to sugarcoat this for you. Having a baby at seventeen is hard, probably the hardest thing you'll ever do, but you are only as alone in this as you choose to be. I know you're scared and hurting and if I could take it all away for you I would, in a heartbeat. But the truth is that I can walk this road with you but I can't walk it for you. You may not believe this but there is a day on the other side of this situation where things will be easier, where you'll be happy again. But the only way to get there is by finding the strength inside you to walk through this hard place. You've had a bad time of it all of your life-I know that better than anyone. Your mama meant well but she let all of her anger and bitterness flow right over onto you, and now I look at you and hear you talk like her and it breaks my heart. You try so hard to look tough, but inside that shell," she tapped a finger to Sam's heart, "in here is a scared little girl who doesn't believe anyone could love her enough to stick around. Who's scared she's not worth the effort. But hear me when I tell you…you're worth it Sammy. There are people who love you and value you." She reached a hand to cup Sam's chin in her hand, "You are more worthy of love than anyone I've ever known… I only wish that you could see you the way that I do, honey."
"I just don't… I don't know how. I don't know how to trust people and I'm so scared that the baby will come and I won't be able to love it the way I should. That I'll be like Mom." She'd said it out loud. Her worst fear.
"Now you listen to me! You are not Pam! Your mama experienced a pain most people wouldn't understand and it nearly killed her. Loving somebody and watching them walk away is a hurtin' thing. When your daddy left she disappeared inside herself and I don't think she ever really came back out. But that doesn't have to be your story. Your mama isn't the way she is because of what happened to her, she's that way because of how she chose to deal with what happened to her. She turned all those feelings inside and let them eat her alive. We can't choose what knocks us down in life, but we can choose whether or not to get back up. You have a choice Samantha and that choice, not this situation, is what will determine your future."
Sam sat, quietly considering what J'Maw Maw had said. She had a choice. And there was a life depending on her to make the right one. She'd made a mess of things. She'd handled things all wrong with Freddie and she'd probably broken Carly's heart by leaving. She'd been rash and emotional and impulsive but hearing her grandmother's words she understood. There wasn't anything she could do about that. It was already done and as much as she wanted to, she couldn't spend her time thinking about the mistakes behind her. She had a world of choices in front of her, choices that required her to think, not of herself, but of the baby she was carrying. She could only hope that one day she'd have the chance to make things right.
She wiped her tears with the back of her hand, sighing as the weight of what was ahead of her began to sink in.
"So what now?" she said.
"Well," J'Maw Maw stood and walked to the counter, reaching into a drawer and pulling out a pad of paper. "First of all, you've gotta stop spending your days in that room feeling sorry for yourself. What's done is done but we've got a sweet little baby to get ready for." She looked at Sam, pencil poised. "So first things first…we need get you to a doctor."
"Do you have one in Willacoochee?"
"We're country – not medieval!" J'Maw Maw laughed.
They spent the next hour planning. J'Maw Maw had called Dr. Parsons and scheduled an appointment for the next day. They'd talked about her options for school. To Sam, starting a new school in the middle of the year AND pregnant wasn't an option so they'd agreed that she could look into going online. J'Maw Maw also said it wasn't healthy for her to just sit around the house all day.
"If you're gonna raise this baby alone then you're gonna be working pretty much the rest of your life. Might as well start now."
She said she had the perfect job for her, but wouldn't say what it was. Just that it paid peanuts but the experience would make it worth it. Sam was too tired to ask for details. Finally, their planning done, Sam started to feel better, more settled. The situation hadn't changed. Her heart still hurt. But as she placed her hands against her stomach she felt a small pride at the steps she was taking, however small, toward giving this baby – her baby—the best life she could.
"Now…" J'Maw Maw sat back and propped her feet on the table. "Tell me about this boy of yours."
"Freddie?" She hadn't said his name out loud since she'd left Seattle. Where she thought she'd feel anger, the word actually wrapped around her like a warm blanket.
