Hey guys :D here's the next chapter for you my sweet little muffins. I literally had to force myself to sit down and finish this chapter today at the cost of missing the Super Bowl because this boy's got some mad procrastination issues :/ but I love you all so it's alright. Enjoy!
TMNT
Mikey stood, and practically pranced over to his sibling, narrowly missing Luther who jumped a little too late to try and stop him with small, "Michael, don't-!"
"Haven't seen ya in a while!" Mikey slurred. He slung his arms around his brother, and pressed his face to the taller's chest. Raph's brows pinched together in suspicious worry. "I missed you." Mikey hummed happily.
"Are you drunk?" Raphael stated more than asked in disbelief.
He didn't get an answer, but his arms found themselves wrapped protectively around the younger. Subconsciously, he began looking the other over for injuries or signs of mistreatment. Other than his obvious intoxication, he appeared perfectly fine, and Raph felt himself relax into their hug, letting out a relieved sigh as he nuzzled his cheek into soft blonde hair.
Then he remembered the third party of the reunion. Raphael's attention was drawn back up to Luther in the form of a searing glare. Leatherhead returned it with just as much heat. Luther was just barely keeping himself from ripping Mikey from the red head's arms and unleashing his rage on the offender, but he held back for Mikey's sake.
Raphael took notice to this. If Leatherhead was going to attack him, then he would have done it. By the look of it the guy wanted to filet him over a fire, but he was holding back, Raph could only assume it was because of Mikey. So, hesitantly, he took his eyes away from the Gang Lord to give his little brother the attention he needed.
"You've been drinking? You're only sixteen years old!" Raph scolded the younger, surprised at how gentle he sounded as he held Mikey's shoulders away at arms length.
"Almost seventeen, Raph. And I seen you drunk more than one time when you were sixteen." Mikey closed his eyes and leaned forward into his big brother's hold.
"Like the time you got mad at me after a few too many shots and kicked me in the stomach." He said with a big grin and a small laugh. "Maaan, that hurt!"
Luther could feel his blood sizzling in his veins.
Raphael looked at him with wide, sad eyes. His arms went weak and he allowed the blonde to fall into his broad chest.
He remembered that night a little too well. How he had shouted at his baby brother, and kicked him a few times. He didn't mean to, his anger just got the best of him. And it was for one of the dumbest things. Mikey didn't deserve that. He had never deserved the way he had been treated, and it took a journal of written -and drawn out- self hatred and deprecation for him to see that.
He hugged Mikey tightly. One hand tangled in his hair while the other wrapped around his upper back, keeping him close.
He'd done so much shit to Mikey in the past. So much that he couldn't make up for even if he tried all his life -which he was fully intent on doing. And, knowing now how the younger felt about him, it was more painful to think about.
Raph had teased him all his life, gotten angry with him for pointless reasons, pushed him off the roof of their house, almost bashed his skull in with a crowbar, and so much worse through the years. And it made it all even more tragic when that one journal entry came to mind. The one that had particularly stuck with him after his read.
It had been ten years ago, when Mikey was six and Raph was seven. They'd all been playing flashlight hide and seek outside one night and Mikey had wandered off too far into the woods behind their house.
After Donnie had found Leo and Raph, they all searched for Mikey for half an hour. By that point they had gotten worried, and split up to find him. Leo checked the front yard while Raph checked the back. Donnie went inside to see if the youngest had given up and called it a quits for the night. They all called his name but he never answered.
Raphael was about to stop looking and go see how the other two were doing when a distant yelp of what sounded like a frightened Mikey caught his attention. He turned toward the woods, and -without thinking- started a mad dash into the trails.
"Mikey!" The little ginger shouted. "Mikey, where are you?!"
"RAPHAEL!" The seven year old heard, and he raced faster in that direction.
"HELP!" The shrill cry sent him into a panic as he forced his legs to go even faster.
"Hang on, little guy! I'm almost there!" It was only a few seconds but it felt like minutes too long until he stopped at a moonlit clearing. Raph froze still as he laid emerald green eyes on the scrawny dog that growled viciously, backing little Mikey into a corner of large rocks. The blonde was petrified. His only movements were his uncontrollable shaking and his quick winded breaths. The dog moved forward slowly, lips curling up to show it's razor jaws in a blood thirsty snarl. Mikey's tear filled blue eyes caught his big brother in the tree line and he squealed out.
"Raph...help..." The dog took the sudden plea as an opening and sprung forward, sinking it's teeth into Mikey's leg.
A loud, ear piercing cry burst from the six year old, knocking Raph back into action. The red head picked up a few rocks and started chucking them at the dog. Each hit was followed by a yelp as the dog unattached itself from Mikey's wounded calf. The brown stray hurried away from the clearing, tail between it's legs in fear.
As soon as it was a safe enough distance away Raph ran to his baby brother, who immediately clung onto him desperately. Tears fell freely down Mikey's pale face as he clutched his brother's shirt and buried his face in it.
"You alright?" The older asked carefully. Mikey shook his head yes.
Raph remembered distinctly thinking 'No you're not.' He supposed Mikey had always been like that. Denying anything to indicate he wasn't exactly a hundred and ten percent.
"Can you walk?"
"I-I think so..." He stuttered out.
Raph eyed Mikey's bloody leg skeptically and bit his lip as he stood and pulled his brother to his feet. He helped Mikey keep his balance and let go of his arms to see if he could stand on his own.
The younger stumbled and tripped, falling into the older's out-stretched arms before he could hit the ground. Raphael huffed a worried sigh.
"We've got'ta get you home." He stated urgently.
He crouched down on the ground, looking back over his shoulder to tell Mikey to hop on. Then, with as much caution as he could muster, he lifted Mikey up and began running back toward the house. It felt like an eternity for the two before they were heading up the hill to the back door. Raphael carried his baby brother up onto the back porch, and, for a seven year old, he sure could kick in a door.
He ran into the kitchen and sat Mikey down on one of the chairs before running to his father's bedroom door.
"Dad!" He yelled as he stopped in the doorway, heaving deep breaths of exertion. His dad and Donnie both looked up at him in worry at the red head's panic. "Mikey's hurt! He needs help!"
Splinter hurriedly stood from the bed and made his way to the kitchen, followed closely by his two sons. Mikey curled his fingers around the cloth of his shorts as Splinter sat down to inspect the injury.
"Raphael, get him a wet cloth and a cup of ice. Donatello, go fetch your brother from the yard." Splinter ordered.
Both children did as they were told. Raph wetting a towel from the kitchen and getting some ice from the freezer while Donnie went to fling the front door open to call in Leo.
