The Stars We Live By
Chapter 7: Break
1830 comes and goes. Fai doesn't show up in the lab. Touya remains at the benches, testing the samples with chemicals that Kurogane's already tried before, and he remembers another time, when he and Fai were alone in the lab, shoving each other around and pressing up against benches and kissing, but it doesn't give him any joy, now.
He hasn't seen Fai all day, and the thought of him stings. Kurogane doesn't know what he feels about Fai anymore. All he feels is a flatness in his chest, and anger, and betrayal, and he doesn't know what to do about any of it.
He breaks a petri dish in his hand, looks down only when the shards poke into his skin. They're not sharp enough to bleed, only to annoy, and he tosses it in a bin, shrugs his coat off. Kurogane pauses by the notice board to pull the months-old AI law that— He put that up on the same day Fai came into the lab. Fai was the only person who read it, and he'd said goddamn nothing about the law. Kurogane scrunches the pages up and shoves them into his back pocket.
Touya calls after him. "Hey. Where're you going?"
"Out."
"We have a fuck ton of samples—"
The lab doors slide shut, and Kurogane strides down the white corridors with his hands in his pockets, heading to nowhere in particular. He needs to look for Fai. He needs access to the Station's systems, or the Droid Unit, or something. The droids he passes make his hair stand on end. He watches them from the corner of his eye, certain that they'll turn and try to take him on, but they don't. They trudge down the corridors, white and programmed and emotionless, and they do not meet his eye.
Unnerved, he heads to the Farm.
The doors slide open when he rounds the corridor, and a droid steps out. Kurogane skirts around it, watches it the entire time it plods down the corridor to wherever it's headed, his presence completely ignored.
He can't ignore it, himself, but he scans his ID and turns into the Farm anyway, sees the dimming lights of the optical fiber lamps hanging from the ceiling. It's a greyish twilight in here, a poor imitation of an actual sunset on Earth. He hasn't been in this place at this time, either, and despite the gurgling of the aquariums, it's stark and empty, and very lonely.
He stalks through the racks of hanging plants, looking for a flash of long hair or any feminine face, but he finds no one, only little droids silently at work.
He realizes he should have asked Sakura if she's still working at the Farm before he actually came here, but she hasn't replied to his email yet. He realizes, too, that she's probably having dinner with her father now, or something.
The last person Kurogane had dinner with was Fai, in the kitchens, and they were laughing over the most ridiculous things they've seen on a Bloody Mary.
Kurogane drops his eyes to the floor, stalks out of the Farm, and decides to try the Commander's office instead. He should have gone there first, really. Fai has connections with the Commander. The Commander would believe him if he were to talk about AIs.
The corridor that leads up to the Commander's office is busy, as usual. There are about ten droids walking up and down to different offices, and just seeing them all is enough to make his stomach turn. He stares at them as he walks, turns back to look at those behind him, but none of them display any reaction to his scrutiny.
Ahead, the server room door slides open to admit a droid, and another droid steps aside to let it in.
Kurogane scans his ID at the entrance to the Commander's reception area, waits while the receptionist processes his data. When the doors slide open, there are a few people seated in the waiting area, and the blonde girl—she looks familiar, Kurogane remembers seeing her at the pregnancy party, but she doesn't look any more pregnant than before—smiles up at him.
"There's a wait," she announces. "All urgent appointments, so even if you have something urgent, you're going to have to wait, too."
He sighs, paces around the room, nods at the people on the other side. Long minutes drag by before the Commander's office doors slide open. The people who leave are dressed in dull grey uniforms—staff from the Droid Unit.
He finally sits when the waiting staff take their turn with the Commander. They're dressed in pale blue—staff from the disposal unit. Kurogane sighs again. All these people are here because of the rust problem, and most of it is Fai's fault. Or maybe it isn't quite his fault, but they are a result of things that he did, knowingly or unknowingly.
By the time the people in blue step out, Kurogane's no closer to actually knowing what he'll say to the Commander, but the man smiles for him to head in anyway.
