Chapter seven: We need to talk!

Hermione appeared at the doorstep of Grimmauld place number 12, with hair still cracking with magic from her anger and frustration. She stepped inside the dark house, where no sound could be heard. It was only her and her erratic breathing. She was all alone. A heavy weight settled on her shoulders. She was all alone. What if she would always be alone? Sure, she would get married, but without any love at all, how would she cope? There was no guarantee that Sirius would want to marry her. What if Ron had been her only chance for a somewhat successful marriage? Sure she wasn't romantically interested in him, but he would be a safe choice for a safe and happy life. She might not love him as anything but a brother, but she knew he would be a fantastic father. Still she just couldn't do that to him, take away his chance of finding a woman who could love him right.

She had a feeling of looming doom, so she went to library for the first time in a long time not to read and gather information, but to forget. Forget every problem and inconvenience and to get good old plain utterly wasted.

She walked on the dark wooden floor between the bookshelves looking for an old silver globe in the corner furthest away from the door. Two black leather wingback chairs stood facing the globe. She took a deep breath and pushed an almost invisible button on Germany. This caused the top to open revealing a couple of dusty bottles of Ogdens firewhiskey. She grabbed one, popped the cork of and took a swing, the amber liquid burning its way down her throat. Another swing and a numb warm started to spread throughout her body. Another, everything were starting to get dizzy and fuzzy. Another, the numb feeling reached her brain and she no longer remembered why she started drinking in the first place. Another, she started sopping, because everything in her life was difficult, even though right now she didn't remember the specifics. Another, she started laughing hysterically. Another, she was suddenly tired, her eyelids heavier than ever before. Another the deep red carpet seemed like a nice place to lay. She laid down and fell asleep with a tight grip on the bottle.

Sirius P.O.V.

No one knew how to act after Hermione left, they were just staring awkwardly at each other, not sure how to proceed until Ron took a swing of the bottle in his hand and yelled; "What the hell", before turning the music back on and starting dancing. That broke the tension and soon most people were dancing. At least Ron didn't seem too broken over the rejection if the big smile on his face as he danced was any indication. Maybe he was just too drunk to really comprehend what had happened? As long as he was happy, Sirius was happy not having to deal with the tension between his two remaining roommates.

Sirius looked around to catch Harry's eyes to check if he was alright, but when he too was on the dance Sirius shrugged and went to sit down by one of the tables outside the dance floor. He couldn't shake the feeling of wanting to check if Hermione was alright too. He knew she was capable of taking care of herself and felt so bad for wanting to leave his godsons wedding to check a girl he had a crush on. But as the night continued, his worry grew and approximately an hour after Ron's stunt he excused himself and left.

When he found her laying in the library his breathing became more controlled. She hadn't been in her bedroom and he must admit he had started to panic just a tinie tiny bit, by the thought that she might not want to ever come back to Grimmauld. Granted he didn't hold that much love for the dark place, but without her in it he realised it would be even more cold than when his parents were still alive. Without her sweet voice to fill the house, he knew he wouldn't be able to bear living there. Sirius picked her up very gently, trying not to startle her. He carried her all the way to her room, where he laid her on her bed, placed a hangover potion on her bedside and placed a kiss on her forehead before going to bed himself.

Hermiones P.O.V.

Hermione felt horrible. Ugh, this was exactly why she tried to avoid getting too drunk. When she opened her eyes and saw a sober up potion on her bedside table, she sent a silent prayer to whatever angel whom had placed it there. She downed the liquid and felt the fog in her head clear. Oh, no. Last night. Ron. Oh poor Ron. She needed to apologise and explain in more detail why she had rejected him. Sure he could be a right bit, but she wasn't about to let the stupid marriage law rip her and one of her best friends apart. Getting dressed in a pair of worn jeans and a light blue t-shirt, she made her way downstairs to see both her remaining roommates, now that Harry had left to live with Ginny, sitting at the kitchen table eating in silence. Ron looked quite sheepish upon seeing her and Sirius's eyes held nothing but concern.

Hermione opened her mouth to speak and said at the exact same time as Ron.

"We need to talk."

"The library?" She supplied.

"Sure," Ron got up and followed her up the stairs and into the Black family library.

They sat down on the couch and started speaking.

"Look Ron-"

"Hermione I'm-"

They shared a quick laugh that served to ease the tension that had built between them. Ron made a gesture with his hand encouraging her to speak first. She took a deep breath and started her troughly reviewed monologue.

"Ron, I'm sorry I have been so blunt with you about this whole marriage law thing. I haven't given you any explanation what so ever about my actions towards you. I'm just not right for you. We are best friends and I love you dearly like a brother , I don't want to see you hurt or stuck in a loveless marriage. Or at least stuck in marriage with a person who doesn't feel the right kind of love for you. You are one of my best and oldest friends and I truly want you to be happy. I'm sure whoever will marry you, will have the honour of having the most amazing husband and father, they could have ever dreamed about. I just know that you wouldn't get that with me and I could never do that to you."

Somewhere in the middle of her speech tears had started forming in her eyes and her voice was slightly blurred at the end. It just felt so good to get it all off her chest. To know that Ron knew why she just couldn't marry him.

"Hermione, you have no idea how much I needed to hear that. I promise I will always be your friend and I'm so sorry that I have made this law harder than it had had to be. It's just some irrational part of me never let go of my school crush and I felt like I had to try. I would never get another chance, we are getting married and that's a lifetime thing. Honestly it scared me, what if we would've worked now? I couldn't let you go without at least trying one last time."

He flinched.

"Apparently two last times. The wedding, sorry I was drunk and I shouldn't have embarrassed you in front of all those people. I don't want you to have a miserable life with some stranger and thought that even though I knew deep inside that you could never love like I need to be loved, I wanted to try. I don't want you hurt and marriage to me could protect you from... I don't being completely broken. I see now that it would have never worked, at least not well. We fight way too often to raise a family together. I know you will be a wonderful mother when you find the right person."

"Oh, Ronald," Hermione sobbed openly now and flung herself into his arms for a hug, " I'm so glad we cleared the air."

Ron cleared his throat nervously, his gaze flicking around the room.

"Um... Hermione..."

She sat back up and focused on his face which held the expression of when he did something incredibly stupid and needed her help to get him out of his mess.

"What is it Ron?," her eyes were slightly narrowed.

Ron gulped and said in one go; "You see, I wanted a fair chance so might have made sure you didn't get any letters from people that was about proposal and the law."

He looked down, but could still feel the rise of Hermione's magic in the air. She took a deep breath to steady herself. They had just made up and she really didn't want more drama.

"You go fetch those letters immediately and then you leave me alone. I don't want to be mad at you, so please give me some space to calm down again." She was breathing heavily, restraining herself from hexing him so bad he wouldn't be able to walk for a week.

"I'm so so so so sorry Mione, I swear I shouldn't have done that." With that as his parting words he quickly scrambled out of the library and returned with the letters.

"Sorry," he said one last time before running off to god knows where. She really couldn't bother to care right now, she had letters to read and from the sight of it more than a hundred. How many of these were proposals?

A new chapter, finally! Probably the last one before New Years. I hope you enjoyed it, please leave a review to tell me what you thought those are my fuel, when my muse needs a push.

A special thanks to Gatoryn for continued support, you are the best!