A/N: I have quoted The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. Beautiful, beautiful book. Fabulous writing. I recommend it to all.

The afternoon of New Year's Eve, Tara was curled up in one of the deck chairs in Buffy's back yard reading when the slayer joined her. Buffy leaned over to get a good look at the cover of Tara's book.

"The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold," she read off the cover. When she leaned over, the cross necklace that Tara had given her dangled from her neck. Tara was internally overjoyed to see Buffy was still wearing it. "That's what you literature buffs call leisure reading, huh?"

"Yeah," Tara replied. Buffy sat back in the other chair and sighed, enjoying the sunlight on her skin. "It's really good. You should read it."

"Nah. Call me a Cosmo girl. I have a hard enough time finishing the required reading for class."

"You don't like reading much," Tara observed. Buffy shrugged her shoulders.

"It's not so much that I don't like it," Buffy replied. "I just don't get much time for reading. My leisure activities tend to require less brain power and more dancing."

Tara smiled and nodded her head. She placed her bookmark to save her page and set her book down.

"Oh, speaking of dancing. The Dingoes are playing the Bronze tonight," Buffy said. "We're all gonna be there. It's the big New Year's Eve bash. You joining us?"

"I guess I could," Tara replied shyly. "I don't have m-much else going on."

They sat and enjoyed the sun and silence for a moment. Then Buffy looked back to Tara. "So what's the book about?"

"Huh?" Tara asked, caught off guard by the break in the silence. Then she realized what Buffy had asked. "Oh, it-it's about this girl who was murdered and the way that everybody deals with it. The way the author wrote it, though, was from the perspective of th-the murdered girl in heaven as she looked down on everyone on Earth."

"Sounds morbid," Buffy said with a grimace. Murder stories weren't really appealing to her. She dealt with enough killing in her own life.

"It does until you start reading it," Tara replied. "The writing style is just-just so captivating."

"Read me some," Buffy said, gesturing to the book. Tara looked apprehensive. Buffy continued prodding with a smile. "Come on, read me this captivating stuff."

Tara reluctantly opened the book to the page she had marked and chose a paragraph.

"'Wet laundry. The snap, the yank, the wet heaviness of double- and queen-sized sheets. The real sounds bringing back the remembered sounds of the past when I had lain under the dripping clothes to catch water on my tongue or run in between them as if they were traffic cones through which I chased Lindsey or was chased by Lindsey back and forth. And this would be joined by the memory of our mother attempting to lecture us about the peanut butter from our hands getting on the good sheets, or the sticky lemon-candy patches she had found on our father's shirts. In this way the sight and smell of the real, of the imagined, and of the remembered all came together for me.'"

When Tara looked up, she saw Buffy just staring, listening attentively. Buffy smiled, but she didn't say anything.

"What?" Tara asked, wondering why Buffy was smiling at her like that.

"Nothing, it's just…" Buffy trailed off, hoping she wouldn't embarrass or insult Tara with what she was about to say. She didn't intend it that way, but she knew Tara was particularly self-conscious about it. "You didn't stutter when you were reading that. Not once."

"Oh," she responded. She looked down at the book, blushing. "W-what'd you think?"

Buffy smiled. Tara thought for a moment—before dismissing it as wishful thinking—that she heard a flirtatious lilt in Buffy's tone of voice.

"Definitely captivating."

Once they walked Dawn to her friend's house for the night, Tara and Buffy met Xander, Willow, Oz and Anya at the Bronze to begin their own New Year's fun. Tara felt slightly uncomfortable at first. But after some time and a couple drinks, she loosened up a little bit. The dance floor was very crowded, and she felt embarrassed at first when she and Buffy were dancing due to how close they were forced to be. After a while, she got used to it, and Buffy didn't seem to mind.

It started to near midnight, and the group was at the table they had claimed early on. Oz was on stage with his band in order to play once midnight came. The four girls sat at the tall table while Xander stood with his left arm wrapped around Anya's waist.

"Oh, I'm on empty," Buffy said, looking down into her cup. "I need something for midnight."

"Me too," Willow said.

"I'll get drinks. Anyone else?" Buffy asked. Anya and Xander shook their heads and Tara stood with Buffy.

"I'll go with you," Tara said. "I'm out, too."

"Okay," Buffy agreed.

"Hurry back," Willow said. Then she turned to look up to the stage and shoot Oz a smile.

Buffy and Tara made their way through the crowd and up to the bar. It turned out everybody was getting a refill for the big moment. They couldn't get the bartender's attention.