"Freddie! That's it…he's that cute little thing with the beautiful smile."
"How do you know what he looks like?"
"You think my granddaughter can become some hot shot star on the internet and I wouldn't watch?"
"You watch iCarly?"
"A fair few times. I don't have the internet here but I watch it over at my friend Wanda's house. I have to say, as hard as you were on that boy, I always knew there was something between the two of you. Anyone could see it in the way he looked at you. Never saw two people fight like that since your granddad and I."
Sam shook her head, "Doesn't matter now I guess. We tried it and it didn't work."
"Yeah…I gathered that." She paused, choosing her words carefully. "Your sister called earlier." Sam's face was blank as J'Maw Maw continued, "she said he's pretty broken up about it…you leaving…and the baby. Your girlfriend too. You wanna tell me what happened?"
"It's…complicated, J'Maw Maw."
"Try me."
"We were already broken up when I found out…about the baby. I didn't know how to tell him and I…I didn't handle it very well. Neither did he. I just, I guess I just wanted to save him from having to deal with all of this. Freddie, he's like a genius or something. I mean, he could do anything he wanted to. He's not like me – his future is set and I just didn't want to take that from him. You know what I mean?"
"Well… no I don't. That's about the dumbest thing I ever heard. Did he tell you he didn't want to be a father to this child?"
"Yes…no…well, sort of. I guess. Maybe."
"I see … No, I don't see."
"I mean… when I told him he started yelling and he got angry and then he said it was crazy to think we could raise a baby at seventeen, then I told him we didn't need him and he just…he just stood there. And then he walked away."
"From what your sister tells me, you weren't the one to tell him about the baby."
She nodded her head.
"So, what you're telling me is that a seventeen year old boy, and lord only knows the level of stupid they can get to, heard his girl was trying to hide a pregnancy from him and had the nerve to get angry and scared? Wow…that's awful! And you mean to tell me that he didn't think raising a baby at seventeen was a good idea? Well hell's bells… no wonder you left him!" she said sarcastically.
Sam's cheeks flushed red. J'Maw Maw had just said the words she'd already thought at least once since she left Seattle. She'd been so scared when she found out she was pregnant that her stomach had stayed in a permanent knot for days. And as angry as she was for the way he'd just walked away from her she couldn't exactly say his reaction was irrational or uncommon. In short, she'd wanted Freddie to do what she couldn't – handle this like an adult.
The truth of what she'd done was rushing in on her. She'd left, abandoned the two people who loved her. She'd told him she was having his baby and then taken off to the other side of the country. She tried to keep telling herself that it was for the best; that she'd done what was necessary, but every time she did she saw his face in her head, so full of confusion and fear. He was just as terrified as her.
"I told you this was a mess," Sam said.
"You got that one right." She reached over to squeeze her hand. "But it's not a mess that can't be cleaned up. If this boy loves you, and according to your sister…it's a fair bet that he does, then there will be time to fix it. And if you love him there'll be room in your heart when the time is right. But right now you aren't the priority, and he's not the priority. What matters most right now is my great grandbaby. That's the first thing you have to learn about being a Mama, Sammy – there will never be anyone or anything more important than your babies."
There was some comfort in that. She and Freddie had a mountain of unresolved issues. She knew that part of the blame for that lay with her, and she hoped that one day she'd have a chance to tell him that. To tell him that she loved him, and that she'd been wrong. She hoped that one day she'd be able to tell him that she did need him. But right now there was someone who needed her. Someone she did not intend to let down.
Meanwhile…In Seattle
Sam had been gone for a week, and the pain had not lessened a bit for Freddie. Every night he spent thinking of her. Every night he dreamed of her in his arms and every morning he woke remembering that she was gone, trying to find a way to deal with the devastation she'd left in her wake. He had gone through the motions of going to school, but couldn't recall a single detail of what had happened there. All he saw in his mind, all he thought of, was her. Carrying his child. He had no idea where, and he had no idea if she was even safe. He couldn't eat, he barely slept and spent most of his waking hours alone in his room staring at pictures of her and hating himself for ruining everything.
