Never Gonna Be Alone
ELL'S POV:
Me, my sister, and the Cullen's were in the game room watching Without a Paddle. I was comfortably and happily leaning against Tyler. He had his arm draped around my shoulder and I had one of my arms wrapped around his waist while my head rested on his chest. There was a blanket covering both of us, which was silly considering we were vampires and didn't get cold.
I internally sighed and felt myself becoming saddened. You'd think after four years of being this way I'd be used to it. In some ways I was. But there are times where I still think and act completely human. I miss being human…I miss my mom and dad. I miss waking up early on the weekends and going to yard sales with my mom and then eating in the local diner after we were done and talk about all the weird things people had for sale. I miss coming home from school and waiting impatiently for my dad and uncle to come home with a truck load of gators to examine and sell. I missed when my biggest worry was deciding whether or not to text the guy I liked first or waiting for him to text me…now it's being out in public hoping the overcast sky doesn't suddenly become sunny making my skin do that weird sparkle thing making me look like a freak.
I glanced over at my older sister Bella. If anyone was meant to be a vampire, it was her. She was sitting with Edward…they were cuddled on an oversized chair that had been pulled closer to the TV. They were snuggled close laughing at the movie we were watching. Bella looked so happy. She looked like she belonged next to him. He had the same happy, and completely goofy look that she had on her face. There was no doubt they were mates. They'd be together before we left, I knew it.
I peeked up at Tyler and noticed that he, too, was laughing at the movie, I could feel his body vibrating against mine. He had this carefree laugh that made me wish I had a remote so I could press rewind and listen to it again and again. When I looked at him, I got major butterflies in my stomach and I found myself tripping over my words when he smiled at me. When I was next to him, it was like a part of me had become whole. Like he was my other half. When I wasn't with him, my heart felt heavy and I felt empty. He made me stop thinking about the past and focus on the present. About being happy now. I really was trying to accept everything better. I was trying not to blame myself for everything that had happened to me and Bella…
I closed my eyes tightly and stopped myself from going down a part of memory lane that wasn't very pleasant. I gritted my teeth and took a deep breath. I needed to stop letting the past ruin my life now. I was a vampire. Whether I liked it or not. I have to begin moving on. Mom and dad are still alive, and going on with their lives too. I know they are. It's time I did the same.
"Ell…? Ell, you okay?!" someone asked as they shook my shoulder.
My eyes snapped open and I looked around me. Everyone was staring at me concerned. Bella looked like she really wanted to talk to me but she didn't move from her spot by Edward. She looked extremely worried and I instantly felt bad for making her upset. I glanced up at Tyler and saw that he looked frantic. He was searching my face like he was desperately trying to figure out how to help. I quickly made up an excuse.
"I'm fine…I, um…I was just thinking about that one time when me and Bella went on a canoeing trip and she broke her wrist." I said hastily, faking a smile. Hopefully everyone would believe it.
Emmett's laughed echoed off the walls. Rosalie and Alice were laughing along and then Edward and Jasper joined in. I guess they believed it…I timidly met Bella's eyes. She looked like she didn't believe me, but I gave her a half-hearted smile that meant 'I'm fine.'
"Geez Bella! You sure were a clutz!" Emmett said as he laughed.
Bella let out a forced chuckle and said, "Yeah I was…"
She watched me for a moment longer before she gave up trying to read me and turned back to the movie. Bella never pushed anything unless I was willing to talk about it. I relaxed slightly, glad she wasn't going to interrogate me. The Cullen's went back to watching the movie. I've got to be more careful where I think about things at if I'm going to continue spacing out. I felt like someone was watching me, so I looked up and sure enough Tyler was watching me. The expression on his face told me he definitely didn't believe me. I should have known he wouldn't drop it. I made a move to get up, but he grabbed my arm and stopped me.
I stared at the ground, willing myself not to look into his eyes. I was trying my hardest to ignore the electric current running through my arm. But I could still feel his eyes on the side of my face.
"What's wrong?" Tyler asked lowly so no one could hear us.
"Nothing." I said in hopes of ending the conversation.
"Bullshit." his beautiful voice said sharply.
He was trying to make eye contact with me, but I refused. I needed to leave.
"I need to be alone." I said harshly as I yanked my arm away from his grip.
"Ell where are you going?" Bella asked alarmed.
'The forest. I need to think. Keep the Cullen's occupied without me. I'm gonna be a while.' I thought to her as I ran out of the room.
I kept running, ignoring the calls of people in the castle as I sped past them. I ran to my room and threw some things in my purple Nike backpack. When I was done, I ran out to my balcony. I jumped from the ledge and landed on my feet like always. I then took off running deep into the forest. Really deep into the forest. Had I been human and hiking, it would have taken a few hours to get to my destination. It took me about 7 minutes. I slowed as the trees came to an opening. I walked at a normal speed through the opening and sighed when I saw what was before me.
