Hello my dear readers! Dear me, it's been almost a month since I last updated. Funnily enough, I've written this chapter in the past few days. I just had a bit of an idea as to how to continue and it, well, developed a life of its own. I hope you like it :)

Thanks for your reviews, I really appreciate them and I apologise for all the long waits between chapters.

The air in Gaius' chambers was suffocating, thick with worry and helplessness. The old physician did everything he could for Merlin and Gwen and Finnja both assisted him tirelessly, but it wasn't making much of a difference. The only thing that could save Merlin was the antidote Arthur had set out to find.

Finnja had gone from silently watching over and caring for her friend to talking to him. Maybe, Gaius mused in the privacy of his mind, she thought that the power of sheer will and optimism would help Merlin in his fight against the magic poison. Oh how he sometimes envied the young for their innocence and purity of mind.

Tiny fingers running through raven hair, the little girl was telling Merlin a story that involved her sister Isa, the horse of the Baron Dallingmoore's third son and a broom. The Court Physician wasn't quite sure where the narrative was headed, but based on the small giggles that occasionally snuck into Finnja's tone, it had been a highly amusing incident.

Meanwhile, a part of Merlin that wasn't completely ensnared by the fever and poison in his blood, seemed to be listening. While he was still restless, his breathing ragged and fast, his nonsensical mutterings were now fewer and less agitated.

xxx

"Arthur. It's a trap. It's a trap."

The breathy whispers had stopped the occupants of the physician's chambers in their tracks. Finnja, who had finally been convinced to eat at least a little bit, immediately abandoned her barely touched bowl of stew to scramble back to her friend's side.

"Is Arthur in danger?", she asked, turning huge frightened eyes on Gwen, then on Gaius.

Gwen sighed, brushing a sweaty lock of hair behind Merlin's ear. "His fever's getting worse, isn't it?", she spoke, resigned sadness in her voice as she looked to Gaius.

He couldn't deny it and there was no use in lying since it would only offer empty comfort and insult the two girls' intelligence. "The poison is taking hold", he confirmed gravelly.

Merlin's fevered mutterings slipped back into an incomprehensible language after he'd pleaded with Arthur to "leave it."

"I hope Arthur can hear him", Finnja mumbled absently, holding his hand. Her gaze was distant and pensive, the amber glowing and dancing like dark gold in the flickering light of the candles.

Frowning at the young brunette's seemingly innocuous comment, Gaius asked Gwen: "Could you fetch me some more wolfsbane, please."

The maid nodded, rising. "Yes of course." She quickly scurried away.

The Court Physician watched her go before turning to look at his gravely ill ward. "Merlin", he implored, taking the boy's hand, "you must fight it."

Finnja sniffled. "Please, Merlin", she added. "You still haven't told me what 'prat' means."

xxx

With the same striking lucidity as before, Merlin spoke to Arthur again. "It's too dark", he said, his brows pinched in a pained frown. A sheen of sweat glistened on his face, beads of perspiration gathering on his upper lip.

His language changed again and Finnja startled as suddenly, a bright blue light radiated from beneath the blanket. Astonished but curious, she carefully pulled back the blanket and gasped as it revealed a glowing blue orb resting in Merlin's hand. Fascinated and awed by the swirling streaks of light in the orb, she missed the flash of apprehension and uncertainty that crossed Gaius' wizened features.

"Merlin, what are you doing?", the physician asked, an underlying current of fear in his incredulity.

The little girl reached out and cautiously poked a finger at the curious apparition. It felt warm, tingly and surprisingly soft. A small giggle escaped her. "How are you doing that?", she marvelled. "It's very pretty."

Gaius got the overwhelming urge to bury his face in his hands. Instead, he just heaved a long, world-weary sigh. He would need to have a long, serious discussion with Finnja about the meaning of this. He didn't doubt her loyalty and he knew that she would never betray Merlin's secret willingly and out of malice. But she was still a child and sometimes, she disclosed things without meaning to, though he had to admit that this was mostly due to the fact that she didn't know that those things were secret or at least not talked about.

At least she's not afraid of magic or disgusted by it, he thought to himself. Out loud, he said: "Don't tell anybody about this, Finnja, do you understand?"

To her credit, the young brunette promised without hesitation. "Alright, Gaius. Is it a secret that Merlin can make pretty lights?"

"Yes. Nobody can know that Merlin has magic", he impressed on her. "It would put him in grave danger if people found out, so you mustn't tell anyone."