"My son, can you remember what did this?" Their father asked, pulling up a chair and taking a seat before propping the youngest's bloody leg up on his lap.
"D-dog." He sobbed out, trying to stop himself from crying.
Leo and Donnie ran into the kitchen as Raph sat the towel and cup of ice on the table. Splinter took the damp dish towel and started dabbing the blood away from the wound, which Mikey responded to with a hiss.
"You okay, Mikey?" Leo asked, petting back his brother's blonde bangs from his flushed, tear stained face. Mikey gnawed on his lower lip and gripped tightly onto the edges of the chair he sat on, trying to hold in a yipe of pain. But he nodded his head to try and put his brother's nerves at ease.
"It will not need stitches, but we'll have to clean and wrap it quickly before it gets infected." Splinter informed, looking seriously up at his sons. "Leonardo, there should be some gaws and alcohol in the upstairs bathroom. Raphael, go find pain killers in the medicine cabinet." The oldest siblings nodded and ran off to do their jobs.
"What should I do?" Donnie asked, wanting to do something to help his only little sibling.
"You should stay here and help your brother through this." Their father suggested.
Not knowing what else could be done, Donnie pulled up a chair by his injured little brother and grabbed hold of his hand reassuringly. It must have felt awful just watching and not being able to do anything. That's probably the reason why shortly after that night Donnie took up a strong interest in medical books on medications and treating of wounds.
They were too young to know then -or wonder why their father was still so worried about it for weeks afterwards- but they didn't know if that dog had rabies or not. It didn't, because Mikey never showed any symptoms.
But if it had...
The process of cleaning the wound was a hard one for Mikey. The raw burn of alcohol on an open wound is never fun for anyone, no matter how old you are. He let out a screech as the searing liquid was poured into the bite mark, which made him start crying again. After he was sure the wound was clean enough -and was safe from infection- Splinter took the gaws from Leo and began wrapping his youngest son's leg. Then he dumped the slightly melted ice into the towel and handed it to Mikey to hold against the injury.
Then their dad had carried the baby of the family up to his room to put him to bed.
That's where the journal entry ended, but Raph remembered that night just as well.
He had stayed in Mikey's room to make sure he would be alright. His hand held tight onto the younger's under the blanket as he lay on his side, facing the sleeping blonde. Mikey snored lightly, and turned from his back onto his side, coming face to face with his brother. He whined in his sleep at the shift of his new injury, and cuddled down into his pillow. His arms drew up closer to his chest, bringing Raphael's interlocked hand with him. Then he sighed in comfort and smiled brightly at whatever good dream he was having.
Raph watched him closely, thinking that -at any second- he would wake up in tears, or would need something.
The light of the moon shown through the window, illuminating the younger's freckled face and everything else around them.
Mikey looked like the most innocent thing that had ever been forced to live down on this undeserving earth. But Raph brushed that off as the sleepiness talking. With his right hand, he reached up and brushed a few strands of hair back from Mikey's closed eyes.
He could've stopped this from happening. If he hadn't frozen up when Mikey needed him then he could have scared the dog away before any damage was done. But he didn't, and now Mikey was paying for it. His left hand gently tightened around his brother's as he whispered out.
"Don't worry, Mikey...I won't let anything hurt you ever again." He mumbled, emerald green eyes drifting closed, threatening to fall asleep. "...I promise..." Then he let his eyes fall closed.
To this day Mikey was still a cat person. But the memory reminded him of that promise he had made all those years ago.
Not only did he break his promise, but he had allowed himself to be the thing that hurt his little brother.
Knowing that only made him fell sick, and disgusted with himself. How could he be such a douche to the one person in the world that loved him more than anything else? How could he stand back and watch that person unravel at the seems and fall apart like this? How could he stand there and watch as this continued?
He couldn't. That's why he was taking his brother home now.
"Mikey, I am so sorry. About everything. Every stupid, awful thing I have ever done to you. You never asked to be treated like shit, and you sure as hell didn't deserve it." Raphael apologized into his brother's messy blonde locks.
He wasn't sure what was happening. His body was taking on a gentleness when handling the younger that he wasn't accustom to.
"I'm going to take you home now, okay?" He said, tone heavy with a tenderness he didn't think he'd ever spoken with before, and he'd almost shocked himself by it.
Luther, remaining on the sidelines as an invested observer, began to almost panic at this. Of course he was here to take Mikey back. And with how homesick he'd been as of late, Mikey was likely going to go with him.
An uncomfortable tightness formed in Luther's chest and he grimaced at the thought, but kept it to himself. If Mikey wanted to go, he'd let him. It was his decision. And why would he choose to stay now that his family wanted him back?
He was preparing himself for the worst, but...
"I.." Mikey muttered, pushing back away from his brother's embrace. "I-I..I can't." He staggered back.
The two older men looked on in a moment of stunned quiet. Had he just said what they thought he did? Luther's heart fluttered with hope as Raph's plummeted into his stomach.
"Him...L-Luther.." Mikey said, pointing at the tall raven behind him. "He loves me, dude... I can't leave him all alone."
He paused than threw his arms up, then down to his sides again in frustration.
"You don't know what it's like to-to love someone... who you can't have.. 'cause it's wrong and... shit..." He spoke slowly, trying to put his tipsy thoughts into coherent sentences. "You just don't know!"
"But, Mike, we love you; your family. And we miss you so much it's driving us crazy. Please... please come home?" Raph argued.
"Aww." Mikey cooed. "I miss you guys too."
"Than come beck to us." The red head insisted, grabbing Mikey's thin wrists. "Come back to me?"
Luther's hope was very quickly overshadowed by rage. What was this tactic his brother was using? Did he know about Michael's affections for him? Was he using it to his own sick advantage?
It was a disgusting low -to use someone's feelings for you against them for your own gain- even for a crazed maniac like the Nightwatcher. It was a despicable display.
Raph didn't know where it had come from. He'd just blurted it out on pure instinct. Either way, there was no taking it back now, and Raph wasn't sure he even wanted to go back on his implications.
At his words Mikey's eyes widened a little as his lip started to quiver. His body began to tremble as he weakly tried retracting his hands from his brother's grip.
"No..." He stammered quietly. "No. No. No. No. No. No. No. This isn't right."
His knees buckled and he fell to the floor.
"Michael!" Luther startled at his collapse, taking a worried step forward, before thinking better of it and stopping still again.
If he rushed in too close, The Nightwatcher would react, and that would lead to a fight. He didn't want to involve Mikey in that sort of mess. He resigned himself to staying where he stood.
