A/N: Hey, everybody! I'm back! Here we go~

Warning(s): yaoi, angst, gore, shotas.

"Who are you trying to convince, Sebastian?" Ciel asked as he looked up at me, "You or me?"

I close my eyes, still feeling warm tears slip out, "Me, young master." I feel a gentle thumb reach up and wipe away my tears, "Hey, now, don't cry, too." I chuckle softly as he reaches up and kisses my cheek, "Sebastian...Do you really like to hurt yourself this way?" I look down at him, "N-no, my lord. I'd say it's like a drug, but I don't feel the high." He sighs softly and kisses underneath my chin, "Why don't you come sleep with me tonight? Will that make you feel better?" I nod and he smiles, hopping off my lap, "Alright, c'mon."

I smile a bit as I follow him out.

The knife in the bathroom wall long forgotten.

When we reach Ciel's room, he crawls under the covers and nuzzles into the sheets happily. I pull off my butler attire, neatly folding it like always. I slip under the sheets with Ciel, sighing happily as silk caresses my skin. I feel my little love cuddle next to me, his head underneath my chin. I gently rest my chin atop his head, his breath tickling my bare stomach, my arms wrapped so tightly around him.

I close my eyes in pure bliss.

I could stay like this forever. Just my bocchan and me, relaxing, the silence around us not awkward, but peaceful.

I whisper softly, "I love you, Ciel." A moment later I hear his sleepy reply, "I love you, too, Sebas,' he yawns, '...tian."

I smile to myself, letting my eyes open halfway as I feel my used body begin to unwind. My wrists have stopped bleeding a while ago. I let my body sink into the soft mattress, Ciel's gentle breathing lulling me to a state of relaxation I did not know I was capable of. Before I know what's happening, I feel my mind succumb to fatigue and I drift off, holding my little love tightly.

Sometime later, I feel my eyes flutter open. It's still dark outside, and before I can struggle my, mind is thrown back in time.

"I didn't want to use this method, but I see it cannot be helped."

"N-No, Claude. you don't have to!"

My captor looms over me, my arms and legs pinned down as he bites down on my neck, "YOu tried to escape when I had my back turned. I dind't want to mark you this way, but you forced it upon yourself." I thrash underneath him, "N-no," as my shorts are yanked down to my ankles.

No, no, no ,no ,no ,no, NO! He's going to rape me. Again. And again and again and again!

He travels down my bare skin, and I only squirm and thrash and hiss more. He pauses on my upper thigh. "C-Claude," I question carefully. His hand stops on my pale skin, "Sebastian...I am going to mark you."

NO! "Don't mark me, please," I plead openly. When he marks me, his contract symbol is burned onto my skin and any demon can tell that I have been claimed. It's like a dog collar- proving that I am Claude's pet. He etches his contract symbol into the skin of my thigh with a black pocket knife, whispering words in the demonic language.

It burns. It burns. Please, stop, Claude. Please stop!

"All done...," he purrs as he looks up at me, wiping his blood soaked hand on the sheets.

I whimper as the muscles in my leg throb. Why does he always hurt me so bad?

"Sebastian...I love you."

I jerk back to life and stumble out of bed. I walk down the hallway, down the stairs into my room.

"No, no Claude..."

"Can't you tell? All those gentle kisses and the times when I stopped when you begged me to? Are you that blind?!"

I open the bathroom door and rip the knife from the wall and lean against the red painted wall. I trace the circled star underneath my pants, and in one swift motion dig the blade into the mark.

Pain.

It burns. It hurts, my leg throbs as I grit my teeth and twist the blade. Blood pours out and I try to hard not to scream as crimson blood runs down my leg. I yank the knife out and collapse onto the floor. I cry, tears running down my cheeks and harsh sobs racking my body. I shift out of my black dress pants, looking down at the wound in my leg. I can see my bone and I puke a little in my mouth. I struggle to stand, leaning against the wall and limping out. I flop onto my bedroom floor.

I dig the dirty glass into my skin, slicing, cutting out the horrid mark. This should get rid of it. So Claude can't find me. I snarl as the layer of skin peels back and I cut it off without a second thought. It lands with a sick splat.

I close tired eyes, an abused body curling up on the cold, hard ground. At least it's better than sleeping in Claude's damned mansion for one more night.

I sob and army crawl into the hallway. I think I might be going crazy. "C-Ciel...Ciel..," I sputter, nails digging into the carpet.

I want to kill myself. So bad. Just ram that damn knife into my chest and let me pathetic excuse for a life slip away. No one really cares, anyway. I shut my eyes and just lay there in the dark hallway, letting all darkness consume me as I bleed.

"What have you done...," he whispers, looking down at the mess I made, "What've you done, now?!" A harsh smack is delivered to my cheek. I hang my head in shame. I messed up Claude's party, I need to be punished. I kneel in front of him and he genlty pets my hair, "You know what must be done." I lower my eyes as he grabs a fistful of my hair and forced me to look up at him, "Oh, Sebastian...You look so wonderful submitting to me the way you are." I let a few tears slip out.

I don't want to be punished. It's not my fault I tripped on the rug and spilled the tea on Claude's guest's lap.

I think Claude purposely made me fall.

He likes to punish me. It brings him some sort of sick satisfaction to watch me scream and cry an dbeg for him to stop his absolute torture, knowing that he won't and my screaming only makes him want me more.

I hate my life.

I hate my life.

I hate my life.

I want to die. I want to die. I want to die.

I can't. I have Ciel. Ciel...I have Ciel.

The morning sun winks at me through the cooks and windows in the mansion. I stand, making my way towards Ciel's room.

While Ciel eats his dinner, I watch.

I remember my father. He was kind to me, until I turned six.

Ciel eats and occasionally steals a glance at me.

Hunger.

I'm so hungry.

But I can't beg for food, not like Father wants me to. I will silently scream. I will not give in.

I pull at the cuff around my ankle, hissing in frustration. There really is no point anymore. I flinch when the door opens, "Kiaran?" I look at him, "Father?"

"What have I said about calling me that?"

"Sorry...Daddy."

He walks up to me and crouches down, gently petting my hair. I flinch when he touches me, "It's a habit."

"It's alright Kiaran. You truly look adorable..."

I let a small whimper escape as he tilted my head up to look at him, "I-I..."

He gently kisses my forehead, "Are you afraid?" I nod.

"What are you afraid of?"

"You."

Ciel stands and gently kisses my cheek. I force a smile for the umpteenth time.

I follow Ciel as he beckons me away.

I try so hard not to let him watch me fall.

A/N: This was crap. OH WELL!

I wont be updating for at least a week, so have fun! The theme song for this story is What Have You Done by Within Temptation.

Check it out!

Bye~