SEVEN
Their Knight in Rusting Armor

The barrage of abuse ended with, what sounded like, "Bugbashers." Whatever that meant.

"Who the hell are you?" Alice asked.

"I am a knight." And he puffed up his chest as he walked closer. "A white knight, to be precise. Sir Charles Eustace Fortheringay le Malvoy III." Hatter tried to remember the books he'd read as a kid, but he couldn't think of a knight in them that looked like Sir Charles. But, to be fair, hundred odd years was a long time, especially under the Queen's reign. When Hatter thought of the state of the city he had to admit the knight seemed to have held up better. After a pause that had Hatter seriously doubting the sanity of Charlie, he asked, "Who are you?"

"I'm…Alice." She replied and that got Charlie's attention.

"Alice?" Charlie leaned in, eyes alight, "The Alice? The Alice?"

"No. Just…Alice."

"Just Alice…" The knight seemed to reflect on this and Hatter was still having trouble believing this Charlie was an actual knight. The knight seemed a few blackbirds short of a pie, in Hatter's opinion.

"I thought all you guys were wiped out years ago?" Hatter said.

"Well, you thought wrong. As you can see I am as fit as a butcher's dog." Butcher's dog? What the hell was he on about? Last butcher Hatter knew, well, butchered the dog. Hard times. Happened to the best of them.

"Are there any others like you?" Alice asked and he laughed a little.

"Certainly not." Charlie began to walk away, prattling on. "I'm a one off. My Nan used to say that if I was the only eligible bachelor left in the world," he strained to pick up his shovel. Fit my eye. "There wasn't a warthog or wallflower that'd polish my escutcheon." He laughed at his joke.

"No, I meant are there any other knights in these woods? Your…comrades in arms?"

"Heavens no. Are you mad? We were wiped out years ago." Charlie answered. Hatter couldn't help but notice that he'd just said the same thing and the knight had mocked him for it. But, you know, who's counting?

So… "You dug that pit on your own?" Hatter reeled back when this upset the knight and he came clamoring toward them, armor creaking and clanking.

"You think I'm too old? Well let me tell you something nug face, youth is vastly overrated. I may have put on a few years but I'm crafty. I've a very inventive and calculating mind stacked high with ground-breaking, state of the art ideas. I invent all sorts of things." Charlie took a breath and seemed to calm down. "The beehive mouse trap for instance. And this here pit, as you so rudely call it, is in fact my third attempt at the Gravity Assisted Snare Mark IV." He lifted his chin proudly.

Then his eyes trailed something they couldn't see and he was turning slowly away. Hatter raised his eyebrows. Yep, insane. They should leave. "He's mad as a box of frogs." Hatter said to Alice before turning to back to the knight, who had wandered a few steps away. "How the hell have you survived?"

Charlie held out his arms, spinning, his eyes focused on the canopy. Hatter looked up, but he saw nothing but leaves and sticks. Charlie set his arms down. "Hm?" Hatter was about to say, 'never mind,' but Charlie spoke first. "Oh, yes. I'm a knight." Brilliant. That answered the question in that it…yep, it absolutely didn't. Hatter's stare got just a little bit wider as his disbelief and confusion grew just a little bit stronger.

"And I'm an inventor, as I said, but if I'm honest it's strictly rather on a part-time basis." Charlie had wandered back toward them.

"You don't say." Hatter said.

"And I dabble in the," he lowered his voice, "black arts now and then." Oh good, and he was superstitious. Bloody fantastic. Hatter'd be laughing if it wasn't so sad. "Soothsaying." Charlie raised his hands. "Toe-nail readings…" Toe-nail? Oh good God. Don't think about it. Don't picture…ah, I did. I pictured it. Gah, that's gross.

"Here let me show you." He reached for Alice's hand. "Give me your palm."

"Get off." Alice pulled her hand away, and Hatter noted it was the one with the ring as she pulled it to her side. His eyes fell on Charlie now. Let's see just how aware Sir Charles Eu…Charlie really is.

