Hey guys! It's me, back again :)
So, I've counted, and I estimate that there will be about 14 chapters. Just so you know :)
I hate to spoil anything, but trigger warnings are so important, and I don't want to trigger anyone. So anyway, this is the chapter with the trigger warning for attempted suicide. It's not at all graphic, but it is present.
If you want to hear the song Isabella sings, you can look up I Dreamed a Dance on YouTube. It should be the first one.
Many thanks to Galaxina-the-Seedrian and "Rebb-R-001 for reviewing! I'm glad you guys are liking this story :)
So without further ado, to the chapter.
You know you love me, IzzytheGreat14
/\0/\0/\0/\0/\
Isabella followed her husband into her son's room.
Phineas was carrying a cardboard box filled with the boy's belongings. He turned on the light, turning to face Isabella.
"This is good, Izzy," he said, handing her the box and caressing her arm. "It's a good step."
Then he kissed her cheek and left her alone to go through her son's things.
She sat in the rocking chair she'd used to rock her baby to sleep countless times and opened the box.
The first item was an ivory blanket. Isabella smiled sadly and hugged it to her chest before setting it on her lap and reaching into the box for the next item.
It was a music box. Isabella gasped softly and opened it, her eyes filling with tears as she heard the familiar melody.
She hummed a few bars before she began to sing.
"I saw you light the ballroom
With your sparkling eyes of blue
Graceful as an angel's wing
I dreamed a dance with you.
You whispered slyly, softly.
You told me you would be true.
We spun around a thousand stars,
I dreamed a dance with you."
Isabella looked up as her son entered the room in a white tuxedo. He offered her his hand, and they began to waltz as she sang.
"I know the night is dying, dear.
I know the day will dawn.
The dancers may disappear, still the dance goes on."
Isabella stopped, trying hard not to cry. Her son pulled her close and she rested her head on his chest.
"And on…" he sang.
She sniffed, and continued.
"I'll wake alone tomorrow
The dream of our dances through."
Isabella's son pulled away and kissed her hands before he drew away and slowly walked to the door as she finished her song through tears.
"But now until forever, love,
I'll live to dance with you.
I'll dream, my love
I'll live, my love
And I'll die to dance with…"
Isabella's son froze, turning back to where his mother stood, hand over her mouth, tears streaming down her face. He walked back over to her.
"It doesn't have to be like this, Mom," he said gently. "I know a world where we can go where there's not any pain. We'll be free. I'll show you where it is. Come with me, Mom."
Isabella took the hand he offered, and took a few steps with him.
"Come with me. There's a world where we can be free…"
Isabella frowned, glancing at the picture resting on the top of the box. It was one of her with Phineas, holding her brand new son in a hospital bed.
"Phineas…" she whispered.
"Come with me," Isabella's son said, and Isabella, who had been hesitating before, let go of her inhibitions, and went with her son.
/\/
"Flynn, Isabella," Doctor Horowitz read from his clipboard. "Discovered unconscious at home. Multiple razor wounds to wrists and forearms. Self-inflicted. Saline rinse, sutures, gauze, IV antibiotics. Isolated, sedated, and restrained. Dammit."
He turned to where Phineas was standing.
"ECT is indicated," the doctor said.
"Wow. I mean, they still do that?"
"We do, yes. It's the standard in cases like this. She's got a long history of drug therapy and resistance, She's acutely suicidal. It's really our best option," Doctor Horowitz said.
"Well that's kinda...terrifying," Phineas said.
"It's not," the doctor soothed. "The electricity involved is barely enough to light a hundred watt bulb."
"Oh, well if it's just a hundred watt bulb…" Phineas cried sarcastically.
"It's safer than crossing the street, and the short term success rate is over eighty percent," the doctor said.
"I thought she was better," Phineas said quietly.
"Sometimes, patients recover just enough strength to follow through on suicidal impulses, but not enough strength to resist them," Doctor Horowitz informed.
"Well that seems very...fucked," Phineas muttered.
"Yes," the doctor agreed. "Now, for the ECT, legally we need her consent. Hospital policy is we need yours, too."
"I don't think she's gonna go for this," Phineas laughed darkly.
"Mr Flynn," the doctor said sternly. "We can administer the ECT and you can bring her home in ten days, or we can keep her sedated for 48 hours, then discharge her and wait for her to try again."
Phineas sighed, looking at his hands. The doctor frowned.
"Look, go home, take the night. We'll talk to her in the morning."
/\0/\0/\0/\
Phineas entered his son's room with a bucket, looking at the blood crusted on the rocking chair and floor.
"I don't know what to do," he sighed to himself. "I have to help her, but I don't even know where to start. All those fancy diagnoses and prognosis reports and medical terms they throw at us...in the end, nobody knows what's going to happen with her. Every day, it just gets worse and worse, and I know my fears want to be acknowledged, but I won't let them. I won't. I have to take care of Isabella. She's the most important thing."
He crossed the room and knelt by the chair, trying hard not to cry as he regarded the picture in the box. He quickly shoved the music box and the blanket on top of it and put the lid on.
"How could she do this?" he cried. "How could she? After all I've done, after all I've sacrificed for her… When she went flying, I kept her steady. And now that I need someone to help me out, there's nobody! I'm just so tired..."
Phineas didn't see his son in the doorway as he began to clean off the chair and the floor.
"I'm here, Dad," his son whispered. "I've always been here."
But Phineas just kept cleaning, and his son left.
"I've never had to face anything without her," he continued. "Can't anyone see this is killing me, too? I'm killing myself to help her. My suicide is just...slower. I've been at her side for years. We've had our highs and our lows, but this is the worst it's gotten. I know she's hurting, but I can't stop trying to help her. I need her. I can't do this alone."
Phineas dropped the rag he was using back into the bucket and sat on the floor for a moment, taking deep breaths. He would not cry. He had to be strong for Isabella.
He stood just as Marie appeared in the doorway of her brother's room.
"Dad, why didn't you take me with you?" she demanded.
"You know, we don't see much of you these days. Is this Thomas a good influence?" he said sharply, carrying the bucket past her and down to the kitchen. She followed.
"Like, compared to what?" Marie cried.
Phineas froze on the stairs, tilting his head to the side.
"Okay, that's fair," he admitted, continuing to the kitchen.
"What happened? Is she okay? The school just told me she was in the hospital," Marie said anxiously.
"She tried to kill herself," Phineas said shortly. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Dad!" Marie protested, but Phineas didn't respond, and Marie soon gave up, going to her room and pulling her secret stash of pills out of her sock drawer, ready to forget everything.