Surprised at Mikey's fall, Raphael released his grip on his arms and watched helplessly as his baby brother balled his hands into fists that pulled at his hair, like something was clawing it's way out of his skull.
"I'm stupid! So stupid. It's wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!"
Both hearts of the two men watching him clenched simultaneously. It hurt something terrible to see a loved one fall apart like that.
Luther moved from his spot this time, but not toward Mikey. Instead, he made way for the door, sneaking around the two of them silently.
"Whoa, hey. No. No, no, no..." Raph chastised with a calming voice, coming down to his knees in front of his little brother.
He pried Mikey's hands away from his head to make him stop tugging at his hair.
"Don't say shit like that. You're fine. You're perfectly fine. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. You're alright." He said as he brushed aside the wayward bangs from his brother's face.
Mikey looked up, summer blue meeting emerald green. Then his tears spilled over, and he leaned forward to cry into Raphael's shoulder.
"It's alright." The red head soothed, arms coming to rest on Mikey's small, shivering back. "Come on. Let's go home."
Unacceptable. Luther couldn't believe what he was seeing. It seemed like Raphael was appealing to Mikey in the false pretense that his one sided love was being accepted, maybe even reciprocated. Once the night was done and later, once the Nightwatcher had his sibling back, would he keep up his act? Keep using Michael's unrequited feelings for him as leverage, or would he drop them all together and crush his poor spirit in the process?
He would do neither. Luther wouldn't give him the chance.
"Absolutely not." A deep gravely voice demanded. "Michael, come here." His tone carried a sharpness to it that held no room for disagreement.
Mikey sniffled, forcing himself to suck it up. He pulled himself from his brother's arms and looked up at him with red rimmed eyes.
"Sorry, man." He said, sniffing again and whipping his tears with his sleeve as he stood from the floor. "I can't. You told me to leave... This is what you wanted."
Raphael couldn't move. He felt like his blood had run cold. It might as well have, because he'd been frozen stiff with grief at his brother's words.
Mikey stepped around him, and made his way to the door where Luther stood waiting for him. Raph found himself briefly wondering when the other had mover there, before his lost train of thought combusted with annoyance.
Leatherhead welcomed Mikey back at his side with open arms, whispering to the other with a kiss to his temple.
"Go out to the bike. I'll be there in a second."
The command sent a wave of anger through Raph's veins.
Mikey nodded, and went to do as he was told. However, he hesitated when Raphael stood from the floor and brought up the necessary strength he needed to be a little rough with the younger. Mikey could be as mad at him as he wanted, but there was no way in hell Raph was going to let him go without a fight.
"No, Mikey! Stay here." He growled, watching Leatherhead with a heated glare.
The blond stopped, looking back and forth skittishly between the two older men.
"Go downstairs, Michael. You might get hurt up here." Luther said worriedly, like a father telling his child to leave the room while the parents were fighting. "Go on. I'm right behind you."
"Mikey, don't listen to him! He wants to take you away from us!" Raphael argued, holding out his hand to beckon Mikey back over to him. "I'm sorry for what I did! I meant it at the time, but I regret every word I said to you! If I could do that night over I... I wouldn't have... Just come with me. I'll take you back home, and we can fix this!"
Mikey bit the inside of his cheek and took a hesitant step towards Raph.
"Michael, wait." Luther urged, placing a hand on Mikey's shoulder to try and talk him out of it. If he really wanted to go home then he wouldn't stop him, but he wanted to be absolutely sure this was what Mikey wanted before letting him go.
"Do you really want to go back to that family? I know you love them, and I'm sure they mean to make this right, but what if it happens again? I don't want that for you. I don't want to watch you hurt again because of them."
Raphael was boiling over at that point. Temper reaching new heightened levels over the blatant insulting nature of doubt the man was filling his baby brother's head with about his family's love for him. It was one time, and it wasn't their whole family! It was all Raphael's fault this all happened. Him and his stupid pride, but their brothers' love for Mikey shouldn't be questioned because of his mistake. That was on Raph, not them.
"Don't talk shit on our family, asshole!" Raph shouted.
Luther ignored him, carrying on with his speech while pointing at Raph along the way. "Just think about this for a second. Do you really want to go back to that house? Back to him?"
And the more Luther thought about it, the more angry he grew. His bipolar shift was kicking in. Suddenly he wasn't so sure he could let Mikey go, even if he wanted to. Not when he would be heading back into that dysfunctional mess. And the angrier he got, the louder and more insulting he became. He looked the Nightwatcher in the eyes and they held each other's stare.
"Your beloved big brother who chewed you up then spit you out like dirt? Are you willing to put up with that again?"
"You fuckin' piece of-" Raph started, lunging forward to strike out at the man.
"Stop it!" Michelangelo yelled, blocking his brother from landing a hit, and pushing him back a few steps. He was starting to get his soberness back, and his thoughts were running more clearly. "If you could both shut up for five seconds, that would be great!"
Mikey heaved an exasperated sigh. The voices that had been shooting at each other before still blaring in his head painfully as he rubbed one of his temples.
"Mikey-"
"Raph, I'm sorry, but I can't go with you. I'll come back home when I'm ready, but, until then, I'm staying with Luther."
A sense of finality was etched into Mikey's freckled face as he turned to leave his brother behind, but Raphael wasn't done.
He snagged Mikey back around by the arm and firmly held him in place by the shoulders. Luther tensed, watching across the room as the short tempered redhead man-handled his little Michael. But he kept himself under control, not wanting to be forced to hide a body that night. Or console a devastated Michelangelo afterword for the loss of his brother.
"What are you even saying?" Raphael breathed in a wounded tone. "Do you know how worried the guys are about you? How worried I am?"
"Whatever." Mikey laughed humorlessly, smacking Raph's left hand away from his shoulder. "I can understand that Leo and Don are a bit stressed though. Tell them I'll be back as soon as I can."
"What do you mean 'as soon as you can'? Just come back now! What's holding you back?" Raph asked, holding on tighter to his little brother with his right hand.
Mikey glared up at him like he had crossed the line into uncharted territory. Now there was no escaping the storm that came thundering in, giving his sky blue eyes a tint of deep lying anger.
"You've beaten me. You've insulted me. You've hurt me in ways that I find hard to describe with mere words. But I forgave you. Everything you've ever done to me I've forgiven, but I can never forget all of the crap you've put me through." He sneered up at the older.
Raphael was speechless.