"Kurogane. It's good to see you. Please take a seat," Ashura says, waving at the chair closer to him.
Kurogane doesn't really want to sit, but anything the Commander says is more of an order, so he sits. He pulls the rumpled AI law out of his pocket, slides it across the steel desk, and Ashura's eyebrows rise.
He doesn't know where Ashura is from. The man is pale, with black hair that should be grey for the way he carries himself like a stately old man. Kurogane suspects that he dyes it, and privately scoffs, because he'd rather wear his age instead of hiding it like it's a shameful thing.
"I suspect there's AIs on the Station."
Ashura's eyebrows lift further yet. "Really? This is a grave issue, Kurogane. Are you sure?"
"Yeah. I think Fluorite has them."
The Commander leans forward in his seat, all manner of ease falling from his face. "What makes you say that? Has Fai mentioned them to you?"
He shrugs. "Just. The way he's been talking about them. I haven't seen them or anything, but I want to search for them. This law gives me the right to."
Ashura takes a deep breath, looks down at the printed law, and exhales.
"Did you know about them?" Kurogane asks.
"No, I did not." Ashura shakes his head slowly, and the weariness on his features becomes more apparent with each passing minute. "I was not aware of this, but I will need some proof before I give you access to his quarters, you understand."
Kurogane frowns. "I don't have solid proof. I've scanned the droids he uses, but I think he switched them out for another pair when he knew what I was gonna do. Those AIs could be anywhere on the Station. They're walking around right now. They're a risk to everybody."
"What did he... What makes you think he has droids? Do you remember his exact words?" Ashura slides the printed sheets towards him. "I've seen this law. I will not have to retain this set."
Kurogane takes the papers back. "He talked about how AIs are like kids. He said you have to teach them not to kill. He keeps denying he has them, but when I first said he has AIs, his eyes— He was scared. He was shaking in the Droid Unit last week."
Ashura sags back into his chair, pinches the bridge of his nose. "Does this have anything to do with the rust problem in the Droid Unit, perchance?"
"Pretty sure it does. He had one of his droids in there. I don't know why it was there, but he wanted to get it out really bad."
"You did not mention this to anyone before today?" Ashura's eyes are back on him, now, sharp, and Kurogane refuses to be intimidated by them.
"Yeah. I wanted to be sure about the AIs before I said anything."
"Very well. I'll grant you access to Fai's quarters."
"His ship too?"
"That, as well."
Ashura pushes one of the buttons on his desk phone. "Chii, please give Kurogane access rights to Fai's quarters and The Voyager."
A few moments and some tinny tapping across the phone later, Chii answers, "Kurogane's access rights modified, Commander."
"Can I get better access to the Station's codes?" Kurogane asks.
Ashura considers it, shakes his head. "I'm afraid not. I will begin my own investigations into this, however."
"Thanks." Kurogane gets to his feet and turns to leave, his chest filled with new direction and purpose. If he catches Fai—
"Kurogane." Ashura's eyes seem almost sad when Kurogane looks over his shoulder. "Regarding Fai. You have been close friends with him—did you do all this just for the sake of searching out his AIs?"
"No," he says, offended.
"Thank you." Ashura cracks a tiny smile at him. "I would like you to keep your suspicions private, for now."
"Yeah, it isn't anyone else's business." It's not like they believe him, anyway.
"Again, thank you."
Kurogane shrugs, steps through the double doors, and the receptionist waves at him. "Are you guys dating?" she asks, grinning.
He scowls and doesn't answer, and his chest aches with loss.
x
To: Sakura Fite
From: Youou Kurogane
9 Jun 2509, 20:47:36
Subject: Farm
Was at the Farm. Thought I'd find you but I couldn't.
Regards,
Kurogane
Research Scientist
General Processing Lab
x
Fai looks up when the door slides open. Syaoran's already there, ready to hinder anyone who might be coming in, but it's only Sakura, and he sighs with relief. She flashes green at him.
