Chapter 7: Moving On Up To a Deluxe Apartment in the Sky

For the second time in as many days, Kara found herself waiting for the elevator that would take her to Lena's apartment. Yesterday the wait seemed to take forever. Today the doors opened almost as soon as she had pressed the button. Drawing Ali a bit closer to her chest, she reluctantly stepped inside. After only a brief hesitation, she punched the button that would take them to the top floor.

"It's going to be great," Kara promised the baby softly, not sure if she was trying to convince Ali, or herself. "You're going to have your very own room. Not just a crib pushed into the corner. Me, and Aunties Alex and Maggie, and your… and Lena spent all day yesterday getting it ready for you." Ali looked up at her intently, lulled by the sound of her voice, even if she didn't understand the actual words.

"You should see all the toys and stuff she bought," Kara continued, trying to keep her voice upbeat. "I know you're still a little bit too young to actually play with them yet, but in a few months, when you can get around a bit more, you're going to love it."

"And I'll come and visit you whenever you want," Kara promised. All too soon, the doors were sliding open, and Kara stepped off onto Lena's floor. She walked slowly down the hallway, hiking the diaper bag strap onto her shoulder.

She knew that Lena had everything that Ali would need, and more, but she had wanted to bring some of the baby's smaller items. The blanket that she had arrived in, that Ali had a hard time falling asleep without. The small stuffed dog that Kara had bought that Ali liked to put in her mouth and chew on.

Kara raised her hand to knock, but before she could make contact, the door swung open. Lena stood before her looking even more nervous than the day before.

"Are you ready for us?" Kara asked with a smile that she hoped conveyed more calm and confidence than she was actually feeling.

Lena nodded, moving back to allow them to enter. Her hand moved to her throat, reaching for a necklace that wasn't there. Lena noticed the direction of Kara's gaze and dropped her hand to her side.

"Habit," she responded with a shrug. "I figured after what happened last time, it would be better to be safe than sorry."

"Probably a good idea," Kara replied. She glanced down at the baby with a smile. "She does like to grab for anything shiny, and unfortunately, doesn't know her own strength."

Kara continued into the living room and took a seat on the couch, dropping the diaper bag next to her feet. Lena trailed behind, and unlike yesterday, sat beside Kara on the couch. Kara nodded towards the bag.

"I know you have just about anything you could ever need, but I wanted to bring over a few smaller things that she seems particularly fond of."

"That's very thoughtful, thank you," Lena answered. "I'm sure she'll like that."

"Of course," Kara responded. Kara fidgeted in her seat, not sure what to say next. She had never experienced this type of awkward silence with Lena before. With her hands clasped in her lap, and her gaze flitting to Ali, and then quickly away, Lena seemed similarly discomfited.

Kara let out an exasperated huff, shaking her head. "This is stupid," she said, mostly to herself. "Why is this so weird?" This was directed at Lena.

Lena held her stiff posture for another moment, before slumping back against the couch. "I don't know," Lena said ruefully. "I suppose it's not totally unexpected. This isn't exactly a routine situation."

Kara laughed. "Thank Rao for that. Can you imagine?"

"I'd rather not," Lena responded. "Living it once is more than enough."

The tension broken, Kara slumped back on the couch and turned her head to meet Lena's gaze. "This all must seem so surreal," Kara offered. In the few days that had passed since breaking the news to Lena, Kara realized she had never actually gotten the chance to just talk to her. As a friend. Other than when she had first broken the news to Lena, and the brief exchange they had at the DEO, she hadn't spent any time alone with Lena since Ali's arrival.

Kara frowned softly. Actually, it was longer than that. Thinking back over the past few months, Kara concluded that they hadn't spent any time together, just to hang out, since before the invasion. They had seen each other, surely, but it had always been at one public event or another. The frown marring Kara's brow grew deeper. She had been so busy, truthfully, they both had, that she hadn't consciously noticed.

"Are you okay?" Lena asked, breaking into Kara's thoughts.

Kara mustered up a smile and shook her head. Now wasn't the time to dig into the state of their friendship. Even if she had been remiss over the last few months, she wanted to be here for Lena now. "I'm fine," she insisted. "I think I should be the one asking you that," Kara joked.