"I just need a break. A week or two with someone who doesn't think I'm stupid, or worthless, or annoying. Someone who knows me, and actually likes having me around. And here you come, stomping in, trying to take all that away from me!"
Mikey was shouting now, throwing up his hands and stepping back away from the older. "Luther's right, man. I just can't be around you right now."
The red masked teen watched, stuck in place as his baby brother walked away from him to stand beside his gang lord.
There was nothing he could have really done to stop it. What was he supposed to do, take him back by force? Usually, for Raphael, that would be the first choice, but he couldn't get himself to do it. He felt like he was obligated to give Mikey some space because, after all this, he did deserve it.
Mikey had always been the one to hold them all together. When Leo would train too hard Mikey would distract him or make him take a break with video games or something. When Donnie would work on a project for too long Mikey would force him to come up and eat, or go to bed. And when Raph was in a bad mood, or just needed someone to talk to, Mikey was always there for him. And all the youngest ever got in return was criticism.
Raphael watched as the two left together. Luther turned his head to glare at him viciously as he slid his arm around Mikey's lower back. The action made Raphael's blood sizzle with rage, barely being able to keep himself from chasing after them and ripping that arm from it's socket.
They shut the door behind them and he waited for a few minutes to be sure that they were gone. He didn't need the notorious Leatherhead sending some goons after him for trailing them. But he would get his brother back. He had to before he was sucked into the world of the underground gang chains. That type of business only leads a kid like that to a bullet in the head, and Raphael wasn't about to let that happen. Not on his life.
~.:(tmnt):.~
Mikey and Luther walked out of the room, leaving Raph behind as they went. Luther guided the younger down the stairs with his arm around Mikey's back, making sure he wouldn't fall because -while he could think straight- he was still a little dizzy.
Mikey guessed Raph had opted to waiting for the two of them to leave before heading out himself. The last thing they needed was an indecisive older brother following them around the city all night. To be honest, Mikey was surprised Raph wasn't tracking them to their house at that very moment, because god knows he's persistent enough to try it. He doesn't know when to give up.
But it felt so good to see his face again. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed him until now. How desperately he wanted to be around him again and hear his voice. Though Mikey did stand by his word. He couldn't be around Raph right now. He was trying to kill those feelings, not fuel them to life.
He can't say he wasn't happy to see him, though. Raphael had actually seemed concerned about him.
That in itself had been hard to come to terms with. Of course, Mikey knew Raph would be worried. Just as worried as Leo, or Donnie. But seeing such concern so openly displayed, that's what had gotten to him. Raph rarely ever wears his emotions on his sleeve unless its some form or variation of anger.
His behavior was completely off. Mikey couldn't remember him ever acting so uncharacteristic before, without him being severely offset by something.
Then another thought rose to the forefront of Mikey's attention.
'Why was he there?'
There were about a million other bars out there to choose from. What were the odds that Raph would walk into that one and just happen to head upstairs to find him?
Mikey brushed it off as coincidence as they walked out the doors of the bar and around to the alley where they'd left the bike.
Raphael's red Daytona 675 was parked just ahead of theirs, and Mikey could feel a hint of sorrow at turning his brother down. He had been on his knees, begging for Mikey to come back.
'But he was begging for his baby brother,' Mikey thought bitterly. 'and, until I can shape myself into something fitting of the brother he wants, I can't go back to that house.'
Still, Mikey found himself reaching out his hand, letting his fingers skim the black material of the Raph's seat as they passed his bike. He felt a throb of something distasteful flaring up at the feel of it. He missed his family.
Luther watched as the small blond next to him sadly ran his fingers over the seat of the hot rod red bike as they walked by. He wanted to go back to his family. He missed them dearly and missed Raphael even more. Luther knew Mikey would eventually want to go home. Nothing as wonderful as they had could ever last. Especially with the kind of monster Luther was.
Hell, the entire time they just sat in the bar having a reunion with his brother, all Luther could think about were the various ways to kill the redhead. What could be more unstable than that?
Mikey sat in front of Luther on the ride home; the older worried that Mikey would fall off if he let him ride in the back. The alcohol had run it's course for the most part, but Mikey still seemed a bit dizzy, and -what with the added stress of the situation they'd just escaped- Luther didn't want to leave the blonde's safety in his own ability to hold himself up on the bike on their way to the house.
The whole way back Mikey leaned back against his friend for support; lost in his scrambled thoughts.
He was determined to get rid of his wretched emotions and return to his family as something worthy of their time and attention. He loved them all with all his heart, and believed they deserved better than what they were saddled with. So, until he was fixed, he couldn't face them. That's what he'd decided.
Luther was helping. A lot more than he knew, to be honest. He was patient, and understanding, and kind and sweet.
He put everything into prospective. For example, where Mikey saw something world shattering, like his feelings for his brother, Luther saw something normal and easily explainable with psychology, statistics, and logic. Where Mikey saw something disgusting and worthless, Luther saw a perfect boy who just had some things he needed to figure out.
He was slowly putting Mikey back together, piece by tiny piece, with his gentleness and compassionate nurturing. And Mikey found himself only wanting more.
He craved affection, like a hard addict for his next hit.
It had taken a while to get used to. This kind of loving had never been expressed to him before, and -at first- he didn't know how to handle it, nor was he really sure he even deserved it. But now that he'd had a taste of real, true adoration and devotion from someone, he couldn't get enough of it. He tried to look back at himself from just a month ago, but couldn't remember how it felt to live without feeling loved like he did now. And he wasn't sure he could live without it now that he had it.
Luther's support was Mikey's crutch, and every day he could feel himself falling even harder for him. And, while that was helping, and served as a wonderful distraction, Mikey found his emotional disposition for Raph hadn't changed.
What if they never faded? Mikey wasn't sure what he would do if that were the case.
When they got home Luther opened the door and chuckled fondly as Mikey slouched in a bee line straight to bed. He snickered even more as he watched him groan and throw the blankets back, kicking off his orange converse, and taking off his mask, so he could curl up into the mattress. Once Luther removed his jacket, boots and jeans, he went to lay down with his sleepy head boyfriend.
They curled into each other as they lay under their blankets. Mikey tucked his mop of blonde hair up under Luther's chin with his arms wedged between their chests comfortably. Luther had one of Mikey's legs trapped between his, arms wrapped around the younger's smaller frame like a protective shield from the rest of the world.
It wasn't long before Mikey had completely relaxed into the safety of his hold and began to drift off to sleep. He was just bordering on the line of awake and asleep when Luther's arms tightened around him, pulling Mikey closer against him.
