"And I know, there'll be no more, tears in heaven."
Hoping to keep himself occupied, Derek spends the morning of his birthday helping his Dad at his store. He had needed to keep his mind off of the fact that Danielle hadn't woken him up to exchange gifts like they had since they were four. Derek couldn't be in the room where a majority of the gifts she had made him still were. Where the Christmas gift he had planned on giving her still was. He arrives home early that afternoon, and Amelia runs outside to greet them with a halfway inflated balloon in her hand. Derek scoops her up into his arms, and she hugs him tight. He hadn't realized how much he had needed a hug. His mother had given him one earlier, but it had been hours ago.
"You went to work before I could say happy birthday." Amelia whines, placing her head on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay." She finishes blowing up the balloon, and struggles to tie it.
"Need some help, Am?"
"I can do it." She insists, getting frustrated. "Mommy let me decorate the house."
"Really?"
"Really." She nods. "And Kathy's home. Did you know Kathy was coming home?"
"Mom mentioned it."
"I told you I can do it!" Amelia exclaims when she ties the balloon. Her excitement causes her to let go of the balloon, and it flies into the air. "No!"
"It's okay." Derek comforts her.
"Dani gets a balloon for her birthday too." Amelia's grasp on what had happened to Danielle surprised him sometimes. He had expected her to be more confused, but she wasn't.
"She does." Derek sighs, and opens their front door. "Great job decorating, Amy."
He hadn't really wanted any decorations, but Amelia had done it. He couldn't be upset about her getting excited. She had taped anything having to do with birthdays to the walls, and had colored personalized banners.
"Thank you."
"I have an idea." He grabs the package of balloons and a marker from the coffee table in the living room.
"Tell me. Tell me."
"Want to send a message to Dani?" He asks, motioning his head toward the door, and putting the marker in his pocket.
"Can we?"
"Let's go outside." Derek suggests, and Amelia happily follows him.
"She'll really get them?" Amelia questions, looking up at him.
"It's nice to think that she will." Derek shrugs, tying a balloon, and ignoring all of his scientific knowledge.
"Will you write mine for me?" Amelia asks. "I want her to be able to read it."
"Sure." He uncaps the marker. "What would you like to say?"
"Tell her I beat up the monster in my dresser." Amelia and Danielle had shared a room, and this must have been one of the things only they had shared. He hadn't heard about it before. "She always believed me that he was in there."
"Do you think he'll come back?" Derek asks, writing the message from Amelia.
"Only to say that he's sorry."
"Let me know if he comes back."
"Okay."
"Here you go." He hands her the balloon, and she holds on to it, waiting for him.
"What's your's going to say?"
"I hope heaven is like Hawaii." Derek smiles. "Happy Birthday."
"Hawaii? Like Dani's poster?"
"Like Dani's poster." Derek explains. "She always wanted to go there."
"She's real happy if it's like that poster."
"She is." Derek agrees, enjoying the thought of her sitting by a waterfall like the one in the poster. At Danielle's funeral, the priest had said that God was like a comforting parent, and embraced all who entered heaven as such. There was no fear, and there was no pain. It had brought comfort to his parents, but not to Derek. He could only focus on his pain. Then mention of comforting fears had only made him think about when him and Danielle had shared a room. It was one of his first memories, but it was a vivid one. Their room had been Derek's now, and they had arranged their beds so that they slept head to head. He had woken up from a nightmare, and Danielle had turned onto her stomach to hold his hand. He was happy that his sister wasn't scared, or in pain, but what about him? He needed her to squeeze his hand, and tell him everything was alright, and there was no way for that to happen. He needed some comfort too. "Ready?"
"Ready." She jumps excitedly. Derek smiles, and they release their balloons. "Happy birthday! We love you!"
"We miss you, Dani." Derek says, feeling slightly better. They escape the cold, and head inside.
Later on, Derek is sitting in the living room with his family and Mark when Meredith rings the doorbell. He invites her in, and she hands him a gift he suspects is a record judging from its shape.