When the doors are shut and locked, he leads the way to the back of the room, where there are no droids and it's not nearly as hot as it is right next to the data servers, and pulls his children into a hug. It's the first time he's seen Sakura in a while, and it eases the worry in his chest to feel her little body against him again.
"Any news?" he asks.
"Only some relatively bad news," Sakura answers, stroking his back. "Kurogane's searching for you. He told people that there's AIs on the Station, but no one believes him. He's been in the system's codes and he tried looking for me at the Farm. I think he was looking for a human female, though."
Fai cringes. He doesn't want to know what Kurogane thinks of him now. Kurogane probably hates him, and he should have stopped whatever was going on between them long ago, but he wasn't capable of it. That Kurogane is looking for him now can only mean bad news. "Any updates on the rust?"
"No updates," Syaoran says.
He wraps his hands around his knees, leans his head into the warm steel wall. The server room is large and stuffy, full of whirring, towering machines and black cables and blinking lights, and the single droid at the front doesn't do much other than brush dust off all the equipment and monitor the room temperature. From what Syaoran told him, hardly anyone comes to the server room, so Fai's uniform is unzipped partway to allow his sweat to dry.
"I assume we're fine for now," he says.
"What do you feel about Kurogane?" Sakura asks. He pulls her into his lap, draping his arms loosely around her because it's far too hot for him to want her processor pressed up against his body. "Are you feeling better?"
He shrugs. "Not really. But it had to happen sooner or later, so it wasn't as though I didn't expect it."
"But you still miss him," Syaoran says next to him, short legs stretched out on the tiled floor.
"I guess I do. It'll probably get better after some time. I'll get over it."
"Is it bad if I'm happy that you'll spend all your time with us again?" Sakura asks.
Fai huffs a weak laugh. "Nope. I'm glad I have you guys. You're like little troopers, you know? I'm so grateful that I have you with me. I'm also very sorry that I haven't been spending as much time with you."
"It's okay, Fai." Sakura leans into his chest. "If you had sex with Kurogane, does it mean that you won't need it as much now?"
He stares at her, tries not to think about it. "Where are you learning to ask questions like that?"
"We learn things from you," Syaoran says.
"I hope you aren't learning the bad things," he answers dryly.
"We learned that you still need sex even as a cyborg," Sakura adds. "Is that a bad thing to learn?"
"That's all you need to know on that subject, I'm sure. Have you encountered any problems now that you're running MokoScript all the time?"
"I like it," Sakura says.
"It's very informative," Syaoran adds. "I notice a lot more about people than I would usually have."
"Such as?"
"Such as the people going in and out of the corridor today all have bad moods," Syaoran says. "They don't look at the droids, but they know where to step to avoid us. Is that due to your peripheral vision?"
"It is," Fai answers. "Clever boy!"
"I liked going into the canteen," Sakura says. "I can almost taste the food there."
"Really?"
"I've been analyzing the chemical compounds from the air in the canteen. I can identify the food they belong to! So garlic and onions smelled good. At least, you've said they smell good."
"That's wonderful," Fai tells her. "Have there been any mentions of AIs?"
"I heard one person saying Kurogane told them there's AIs on board, but they don't believe him," Sakura answers.
"There's no aggression towards AIs themselves, though?"
"Not that I've seen. No one talks about AIs."
"I'm glad."
They sit in silence for a while, Sakura and Syaoran flashing colors at each other. Fai jumps when his phone vibrates in his pocket. He releases Sakura, tugs it out, and checks the screen.
"Ashura emailed. He—"
Fai, meet me at your earliest convenience. This is regarding some artificial intelligence units.
He stops breathing, heart pounding far too loud in his chest, and he stares at the bright screen in his hand. When Fai can finally speak again, he's breathless. "Bad news seems to come all at once, doesn't it?"
Both children lean in to look, and they flash yellow at the same time.
"Does he know about us?" Syaoran asks, alarmed.
"It looks like he does." Fai pulls a deep breath, then another. His stomach has twisted into knots. "I think Kurogane might have told him."
"It wasn't from the Droid Unit?"
"I don't think so. I've changed the repair sequences from last week. There shouldn't have been any discrepancies detected."