They laid there like that until Luther was almost certain Mikey was asleep. Almost. His breaths were calm and even, and he looked so peaceful laying so still.
And it only made Luther feel that much worse about keeping such a huge part of himself from him. Mikey had said he wanted to know everything about him, but Luther was so scared to let him in.
The main issue being his lead in the Purple Dragons being the first that needed to come out. He wasn't sure how Mikey would react in knowing what all the wrong Luther had done in his life.
He had done so many unspeakable things in the name of the Purple Dragons. He would never be rid of the bloodshed caused by his hands and he believed he deserved to live with that guilt. The weight of the murder and gore he'd brought to their city would forever remain on his shoulders and he was fine with that. It is the price he had to pay for his inhumane temper.
Though, it hadn't been acting up as much lately.
He knew Michael was the cause of his long term state of calmness. Ever since that night they met in that alley Luther's bursts of uncontrollable rage had dwindled down from a few a day to a few a month. Mikey made him feel at peace, and no one had ever given him such a gift before. Luther had never been so attached to someone in all his life, and he didn't want to be separated from Mikey. Now or ever.
Which is why he was so afraid of telling him more about himself. He didn't want to chase him away.
Mikey was too tired to react to this change in hold, but he kept himself awake enough to hear the other let out a quiet, haggard plea.
"Don't leave me?"
'He thinks I'm asleep.' Mikey thought, and kept listening to his friend's words of desperation.
"I know a monstrosity like me is undeserving of something as extraordinarily beautiful as you are.." Luther paused; taking a moment to gather his words. "..but if you go back to them...and I don't see you again... I don't know if I could handle that..."
He placed a chaste kiss to the crown of Mikey's head and kept his face buried in the soft, messy locks of wayward blonde hair.
"I've lost everything, Michael."
He took in a shaky breath. Memories of his orphanage friends came to mind. The other mutated children that watched over him. Then the faces of his family. Luther had only been two when they all died, but he could still faintly remember the faces of his mother and older brother. Their kind bright eyes that shone with all the love they had for him in their hearts.
"I can't lose you too."
Mikey, absolutely drained as he was, built up enough energy to move and tilted his face up, nuzzling the tip of his nose against the other's cheek.
Luther tensed up slightly at finding out that he had just openly confessed his deepest concern to a very awake Mikey. Or at least a Mikey who was slightly more awake than he'd originally thought.
The blonde let himself relax again in his new position, lips brushing against Luther's jaw as he hummed sleepily.
"I'm not going anywhere."
He'd said it, leaving no room for argument. And he meant it. He felt like no one in the world could ever hope to do anything to keep them apart. And that's just what Luther needed to hear.
Luther allowed himself to relax again, body slumping back around Mikey with the release of a heavy, content exhale.
"Good. I'd miss you too much." It was said calmly and happily as he fell asleep, a soft smile remaining across his lips as he drifted off.
Mikey huffed a small laugh, pressing a kiss to Luther's cheek before cuddling down into his shoulder and following him to sleep.
He would save his explanations for another time. Maybe in the morning.
.:(tmnt):.
Raphael watched as that bastard walked away with his little brother under his arm.
His heart shattered a fraction at the rejection. He had assumed Mikey would just forgive him, like he always did, and come back as simple as that. Considering Mikey was supposedly in love with him and all, Raph thought it would be easy.
Apparently he was wrong.
And Leatherhead, as much as Raphael hated the man, had a point. Why would Mikey want to come back home when he was having so much fun with getting drunk, and dragged into the gang life, and sucking face with a gang lord?
He was sure Mikey was having a great time dangling at the mercy of that deranged psychopath. Raph knew he had some issues, but that guy was a nightmare. He'd heard some gruesome stories about him. How he could go on a destructive rampage over nothing. He had the power to tear apart the whole city from the inside out at the snap of a finger, if he felt like it. And he had their baby brother.
Raph wanted to follow them. Find out where they were staying and take Mikey back. But he couldn't.
No matter how bad he wanted to, he couldn't move. Mikey's voice kept resounding in his head.
'Everything you've ever done to me I've tried to forgive, but I can never forget all of the bullshit you've put me through.'
All the audible pain and anger in his hoarse voice making it hard for Raph to breath.
'I just can't be around you right now.'
He could hardly believe it. Mikey would rather stick to the side of a gang lord than come back home to his family.
He could understand that Mikey was mad at him because, truthfully, he deserved it. He deserved every ounce of hatred and anger that his baby brother could hold over him, but that didn't condone taking the side of the enemy.
All their lives they were raised knowing that humans were nothing but a bunch of cold blooded, greedy monsters. Mikey knew better than to trust them. They rob, and rape, and kill.
'Hah! You're one to preach about monsters and murderers.' Raph thought to himself before growling in irritation and discarding the thought.
This wasn't about him. It was about his brother.
His point was, this Luther was bad news. And he knew that Mikey saw the best in everyone to a flaw, but how in the hell had he managed to befriend a leader of the gang factions? Especially with his anxiety of the Purple Dragons. How had Leatherhead bypassed that particular barrier?
"What if he doesn't know?" Raph began thinking out loud. "What if he has no idea he's stayin' with a city renowned homicidal maniac? That would explain a lot. I can't imagine him willingly hanging around a Purple Dragon otherwise. Not after what happened."
He shivered at the memory.
He was sure they were long gone, but he waited a few extra minutes anyway.
He didn't want to. As a matter of fact, he wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. The bartender had most likely contacted Xever by now about his arrival in Dragon territory. The single thought of waltzing around in the hang out of Xever of the South was a little bit unnerving, especially with the idea of the gang lord himself making an appearance any minute. He knew he should be peeling out of there fast.
But he had just seen his brother -who had been missing for over a week- with a fucking Gang Lord so he was pretty sure he was entitled to stop and take a moment to let it all sink in.
God, they were kissing! What the fuck was that?! Mikey was probably the single most affectionate person Raphael had ever known, but he wasn't that affectionate.
"Are the two of them a couple?" He asked himself dazedly. "Or maybe just fuck buddies?"
The thought of someone using his little brother for sex made Raph want to break something. Preferably the bones of that sorry fucker.
"Does that mean he doesn't love me anymore?"
Why in the hell was he worrying about shit like that?! It wasn't his problem if Mikey was moving on to someone else. Actually, it was a damn blessing. That way Raph wouldn't have to deal with the awkwardness of knowing how he feels and trying to ignore it, and act normal. Even if that someone was Leatherhead of the West.
So why did it feel like he was trying to convince himself?
