--

she's naughty... i call shotty!

my body will never live up to these expectations...

i still make invitations.

oh! oh goddamnit.

i think i've lost it and i think that i've lost you.

--

Sayu had expected a lecture when she got home. She expected her mother's outrage, her disappointment, her repeated usage of choice words like 'responsibility' and 'safety' and 'integrity.' She expected her mother to ground her, to refer to her by her full name as she scolded her.

What she didn't expect was Sachiko to burst into tears at the sight of her framed in the doorway; to throw her arms around daughter and sob uncontrollably into her chest. "S-Sayu, S-sayu," she choked, over and over again. "I was so scared... I-I thought I might have lost you, too..."

Sayu blinked, a little surprised by her mother's seemingly overdramatic display. Then she remembered what kind of world she lived in. The days of being sent up to her room for disobedience were over. She had long since reached Childhood's End, had crossed the threshold beyond it and transcended to a place where her dad was dead and her brother was always away. And although Light was still very much alive and kicking, he was still gone in every other sense of the word.

There was only them now. Only Sachiko and Sayu, and Sayu suddenly understood. She wrapped her arms around her mother, who was trembling like a leaf, and told her how very sorry she was.

--

Mello was like an addiction, and Sayu got her fix of him every Tuesday night at 7:00.

Sayu smiled and waved at her mother as she was dropped off in front of her psychiatrist's office. She declined an offer to be picked up afterward, insisting she would rather take the bus instead. Sachiko nodded and waved at her, mouthing 'I love you' as she slowly eased the sedan away from the curb and set off down the street. Sayu watched her go, and as soon as the vehicle turned left at the intersection and was gone, she stole around to the side of the building, where Mello was waiting for her.

An icy wind was beginning to blow as twilight approached, and the blonde's cheeks were slightly ruddy from the cold. He had a long-sleeved t-shirt on, with his usual fur-lined jacket thrown on 

over it, the hood pulled back to expose his once-handsome face. The rosary around his neck shone beneath the flickers of a dying sun just beginning to dip below the horizon. He had traded his favorite pair of leather pants for a pair of dark denim instead, and Sayu eyed them with interest.

"What?" he asked, after they had finished greeting one another with a frenzied exchange of saliva. He was still slightly panting from the exertion of it.

"I like the leather ones more," Sayu told him, smirking. "They showed off your cute butt better."

Mello rolled his eyes at her. "C'mon, I have something I want you to see," he said, and showed her around to the back of the structure where a sleek black motorcycle was currently idling, with two helmets draped across each of its handlebars. Sayu gave a little gasp and stopped at the sight of it, and Mello grinned back at her. "Do you like it?"

"When did you get it?" Sayu asked, watching as Mello drew his gloved fingers lovingly over its supple length.

"Today. Here, this is for you." He passed her one of the helmets and then put the other one on himself. He swung one leg over the bike, throwing up the kickstand as he did so, and glanced back at her. Sayu was staring down at the helmet in hands a little uncertainly.

"Sayu, put it on."

"Mello..." she said, her voice becoming muffled as she slid the hard plastic down over her face. "Aren't motorcycles supposed to be... really dangerous...?"

"What? You don't trust me?" He waved her over impatiently, and Sayu hesitantly obliged.

"...It's not that," Sayu frowned as Mello scooted forward so that she could slide on behind him. She wound her arms tightly around his middle, obviously a little insecure about what was surely going to happen next, and Mello sighed. He grabbed her hands and re-arranged them so that they were holding him gently by the hips instead.

"It's kind of hard to drive with you bodily wrapped around me," he said, by way of explanation, and fired up the engine. There was an explosion of sound as the motorcycle came roaring to life. "Put your feet up, and hang on, okay?" he shouted over the noise, as Sayu winced and did as she was told.

--

Two hours later found them pulling up to Sayu's street.

"See? All in one piece," Mello said, grinning back at her as he kicked out the bike's kick-stand just a few houses down from Sayu's own. He pulled his helmet free, exposing his golden colored hair, matted and flattened from his protective headgear. Then he dismounted, combing out his yellow tresses as he watched Sayu do the same. "Damn, but you look good on my bike," he said, his eyes sweeping over her predatorily. "What time is it anyway?"

"No, Mello," Sayu said firmly, turning her back to him she hung her helmet off of one of the handlebars. Mello came up from behind, pushing his hips against her backside as his hands reached around to cup her breasts. "I'm already late. We can't."

"You know you want to, Sayu," Mello murmured hotly, as his hands began to undo the long line of buttons to the front of her blouse. "You can't deny me."

He was right. Because in the end, she couldn't.

--

On the days where he wasn't preoccupied with trying to get into Sayu Yagami's pants, he stalked Lidner. She was a good source information, and through her he was able to learn things both about Kira and about Near's investigation. Not that he really cared much about the latter.