Finnja nodded, absolutely serious. "Of course, Gaius. I won't tell anyone, not even Sir Leon or Saban. I'll keep Merlin's secret", she vowed.

A new day had dawned over Camelot and Merlin was only barely clinging to life. Much as it pained him, Gaius sent Finnja to collect a few healing herbs and flowers. He would have sent Gwen, but the young woman had to attend to Lady Morgana and the herbs had to be collected in the early hours of morning.

He nearly spilled the hot water he was filling into a bowl when the door to his chambers banged open and the little girl burst in. The satchel with herbs was bouncing wildly against her back, her chestnut hair sticking up wildly in all directions.

"Gaius!", she called, skidding to a stop. "Arthur, he...guards- Uther...cell!", she gasped out between panting breaths.

"Slow down, child", the physician said not unkindly, calmly motioning for her to put the herbs on the table and take a seat by Merlin's side. "Take a deep breath, then tell me what happened."

Finnja complied, plopping down onto the bench and automatically taking her friend's limp hand. She swallowed, trying to catch her breath. "I was on my way back when Arthur came galloping out of the forest. He picked me up and let me ride with him. I told him we had to hurry. At the gate, the guards stopped us. They made him put me down, then said the King wanted him to be arrested. I tried to explain that he was trying to help Merlin, but they wouldn't listen!"

xxx

Gaius frowned deeply, looking at Merlin, who was struggling to breathe and writhing under the blanket. "He hasn't got much longer", he told his younger charge. "Has Arthur got the flower?"

She nodded. "Yes. I couldn't take it with me, though." She paused, eyebrows drawn together as her quick mind worked to find a way to save Merlin. Her eyes lit up and determination replaced the chagrin on her face. "I'll go down to the dun-shen and get it."

"It would be very dangerous", Gaius refuted. "Too dangerous."

Crossing her arms, Finnja stubbornly argued: "Arthur went into danger for Merlin, too! And Merlin would do it for me. He needs the flower so he can get better."

Faced with such unyielding dedication and fierce loyalty, combined with his own fondness for the ravenhaired boy and the added weight of Merlin's wheezing, choking breaths that punctured the tense silence, Gaius caved. "Be careful", he told her.

The small brunette offered him a tiny, wan smile that was probably meant to be reassuring. Then, she straightened her tunic, squared her thin shoulders and headed to the door. The King might have ordered that nobody would be allowed to see Arthur, but she wasn't about to let that stop her. Arthur had the only thing that could save Merlin.

Finnja slipped into the kitchen, making sure to stay out of the way of the bustling servants and maids. She regularly came down here with Merlin, either to help or to see if there was some food or delicious treats they could swipe. The cook, a matronly woman with red cheeks, usually brandished her ladle and scowled at them, but it was all for show. Everybody knew that Cook was generally fond and protective of all servants and that she never really punished anyone for sneaking away a bit of food.

And it was common knowledge that she had a huge soft spot for Gaius' young wards. Not that she was the only one. Merlin was liked by many in the castle for his kindness, only some begrudging him the prestigious position of being the Prince's manservant, and it was equally difficult not to like Finnja, who was always ready to offer a sunlit smile or a helping hand.

Walking over to where Cook was keeping an eagle eye on the work of one of her assistants, Finnja was greeted with a warm: "What brings you here, little one?"

"Did somebody already come to get the food for Prince Arthur?", she wanted to know, desperately hoping that the answer would be no.

Cook frowned and scrutinised the small girl, then shook her head. "No, not yet."

Smiling brightly, Finnja asked: "Would it be alright if I took it? Nobody is allowed to see him but I thought he might want to know how Merlin is." Her smile dropped and she looked away, the corners of her mouth drooping along with her shoulders. "He risked his life for him after all."

xxx

Cook clucked her tongue and barked orders to prepare a plate for the prince. Then, she returned her attention to the little brunette. "How is Merlin?"

Finnja swallowed, tears beginning to pool at the rims of her eyes again. "Bad", she croaked. "Gaius says he doesn't have long."

Frown deepening at the child's obvious despair, Cook wrapped her into a hug, patting her on the head. "There now", she soothed, "it will be alright. Gaius will surely find something to help your brother. The man has performed miracles before."

Taking a shuddering breath, Finnja nodded as she was released from the warm embrace.

"That's the spirit", Cook said with a smile, glad to see the resolve returning to the bright amber gaze. "Now wipe your face and be on your way. It won't do if you're in such a state when you bring the Prince his food."

