It's been awhile, huh? Well, in the interim, I did start a couple of other fics. Also, my exams ended, so I felt free to do other things, which led to my neglect of this fic. But no worries, I shall not abandon this. It's just getting interesting…

Resonance

07: It is better that I, unlovable, died as I am

She had found him near the house, just deep enough in the woods that the lights were obscured by the trees. At first, she nearly thought that the unconscious figure she'd found was a girl. It wasn't until after she had begun undressing him that she realised that, no, in spite of the pink dress, he was not a girl. Definitely not a girl.

It was so late that it was early when she'd found him, and by then, there was no one around to help her drag him home. Of course, she would never have done such a dangerous thing had she known that he wasn't, well, female. Their house was in the middle of nowhere, far too close to the foreboding wood, and there were only the two of them in it, her mother and herself.

However, what was done was done and she couldn't just throw him out after that.

Besides, he looked like an angel when he slept.

Having completed her morning chores, she decided to check in on her foundling. Cracking the door open a notch, she peered in. He stared right back, a look of pure, unadulterated loathing crossing his face. Instinct took over as she slammed the door shut and began to run.

-

Red. Red, red, red, red. The pollution. Tainted. Tainted. Destroy the tainted.

Physical pain, he could ignore, willing the exhausted body to chase the girl that was running away. As he burst out of the house and into the garden, he was hit by a stream of water.

Water…

"Geostigma is not your priority. You know that, don't you?"

And he was drowning. A consciousness returning to the body in the lake, feeling muscle re-form over bone. The pressure, the cold, the darkness; water pressing against naked flesh before the skin could grow again. Crushing him. The need to breathe returns twenty feet below the surface, reflex kicking in over and over again as newly formed muscles struggle to move the body toward the air.

Drowning and drowning but never dying once.

Crawling out of the cold, coughing out water and tissue, in pain. It took time for the lungs to air out, for breathing to stop being torture, for screaming to become possible.

He'd dropped his sword, cowering into himself as the girl drenched him with the element of life and death. For a moment, neither could tell which was more afraid of the other,

-

He was discovering things about his new form that he hadn't had time to think about. Firstly, there was the great increase in brute strength he was capable of. Casually, he caught the monster's head in his hand and turned it into a smear on blood on the rocky ground. He hardly needed the cleaver for such low-level creatures. They were beginning to learn. In fact, for the last hour or so, he had had to actively hunt down those little monsters for more experimentation.

Secondly, he could, to a small extent, manipulate reality. It was probably just tapping into a part of Sephiroth's ability. But it meant that he got his coat back… and the second Velvet Nightmare. He wasn't going to use it, of course. Sephiroth had been adamant about that, ranting about the differences between close combat and distance combat, though, in his opinion, using the Masamune counted as a range attack. Besides, it was Loz's gun. He wasn't going to dirty it.

The third thing he noticed when he bent over a pool to drink.

"What are these?" he exclaimed, staring at his reflection.

"Anyone can tell that they're fangs," replied the voice in his head.

Scowling, Yazoo got up from the pool's edge. "I think the question should have been, 'WHY?'" he shot back.

"To help you collect Mother's remaining scattered cells." The answer came back matter-of-factly.

"Eat them." His voice rang hollowly in the still air. "You were serious about that? So now I'm to be some kind of vampire?"

"Does the idea of cannibalism disturb you?" mocked Sephiroth.

"Is it cannibalism when I'm not human?" retorted Yazoo calmly. A smirk twisted his features. "Don't forget, you're the one who was born to a human mother, not me."

"I threw that away the moment I found my real Mother," came the reply, a hint of a sneer in the voice.

"Threw what away? Your humanity?"

"What do you think? When faced with the choice of being a human pawn or a God, isn't the choice obvious?"

Yazoo said nothing, smirk still plastered on his otherwise expressionless face. Oh, the irony. Who ever knew that the great General was so utterly human?

-

He still had bad memories of water, but he dutifully washed the dirt from his body, toweling off on a fluffy chocobo print towel. Nii-san had found some old clothes for him, the ones that the orphans shared. The dull, earthy colours only served to emphasise his unnatural pallor, his intense green eyes and the silver hair that marked him as different.

Nii-san had said no.

He looked into the mirror to see a small child staring back, shame burning in those wide eyes. Why was it that relief was the only emotion he felt when he was denied of the right to have his revenge? How could he even wish that aniki didn't exist, just so that he could stay here with nii-san, with Cloud, without worrying about Sephiroth? What kind of a brother was he?