But Ashura knows, and Ashura alone has the power to decide the fate of Fai's children.
"Should we go with you?" Sakura asks.
"No. Please don't. It's dangerous enough as it is." He remains for a few more moments with his children, hugs them tight until he's calm enough to move again. His leg twinges. "Stay here while I go. I'll do my best."
"We believe in you," Syaoran says, holding his hand. "Be safe, Fai."
"You guys be safe, as well." He kisses them both on the visor, zips his uniform back up, and heads out of the server room, his palms slick with sweat.
It takes him all of moments to walk down the corridor to Ashura's office. Fai glimpses black hair and a lab coat rounding a corner, walking away, and his stomach constricts. He barely missed bumping into Kurogane, and he should have dallied longer. But there's no use standing outside Ashura's office, so he scans his ID, and heads in.
Chii smiles up at him. She's snapping folders shut and throwing colorful sticky notes into her bin, hardly looking at her computer. "Your boyfriend just left."
He doesn't feel any better, hearing that. "You're not staying any longer?"
"Nope! The Commander said I can go. He's not having any more meetings after yours tonight."
"Okay. Right." Fai gulps, knocks on the next set of double doors.
Ashura looks very, very tired when the doors open. Fai winces. His godfather looks up, though, and manages a smile. "Fai. I have been expecting you."
Fai doesn't bother with formalities, this time. He makes it across the office somehow, sinks into a chair at Ashura's desk, tucks his hands into his lap. The denim of his jeans don't absorb the dampness from his palms very well. "Kurogane was here to see you?"
"He told me his suspicions that you possess some AI systems, yes." Ashura leans back into his seat, rubs a hand across his face. "How long has this been going on, Fai?"
There isn't any use trying to lie to him, not at this point, so Fai doesn't. "Three years," he admits. "Since, since the accident."
Ashura sighs. "That's a very long time."
"It is. I'm sorry."
"I assume that no incidents have occurred since their conception."
"There have been none." Fai stares at the woven steel pencil holder to the side of Ashura's phone, and the back of the photo frame that sits by his screen. "I've been doing well with them, actually."
"Have you noticed any signs of rebellion in them?"
Fai shakes his head. "When they get to their teenage years, perhaps. I probably won't feed them those books, though. That is, if you'll allow them to live."
Ashura leans forward at this point, his expression growing soft. "Why this, Fai? You are aware of the consequences, should you be caught. We, as a people, are no longer accepting of AI systems."
"I know that. I just... I can't. I can't have droids that don't talk back to me." When Ashura nods for him to continue, he mumbles, "The, the accident. It was, it was bad. I wasn't familiar enough with engine mechanics and I needed a second opinion. The droid couldn't give me that. Robots can't think."
"You've never mentioned that." Ashura's eyes are sad and dark, and Fai looks back down. "Why didn't you?"
He shrugs. "By the time I recovered, my duties were reshuffled. I figured... since I'm spending time alone on missions anyway, it wouldn't matter."
Ashura stands and reaches over the desk, setting a firm palm on his shoulder. "You could have told me your difficulties. I could have written a clause out for you."
"The thing is, I don't want to receive more special treatment than I have," Fai blurts before he can regret it. Ashura's touch is comforting, though, and grounding. "The people on the Station hate me for it. I don't want to give them more cause to do so."
His godfather frowns. "It's within my power to prevent that. You should inform me whenever that happens."
He winces. "I'm aware that you want me to. But you're the Commander of the Station. It's better for people to hate me, than it is for them to hate you. We don't need an actual human revolution."
"But you are my son." Ashura gives his shoulder another squeeze, and sits back in his seat. "You should not have to suffer the consequences of my decisions. It's high time the Station knows how we're related."
He shakes his head vigorously. "No! If they find out about what I can do and how I'm related to you, they're only going to distrust you more. We cannot risk that."
Ashura sighs. "I did not choose to be Commander. It is a regret that I do not have enough time to spend with you, but I'm glad that I was able to bring you along when we left Earth."