Everyone had tried to help. His mom was being especially understanding. He'd see her looking at him and knew she wanted to talk, wanted to understand what was wrong with him, but so far she'd respected his wishes when he said the issue wasn't up for discussion. He'd withdrawn from the world. He wasn't even doing iCarly anymore. He told Carly that he just couldn't do it without Sam; it was too painful. He felt bad for it. Since Sam was gone, Freddie was basically all Carly had, and he'd deserted her too, but he couldn't help it. Looking at Carly made it impossible not to think about Sam. And seeing the hurt in Carly's eyes made his guilt palpable. Carly was hurting, Sam was missing, and he was helpless to do anything about it.
There was a soft knock on his door and he groaned in frustration. Probably his mom, digging for clues as to why he was depressed…again.
"Not now mom…I don't want to talk!"
His door opened to reveal Spencer, his face more serious that Freddie had ever seen it.
"Want to or not…we're talking Fredman."
"Oh," he said, shocked to see Spencer. He hadn't talked to him since Sam left. He's purposely been avoiding the man who'd become more of a brother to him. He knew how disappointed Spencer must be in him. To Spencer, Sam was like a sister, and because of Freddie he might never see her again. "Hey Spence, is Carly with you?"
"No, she went out shopping with Wendy. I sort of made her go. I'm worried about her. And I thought you might need some company. How're you holding up?"
Freddie turned around again. "I'm alright, I guess."
Spencer walked into the room and sat on the chair across from Freddie's bed, looking directly at him. He's never seen Freddie in this condition. His hair stood up at odd angles over his head...probably the result of having spent most of his spare time in bed. His clothes were rumpled and there was an unpleasant odor in the room that he could only assume came from Freddie.
"Hate to say it Freddo…but you don't look too good. As a matter of fact you look bad…real bad." Freddie flinched at Spencer's words; they were harsh but true. He was anything but all right. "So, do you wanna talk about it?"
Freddie didn't know where to begin. When Sam left last week he'd been hurt, then angry, and finally confused. Now he was just numb. "I still don't know what to say, Spencer. She's gone. No warning. NO explanation. Nothing. She didn't tell us where she was going, or who she was with. And she lied to me! She didn't tell me a thing. If I hadn't confronted her she might never have told me! And now my kid is out there, and I don't even know where!"
Spencer continued to sit, his face without expression. He understood what Freddie was saying, and on some level agreed with it. He hadn't approved of Sam's insistence on keeping her pregnancy from Freddie. On several occasions, he had come close to telling Freddie himself, but held back out of respect for Sam. If he had known Sam was going to skip town, and had it to do over, he probably would have taken the risk of telling him.
"Freddie, I'm as shocked as you are. I've been looking at Carly's face for a week now, seeing what she's going through. But I'm not entirely surprised. You know how Sam is. She doesn't trust anybody completely, and if you think this is a lot for you to deal with, think about what she's going through. She's carrying this child-it's growing every day inside her. Now I'm not a parent, but I can imagine how hard this has to be for her."
"She had no right! It's my child!" Freddie's face was turning darker shades of red. And suddenly, Spencer had enough.
"No right? She wasn't the one who threw Carly out of her own room so she could start screaming! She wasn't the one who carried on like a child whose toy had been taken away! And she might have been the one to leave town…but she wasn't the first one to walk away."
"That's not fair, Spencer!"
"Isn't it? You're so upset that she left with the baby. Why do you suddenly care so much?"
"It's my baby too, Spencer! She can't go raise it … alone! I have a right to be there, to see it born. To help her raise it!"
"Your right? You're worried about your rights? Freddie, you're still talking about this baby like it's your property! A baby is your responsibility!"
"I know that, but I can't be responsible if she won't let me, if she won't even give me a chance. She should know what a bad idea this is! We both grew up without our fathers. Why would she purposely make the baby…our baby, live the same nightmare. Maybe Sam doesn't want me…but the baby needs me!"