And yet, this was supposed to be his second chance, was it not? He would finally be allowed to live, to grow up, to make friends… but it wouldn't be complete without Yazoo… would it?

How could he even consider such a possibility!

Aniki had always looked after him. It was Yazoo who, despite the occasional jibe, sat with him when he cried. It was Yazoo who shielded him from the worst of Kadaj's sadistic nature. It was Yazoo, with his steadfast belief and deep faith, who made everything seem okay. They were going to find their mother and everything would just fall into place.

In the end, it was probably Yazoo who felt the most betrayed. And, in spite of that, he'd made a deal with Sephiroth so that Loz could come back.

How could he even have considered turning away from his brother when Yazoo gave up so much for him?

He'd been in the bathroom long enough. Hesitantly, he peeped out to check that the coast was clear. Even though nii-san was okay with him, he wasn't sure if the other inhabitants of the house were as willing to accept him. It was best not to run into them unless he was with nii-san. Looking around carefully, he stepped out of the bathroom and into the corridor.

He froze.

There were two children staring down the hallway at him. He knew them. The boy was part of Kadaj's little troop, one of the many children they'd picked up back then. The girl was the one he personally kidnapped. She was nice; she talked to him like an equal until Kadaj got annoyed and assigned Yazoo to watch her. Then she didn't talk so much, because Yazoo could be really scary when you were a little kid. He'd know.

"Please don't let them recognise me."

The boy frowned at him, eyes darting to the shock of silver hair in suspicion. "Who are you?" he demanded, stepping unconsciously in front of the girl, defensively.

"I… I…" Loz stammered. What was he going to say? Without his noticing, he'd already taken a few steps backward. "My name is Loz," he replied finally, very, very softly, head bowed, eyes fixed on the boy, ready to run.

The girl took a step forward, then smiled slightly, causing him to look up in surprise. "Don't be scared, no one is going to hurt you here," she told him. Then, looking past the stunned Loz, "Cloud!"

He felt the hand casually ruffling his hair. Looking up, he saw a shadow of worry in nii-san's eyes. Worried… that he was not as harmless as he seemed?

"Is he going to stay here?" asked the girl cheerfully. "He can come help us with the morning chores."

"He stays with me," said Cloud shortly. Seeing Marlene's confused expression and Denzel's dark look, he forced a small, sad smile. "He's been through a lot in the past day or so, so I'm going to get him settled first, okay? I'll introduce him to the rest of you later."

Marlene nodded gravely, shooting Loz a pitying look, obviously assuming the worst. On his part, he hid behind Cloud's legs and watched the children walk pass.

"Are you concerned that I would harm them?" he asked quietly when they were gone.

"Tifa wouldn't have liked it," replied Cloud just as quietly, absently stroking the silver hair.

At that, the treacherous thoughts returned. If only he could just be a normal child, if only…

-

The… man (creature? monster?) was now screaming, shrinking away from the water as if it burned him. It was such a pained, desperate cry that she hesitated, turning the hose down.

"Who are you and why are you trying to kill me?" she managed to ask, pleased that her voice wasn't trembling too perceptibly. "Tell me or I'll turn the hose on you again." It sounded ridiculous, as though she was talking to a dog, but apparently, it worked.

Hateful green eyes glared up at her. His voice startled her, sounding so much younger than she'd expected. "You are tainted… Geostigma…" he rasped. "Return you to the planet… purification…" He trailed off, collapsing in obvious pain, breathing harshly.

While she was beginning to understand his motivations, she was, however, not prepared to die for the planet. However, the sight of the youth curled up in her now-muddy garden tugged at her heartstrings and she carefully turned off the hose, aiming it at the young man.

"While it is obvious you are on some kind of mission to 'save the planet', I will not hesitate to harm you if you wish to harm me," she told him matter-of-factly. "However, I am sympathetic to what you seem to be doing, so let's make a deal."

She'd underestimated the swordsman. In the moment she let down her guard, he was by her side, double-bladed sword pressed to her throat.

"Yes, let's make a deal," he whispered by her ear. Even through her fear, she could hear that he was on the brink of collapse. "Food, clothes, shelter and passage from this place. Then I'll leave you alive until it's time for me to leave here."

"What kind of a…"

"Say 'no', you die."

"…alright."

Then the youth did collapse again. Still, she would keep her side of the bargain. Perhaps she could convince him not to keep his.

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