Lidner seemed to revel in it a little, which was weird, but Mello could deal as long as he got what he wanted out of it. She spent the majority of her time playing bodyguard for Takada now, and when she was relieved of duty at the end of each day Mello would let himself into her apartment without a proper invitation. They would then trade ideas over gunpoint.

"You don't really have to keep that thing shoved in my face, you know," she said, eying the barrel of the gun distastefully. Despite himself, Mello had to admit the bitch had guts. Or maybe she just thought he was soft, that he wouldn't dare hurt a woman. The afterthought was almost enough to make him pull the trigger, but he simply gritted his teeth and used his free hand to rip open the foil of his unwrapped candy bar instead.

There would be no use in killing you right now, he told himself fiercely. Not when you're more useful to me as it stands: Breathing.

(Plus, the alternative would be far worse. He might actually have to talk to Near.)

"I'm going to take a shower," Lidner said, interrupting his thoughts. "Care to join me?" She threw him a coy look as she disappeared into the bathroom.

"I didn't fucking tell you it was okay," Mello snapped irritably, as he stomped in after her.

"Too bad, because I'm going to take one no matter what you say." Lidner already had the hot water running. She turned so that she was facing away from him as she unabashedly undressed before him. Mello glanced in the mirror, and saw the faint trace of an inviting smile lingering on her full lips. Jesus, Lidner sure could be weird.

Of course, he knew where she was going with all this. Lidner was always so obvious. That's why, as soon as Mello went to set his gun down, he wasn't the least bit surprised when she suddenly 

had him pushed back up against the wall, half-straddling his thigh with her naked body. Mello had known for weeks now that Lidner held a thing for him, however misguided and fucked up that it may be, and had been expecting an advance like this for quite some time as a result.

He let her kiss him for a while, feeling those heavy breasts pressed up so tantalizingly against his chest. There was no denying that Lidner was hot, with her long, sleek calves and proud breasts and round hips. She was more than capable of inspiring feelings of lust in Mello, even if she was largely regarded as the opposition. The young prodigy felt himself growing hot, and it had nothing to do with the humidity of the bathroom.

"Mello," she murmured against his lips, as she went to attack the hollow of his throat with her experienced tongue.

I could use this to my advantage, Mello thought idly, as she yanked up the front of his shirt and raked her fingernails down his torso. Women are always so dumb to let themselves get swept up in this kind of shit. After I fuck her, I bet I could get her to do anything. I could own this bitch.

Then suddenly he thought of Sayu, and everything changed.

"Lidner!" he said loudly, the sound of his voice surprising them both as he held her at arms' length. "I think you've got this all wrong in your fucked-up little head. We are not friends. We are not lovers! You are a tool."

"So use me, then," she hissed vehemently, covering his mouth with her own for a second time. Mello grimaced and then shoved her roughly away. Both of them were breathing heavily as they broke apart.

"You are so unspeakably fucked up," he told her, dragging the sleeve of his jacket across his mouth. "Do all girls have these kinds of sick, twisted fantasies?"

"Don't act like you don't want it," she spat scathingly, angry with him now.

Mello grabbed his gun on the bathroom counter and holstered it in the belt of his pants. "Condensation's probably not good for this thing, you know!" he said, as he kicked open the door behind him and stalked out. Lidner stormed into the hall after him, now wrapped up in one of her bath towels.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" she raged, as Mello reached for the front door. "You've been following me everywhere, raiding my house, even sleeping over sometimes. What is it that you want from me?"

"You're under fucking surveillance," Mello spat, his face contorted up in anger. "You think I'm doing all this because I like you or something? If that was the case, didn't you think I'd simply just ask you out on a fucking date? Do you really think I'm some kind of ineloquent dipshit or something?"

"You watch me in the shower!" she cried shrilly, as if that somehow explained everything.

"Because you want me to!" Mello reminded her with a snarl, literally trembling with rage by now. "Jesus Christ, Lidner, you are the weirdest fucking person I've ever met. EVER."

"You can't tell me you don't want this," she whispered, dropping the towel. Mello reeled backwards, completely aghast by the female's irrational behavior.

"Holy fuck!" But he couldn't deny it - a part of him did want her, and badly. Lidner was just like the girls in the lewd magazines he read when he younger; she was the personification of every little boy at Wammy's House ideal fantasy up through the age of fifteen. (Well, except maybe for Near, but Near was a dickless freak, so he didn't count, not really.) Blonde, big breasts, beautiful and milky and completely perfect. Two years ago, and Mello would have taken her right there with no regrets, no second thoughts.

"Lidner," Mello said. "I have a girlfriend." And he whirled away from her and out the door without looking back to take in her expression, afraid of what he might find there. As he scrambled down the steps into the lobby he felt the first vestiges of humiliation seeping in, mixing in with the hate and the longing.

Fuck, he thought, as he yanked his helmet on over his head and fired up his bike. Lidner is never going to take me seriously again.

He sped off into the night.