Lena gazed at her silently for a moment, looking like she wanted to say more, but instead, she shrugged. "I'll adapt. I always do. People face far more trying situations every day. Most without even a fraction of the resources I have at my disposal."

"That's a very diplomatic answer," Kara acknowledged. She tilted her head to the side. "So….totally freaking out then?"

Lena held her composure for another moment, before letting out a slightly manic laugh. "Absolutely."

Kara laughed along with her friend. The motion disturbed Ali, who had started to nod off. The baby let out an unhappy cry. "I'm sorry," she apologized to the baby. "That was very rude of us." Kara glanced at the clock. It's really close to her nap time anyway. It may be a good idea if we just put her down."

"Oh, of course," Lena jumped up, but then stood still, not sure what to do next.

Kara rose from the couch. "Did you want to put her down?" Kara offered hesitantly. Part of Kara selfishly wanted to do it herself, not knowing when her next chance to spend time with Ali would be, but the other part of her knew that Lena was going to have to take over at some point.

Lena looked unsure, but before she could refuse, or Kara could change her mind, she was pushing the baby into Lena's arms.

"Go on," Kara said encouragingly, making sure Lena had a firm grasp on Ali before pulling her hands back. "She likes to take a bottle before her afternoon nap. You go get settled with her, and I'll heat it up and bring it to you."

Kara was already reaching for the diaper bag, and reaching in to grab one of the bottles she had brought over.

Still looking uncertain, Lena nevertheless nodded her head. "Okay. Do you need any help in the kitchen? I can get a pot out first," Lena temporized.

Kara paused in her search, and looked up at Lena, tapping the side of her glasses. "I'll be fine. Now, go." Kara shooed Lena towards the hallway.

"And here we have your room," Lena informed the infant who was watching her with rapt attention. She felt more than a little silly talking to someone that couldn't talk back, but she had quickly figured out that if she was talking, Ali would focus on her. If she stopped, the baby was much more likely to start fussing. Given the choice between a crying infant, and feeling a little silly, Lena would choose the latter.

Knowing that it would take Kara at least a few minutes to heat the bottle, Lena had decided to take Ali on a quick tour of the apartment, finally ending in the nursery.

Lena looked in the room, still marveling at the transformation from yesterday. What had once been a jumble of boxes and bags, was now a neatly ordered, and welcoming space. It had taken all four of them to get the space into shape, and Lena realized that she would never have been able to do it all herself.

"I know it's rather….bland," Lena confided, taking a seat in the rocking chair. She pushed off with the balls of her feet and started gently rocking back and forth. While Lena had easily filled the room with items, she tended to leave decorating to the professionals. The paint and rugs were the same as when she had used the room as a guest room.

"We can change it if you want." Lena shook her head lightly. It wasn't like the baby was going to have an opinion on the decor. Ali babbled happily and gave her a toothless smile. At least Lena was pretty sure it was a smile. According to the books she had read, it could also be indigestion. "Do you like that idea?" Lena asked softly.

Ali let out a small grunt and flailed her arms excitedly. Lena pulled back, not wanting to accidentally get caught by a stray fist. They may be small, but Lena suspected they would still leave a mark. Explaining a baby to everyone was going to be hard enough, she didn't want to add a black eye to the mix.

"Like what idea?" Kara asked, crossing the room and handing Lena the warmed bottle.

"Thank you. That was fast," Lena said, taking the bottle from Kara with a faint crease between her brows. Lena had spent almost all of her free time, when she wasn't panicking over her decision, reading every parenting and childhood development book she could get her hands on. She knew that microwaving was a no-go, and she also knew that the bottle warmer in her kitchen had a three-and-a-half minute cycle. By her measure, the tour with Ali had only taken a bit more than a minute.

"I've been perfecting my technique," Kara replied proudly.

Lena looked down at the bottle in concern. "You didn't hit this with your heat vision did you?"

"Pfft. No, of course not. I would never do that." Kara reached up to adjust her glasses. "Again." A faint blush stained her cheeks. "I put it in a pot, and heat the water. The trick is to get the water to a boil as quickly as possible. Without, you know, vaporizing it first."