"Do you really believe that Sam doesn't need you?"
"That's what she said."
"That's not what I asked you Freddie. Do you believe that she doesn't need you?"
Freddie sat still, not answering. Spencer lowered his voice.
"Do you love her Freddie?"
"What?"
"I said, do you love her?"
"It doesn't matter Spencer. It's too late. I …."
"Do you love her!" Spencer's voice echoed in the room. Freddie had never seen him so serious.
"Yes, okay! Yes! I love her more today that I ever have. I love her so much that just thinking of her…saying her name, carves a hole into the center of my heart. I dream about her every night and every day when I wake up and she isn't here I just…." His voice was a whisper, "I just want to die." He sighed and looked up at Spencer. "Spencer, of course I love Sam. She's been a part of my life since I've been, what, five? I don't think a day has gone by for the past five years that I haven't seen her. Our breakup didn't even change that. Just when I find out that we are going to have a baby, that we're going to have this new and permanent bond, she disappears. Look, I miss her, Spence. I just want the chance to show her that I love her, and that I love and want this baby. I took the news badly, okay? Yeah, I thought about myself first, and I was wrong for that. I want to earn her forgiveness, and I'm not even going to get the chance!"
Spencer reached across the space between them and patted Freddie's shoulder.
"If you love her like that…then you should know that she needs you just as much as you need her." He paused before continuing, "Freddie, you're absolutely right that your and Sam's baby needs its father, but the reasons are all turned around. Nobody owes you anything. The baby needs you, but right now, it's your child's mother that needs you! Stop worrying about yourself, and start worrying about Sam! You can claim to love her until you're blue in the face. You have to show that you love her and right now I don't see that you've been doing that, Freddie. You're a mess. You don't go anywhere, you don't talk to anyone…and I'm pretty sure it's been a while since you had a shower. If Sam came back right now, right this minute...is this what you would want her to see? If she had the baby right now...is this the kind of father you want to be?"
Freddie shook his head in response, suddenly ashamed of what he'd allowed himself to become.
"So do something productive with these feelings, Freddie. Honestly, I know you love her. I've seen you together, and not just when you were dating. You're opposites, yet you manage to fit together so well. You almost have a yin-yang thing going on, reading each other's minds and completing each other's sentences. But she's not going to come back on her own. You have to convince her to come back. You have to convince her that you want to make a life with her—because you love her and not just because of the baby."
"How can I convince her when I can't even talk to her because I don't know where she is?"
"Freddie, there are surely ways. Nobody just drops off the face of the earth. You need to sit down and think instead of panicking – or sitting here feeling sorry for yourself. Carly and I will help you however we can."
Freddie sighed. "All right. Thanks, Spencer, not just for this, but for putting up with me for the last week. I'm biting everyone's head off when I'm really angry with myself, for losing my cool at the worst possible time. When Carly gets home, could you just let her know I'd like to see her, just to talk?"
"Of course. She's just as upset as you, you know?" He stood and Freddie stood too, giving each other a 'man hug'. "And you know I'm here if you need anything…unless it's to whine and moan," he said with a smile, opening the bedroom door to leave.
"Thanks Spencer, I appreciate it." A second later Spencer poked his head back in the room.
"Oh, and Freddie?"
"Yeah Spence?"
"Take a shower, will ya? You're starting to smell like the inside of an old safe."
Freddie laughed, heading toward the bathroom. Spencer was right…and not just about the shower.
Carly entered her apartment in a rush, her eyes scanning the room, rapidly wishing Spencer were there. She had big news. Huge news, and she really wanted to share it with someone. She'd spent the afternoon at the mall. Since Sam had left she'd tried to find ways to occupy her time. If she wasn't in constant motion she found herself, more often than not, obsessing over her friend. Wondering where she was, what she was doing, if she was okay. Going from seeing Sam every day to not seeing her at all was jarring, like she'd woken in an alternative universe and it convinced her of one thing: a world without Sam wasn't one she was happy to live in.