The small girl chuckled wetly and did as she was told. Taking the plate of food - frugal for a royal, normal for a servant - she thanked Cook and ducked out of the hot, hazy room.

xxx

On her way down to the dungeons, it was all Finnja could do not to run. She wanted to get back to Merlin as fast as possible. But since she didn't want to arouse suspicion, she forced herself to walk at a brisk but measured pace. She nodded at some of the people that passed her, returned a few greetings and managed a small smile here and there. Since basically the entire castle knew of Merlin's rapidly declining condition, nobody mentioned the dark smudges under her reddened eyes or the lack of her usual bright energy.

The closer she got to the dungeons, the faster Finnja's heart beat against her chest. She didn't dare think about what would happen to Merlin if she didn't manage to get the flower from Arthur and bring it to Gaius. I belong here, she kept telling herself as she passed one guard after the other, it's natural for a servant to bring food to a prisoner. With that mantra in her head, she mustered all her courage and determination and descended the stairs to the cells. None of the guards had even looked at her twice so far.

"Halt."

Her stomach plummeted towards the ground. Swallowing, she looked at the guard's stern mien and offered: "I have food for Prince Arthur?" She desperately hoped that her voice wasn't as shaky as she felt.

The stony expression on the man's face softened into a smile and he nodded, gesturing to the cell on the right. "Lead with that next time", he advised.

Finnja nodded eagerly. "I will, sir, thank you. I'm sorry."

The guard waved off the apology and let her pass, trading a grin with his buddy as the little maidservant continued, the plate clutched in her small hands.

Arthur was yanked out of his morose thoughts by the sound of a familiar voice. He frowned, raising his head as two sets of footsteps approached.

"-dark and lonely down here", said the light voice he now recognised as Finnja's. "Don't you get bored?"

A deeper voice - he figured it belonged to the guard accompanying the young girl - responded: "Yes, but it's our duty. We play cards or dice to pass the time."

The Prince scoffed in amusement despite himself. Trust Finnja to chat with a member of the royal guard. She and Merlin were so alike in that way, making friends whereever they went. He paused, the thought of his manservant - the foolish, selfless idiot - sending a stab of pain through his heart.

The visitors came into view.

"Hello Arthur", Finnja said, plastering the weary shadow of a cheerful grin onto her face. "I brought your food. I guess for you it isn't much, but now that you're not training and fighting all day, you probably need less, right?"

Arthur swore he could see the guard's lips quirk into a smile as he unlocked the cell door. He schooled his features into a mask of bored neutrality and watched as she entered the cell, the plea and question in her eyes screaming at him. His gut twisted painfully. "How is Merlin?", he asked casually, getting up.

Her expression morphed into one of pure sadness and anguish. "He can't hear me anymore", she whispered, eyes falling away to look at the ground. She sniffled and he could see her bottom lip quiver.

xxx

Crossing the distance between them, Arthur took the plate off her and set it onto the table in the corner. The guard, who was still standing in the doorway, respectfully turned his back after being subject to the prince's heated glare for a moment. Now granted with a modicum of privacy, Arthur placed a hand on Finnja's shoulder. He couldn't explain how much he hated the way it trembled under his hand. She looked up at the unexpected contact.

"Merlin's a clumsy, incompetent oaf", he told her. "But...I don't want to find a new servant because I have hope that he might improve with your help." Seeing her quizzical look, he added: "I don't know why or how but apparently, he's decided to be responsible and at least semi-useful when you're around."

Her mouth twitched, but the smile didn't form yet.

With a glance towards the guard, who still had his back to them, Arthur said: "Don't give up on him. He's just being stubborn."

This time, Finnja nodded, her small features lighting up with a smile. "Yes, Arthur." She wrapped her arms around him and gave him a quick hug before turning around and tapping the guard on the shoulder, saying: "Excuse me, Sir Guard, I have to get back to Merlin."

The guard didn't bother hiding his amusement at the unusual address. He stepped back and let her out before closing the cell door and leading the young girl away.

Arthur, still a bit in shock as this had been the second hug he'd received from Finnja within the span of three days, watched them go. Grabbing the plate from the table, he sat down to eat. As he bit into the roll of bread, a satisfied smirk spread on his lips.

Finnja started running as soon as she was out of sight and earshot of the dungeon guards. She barrelled up the stairs, down the corridors, left, right, up another staircase and down another corridor. She barged into Gaius' chambers, the first question from her mouth being: "How is he?"