Raph stood up and walked over to the couch. He picked up the unfolded orange bandanna that had been laying there. It was tied around Mikey's neck; replaced by the masquerade mask that hid his sea green scales. But it came undone and was forgotten on the couch when the two left.
He stared down at it as if it was all he had left of his brother.
It was a symbol of their family, and their loyalty to each other as a team. Now here it lay behind; forgotten by the boy that had held them all together. It was kind of ironic, actually.
Raphael folded it up and stuck it in his pocket; walking to the door to get out of that disgusting place.
The room was actually quite nice, but the image of that douche pinning his brother to the couch was burned into his eyes, and it was making him sick.
He walked down the stairs and out through the bar, shooting Laura a glare on his way out. She returned it quickly, and he exited the building.
"I take it he'd rather stay with us?" She shouted snidely before the door closed.
Raph clenched his teeth, and tightened his fist around the bandanna in his pocket as he continued down the sidewalk toward his bike.
~.:(tmnt):.~
He kept a steady speed of twenty over the speed limit the whole way back home. Thoughts of Mikey and Leatherhead, or Luther Headrick, plaguing his mind; making him grind his teeth in frustration.
He couldn't pin down the exact reason why it bothered him so much. Obviously, the thought of your little brother in the hands of a crazy, murderous, psychopathic underground ring leader was enough to drive anyone into an emotional frenzy. But then,add that with the knowledge that they were apparently... a couple.
He wasn't really sure which of the two bothered him more. And the fact that he was indecisive about it was irritating him even more than that.
On one hand, it was scary as hell knowing what Mikey had gotten himself into. That at any moment that switch in the gang lord's head could flip and Mikey could end up dead.
On the other hand, it's just the fucking thought of them. The mind numbing images of that asshole climbing between his baby brother's legs; holding him down, and kissing him, and touching him and shit. Knowing it only escalates from there was driving him insane.
He could feel his knuckles cracking from how hard he was gripping the handle bars.
He pulled into the garage and parked his bike; climbing off the seat to go stomping through the door. He walked passed Leo's room, and the basement door to storm through the living room; heading for the stairs. On his way, he passed Leo and Donnie as they sat on the couch talking about whatever it was they talked about while their baby brother was out getting drunk, and making out with a Purple Dragon boss.
They watched Raphael stomp by in concern.
"What happened?" Donnie asked worriedly. Raph ignored him and kept walking.
"Raphael, where've you been?" Leo asked. He tried to make it seem like an order, but he couldn't keep the motherly fret from his voice.
Raph stopped and turned to look at them with a glare that told them now wasn't the time, but he gave an answer.
"Pack up your shit for tomorrow night." He said; turning back to continue up the stairs. "We're getting our brother back."
He could tell they weren't done with the questions, but he was. He went up into his room and locked the door; rubbing his head as he walked over and flopped down on his bed. He was determined to block out any noise, or unwanted pestering, even as his brothers pounded on his door, demanding to know what was going on. They gave up and left him alone, eventually.
The thought came back to him again, in full force.
'He can't not know who he's dealing with. Leatherhead is a freakin' legend.'
He huffed, biting at the inside of his cheek thoughtfully.
'But, if he knew who he was hanging with, there's no way he'd stay with him. He'd be freaked out of his mind.'
Reasoning and logic and fits of enraged emotion all battled for his attention in his head. Thoughts of their situation. Mikey's situation. And soon enough, he fell asleep.
But thoughts of Purple Dragons, and Mikey's well being weren't finished with him yet.
Leo had gone away with their Dad for a few months the previous summer, and left Raph in charge.
He and Don had sent Mikey out to get some pizza, since they couldn't just order in. They didn't expect him to be back very quickly, but, after three hours had passed, they were starting to get a little worried.
They tried his cell, but, when that didn't work, they went out to search the city.
Mikey was nowhere to be found.
Two days passed by before they heard from him. They were both high on edge, and hadn't eaten or slept since he'd vanished. So when Donnie got a text from Mikey at two in the morning, they were already up and ready to go get him.
It read: 'purpl drgons warehose on 22st. hurry'
They'd busted in through the glass roof; climbing down with ropes. There were hundreds of cages filling the room to the top of the sealing. Most were empty but the ones that weren't held people. Some looked wounded, others looked tired and filthy. They all looked like they'd been through hell.
It looked like a nightmare. Like it couldn't be real.
They needed to get their brother out of there now.
Donnie and Raph both set to work with breaking the locks all while searching for their brother. They had freed about half the warehouse before Raph found the right cage.
It was bigger than the others, and the bars were thicker. The lock was also more complex and would take more than a twist of his sai through the latch to break. Raph could see his brother shift on the cage floor; eyes opened narrowly and focusing on him. They widened in fear before realizing who it was, then went back to their tired slits as a weak smile formed on his face.
"Hey, Raph..." His voice was dry and scratchy like he had been screaming. A lot.
And the twist in his stomach hurt just as bad in the dream as it had in real life.
"Don, I found him!" Raph shouted for the other. "Come pick this lock!"
Donnie hurried over and checked the lock type; reaching in the pouch of his belt that carried his lock picks. He started tinkering around with the lock, and Raph gripped the bars tight.
"Hang on, Mikey."
Raph swallowed at seeing all the scrapes and bruises. He had been injured somewhere on the head. The proof being a fair bit of blood left dried, and matted in his hair, coloring the bright blond a gross brown, leading to where it smeared across his face.
He laid on his back with his knees in the air by how small the cage was, not giving him any room to stretch out. It was bigger than the others, but still small.
"We'll get you out of here, don't worry." Raph said, sounding more like he was trying to keep himself calm, lamenting his inability to rip the bars right off and cradle their brother to safety.
Mikey slid his arm across the floor of the cage over toward him, and Raph stuck his through the bars to grab his hand.
"Are you alright?" He asked stupidly. Are you alright? Really?
Mikey laughed; trying to make it seem like it wasn't that big of a deal that he was taken off the streets, and, to Raph, looked like he had been brutally beaten.
"Well... I can't really move.." He said; glancing down at himself. "Everything hurts. And it's kinda hard to see. But I'm breathing, so I'd say I'm doing pretty great..." He chuckled; failing to hide the way he grit his teeth at the pain of forced laughter. His grip on Raphael's hand tightened as the pain spread, and he groaned in a way that sounded like a growl. Raph laced their fingers, and held on just as tight.
"Could you, maybe, hurry this up, Donnie?!" Raph hissed.
"I'm trying as hard as I can!" Don yelled back, sounding frantic, and just as panicked himself.