"What? Do I have to take my top off to get some attention around here?" Buffy asked as she fruitlessly waved at the bartender. Tara blushed slightly and just laughed. Then the Dingoes' lead singer, Devon, announced that it was one minute to midnight. Everybody cheered.

"Maybe we should just go back to the table," Tara suggested. "We don't need drinks."

They turned and found that they were trapped.

"Man, we're packed in here like cattle," Buffy said with a frustrated pout.

"Think people would move if we mooed?" Tara asked. Buffy laughed.

"I doubt they'd even hear us," she shouted over the noise of the crowd.

As the two of them tried to find a path away from the bar, Devon counted down and the crowd joined in.

"Nineteen…eighteen…seventeen…"

"Well, we're stuck," Buffy said, turning to Tara. The bartender had finally come over to them. "Drink?"

Tara smiled and nodded her head. Buffy quickly placed their orders.

"Ten…nine…eight…"

"You got your resolution?" Buffy asked. Tara thought about her resolution, but she couldn't say it out loud. Not to Buffy, and not here.

"Four…three…two…one. Happy New Year!"

The crowd erupted in cheers and confetti flew up in the air as everyone celebrated. Tara wasn't sure what came over her. She had had a few more drinks than she was used to, but she didn't feel that drunk. Maybe it was the crowd. Maybe it was the noise. But without any warning, she leaned forward and kissed Buffy. The slayer was caught off guard and her eyes widened. For a brief moment, though, she closed her eyes and didn't break away. Tara thought she felt Buffy kiss back. Soon, though, it was over as Buffy pushed Tara back.

"Tara!" she said. The look on her face was one of shock. The pessimist in Tara felt Buffy looked disgusted as well, and that's the feeling that Tara believed. She shook her head and looked very hurt.

"I-I-I'm s-sorry. I d-d-didn't…" she stammered. Then she turned and pushed her way through the crowd, wanting to get as far away from Buffy as she possibly could. She had disappeared into the cheering crowd amidst the singing of 'Auld Lange Syne' before Buffy even managed to shake away the shock.

"No. Tara! Wait!" she shouted in the direction Tara had gone. She pushed against the crowd and shoved her way through. She couldn't see Tara anywhere. She made her way back to the table where Willow, Xander and Anya were.

"Hey! Happy New Year!" Willow shouted, jumping out of her chair and giving Buffy a hug before Buffy could say anything. When Buffy half-heartedly returned the hug, Willow stepped back and finally saw the worried look on her friend's face. "What's wrong?"

"Did Tara come by here?" Buffy asked.

"No, we haven't seen her since you guys went up to the bar," Xander said.

"We…had a misunderstanding," Buffy said, not sure she wanted to tell her friends yet that she and Tara had kissed. "She got upset and took off. You're sure you didn't see her?"

"We didn't see her," Willow said. "What happened?"

"I'll explain later," Buffy said, shaking her head. "I'm afraid she might have left the Bronze. Will, I need you to stay here. Check the bathroom and just kind of look around. Xander and Anya, can you guys go to Tara's dorm room and see if she went there? Maybe you'll even catch up to her on the way."

"Sure," Xander agreed.

"I'll go home and see if she went back there," Buffy said. "If you find her, call my house."

The group split up and went in search of Tara. Buffy felt more and more guilty by the second. She just hoped she would find Tara safe and unharmed, and then they could talk about what happened.

She hadn't brought the key to her dorm room with her to the Bronze so Tara had to go back to the Summers house to get her things. She hoped that Joyce was asleep so she could get out quickly and quietly. She walked nervously down the street. Her previous encounter with vampires left her on edge at night. She felt stupid for leaving the Bronze, but she felt even more stupid for what she had done.

Insane, she thought. I went insane.

As she made her way up the front walk, she saw a light on in the living room and wiped at her tears. She had a feeling that wouldn't really keep Joyce from noticing that she was upset, but it was all she could do as she entered the house. She was even more disappointed when she saw Joyce wasn't alone. Apparently, Giles had decided to keep Joyce company on New Year's Eve. They were sitting on the sofa watching an old movie. They looked over and were surprised to see Tara back already and alone.

"Tara, what are you doing back?" Joyce asked.

"I-I don't feel w-well," she lied. "I, um, think I'm coming down with something. I-I'm just going to go back to the dorm."

"Nonsense. If you're sick, you shouldn't be alone in some drafty old dormitory," Joyce said. Giles sat up and Joyce stood, moving over to Tara. Joyce did the typical mother temperature gauge by feeling Tara's forehead with the back of her hand.

"I-I don't wanna get anyone else sick," Tara said.

"You feel warm, but not feverish," Joyce said. She finally noticed the tear stains on Tara's cheeks and had a good idea of what was going on. "You're not sick, are you?"