"Should I open it now?"
"Sure." She shrugs. "I had no idea what to get you. So, I'm sorry if it completely sucks."
"You didn't have to get me anything, so stop worrying." He had never known anyone who was as critical of themselves as Meredith. It was ridiculous, and drove him slightly crazy. He rips the thin paper off, revealing a classic Ray Abrams jazz record.
"The guy at the store said this one is pretty good." She smiled. "He plays the tenor saxophone, and lives in New York."
"Sounds familiar." Derek laughs at the similarities between himself and the artist. "Thank you."
"Happy birthday."
"I was looking for something to play during dinner."
"You don't have to."
"I want to."
"Okay." She nods. "How's everything going?"
"It's up there with the birthday I had the chicken pox, but I'm trying." Derek sighs. "How about you?"
"Well, I'm not in Connecticut, so it could be worse."
"What are you talking about?"
"Did I not mention the boarding school my mother is threatening to send me to?"
"No." Derek shakes his head. "No, you didn't. I'm not about to let that happen."
"What are you talking about?"
"She can't just ship you off to live with hundreds of people you've never even met before."
"Actually, she can." Meredith argues. "She's my mother."
"Right."
"Let's not talk about it anymore."
"If she ever follows through on the threat, we'll ask if you can stay here."
"Derek..."
"What?" He asks. "Kathy's in college, and Nancy can share a room with Amy."
"If dying my hair pink doesn't get me shipped off, I don't know what will."
"Please, do not try to figure out what will."
"It's tempting, but I won't."
"Thank you." He says, and they make their way to the living room. Derek introduces her to everyone, and they sit at the far end of the large couch near Mark.
"It's too bad you don't have blue hair anymore, Kath." Nancy quips. He had really been hoping she'd come down with a sudden, yet severe, case of laryngitis. It hadn't happened, and now he was tempted to super glue her mouth shut. He loved her, but she never gave any thought to what she said to people. "She'd feel right at home."
"I hope she feels at home, anyway." Carolyn says, subtlety apologizing for her daughter.
"You had blue hair?" Meredith asks Kathleen, who smirks. She had enjoyed the freedom that college had brought. Derek had known Meredith would immediately feel comfortable around Kathleen. Everyone did.
"It was the first semester of my freshman year of college." Kathleen explains. "Mom hated it, but it faded out a couple months later."
"All I said was that it washed out your eyes." Carolyn shrugs. "I did not hate it."
"She hated it." James laughs, and Carolyn lightly smacks his shoulder.
"Play with me." Amelia tugs at Meredith's hand.
"Ask nicely, Amelia." Carolyn scolds.
"Please?" Amelia asks sweetly, with a huge smile on her face.
"What are we going to play?"
"We're going to play with my dollies." Amelia tells Meredith as she directs her across the room to where her toys are.
"Can Derek play too?"
"But then Mark will have to play too."
"Why can't Mark play?"
"He's mean." Amelia gets a serious look on her face, that was also hilarious. "And stupid."
"Amelia Jean." James warns her, and she shows him the same smile she had given Meredith.
"It's not a secret, Daddy."
"That does not mean you call him names. Say you're sorry, or you can go to your room."
"Sorry."
"It's okay." Mark tells her. "Can I play?"
"Kay." Amelia agrees. "I'll be right back."
"You don't go to our school." Mark says to Meredith while Amelia runs upstairs.
"No, I don't."
"Then how did you meet this geek?" He elbows Derek, who had not mentioned anything about grief counseling to Mark.
"Don't call him names, or you'll get sent to your room." Meredith dismisses his question.
"Now say you're sorry." Derek grins, and then mouths the words thank you to Meredith.
"So sorry." Mark says sarcastically.
"What's Amelia's issue with you?"
"She thought her and Mark were going to live happily ever after like in 'Cinderella.' He let her down easy, but she's taking it pretty hard." Derek laughs, and Mark rolls his eyes.