She missed Sam, that was a fact, but she also knew Sam well enough to know that wherever she was, she was there because she thought it was what was best. Sam could be selfish…very selfish. And she was often impulsive and stubborn, but Carly knew that Sam loved her and would never hurt her on purpose. Carly's main concern at the moment was the baby Sam was carrying. The baby was innocent in all of this and Carly worried that right now the baby's parents were so caught up in their own feelings and problems that the baby wasn't the priority it should be. And if she were to be honest, she had to admit that she was sad to be missing out on the baby's progress. Sitting in the doctor's office with Sam, hearing the baby's heartbeat for the first time, she knew that in many ways she'd already fallen in love with this child she'd never even seen. She'd been excited to think of seeing the baby for the first time, holding this tiny thing that was a perfect mixture of Sam and Freddie. Sam was like her sister so, in her mind, she was going to be an aunt. Now she didn't know when or if she'd ever get that chance.
But Carly wasn't a person who liked to wallow in sadness so she'd tried to find ways to occupy herself. Today she'd gone to the mall with Wendy after school. By now everyone at school had noticed that Sam was gone without a trace and the rumor mill was in full force. Some were saying that she'd gotten sent to juvie for attacking a hobo. Some were saying that she was on the run, hiding out from the police. And some were saying that she'd dropped out of school to be a roadie for Cuttlefish. Carly had no idea where people got this stuff, but she knew that as the self-proclaimed head of the Ridgeway Rumor Mill, Wendy probably only invited her to the mall to see if she could dig up any dirt on Sam. Carly had accepted the invitation, glad for an excuse to get out of the house. She knew that she'd never tell anyone Sam's secret, but over the course of the afternoon Wendy had tried every way she could to ask indirectly where Sam was. Finally, she just came out with it.
"So…Sam's been gone all week. Where'd she go?"
"She had to go out of town for a little while. She'll be back eventually." Cary prayed that she was right.
"You know what I heard? I heard she got herself knocked up." Wendy studied Carly's face for a reaction.
Carly called on every shred of self-control she possessed to make her face a mask of shock and annoyance instead of fear. "Pregnant? That's crazy! I'm her best friend, if she was pregnant I think I'd know." She laughed then, trying to throw Wendy off the scent. "I told you, she had to go out of town – no biggie."
"So who'd she go with? Was it like a family emergency or something?
"Yeah… a family emergency, that's exactly it." It wasn't a lie exactly. The baby was family and, to Sam, the need to leave had been an emergency. Carly would have been happy to leave it at that, but several more times this afternoon Wendy had brought Sam up, likely trying to see if Carly would have the same story or if she would contradict herself. And each time Carly had assured her again.
Sam was gone. No one knew when she was coming back. Family emergency.
It was during one of these reassurances that an idea struck Carly like lightning, and she'd apologized to Wendy, telling her she had to leave, and rushed back to her apartment as fast as she could. She smiled all the way home and wondered how she hadn't thought of it before. The first few days after Sam left, she and Freddie had racked their brains to come up with where Sam could have gone, but they had no answers. Pam had slammed the door in their faces and other than her they didn't know anyone Sam was really close too. It had been frustrating and sad. But now, thanks to Nosy Wendy and her inappropriate questions, Carly was hopeful for the first time in a week. She had stumbled onto the loose brick in Sam Puckett's wall of silence.
Melanie.
It hadn't even crossed her mind before. Sam wasn't exactly Melanie's biggest fan, so it stood to reason that she probably wouldn't tell her about the baby or where she was going. But Pam Puckett was a card carrying member, if not the president, of Melanie's fan club. If Sam was pregnant and skipping town, Melanie was likely the first person she'd call. The more she thought about it, the more convinced she was that this was exactly the break she and Freddie had been looking for. She only hoped she could drag him out of the funk he'd been in all week long enough to hear her news.