"Do you have the Mortaeus flower?", the physician demanded.

"Yes." She pulled it from the sleeve of her tunic where she had hidden it. "Here."

Gaius took it and strode over to his workbench. "His breathing's much worse", he informed her. "We have to hurry." With mortar and pestle, he began to grind the flower into a paste, adding water and other liquids to make the healing potion.

Gwen, who had sat with Merlin, turned to the child. "How did you get it?", she asked, surprise colouring her face.

Finnja flushed a deep pink and mumbled an explanation, sitting down next to her and taking Merlin's hand again. His features looked gaunt, his eyes sunken, the lids dark against his too pale skin. There wasn't even a flush of fever on his cheeks anymore. His chest barely moved with each breath that he struggled to take. And he was still, much too still. There was no more tossing or shivering, no muttering or grimacing.

xxx

The clinking of the pestle inside the mortar ceased, making the two girls look up.

"Why have you stopped?", Gwen questioned, a frown marring her brow.

The old physician sighed, looking at the ground-up flower in the mortar. "The poison was created using magic", he said. "We...may need magic to make an antidote."

"But we can't", the maid protested. "It's forbidden. Even if we could."

Finnja decided that now wasn't the best time to ask why it was forbidden. Instead, she asked: "Can't you make it work, Gaius?" He had to! They had come so far.

He studied her, then the beginnings of the potion in his hands. "We'll try and make it work without", he said, giving them a reassuring nod. He paused again to fetch a vial, handing it to Gwen. "Would you fetch some fresh water?"

Gwen nodded, gathered her skirts and quickly hurried out the door.

As soon as the door closed, the Court Physician fixed Finnja with a stern look and said: "You cannot tell anybody of what you're about to see. It's a secret just like Merlin's."

The brunette nodded. "Yes Gaius."

Taking a deep breath and closing his eyes, Gaius cupped the mortar with both hands and spoke in a language that Finnja didn't understand but that sounded quite similar to the mutterings she'd heard from Merlin.

Cautiously opening one eye, then the other, Gaius peered into the mortar. Finnja couldn't see what was inside, but she could hear the faint hissing and bubbling noise. Judging by the way Gaius' eyebrow rose towards his hairline, he was surprised with the outcome of his magic work.

"Did it work?", she asked, not sure if she dared hope.

Hurried footsteps heralded Gwen's return. The Lady Morgana's maid bustled in and handed the vial with clear water to Gaius before quickly returning to her seat by Merlin's side.

Gaius mixed the water with the potion and filled it into a small bottle. "Hold his nose", he instructed, rounding the workbench and bending over his ward's prone form. With the two girls' help, he carefully poured the antidote down Merlin's throat. "Swallow it, Merlin", he muttered under his breath, "swallow."

Merlin's throat bobbed. Then, his chest stilled and his body went slack.

xxx

"H-he stopped breathing", Finnja stammered.

"What's happening?", Gwen asked, helplessly turning to Gaius.

But the physician had no answer. He could only stare in shock for a moment before leaning forward and pressing an ear to the boy's chest. He straightened, an expression of devastation and grief digging the lines and wrinkles deeper into his face. "His heart has stopped", he announced.

Finnja let out a choked noise, followed by a whimpered "No", before she burst into tears and buried her face in her friend's chest. "Please Merlin", she cried, fingers fisting into the sweat-soaked tunic of the boy she viewed as a brother. "Come back." The pain stole her voice and she sobbed worldlessly.

"He's dead?" Gwen couldn't believe it. She blinked and slowly shook her head as if that would wake her from whatever nightmare this was. Merlin was dead? He couldn't be. Her eyes stung and her throat closed up.

Gaius shook his head rapidly. "He couldn't be", he mumbled, disbelief painted across his features. "It's his destiny." He rose to his feet, but instead of doing anything, he just stood there, staring down at Merlin's motionless form.

A tear rolled down Gwen's cheek. "It was my fault", she whispered, unable to tear her dark gaze away from the scene in front of her. "If I'd done something to stop him..."

"No", Gaius contradicted, drawing the young woman into a hug. "It was me. I should have looked after him better." He looked heavenwards and finished: "It's my fault."

xxx

Clinging to Merlin, Finnja didn't have enough air to form any words between the sobs that shook her, but to her, it was clear that she was to blame. If she'd thought to take the flower with her when Arthur helped her climb off the horse, if she'd been quicker to get to the dungeons, if she'd run just a little bit faster on the way back...