Lena nodded her head, as though that was a totally normal sentence. She supposed for Kara it was. While she now knew the truth about Kara and her powers, they hadn't really spent a lot of time talking about them. While Lena was fascinated, she didn't want to give Kara the wrong impression of her interest. Especially given her family history.

"I guess I won't need that fancy bottle warmer I bought when you're here," Lena teased.

"I'm handy to keep around," Kara teased back.

Before Lena could formulate a response, an unhappy grunt caught her attention. Ali was staring at the bottle, held just out of her reach, with an unhappy frown on her face. Her face started to crumple in frustration, and she let loose an angry cry. Before she could work herself into a full-blown tantrum, Lena popped the nipple into the baby's mouth. Ali let out a satisfied grunt, not unlike one Lena had heard Kara make after shoving a pot sticker in her mouth, and started nursing vigorously on the bottle. A small stream of formula leaked out of her mouth and dribbled down her chin.

Lena looked at Kara, one eyebrow raised. "She seems to have picked up your table manners," Lena deadpanned.

Kara flushed bright red. "I've been getting better!" Kara defended herself. "Maggie refused to go out to eat with me if I didn't learn to slow down."

Lena felt a twinge of regret at the joke. She hadn't meant to upset Kara, or make her feel embarrassed. Though they hadn't spent much time together recently, Lena found herself falling easily into the old patterns of their relationship. She had missed the gentle, teasing banter, but she realized that maybe Kara hadn't taken it that way.

"I was only kidding, Kara," Lena said gently. "You have impeccable table manners." Which, wasn't exactly true, at least not by Luthor standards. But then again, very few people would live up to those.

"You don't have to lie to make me feel better," Kara replied. Lena opened her mouth to correct her but stopped when she saw the half smile on Kara's face. It seemed maybe she had missed their teasing as well.

"Well, you know us Luthors; we just can't help ourselves." There was perhaps a bit more sting to the statement than Lena intended, but other than a fleeting frown, Kara let the self-inflicted barb pass.

Kara crossed her arms behind her back and turned in a slow circle, taking in the nursery. "The room really came together."

"It did," Lena acknowledged. "Be sure to thank your sister and Detective Sawyer for me again when you see them."

Kara turned back to her, a frown creasing her brow. "Why can't you just tell them yourself?"

"Well, I don't really know when, or if, I'll be seeing them again," Lena admitted. Lena had grudgingly accepted help from the trio the other day because she realized that much as she may want to, she couldn't do this alone. At least not yet.

She would be lying if she said she didn't enjoy spending time with Kara once again. It was like a balm to her battered sense of self. But however good it made Lena feel, she had every intention of maintaining the distance she had established over the last few months. She wouldn't keep Kara from seeing Ali, it wouldn't be fair to either one, but she didn't intend to include herself in their relationship. Ali deserved all the warmth, goodness, and love Kara had to offer. Lena didn't.

The frown on Kara's face deepened, and she crossed her arms across her chest. "You don't have to do this alone you know," Kara insisted. "It's not a crime, or an imposition, to ask your friends for help."

"I know that, Kara. And I will be the first to ask for help if I need it," Lena lied easily. She gave a soft laugh. "However, I would hardly call your sister or Detective Sawyer friends."

"The could be if you would let them," Kara stated, not swayed by Lena's sarcasm.

"I've never been the best at making, or keeping, friends."

"What about us? If you managed it with me, you can figure it out again," Kara asserted confidently.

Lena didn't have the heart, or the energy, to contradict her. Lena was convinced that the only reason she had been able to maintain a relationship with Kara as long as she had, was because of the blonde woman herself. No other person in her past had ever stuck by her like Kara, and Lena was sure it was just Kara's innate optimism and faith in others that had her still staying around. Anyone else would have given up on her by now. Everyone else already had.

"I'm sure you're right," Lena responded, somewhat unconvincingly. "But right now, I need to figure out what to do next…" Lena looked down pointedly at the now sleeping baby, the bottle now empty, but still in her mouth.

"Oh!" Kara exclaimed quietly. "Of course." Kara walked closer, and removed the bottle, having to a give a somewhat less than gently tug to dislodge it. "She's a pretty sound sleeper," Kara confided. Puting a steadying hand on Lena's shoulder, Kara urged her to stand. It was slightly awkward, not using her arms to assist, but Lena managed the move without too much jostling.