"What's that on your finger?" Charlie pointed down. The silliness had left his voice and Hatter got an uneasy feeling. He began to inch his way between them. Protectively.

Alice put her hand behind her back. "Nothing."

"It's the sacred ring." Charlie started. So, obviously, not as daft as he sounded. "The Stone of Wonderland. Our ring…"

Hatter put his hand on Charlie's rusting breastplate. "Don't get too excited, granddad. The ring stays on the lady's finger, okay?" But even as Hatter began to push the knight back a step, Charlie was dropping to his knees.

"It is meant to be. This time. This place. This meeting in the woods." Charlie's hands were clasped together as he kneeled in front of them.

"O-kay." Hatter guided Alice by the shoulder. "We need to get away from him or he's going to get us killed."

Alice shrugged off his grip. "But, maybe he could help us."

"Have you forgotten about the weirdo that's tailin' us? This…" He looked at Charlie, still yammering on about fates and such. "Freak show's gonna draw his attention for sure."

"This knight has survived out here for this long, maybe he knows a thing or two." She reasoned, although reason was hardly an appropriate word. You don't reason with a man who reads toe-nails. Just didn't happen. Even in Wonderland.

Before he could politely tell her she was out of her flipping mind, she was addressing Charlie. "Listen, Charlie, we have some very bad men who want to kill us and steal the ring. Do you know anywhere we could lay low for a little while?"

"The stars are aligned in a cosmic ray of hope."

Thank you, Charlie, right on cue. "And you want to put your faith in him?" Hatter asked again.

She seemed to think about her answer. "Yes." But apparently she didn't. "He might be nuts and a hundred and fifty years old and dressed like a car crash, but he's a survivor." How…what-in what world did that make sense? He was about to argue, but Charlie had stopped his chanting.

"And I'm not deaf." He stood regally. "Just Alice, I will be honored to escort you, your goods, and…" He sneered, "Vassal, to my sacred kingdom." He finished with a bow.

"Did he just call me a 'vessel'?"

Alice opened her mouth, but didn't actually reply.

"This way." Charlie called scooping up his shovel and heading off without a backward glance.

Hatter took Alice by the arm. "Hope you know what you're doing."

She looked at his hand and then into his eyes. "Yeah. I think I do."

"Think?"

"Hey, it's better than your plan." She gave him a small smirk. "Were you really just going to let that jabberwock chase you?"

He let her arm go, offended. "Maybe I was. And you don't know it wouldn't've worked. You ran the wrong way."

"Yeah, well what was the plan when it caught you?" She lifted an eyebrow, coy and oh so smug.

He glared, eyes dark and low. "Fine. But I didn't see you coming up with any bright ideas."

"I just did." She looked at Charlie, who gathered up his supplies and began loading them onto his horse.

Hatter followed her eyes and then turned back with a laugh. "Yeah, follow the crazy knight with the third eye. Cause that's not a path to instant death."

"Don't be so sure." She lifted her chin haughtily. "Sometimes people surprise you."

He nodded. "Yeah. They sure do."

Alice met his eyes again, but Charlie spoke before she could ask him what he meant.

"Are you two going to be much longer? I'm told you're under pursuit. Don't want to waste the day mucking about." Charlie had his horse by the reigns. Alice was the first to look away, walking over to the horses. "You're going to have to share." Charlie said as she approached, motioning to the only other horse.

Hatter cleared his throat and followed. Because, apparently, he went along with possibly horrible decisions now. Couldn't say that this morning.

A/N: Yikes, Charlie is so hard to understand. Took me forever to get all the pieces of his rants down accurately. Anyway, hope you liked this chapter. Next one should have a lot more original stuff and some good Hatter/Alice moments. I mean, riding a horse together, if I can't come up with some cute flirty moments for that I don't think I should write anymore. I will also be including the "Comfy?" Extension to the scene and expanding from there. So, yep, thanks for reading and to those that follow this story or have left comments. ^_^