Fai shrugs awkwardly. He should have stayed on Earth, and be wiped out with the rest of the population. "So... what about the, the AIs? Are you going to, well."
"Tell me about them."
Fai does. He tells Ashura about Sakura and her penchant for humor, about her love of animals and fish and plants on the Farm. He tells him about Syaoran and his love of books, about his poetry and thirst for architecture and history and his fondness for Sakura.
"You made them fall in love?" Ashura asks, the corner of his mouth twitching up.
He smiles hesitantly back. "I didn't want them to be lonely when I'm busy with things, so I thought it'd be really cute if they liked each other. I think they've started holding hands. They've started talking about being prince and princess."
"That's not what I expected of your AI systems."
"I was rather rusty when I created them. It had been a while."
"They seem to be doing well, however. I'm pleased with that."
Fai stares. "You are?"
Ashura smiles at him then, pride in his gaze. "You've always had a deep understanding of your creations, Fai. I trust that you won't lead them down the same path others have done."
"I won't." Fai squirms in his chair. "So when Kurogane told you about my AIs..."
"I was disappointed that someone was aware of them. There is no solid evidence of them yet—that will serve to aid you if a dispute comes up. I have had to grant him access to search your quarters and your ship, however." Ashura meets his eyes apologetically. "You're welcome to seek shelter in one of my rooms in the meantime."
Fai shakes his head. "I'll be fine. Thank you."
"Anytime, my dear child."
"Thanks for not telling anyone," he says after a pause.
Ashura reaches over for his hands, and pats them. "Everyone deserves second chances."
"This has to be my tenth."
"Perhaps. But I am biased towards you, of course."
They sit together in silence, and Fai realizes that he's calmed down. He relaxes into his seat, finally makes himself comfortable. None of this is resolved, though. Not the rust infiltrating the droids, not the threat that Kurogane still poses towards his children. He stretches his arm out for the photo frame that sits further away, on the other side of Ashura's screen.
There are two boys in the photo, both blond, both blue-eyed, both smiling, one in a green shirt, the other in blue. Like the photos in Fai's room, this one is yellowed, too, but he still remembers the heat of the summer sun on grass like it's yesterday.
What isn't visible in the photo are the tattoos on their legs, fully-healed by that point, and covered up in jeans. Ashura had been vaguely disapproving when he discovered what they'd done, really only because they had not told him about it earlier, showing up at breakfast the next day in shorts with the sides of their legs bandaged.
"I miss him as well," Ashura says, watching him. Fai traces a thumb over the smilier boy in the picture, his chest aching. Yuui had died of illness years after this shot, a quick thing that had taken him in the course of a week. In his feverish state, he hadn't remembered anyone except Fai, in the end.
Fai replaces the photo frame, his throat tight.
Ashura waits for him to speak. When he finally does, Fai blows out a deep breath. "I took one of the data tapes you created, that had videos of Yuui and me on them. I copied the data to the server, cut some tape out, and inserted that into Syaoran and Sakura's memory drives. The data there serves as the seed for random number and event generation, which affects their decision tree. So... It really means that there's a part of Yuui and I in my AI units. They're, quite literally, my children."
Ashura's eyes light up. "That is a novel modification. I am very impressed."
Fai cracks a smile. "You should meet them sometime, you know. They're very endearing."
"I'm sure they are." After a while, Ashura sobers up. "Speaking of the droids, I'm sure you've heard of the reports from the Droid Unit, as well as from Disposal."
He grimaces. "Yes, I have. What do you plan on doing with the Station's droids?"
"Right now, it seems that the only viable option would be to melt the droids down, and re-manufacture their parts from scratch."
"That... involves a very high energy requirement."
"It is. I have been thinking about sending equipment and droids to the green pea galaxy—three of the planets there have high atmospheric oxygen readings. We will install temporary furnaces there to melt droid parts into their component metals. When the Station is cleared of rust, we will bring the metals back for re-manufacturing."
"I'll go," Fai says immediately. "I'm familiar with the GPGs."