"If you just lay her on her back, she should be all set. Feeding her really seems to put her out, and once she's there, it's pretty smooth sailing."

Lena laid Ali gently on her back and slid her hands out from under the infant. She stood beside the crib for a few moments, making sure the baby was going to remain asleep, but when Ali showed no signs of waking, slowly backed out of the room, pulling the door closed behind her.

Lena turned to Kara with a relieved smile. "Well, that was surprisingly easy. Maybe this won't be so hard after all."

It was not easy.

Lena paced the length of her living room, a screaming Ali bouncing gently in her arms. No matter what she tried, she couldn't get the baby to stop crying. She had tried feeding her, but she wasn't hungry. Changing her, but she wasn't wet.

When Ali had gone down so easily this afternoon, Lena had been lulled into a false sense of security. Kara had offered to stay a bit longer, but Lena had insisted that she would be fine. She had monopolized enough of Kara's, and by extension Supergirl's, time. Lena knew how much the city needed the Girl of Steel right now. Surely Lena would be able to manage one small infant.

Once Ali had woken from her nap, Lena realized she required a diaper change. While not her favorite activity ever, it had been accomplished with minimal complications. After that, Ali had seemed to be mostly content as long as she was being held, or in motion. Lena had discovered, when she had to put the baby somewhere so she could use the bathroom, that Ali seemed to have a great affinity for the mamaRoo Lena had purchased. Her confidence had increased.

While it had been exhausting, Lena had managed. Maybe she could do this after all.

Now, after an hour of non-stop crying, Lena wasn't so sure. She had almost cracked and called Kara for help. Only pure, bull-headed stubbornness had stopped her. Either she was going to be able to do this, or she wasn't. If she wasn't capable of handling it, then she may need to accept defeat.

"Please stop crying," Lena pleaded, coming perilously close to begging. Luthors never begged, but in this case, Lena was willing to make an exception. "I don't know what you want. I've tried feeding you, changing you, rocking you. What else is left?" Lena knew she wasn't going to get a response, wasn't even sure if the baby could hear her over the sound of her own crying.

She had consulted the books, but they had proven to be no help. Ali was too young to be cutting teeth, and the chances of her being ill were slim. By all accounts, she had inherited the same near impenetrable immune system as her Kryptonian cousins. Lena made a soft, shushing sound in Ali's ear, but that too, had no effect.

One book had recommended that she should simply let the baby cry herself to sleep. Lena had cracked after five minutes of listening to her distressed wails. She didn't care what the stupid book said, there was no way she was going to just sit there and ignore a baby that was obviously in distress. Unfortunately, her presence didn't seem to offer any relief.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Lena halted her pacing, her back turned to her balcony. She knew exactly what, or more precisely whom, she would see when she turned around. Lena closed her eyes and let out a sigh. As if it wasn't bad enough that she was failing miserably at this whole caretaker thing, now Kara was here to bear witness to her deficiency. Maybe she had decided that this was all a mistake, and was here to rescue Ali from her clutches.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Drawing a breath to collect herself, Lena turned to face the wall of glass. Kara, in all her Supergirl glory, stood on the other side, patiently waiting to be let in, hands clasped behind her back, and looking sheepish. Lena motioned with her head that Kara was free to enter. She didn't have the energy to cross the room and open the doors, and it was unnecessary; they didn't have a lock.

Kara stepped inside, sliding the door closed behind her. It never got truly cold in National City, but there was still a distinct chill in the air.

"Is someone giving you a hard time?" Kara inquired, inching slowly towards the pair.

"I've tried everything. She's not hungry, she's not wet. I suspect she's tired, but I can't get her to go to sleep." Lena shook her head.

"Do you want me to give it a try?" Kara offered, hands still held behind her back. Lena suspected she was forcing herself not to simply grab the baby and fly away from Lena as quickly as possible. Why on earth had she ever thought she could handle this?

Lena hesitated only a moment, before offering the still crying baby to Kara. While it was a relief to have a little distance from the loud crying, it felt like a failure. Lena was only slightly heartened by the fact that the baby still continued to cry, even in Kara's embrace.