Finally the latch came undone and Raphael ripped it off it's socket, throwing open the door and nearly taking it off it's hinges.
He crawled into the cage and leaned over his brother; helping Mikey lift his arms around Raph's neck so he could pick him up and carry him out.
Mikey hissed and whined at every move they made, and, the more damage Raph noticed while positioning him in his arms, the more surprised he was Mikey didn't break into tears. Everyone else they'd freed was doing that. Some that didn't even look so bad were crying their hearts out.
Somehow that made it harder to watch him put up the tough guy act. Even the fully grown man -that had only been there for twenty-four hours- was sobbing like he never had before.
But not Mikey. Instead, he smiled up at Raphael, and trembled in his arms at the brush of a bruise or a gash hiding under his clothes.
They freed the rest of the warehouse and lead the people to the exit where Raph was forced to put Mikey down so the two older brothers could beat the shit out of the watch guys. The watchmen lived, but only by Don's mercy.
Donnie had stopped Raph from going too far, spewing some nonsense about humanity.
"These guys took our baby brother! Took all these people off the streets, away from their families, and did god knows what to them until they could barely function on their own! Some of those people in those cages were dead, Don! Where's the humanity in that?"
He'd remembered going off on Donnie. Being so livid he could barely see straight. But Don stood his ground, and replied only with,
"We're not them."
Looking back and seeing Mikey, who could barely walk himself, holding a child in his arms and calming him down from his hysteric crying. A wide grin on his face in the darkest of times.
Raph imagined what it would have been like to find him already gone by the time they got there. Being too late, and losing that goodness, and selflessness permanently. Just another corpse in a cage, like the handful they'd left behind.
And that was on them. Those Purple Dragon bastards. How many others had suffered the same torment? How many more would? How many were like Mikey, that would never see their families again? Their last memories being hurt, and cold, and dying in the dark?
They deserved to die.
But Raph backed down. For Mikey. For the little kid he was shushing, and soothing. For everyone else who'd survived that night. They had seen enough horror for a life time.
They laid knocked out on the ground, Donnie standing between them and his older brother. Raph clicked his tongue, and turned around to walk away.
Donnie followed, but just as grimly. There was no victory for him in letting them live. He was just as pissed as Raph was. He just knew he wasn't a killer. And he didn't want his brother to become one either.
When they joined the group of survivors, they decided to split up to make the journey easier.
Mikey handed the child he'd been holding over to Raph, who would take the people to the closest safe place, then call 911, while Donnie would take Mikey home to take care of him.
Mikey climbed up onto Donnie's back, with a little of Raph's help, so they could go home. Raph hated to let them out of his sight, but knew Donnie was more than capable of getting the two of them home safely.
It was a long enough walk just to get out of the sketchy areas of the city, so as soon as they reached a civilized section of the city, Raph made the call and left the group of fifteen or so to wait for help to arrive. A bit heartless, he knew, but he couldn't risk sticking around long enough to be discovered as a mutant, and had two little brothers at home who needed him.
After handing off the little boy to one of the others, he went to make his leave, and he remembered someone calling out to him.
"Thank you s-so much!"
He ran as fast as he could to get home. It seemed like it was taking far too long to get back. like the distance to home had doubled just to wear him down.
When he did finally get home, he barged through the door and almost slammed it shut. He was panting hard, face red, dripping sweat, hair a mess. He'd refused to stop for a breather until he'd made it home and confirmed his siblings were alright.
He walked over to Don who sat beside their sleeping brother on the couch.
It looked like he'd taken a shower and got all patched up. The blood and dirt was gone, and there were two band aids stuck to his sleeping face. But he looked peaceful.
He had a new change of clothes on, the old, ripped, disgusting clothes gone, and replaced with one of Raph's large, black tee-shirts and a pair of red boxer-briefs. If the dark bruises, and bandages on his face and limbs weren't a dead give away, no one would ever guess what he had just gone through.
Donnie looked away from Mikey's care free smile and up at Raphael with tears in his eyes. Raph's heart almost stopped.
"What's wrong?" He asked; keeping his voice calm and steady. Don breathed in choppily; like he was going to start sobbing.
"They hurt him, Raph." He breathed out; biting his lip as the tears broke free and ran down his cheeks. "They hurt him real bad." He didn't explain any deeper than that.
They didn't know how long it would be before he woke up. Don said it could have been up to a week or two before he opened his eyes again. Thankfully it only took three days. Raph sat at Mikey's feet on the couch, watching Supernatural when he shifted. Raph didn't think much of it at first. Mikey tossed and turned a lot, but this time he let out a small groan and brought his hand up to rub at his aching head.
"Ugh.. what happened?" He ground out as he sat up on one of his elbows. "Head hurts like shit..."
Raph wasn't sure if the shriek Mikey let out was from fear, surprise, or pain when he tackled his baby brother in a hug, but at that moment he really didn't care.
"Thank fuck you're awake." Raph chuckled in relief. He pulled away from Mikey; holding his shoulders at arms length. "Donnie! He's awake!"
They could hear the pounding of feet running up the stairs before Don rushed into the living room to shoo Raph's hands away. He sat between them and wrapped Mikey in his own hug. Then he pulled back and looked into Mikey's eyes, and carefully asked in that gentle voice of his.
"Do you remember what happened to you?"
"Yeah..." Mikey said after a few seconds of thinking about it. "Was kinda hoping that was a nightmare."
He looked down at the floor scratching his head. "Did you see...?" He trailed off; hoping his brothers would know what he was talking about so he wouldn't have to say it.
"Yeah..." Donnie said understandingly. "I saw..."
"Saw what?" Raph asked, eyebrows creasing in confusion.
Mikey looked sadly at Don, silently asking if they should let him in on the secret. Donnie nodded and Mikey sighed.
He lifted the shirt up just a ways, trying to keep as much of his injuries hidden as possible, but singled out a particular patch at his hip.
Donnie stood up to sit on the coffee table, beside him, and gingerly pealed back the large bandage from Mikey's lower hip. Underneath was a searing red burn about as big as a five year old's hand. The burn was in the shape of a dragon that was twisted in a sideways eight; eating it's own tail.
Raphael's mouth fell open a little at the sight of it. Donnie looked away from it at the floor, and Mikey looked up at Raph to judge his reaction, but Raphael was struck speechless. So Mikey did the talking.
"They branded me with a hot iron. Said I was merchandise now and I belonged to them. Didn't treat me too bad though, 'cause they figured they could sell me off to a scientist or something." He chuckled. "Said they'd come across my kind before and got a ton of money off of them. They would have sold me too if I hadn't found my phone while out of my cage and texted you."
