Author's Note: Don't own Soul Eater.
It's All in Your Head
by: Setkia
"It's okay," I say. "I trust you, Soul."
Soul's fingers are bruising my windpipe, spots are blurring my vision, I can't ... I can't breathe.
"Still trust me, Maka?" he asks.
"I love you. I hate you. I like you. I hate you. I love you. I think you're stupid. I think you're a loser. I think you're wonderful. I want to be with you. I don't want to be with you. I would never date you. I hate you. I love you … I think the madness started the moment we met and you shook my hand. Did you have a disease or something?" —Shannon L. Adler
seven
Stein stares at us. Clearly, he's in shock.
I hurt all over, my bones aching and the blood feels like it's made a home underneath my fingernails but there's nothing real on my body. I need a shower.
Stein will be keeping Soul for a few more days, making sure he's alright, checking to see if any mental injuries have transferred over into the physical world. I promise him I'll be right back after a shower.
When I return with a sleepover bag, he looks surprised, like he wasn't expecting me.
We don't talk about what's happened. He teases me about the books I read, I tell him to chew with his mouth closed. It's as if nothing has happened.
Things get a bit complicated when Papa comes by, kicking the door open in that stupidly loud way of his.
"MAKA-CHAN!"
I roll my eyes. Soul has a headache, I have a headache, and I'm not in the mood for a lecture right now. I open my mouth to tell him so, when he wraps his arms around me tightly. I nearly drop my book.
"Are you okay?" he whispers in my ear, and I shiver pleasantly.
Papa does a lot of things wrong, but every now and then he does things just right.
"I'm fine, Papa," I tell him, rubbing circles on his back.
He turns to Soul. "You," he snarls, and I suppose it can't last forever. "You listen here, Soul Eater," he spits out the word like it's venom, "Don't think I don't know what sort of danger you put my daughter through."
"I know."
"You better not do something stupid like this again."
"Cool guys don't make the same mistake twice," Soul huffs, his fringe lifting a little.
Papa nods firmly. "That's right."
What is this? Soul's having a civil conversation with Papa?
"It's why you're so lame."
Ah. There is it.
Papa's back to his loud, obnoxious self, ready to throw the first punch even though Soul's in a literal hospital bed. Stein shoos him out, and the room falls into silence.
I glance over at Soul, who glances at me.
We bought burst into laughter.
A few more people visit. Black*Star brings Soul some of his favourite video games, and says he won't go easy on him just cause his dumb ass is stuck in the hospital. Blair comes in, and it's not as disastrous as I thought it would be. She hugs him tightly and mourns the lack of him in the apartment, says she'll be cooking dinner for us when he gets released.
Tsubaki drops by with the homework he and I have missed. When she leaves, he turns to me.
"You don't have to do this, you know."
"Do what?"
"Stay here. I'm not going to break."
"I know that, idiot," I say, rolling my eyes. "You're too cool for that, right?"
"Right." It sounds dry.
"Besides. I said I'd stay if you want me to. Do you want me to?"
Soul sighs dramatically. "I was trying to give you an out."
"I don't want an out. You can keep pushing me away, Soul, but I'll keep coming back."
He falls back against his pillows, messing up the sheets. "I just … I know your whole … Down-With-Men thing you've got going on so …"
"Down With Men?" I echo. "Wow, I sound terrible."
"Terrible for my heart."
I laugh. "Did you really just say that?"
"You're terrible for my brain. All intelligence just flies out my ears," he says but he's got a stupid smile on his face.
"You don't get to 'give me an out'," I say. "You haven't even asked me what I think of all this, you've just assumed. So if you'll shut your stupid face, I'll tell you what I'm thinking and we can save ourselves the time."
He bites his lip, grits his teeth, like he's bracing himself for a hurricane or something stupid like that.
"You're so stupid."
"Gee, thanks—"
"Nope, my turn to talk, remember?" I cut him off. "You're stupid, and infuriating, and you do so much impulsive shit, you drive me absolutely crazy."
"Did you just swear?" he chuckles. I raise my book and he curls into the bed. "Continue."
"You make fun of me all the time, and you're not an easy person to live with, but you know, I like that about you. I like you, Soul. Maybe I don't love you, but I feel like I could. You're different, Soul.
"You're not my Papa. We're not going to make the same mistakes Papa did. Or maybe we will, but I'm willing to try. If you screw this up before we even start, so help me, I'll kill you myself! There's a lot we have to work out, but we would've had to work out a lot of stuff anyway, and if you want this, and I want this, then why shouldn't we? We could be so good together, if you'd just …"
And Soul starts laughing, tossing his head back and shaking so much, I think he'll open his stitches. I want to tell him he's being stupid, but his laughter's contagious and as much as I want to yell at him, I find myself joining in on him.
"I get it, Maka," he says once he's calmed down, and the worry in his eyes disappears.
"Do you?"
"Yeah." He smirks, and I've missed that look so much. "We'll both kill each other, alright? I'll cut you open, as long as you do the same to me."
It doesn't make that much sense, but somehow it makes perfect sense to me.
He reaches out and takes my hand in his, and it feels better than the kiss we shared in the Black Room.
"I'm going to fuck this up," Soul whispers, pressing his forehead against mine. "A lot. But be patient with me, okay? It's not going to be easy, but I swear, same way I've been making sure you never regret our partnership, I'll work twice as hard to make sure you never regret me. Never regret us." He licks his lips, and I follow the motion with my eyes. "So … Maka Albarn, what do you say? Do you trust me?"
I grin.
"Always."