"What's wrong?" I asked
"It's weird you know. Everyone thought I was dead. Almost a year had passed and I didn't tell anyone I was alive. Sometime I felt guilty I didn't tell anyone, sometimes I sort of forgot about the fact that I was supposed to be dead. Other times I really don't know what I felt like. I was happy because Calypso was with me, but I felt guilty that my friends were probably morning over me. Sometimes it felt like I was lying to them because I was alive and they thought that I was dead and other times I forgot about what happened to me. Now I feel really guilty that I didn't go tell my friends I was alive after getting Calypso that instead I was out on vacation while they were doing burial rights for me.
"Yea I see why your guilty, but at least you didn't come during the burial. Now that would have been awkward."
He chuckled a bit but became solemn again, "Yea, but I'm really being serious. I didn't tell my friends my plan because I knew they would not have let me go through with it but it had to be done. It would have happened one way or another. One of us had to die. I thought better it be me, because I have a plan and even if it fails I wouldn't have hurt as many people.
"Now that's where you're wrong," I interrupted, "You hurt some many people with your death, I'm not saying that to be mean I'm saying it to let you know that you are important. You are important to so many people here. When you landed who were the first to greet you?"
"My half siblings."
"And how did they react to seeing you?"
"They were happy, and shocked."
"And after them who was it?"
"You and then Jason and Piper."
"Were any of us upset with the fact that you came back?"
"No."
"If no one cared about you and you were not important to anyone then why was everyone that you just named happy to see you? And not just happy, ecstatic about you coming back? Here's the answer because you matter so much to them. Come on you're the Super Sized McShizzle who back from the freaking dead man!"
He smiled at the last comment, but then was quiet again "Yea but I still feel guilty about them thinking I was dead."
"You would have felt guilty either way. Think about it if you came back and showed your friends that you were alive and well, you would have stayed at Camp Half- Blood to help probably and recover. Then you would have felt guilty to Calypso that you didn't go and search for her right away and instead you waited a while to be with you friends."
"Yea I guess I see your point."
"Its natural that you feel guilty. Nothing that you would have chosen would have been guilty free. Trust me, it's happened to me before."
"No, no Rina don't do that," Leo said, "It wasn't your fault, like you said there was nothing that you could have done." (A/N Rina is pronounced Reena)
Tears started to cascade my face at the memory.
*Flashback*
"No, Leo!" I screamed as they pulled me away "You can't, I need to be with him! You don't understand, he needs me." They pulled me away as they rolled him into the ambulance, paramedics at his sides.
"No Rina!" he shouted, "Please let her come with me!" he asked the paramedics.
"I'm sorry but family only and if you could give us your name we could get your family down here sweety," the paramedic told him.
"You don't understand she is my family!" he cried.
"I'll come back Leo!" I shouted, "Don't worry I'll find you bro!" I said a bit cheerfully trying not to freak him out. "You just get better and I'll find you! Don't worry about me, I'll be fine!" I couldn't hold back the sobs anymore and I broke down sobbing. I knew what ever did this to Leo wasn't gone and was coming back to get him. I couldn't just leave him to be attacked again. I knew that he wouldn't be strong enough to defend himself against whatever those things were. I don't even know why the heck they were always chasing us. It didn't make sense, I didn't even know what they were.
"You have to let me go with him you don't understand," I sobbed to the police.
"I'm sorry but you and little boyfriend cannot be together. We need to find your family and take you to them. Now if you could give a name or address that would really help," the officer said to me.
"It won't help, I'm a foster kid," I said breaking down.
*End of flashback*
"Rina it wasn't your fault we didn't know what we were dealing with then. You can't blame yourself for that. Please you're going to make me feel bad," Leo said coming over and giving me a hug.
"I made a promise to you and I didn't keep it. I promised I would find you and take care of you and I didn't. Man, you ended up dead and I wasn't there with you. I made a promise to myself that would protect you and the last time that I saw you, you were in an ambulance going to the hospital because I wasn't able to protect you. That should have been me going in that ambulance not you.
"Please don't beat yourself up over that. If it wasn't for you I probably would have killed myself several times before. You have to forgive yourself."
We sat there for a couple minutes, hugging each other. It really helped cheering me up. I hadn't thought about that night in a while. I was so worried that those things were going to attack Leo and I wouldn't be able to help him. At the time I thought that they were some really weird dogs, only now i know that they were really hell hounds.
Anyway, he pulled gently away from and I whispered a thanks while I wiped the rest of my tears away. I looked over at him he was sitting there quietly and calmly, still taping his fingers but he was calm. Suddenly he grinned, "You admitted it!" he shouted.
"What did I admit that I'm am positive that I'm going to regret very soon?" I asked.
"You admitted that I was a Super Sized McShizzle."
"Shoot, well I was just doing it to cheer you up. Besides I don't even know what that means."
"Doesn't matter you still admitted it."
I groaned I was never going to live this down. Leo will never make me ever forget this. Darn for so long I refused to call him that insisting that I would not call him anything other than what he was. Those things that he was were usually insults but never a Super Sized McShizzle. Heck I don't even know what that means.
"Man I came looking for you to tell you some good news and all I ended up doing it making your ego bigger," I sighed.
"Yea well you did cheer me up in the process," Leo pointed out, "Anyway what's you big news?"