He paused, tapping Donnie to silently ask he cover it back up. Then he pulled Raph's shirt back over it, and settled back down into the couch.
"Thanks for coming to get me." His smile was a little sad and relieved at the same time, like he had expected the two of them to just leave him there. But happy that they'd decided they wanted him to stick around a bit longer.
"Why wouldn't we?" Donnie asked brows knitting together in thought of Mikey's thanks. "You're our brother. We'd do anything for you." Don pulled Mikey into another hug and pet his hair back, careful of the stitches at his hair line.
"We love you." He choked; on the verge of tears again. Mikey returned the hug, hiding his face in Donnie's shoulder.
"I love you too..." He sniffled; directing the comment at the both of them.
He spent the rest of the day alone in his room. That night Raph was heading out but Donnie caught him before he left.
"Where are you going?" He asked innocently.
"Warehouse." Raph stated plainly.
"...Why?" Donnie asked, a little afraid of the answer.
"Vendetta." Then he left.
Raphael killed nine men that night. He left the tenth barely alive to convey the message he was sending out. To all gang districts, and the rest of the world.
"Don't fuck with my family."
They didn't know what he meant. He hadn't explained to them the wrong their people had done. He'd been too consumed in invoking his wrath that he didn't bother elaborating. But their Lord Xever took notice to his actions, and they came up with a little name for him. 'The Nightwatcher'.
Raphael woke up from his nap, feeling that clench in his chest he always felt when he had that dream. It haunted him. And he was sure the others were haunted by it too. That night took something from all of them. Raph had become a killer. Donnie learned there were some wounds he couldn't heal, and sometimes they were the ones he wish he could the most. And Mikey, well...
They'd been enemies of the Purple Dragons ever since, but no one despised them more than Raphael.
No one touches his family. Most importantly, no one touches Mikey. It's Raph's job to mess with him. When anyone else does it around him he got all antsy and weird.
He remembered one time when they were little, he'd glared at their Dad for a whole ten minutes for accidentally knocking over a five year old Mikey -who had been running around the kitchen under their Dad's feet. Their father didn't mean to do it, but Mikey started crying, so intentional or not didn't really matter to a six year old Raphael.
That brand on his hip is still there. Don sais it'll never heal. Raphael hates himself a little more every time he sees it. It reminds him that he couldn't keep his promise to keep his baby brother safe.
Raph smoothed back his red hair, and pulled Mikey's bandanna out of his pocket. He held it by one of the folds, allowing it to fall to it's full length.
It hung over him as he pictured Mikey's freckled, smiling face. His wheat blond hair a mess and his bright blue eyes shining in delight. He'd always liked Mikey's eyes. Such vibrant shades of blue all clashing together like the waves of the ocean. Framed by thick blond lashes that looked a little feminine, but fitting. They were so lively and spirited. They shown as clear as glass straight to his soul. But Raph couldn't remember the last time he'd actually looked into them the way he always used to. It would be a miracle if that light was still there after everything he's gone through.
Tired as he was, Raph let his mind wander. He pictured Mikey laughing, without his mask, lips parted, white teeth showing in a wide grin. Then those same lips being smashed into a kiss by a gang lord. Raphael growled at the sharp left turn of the train of his thoughts; kneading the orange bandanna under the heal of his hand into his eye.
He turned on his side and stared at the bandanna, tracing his fingers over the crisp fabric.
He didn't know what was wrong with him. Didn't understand why he was acting so weird.
Any other time Raphael would be dragging Mikey home, kicking and screaming by his heals if that's what it came to. Would have told him he was out of his damn mind for making the choices he's been making. Drinking. Sex. Gang lord schmoozing. Would have put Mikey's feelings aside and got him somewhere safe. Somewhere he wouldn't be in danger, where Raph could look out for him.
But here he was. Came home empty handed with a head full of thoughts, swarming like angry wasps. Thoughts about his emotions, about Mikey's emotions. About his hair, his eyes his smile. About how he wanted to wrap him up so badly, and hide him away from everything, and everyone else.
He knew what they were doing. What Leatherhead was doing to him. He knew, and he let him go anyway. Because he wasn't himself then. Raph was something else. Something that cared about Mikey's thoughts and wants, and desires. His needs. Of freedom, a break, some time to himself.
Something that fell apart when rejected. That's why he hadn't done anything. He'd been devastated. Heart broken, almost. Usually he would have brushed it off. What did it matter what Mikey thought of him then? Let it wait until he was home, where nothing bad could happen, then let the hurt of those opinions ache away at him.
But Raph wasn't even able to move for a bit after Mikey had walked away from him. Mikey had thought he was a jerk. An ass. That Raph wasn't being sincere. And that had hurt him deeper than he'd expected.
He let that thought come back and stab him again.
'He doesn't think I love him.'
Holy hell, was he wrong.
Raphael thought his outlook on his baby brother would change after he found out how he felt about him, but it didn't. Not really.
In fact, the only changes were how he felt more protective over him and considerate of his feelings than ever. He just didn't know why. It should disgust him that Mikey liked him like that, but it was like that new knowledge only brought them closer.
It wasn't that he loved him back, in that way, or anything. He just felt like, after reading his whole journal, full of all kinds of secret inner demons, it was less about his romantic interest in Raph, and more about the new realization of what kind of inner conflict that he'd brought on for him over the years. Mikey was less confident because of this. Thought he was disgusting. A freak, or, well, a bigger freak than they already were. Mikey seemed more vulnerable now. Self deprecating and fragile.
Raph felt like he had to play out the role of the big brother and watch out for him. That was it.
Right?
Yes! That was it!
So why was he second guessing himself?
He gripped onto the bandanna tightly and let out a confused sigh. He didn't know what to think anymore, but there was one thing he was certain of. Tomorrow he would lead his brothers in an attack on the west district gang hangout. He would get his brother back even if it meant starting a war. Mikey belonged there with Raph, not in the streets with that a sociopathic maniac. He was going to get hurt out there if Raph didn't take him back.
The worries and anxieties pounded at his skull, one after another. Dangerous settings and situations were manifesting in his mind as he forced himself to go to sleep.
Raph wondered how he could have let things get this out of hand. How oblivious he was toward his little brother's problems that Raph was causing. But most of all he wondered when he became so possessive that Mikey wasn't their little brother anymore. Mikey was his.
Hopefully now I've weeded out all the bugs in this chapter. Whoo.