I was in a wide clearing. To my right, was a wide crystal blue river that was completely clear. There was a waterfall about 40 yards in front of the river. A huge log was placed by the river, Bella and I had moved it there a long time ago. We used to come out here for bonfires. The grass was plush and the greenest green ever. Patches of purple, yellow, and red wildflowers were scattered around. The trees that surrounded the clearing were massive, tall oaks. They were so high it looked like they touched the sky. I could hear birds chirping all around me up in the trees, and I could hear the little squirrels and chipmunks chattering back and forth. It was so peaceful here…
I sighed deeply and made my way over to the log, ignoring the way my skin sparkled in the sunlight. I sat on the soft grass and leaned against the log. I slowly looked around me and smiled at the silence. No vampires, no screams, no confinement. Just peace and nature. I decided I could let my mind wander now that I was alone. I got out the sketchpad and pencils I had brought with me from my bag. I flipped open to a new page and let my hand glide across the unmarred paper. My mind focused on memories as I drew. One not so bad thing about being this way, is how my mind could think and do multiple things a once. I didn't have to concentrate as hard. I was never good at multi-tasking…
"Ell! Stop daydreaming and pay attention!" Bella yelled at me.
I glared at her and looked down at myself. My apron and arms were covered in brownie batter and flour. Mom had given me the job of using the mixer. That was a bad idea. Instead of thinking about watching the mixer, I was thinking about the cute boy named Johnny in my reading class. I sheepishly looked at mom. She had cookie mix on her cheek and her apron was stained with batter as well. I looked at Bella and saw that she was a little cleaner, but her apron had been sprayed from my mishap as well…along with the counter…and the walls…and a few picture frames.
"Um…sorry?" I said with a shrug of my shoulders.
Mom laughed and Bella huffed. I rolled my eyes at her. For a 15 year old she sure was a stick in the mud.
"Oh lighten up Bells!" I exclaimed. "Baking is FUN, not serious!"
"Baking can be fun AND clean if you pay attention!" Bella said as she crossed her arms the way she always did when she tried to discipline me.
"Oh Bella…have a little fun…" Mom with a devious smile. Before Bella could reply, mom threw a handful of flour on her. There was a could of flour for a moment, but it soon settled down to reveal a surprised Bella. Her hair and face were now covered in the white flour.
Bella's surprise quickly turned to anger as she watched me and mom laughing at her. All of a sudden, something wet and sticky landed on my forehead. I stopped laughing and touched the goo on my head. It was brownie batter. I looked at Bella only to see that both of her hands with dripping with brownie mix and she was smirking. I glanced at mom and saw that she, too, had been a victim of Bella's assault. Only she had been hit square in the face. It was silent for a moment as we all stared at each other. But then as if on cue, we each started grabbing handfuls of batter and flour and began pelting each other.
We were all laughing and slipping on the slick floor. I could barely stand up because I was laughing so much. After about 20 minutes, I heard the front door open signaling dad was home.
"What is going on?" Dad asked alarmed as he rounded the corner into the kitchen.
Mom, Bella, and I stopped attacking each other. We stared at dad as he took in the complete mess we had made. His eyes were huge as he examined just how big of a mess we made.
"I thought y'all were baking! Not starting World War 3!" Dad exclaimed with a flail of his arms.
I looked at Bells and she grinned at me. We looked at mom and she nodded her head with an evil grin. Before dad could ask anymore questions, we each grabbed a handful of baking ingredients and threw them at him. Us three laughed at his shocked face. He stood there for a moment before sighing and walking away muttering about crazy women. That only caused us to laugh more.
I chuckled out loud at that memory. It had taken us three hours to clean up everything and I was completely banned from using the mixer ever again. Just cause I was thinking about a boy. I sighed and looked down at the picture I had drawn. Even my subconscious was thinking about Tyler because there he was on my sketch paper. Every feature almost as perfect as the real thing. His eyes were shining brightly and he had a huge smile on his face.
I stared at the picture for another moment before I groaned and sat my sketch book on the ground. I put my head in my hands and sighed. In two more months I'd be going back to America with the Cullen's…with Tyler. I haven't been part of a family for four years. Four long, hard years. Yes the Volturi took us in, but they weren't my family. They were like the really nice foster house you're sent to when you can't go anywhere else. I know that sounds incredibly mean but that's how I feel. I don't feel like I fit in here. Bella belongs in a place like this, but I don't. I belong somewhere in the country with a big house, a bunch of dogs and some cats, with a family, living on a bunch of land. Not a castle in Italy.
But I guess I really should be thankful I have somewhere to stay. I would hate to be a Nomad vampire that lives like an animal. At least I have most of my humanity left. I looked down at the picture again. I ran my finger lightly along the edge of my sketchbook. Tyler's beautiful gold eyes were staring at me, making something inside me stir.
I sighed before standing up and gathering my belongings. I took one last look around me before turning around and walking back to the castle. I decided to at least act like nothing was wrong, and make my last two months here as bearable as possible.
Hey Guys,
Here's two chapters! Hope you like them. Review please!
Love
Kelsey.