Tara crossed her arms over her chest and looked down at the floor. "I c-can't talk about it," she said quietly. Joyce rested her hand gently on Tara's shoulder and turned to Giles.

"Rupert, I think Tara and I need to have a girls' talk," Joyce said. Giles nodded his head and stood.

"Of course, it's late anyway," he said as he grabbed his coat and moved to the door. "Good evening, ladies." He gave Tara's arm a gentle squeeze. "Take care, Tara."

Once he was gone, Joyce led Tara over to the sofa and got her to sit down. Tara leaned on her knees and stared at the floor. Joyce sat beside her.

"M-Mrs. Summers, I can't—"

"Did Buffy say something to upset you?" Joyce asked, interrupting Tara's protest. Tara shook her head.

"N-no, it wasn't Buffy's fault. It w-was me. I'm s-so stupid," Tara said dejectedly.

"You are not stupid," Joyce said, resting her hand on Tara's shoulder again. "What happened?"

"I-I…" Tara said trailing off. She couldn't force herself to tell Joyce that she was in love with her daughter. She had a feeling Joyce would be even more appalled than Buffy was.

"Did you tell Buffy how you feel about her?" Joyce asked. Tara looked over at her in shock. She smiled back at her. "I may be a mom, but I'm not that old, Tara. I do notice things."

"Am I that o-obvious?" Tara asked in shock and frustration. "Willow saw it. Xander and Dawn saw it. You s-saw it."

"I don't think Rupert knows," Joyce tried to reassure her. Tara scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Buffy sure didn't know. She does now."

"Sweetie, what happened?" Joyce asked, putting on her best sympathetic mom face. It was the face she had perfected when Dawn came home from a bad day at school. Except in Dawn's case, the sympathetic mom face was usually accompanied by cookies. Joyce had a feeling Tara would find cookies a little patronizing.

Tara sighed and looked away from Joyce again. "I kissed her."

Joyce was surprised, but she remained silent. She knew there was more Tara had to say.

"At midnight. We w-w-were by the bar and I-I just did it."

"You sure did it," a male voice said. The two women looked over at the foyer in surprise. Then they stood. Joyce stepped protectively in front of Tara when she recognized him. "I thought the bleedin' slayer was going to throw you across the bar."

"Spike, how did you get in here?" Joyce asked.

"Funny thing, Joyce," he said as he stepped into the living room toward them. The two women backed up until they were backed against the fireplace. "Remember when Buffy invited me in a couple years ago? We had that whole truce thing going to keep Angel from destroying the world. Seems your daughter forgot to revoke the invitation."

"She'll kill you," Joyce said.

"She'll try," he said smugly. "Truth is I'm not here for her. Not yet."

He lunged forward and grabbed the two women. They struggled, but he was too strong. He threw Joyce across the room, sending her crashing into the desk. Tara watched in horror as she fell unconscious. Then Spike held Tara up against the fireplace and looked her up and down.

"You're a vampire," Tara said, stating the obvious in her panicked state. He smiled.

"I'm not just a vampire, pet," he said. He leaned forward until their faces were barely an inch apart. "I'm the vampire. The one that's going to kill the slayer."

He stepped back and then quickly punched Tara, causing her to fall into darkness.

Giles saw Buffy walking quickly down the street and he stopped. He assured her that Tara had made it safely back to her house and then offered Buffy a ride home. When he pulled back into Buffy's driveway, they were both alarmed to see the front door wide open.

"I only left them ten minutes ago," he said. The two of them got out of the car and hurried inside. Buffy's heart sank when she saw the mess by the desk and the pictures that had fallen off the mantle. She saw a slip of paper stuck to the wooden mantle with one of Buffy's own daggers. She pulled out the dagger and read the note.

"Got Joyce and your girlfriend. Come and get it. Spike."

"Spike's back in town?" Giles asked as Buffy handed him the paper.

"Where would he take them?" Buffy asked.

"He could be anywhere," Giles said, admittedly at a loss.

"No, he'll take them someplace where he knows I'll find him," she said. "Either the factory or the mansion on Crawford street."

She moved to her weapons trunk and pulled out some stakes and an axe, handing them to Giles. She stuffed some stakes in her jacket for herself and then pulled out a small crossbow.

"I'll take the mansion. Call Willow and Xander before you go, and check the factory," she said. "Call my cell phone if you find them."

"Buffy, you shouldn't go alone," Giles said.

"I'll manage," she said. "Spike's worn out his welcome in this town. He's dust."

She hurried out of the house on foot before Giles could protest. She vowed she would see Spike turn to dust, or she would die trying.