"And I will be sending a droid crew with you. However, there is still the matter of your AI systems—Syaoran and Sakura. Can you move their programs somewhere onto a server, while their bodies are being rebuilt?"
Fai's breath catches in his throat. "The... the data tape. It's welded to their memory drives, I'm not sure if I can remove that without damage to their systems."
Ashura's mouth thins. "You will have to find a way to, Fai. All of the droids have to be re-manufactured to minimize the risks to the Station."
"I, I will," he says, heart sinking, not meaning it at all.
"Very well. Touya has mentioned that the rust originates from the sample you brought back. The very same as the one containing 5% EEA."
Fai winces. He looks at the silvery pen in Ashura's hands, bows his head. "I'm sorry. I didn't anticipate that it would be the cause of all these issues. I should have looked more closely at the bio-scan readings."
"We will have to move on instead of lingering on what has happened," Ashura answers. "I am sorry to say that we're unable to use this sample, Fai. What I can do is to waive your second EEA penalty—"
"Please don't. I will take full responsibility for it."
His godfather looks at him for a long moment. "I don't want the Station's rules to work against you. It pains me that you're in this situation."
Fai straightens his shoulders. "I will manage it somehow. Don't worry about me, Ashura."
Ashura purses his mouth. "Very well."
"How is Disposal handling the situation?"
"They are managing. There is some rust on the interior walls, but we have been cutting out infected parts and isolating them. The current estimate on the rust growth is 4-6 weeks."
Fai glances down at his hands, queasy. "I'll do my best to rectify the situation. If you need my help, please inform me."
"I will do so. In the meantime, shall we have dinner?"
Fai realizes that he's hungry, so he nods. They stand from the desk, and he casts a last look at the photos on his godfather's desk, before following him through a side door into his private quarters, to await dinner from the canteens.
x
x
Kurogane doesn't find anything in Fai's quarters.
The first time he visits, he riffles through Fai's desk drawers and closet, but there are only tools and clothes and a box of patches, and not much else. He finds data tapes, too, that he plays on Fai's computer, only to realize that they are videos of Fai and his brother, things that are more family than artificial intelligence, that he has no business prying into.
He isn't able to access Fai's Station account on his computer. Instead, he looks around at his belongings—an assortment of colorful rocks of all shapes and sizes, lining up the back shelf of his desk. Photo frames, with pictures of himself, his brother, and Ashura, and Fai and his droids. A data tape, with black tape neatly severed and left out to dangle. Old, old word search books, and books on cybernetic engineering. The tiny droid figurines he made, proudly on display right beneath Fai's computer screen. Looking at them fills him with a sort of bitterness, now.
Behind the rock collection, there is a plaque, words etched on a copper plate.
Employee of the Year
Fai D. Fluorite
Artificial Intelligence Development
Piffle Tech
2494
Kurogane stares. He picks up the plaque, turns it around, but there is just flat wood backing behind it, and nothing else.
Fai was the best at AI development in a company. Not just any company, but the one right at the forefront of technology in 2494. Kurogane had heard of it, even when he was only 11 at that time. His family had a number of electronics in the house by Piffle Tech. His mom swore by their rice cooker. How many of the AIs in the revolution came from Piffle? There were countless. Yet, Fai has not tried to hide the award. Kurogane had just not been looking closely enough, and damn is he an idiot.
He swears at himself, drops the plaque on the table. If he shows this to the rest of the staff, they'll all hate Fai, and maybe they'll believe Kurogane, now. But Kurogane doesn't have actual proof of the AI units.
And Fai— Maybe he deserves to face the consequences of his actions, but Fai's just been doing stupid things lately. Betraying Kurogane. He doesn't need the rest of the staff hating him. Kurogane can't do that to him, even if this leaves a bad taste down his throat. This is between the two of them.
Kurogane leaves the plaque on the desk, scans the rest of the room. There is really nothing here, and the bed is so narrow that he wonders how Fai sleeps on it without falling off. (Fai doesn't move a lot in his sleep.) He shouldn't be thinking about Fai.