Once she had the baby in her arms, Kara seemed to tune out the outside world. She hummed quietly to Ali and spoke to her softly, but Lena couldn't understand what she was saying. Bouncing the still upset baby in her arms, Kara continued to whisper to her softly, as she made her way towards the nursery. Lena contemplated following but discarded the idea. She wasn't going to be any use there.

Instead, she entered the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of red wine from her extensive selection. Such was her preoccupation, she didn't even stop to examine the vintage. Her mother would be horrified. Wine was meant to be savored, appreciated, not guzzled without a thought.

Lena poured herself a healthy glass and downed half of it in one swallow.

Refilling the glass, Lena drummed her fingers restlessly on the counter, as she gazed out at the National City skyline. It was probably for the best that Kara had come. Obviously, Lena wasn't cut out for this, and the child would be better off with someone else. With anyone else. Lena was sure that once Kara got Ali settled, she would come to tell her just that.

By the time Kara found her, the bottle was almost empty.

"Rough night?" Kara asked quietly, pulling out one of the stools around Lena's kitchen island, and taking a seat.

"I've had better." Lena took another healthy swallow of wine. "Though, I've also had worse. At least she wasn't trying to kill me," Lena replied contemplatively. Lena took another drink. "Which is more than I can say for most other members of my family." Lena drew a deep breath. It was probably better just to get this over with. "Look, Kara, this was obviously a mi-"

"Why didn't you call me?" Kara interrupted her.

Lena blinked, her mind ever so slightly fuzzy from the wine. "Call you?"

"For help," Kara clarified. "I seem to remember having a conversation, in this very apartment, with you about this very subject earlier today."

"If I can't handle a crying baby, then this whole thing was probably a mistake," Lena replied sharply. Lena shook her head. "I don't know what I was thinking. This whole thing was obviously a-"

"Stop it," Kara commanded firmly. Lena snapped her mouth shut and glared at Kara reproachfully. She didn't appreciate being interrupted. Not even by Kara. "You've had her for all of 8 hours. Did you really expect that you would have this whole baby thing perfected by now?"

Lena looked at Kara sullenly. "Of course not," she said archly. Not perfect, that would be insanity, but surely at least capable of the basics. She was a Luthor. Luthors didn't fail; it wasn't allowed.

Kara sighed, shaking her head. "It's okay to ask for help, Lena. I promise, no one is going to think less of you if you need a hand on your first day, or your tenth, or your hundredth. You don't have to suffer through Ali crying for over an hour. Help is just a phone call away."

"I'll try to remem- how did you know it was an hour?" Lena eyed Kara suspiciously. She may be a little fuzzy, but she knew that hadn't told Kara that detail when she arrived.

Kara flushed and shifted nervously on her seat. "Don't be mad," Kara pleaded, hands held up. "Alex always gets mad, but I wasn't doing it to spy on you. Sometimes I honestly can't help it, and my senses just tune in. I mean, if I could fully control it, do you really think I would want to see and hear some of the things I have seen and heard? No, no I would not."

"Kara," Lena said wearily, rubbing her temples, where a headache was starting to develop. "It's late. I'm tired. Please stop rambling and get to the point."

"Right," Kara said with a nod. "So, I may have been unconsciously, or a little consciously, listening in on Ali." Seeing Lena's slight frown, Kara hastened to add, "I wasn't spying on you! I promise. I was just worried about how you and Ali were doing, and not because I didn't trust you. I was just worried. And then I heard Ali crying. And Lena, you were doing a great job, you were, but it wasn't working. And I kept waiting for you to give me a call, even just to ask for tips, but you didn't," Kara said with a frown. "I couldn't just keep ignoring it. Even if all I could do was keep you company."

"Clearly I needed more than that," Lena admitted softly, in the now peaceful apartment. "Whatever you did for her worked." Lena shook her head. "Maybe I'm not cut out for this…"

Kara reached across the space separating them and grabbed Lena's hand. "If you honestly don't want her here, I'm not going to try to convince you to keep her. But Lena, please don't let one bad first day, and not even a whole day, just the end bit, convince you that this was a mistake."

Kara looked at her earnestly, faith and confidence fairly radiating from her eyes, and Lena bit her lip. That look would be the death of her one of these days.