In her distress, she didn't notice the chest beneath her shift.

"This is disgusting", a very familiar voice said, vibrating against her cheek.

Finnja lifted her head, eyes growing wide as dinner plates.

"You should be ashamed of yourself", Merlin - the pale and weak and very much alive Merlin - continued, looking up at Gaius and Gwen with a cheeky grin on his lips. "You're old enough to be her grandfather."

Finnja crowed: "Merlin! You're back!" and launched herself at him, small arms encircling him in a fierce but gentle hug.

He smiled down at her and ran a hand through her mop of brown hair.

"You're alive", Gaius said, joy and relief and surprise and a myriad of other happy emotions flickering on his face.

The ravenheaded warlock grinned and joked: "No, I'm the ghost come back to haunt you", making Finnja giggle against his collarbone.

Gwen laughed through her tears, bent forward and kissed him. Pulling back, she immediately looked embarrassed and offered: "Sorry, I just... I thought you were dead."

"It's fine", Merlin replied, looking a bit dazed. "It's more than fine." Gathering his thoughts, he turned to Gaius. "Ehm", he asked, "wha' happened? Last thing I remember is...drinking wine."

When Merlin fell asleep after hearing about all that had happened ever since he'd made the selfless, reckless and slightly foolish decision to drink from the poisoned chalice, Finnja eventually decided to go and tell Arthur the good news. She hadn't wanted to leave at first, but Gaius had reassured her that Merlin really was only asleep and on the road to recovery.

"He will be back on his feet in less than a week", he told her. "Now go so that I may work undisturbed for a while."

Grinning like the sun on a spring day, Finnja raced down to the dungeons. In her excitement, she promptly forgot to announce her presence and her intention to the guards who were playing cards at a table.

"Hey!", they protested as she flew past. "Stop!" Rattling and clinking told her that they were scrambling after her.

"Arthur!", she called, sliding to a halt in front of the barred cell. "Arthur, it's Merlin, he's back!"

xxx

The guards caught up with her then and one of them unceremoniously grabbed her around the midriff and lifted her off the ground. Finnja yelped, more in surprise than pain, and struggled against the unexpected and unwelcome restriction, feet kicking in the air.

Arthur, who had jumped to his feet as soon as he'd heard the commotion, crossed the small cell. "Hey, easy there", he snapped. "She's just a child."

Finnja twisted in the guard's hold and sought out the prince's gaze. "Merlin came back", she repeated, beaming far too widely for somebody who had just been caught bursting into the dungeons and unintentionally disobeying an order of the King.

"That's great news, Missy", the guard holding her grunted, hoisting her higher and turning around, "now run along before we take you to the King."

She was hauled out of the dungeons and pushed out the door with a stern warning to never do that again because other people wouldn't have been so lenient, but seeing that she'd fulfilled her 'mission' and the guards had seemed more annoyed than actually angry, the young girl's spirits were still soaring high and she skipped away.

xxx

In the evening, Finnja found herself sitting on her favourite window sill in Sir Leon's chambers, legs crossed and silently mouthing words to herself as she read one of the stories in her book. Leon occasionally glanced at her from where he was sat at the desk, working his way through a small stack of scrolls.

The knight wasn't entirely sure how it had come to pass, but the small brunette had somehow ended up doing some of the work that was usually completed by one of the servants that attended him. While he had been sceptical at first, after all, even though Finnja was only eleven, a maid so frequently visiting the chambers of a bachelor knight was sure to raise a few eyebrows. But ultimately, he had been forced to admit that his bond with the orphaned girl was - while unusual and sometimes frowned upon - practically common knowledge at court.

He looked up from his work again and a smile grew on his lips.

Finnja had fallen asleep, head resting against the window pane, one leg dangling off the edge of the window sill. The story book was still in her lap, but it was tilting precariously, on the verge of slipping and falling to the floor.

Rising from his chair, Leon quietly walked over to her. He took the book, closed it and set it aside. Then, he slid one arm under her knees, the other bracing her back, and carefully lifted the sleeping child into his arms. She was just as light as the first time he'd carried her. Finnja snuggled against his chest, no doubt for warmth, and he checked for any signs of discomfort.

Finding none, the blond knight strode to the door and opened it slowly so the squeaking hinges wouldn't wake her. Making sure that Finnja was still sleeping soundly, he then turned down the corridor, heading for the Court Physician's chambers. After Merlin coming this close to death, Gaius would surely appreciate it if he didn't have to worry about his other ward as well.