"Spencer!" she yelled into the quiet apartment, "Spencer where are you?" She whipped around at the sound of the door opening. "Spencer! Where have you been?" She ran at her brother and stood in front of him, hopping from one foot to another.
"Um…hey?" Spencer was scared. Perky Carly was difficult to deal with but 'I'm so excited I can't even stand still' Carly was usually indicative of a really bad plan getting ready to be put into action.
Carly started walking back and forth in front of Spencer, talking fast, her hands flitting like butterflies.
"So I was at the mall with Wendy and we were getting a pretzel…"
"At the pretzel place?"
"Yeah."
"Regular or cinnamon?"
"Cinnamon."
"Did you bring me one?"
"No Spencer, now shush! So we were talking and she was asking me where Sam was and she was all 'where's Sam' and I was all 'she had to go out of town' so she was all 'well I heard she was pregnant' and I was all 'OMG, Sam's not pregnant' and she was all 'then where is she' so I was like 'she's out of town' and Wendy was like 'family emergency?' so I said yes and she said okay and then I had the greatest idea ever and now I know how to find Sam and I am a freaking genius!"
Sam coming home was reason for excitement and suddenly Spencer was just as fidgety as Carly.
"So tell me your idea!"
"Melanie!"
"Sam's sister?"
"Exactly!"
Spencer looked at her with confusion. Sam hated Melanie, there was no way that any problem regarding Sam could be solved by her sister.
"So how is Melanie the answer to finding Sam?"
Carly was getting irritated at Spencer's inability to see the genius of her plan. "Ugh, Spencer!" she grabbed his hand and dragged him to sit on the sofa. "Sam's mom won't tell us where Sam is."
"Because she hates you and Freddie!"
"Right, but there is one person in the world that she really doesn't hate. And it's a pretty safe bet that if there's anyone in the world that she did tell where Sam went it would be…."
Spencer's eyes lit up as he realized where she was going with this. "Melanie!"
"Yes!"
"You are a genius!"
"I know, right? So all I have to do is call Melanie, get her to tell me where Sam is, go find her and…"
"Bring her home!"
"Yes!" Carly stood and headed for the door, "Now let's go get Freddie and tell him the plan." She paused at the door when she saw that Spencer wasn't following her. "Well? Aren't you coming?"
"Yeah Carly…about that. I don't think it's a good idea to tell Freddie just yet."
"What do you mean? Of course it's a good idea to tell him! We have to tell him! Why wouldn't we tell him?" She was back to 'can't stay put' Carly.
"I just talked to him this afternoon and he was really a mess Carls."
"But he'll be fine once we find Sam."
"That's exactly it Carly…he'll be fine once you find Sam. But if you go get him now and get his hopes up and then you call Melanie and she doesn't tell you where Sam is – it's gonna kill him." Carly came and plopped down on the sofa beside Spencer, deflated. She knew he was right and the last thing she wanted to do was hurt Freddie, but she just missed Sam so much and she knew that Freddie did too.
"I just… I just want to fix this mess Spencer."
He reached over and patted her knee "I know you do kid. And I think contacting Melanie is a great idea. I really, really hope that she will help find Sam. But you have to understand. Freddie and Sam…they're having a baby now. That's a big responsibility and if they're ever going to be able to handle it, they're going to have to learn to fix their own messes. You can help, and you can be there for them but things with them will never get better if you're the one coming to their rescue. This time, they're gonna have to rescue themselves."
"So what do I do now?" Carly asked.
"Call Melanie, see if you can find out where Sam is, and then we help Freddie figure out how to get her home."
"But what if they mess it up?"
"It's Sam and Freddie…of course they'll mess it up!" he laughed as Carly groaned and put her face in her hands, "but when it's all said and done they'll do the right thing."
'God I hope he's right' she thought as she picked up her phone and searched for Melanie's number in her contacts. Her heart was racing as she dialed the number and a perky voice answered on the other end.
"Melanie? It's Carly. Listen…. I need a favor."