"How do you know the rest of the day wasn't a disaster too?" Lena probed. She had her suspicions, and they were all but confirmed when Kara averted her gaze.

"Oh, um. I mean I just assumed.." Kara met Lena's pointed gaze and gave up, shoulders slumping. Kara really was a terrible liar. "I'm sorry," Kara replied. "I promise I won't keep spying on you." Kara bit her lip. "I was just worried, and I probably went a little overboard with the checking in. A lot overboard." Kara smiled at her brightly. "You really were doing so good though! You know, up until that last bit."

Lena knew she should be mad, it was a horrible invasion of privacy, but at the moment, she just couldn't muster up any outrage. Almost everything Kara did was for some altruistic purpose. If she hadn't been listening in, and come to the rescue, Lena may have joined Ali in her crying by now.

"Thank you," Lena responded tiredly. She rubbed her temples again, trying to ease the tension, and failing. Kara looked at her in concern, biting gently on her bottom lip, and looking like she desperately wanted to say something. "Whatever you want to say, just say it."

"So, I've been thinking, and it's totally okay if you want to say no. I don't want you to feel like you have to say yes, or that I'm doing this because I don't have faith in you. Because I totally do, and that's not the reason. At all."

"Kara…."

"Right, sorry. I've been trying to work on the rambling, but when I get nervous it sometimes gets away from me. And right now I'm really kin-"

"Kara…"

"Sorry. Again." Kara drew a deep breath. "I was thinking that, if you wanted, I could maybe give you a hand with Ali. You know, until you settle in a bit, and get the hang of it all."

Lena frowned at Kara in confusion. "Why would that make you nervous to ask me? You've been offering to help since the beginning."

"And I meant it," Kara insisted. "But giving you a hand when you ask for it is a bit different than moving in for a while. I mean, I don't know if you would even want to-"

"You want to move in? With me?" Lena asked blankly. She looked at the bottle of wine for confirmation that she had, in fact, only drank the one. Surely being drunk was the only explanation for the current conversation. She must be drunk and hallucinating.

Kara nodded. "To help with, Ali," Kara clarified, as though Lena would maybe think there was another reason Kara would want to move in with her. In her dreams maybe. A frown creased Kara's face. "Did I not say that? I mean to say that. But yes, if you want, I could move in here, just for a little while, and give you a hand."

Kara looked so earnest, and eager to please, that Lena felt like an ogre for what she was about to do. There was no way she could allow Kara to move in with her, even temporarily. She was supposed to be reestablishing the distance she had put between them. Not moving Kara into her guest room and playing house.

Lena shook her head. "Kara, I really don't think that's a good idea…"

"Why not?" Kara insisted, arms crossed. Yes Lena, why ever not? Lena barely resisted the urge to laugh hysterically.

"You're already so busy, the last thing you need to worry about is changing diapers in your spare time. This isn't your responsibility. Your time is better spent elsewhere."

Now Kara looked mad. Lena pulled back slightly, having only seen that look on Kara's face a few times. The most recent being about a week ago in her office when she declared she wanted nothing to do with Ali.

"When are you going to understand that this isn't about responsibility or obligations. It's about family. Nothing is more worthy of my time than my family." Kara shook her head sadly. "If you don't want me here, just say so, but don't make it seem because there is something more important I should be doing."

Well, now Lena felt like shit. No matter how hard she tried, she seemed to keep upsetting the blonde. Maybe it was the alcohol or the memory of spending over an hour listening to Ali cry, and not being able to do anything to help, or maybe it was just the desire to see Kara smile at her once more. Or perhaps whatever insanity lurked in Lex's mind hadn't skipped her after all.

Whatever it was, Lena found herself reaching across and grasping Kara's hand. When the blonde slowly raised her eyes to meet Lena's, Lena smiled at her. "You're right. I'm sorry if I implied otherwise." Kara's expression relaxed a bit, but her face still held a fair amount of tension. "If you really want to, and you're sure it won't be a problem, I would be happy to have your help."

A full, wide smile immediately covered Kara's face. "Great!" she said, jumping up eagerly. "I brought a bag. Just in case. I'll go grab it."

Lena dropped her head onto the counter in defeat. "Of course you did."