The smell of the janitors' closets isn't as strong in this room. It smells like deodorant and machine oil, like a bit of old sweat and human.
He's still angry with Fai. He is.
Kurogane turns and leaves the room, and doesn't look back.
x
x
The second time Kurogane visits Fai's quarters is the very next day, and the room is just as he left it. Fai hasn't returned.
x
x
He finds Fai the day after that. When Kurogane scans his ID and the door slides open, Fai is on his bed. He looks up from lifting his thigh casing away, face growing pale at the sight of Kurogane.
Kurogane watches as he gulps, sets the thigh casing down between his bare legs. He doesn't want to think about the metal parts, or the dragon tattoo, so he keeps his eyes fixed on Fai's. "I've been looking for you."
"There's nothing to see here." Fai looks back down at his leg, shines a flashlight into his thigh cavity. Kurogane follows his eyes. No rust. He still looks beautiful in the drabness of his quarters.
Kurogane doesn't want to think that. He steps into the room, and the door shuts them in. "I'm here for your AIs."
"There are no AIs." Blue eyes lodge firmly on the interior of his leg, and Fai pokes around his wires with a screwdriver. After a while, he opens up his knee.
"You can't lie to me, idiot. You're hiding them." Vaguely, he wonders why Fai is still here instead of flying out on another mission, but he doesn't ask. It's not his business. "AIs aren't allowed on the Station. They're a threat to everyone."
Fai sighs. He closes up his knee, sets to work on his calf. He doesn't look up. "Do you feel threatened, Kurogane? None of us are allowed weapons. Disposal is dealing with holes on the inner walls. We're more likely to suffocate than be attacked by an imaginary threat."
"It's not an imaginary threat," he snaps. He wants to shake the damn idiot. "There's AIs on the damn Station, and you know it!"
Fai screws his calf casing back on. He pulls his pants halfway up, replaces his thigh casing, and the way he looks back at Kurogane is hesitant, melancholy. "You saw my history with Piffle, and yet you're still doubting what I say about AI systems?"
"Most of the AIs in the revolution were from Piffle."
"Because most of the AIs were made by Piffle."
"So you contributed to the revolution, and now you're going to sink the Station—"
"I am not," Fai says, sharply. "Do I seem the type? Most of the AIs were already built before I joined Piffle Tech. For fuck's sake."
"There's still the ones on the Station—"
"Have you not been listening? AIs are sentient. You treat them the way you want to be treated. If you teach them not to kill, they will not kill! Damn it."
"They're just robots, they won't understand! They will start to murder people, sooner or later. Just you wait—"
"Why don't you wait, then? See if anyone on this Station actually gets murdered?" Fai's glaring at him, now, throwing tools back into his desk drawers and slamming them shut. "You'll be waiting a long time, just so you know. Someone else will murder me first."
The idiot slips out of his room before Kurogane can grab his shoulders and shake him, and Kurogane hurries out, striding fast to catch up. He decides that if Fai won't let slip any clues, then he will follow the idiot however long he takes.
Except Fai leads him through the corridor to the Commander's office, and it's full of droids, enough to make him tense.
"What if I were to say that all these aren't just droids?" Fai murmurs.
Next to him, Kurogane glares, his stomach constricting.
But Fai doesn't. He goes to the Droid Unit, and the hangars, and sees to preparations for a preliminary droid exodus. It explains why he's still on the Station. Kurogane wonders if Ashura's giving him this mission on purpose, whether Ashura knows what Fai can do with all these droids.
In the end, he leaves to talk to Ashura, and Ashura isn't much help at all, either. He says that Fai volunteered for the mission. Fai will take the droids to a green pea galaxy and melt them all down to destroy all traces of rust.
Kurogane gets a bad feeling from this, but he still doesn't have proof of any AIs yet, and Ashura spreads his hands open.
"I trust that Fai will do his job well," Ashura tells him.
Kurogane isn't so sure he will.
x
x
Fai sinks onto the tiled floor of the data server room, folding his arms over his knees. His limbs are aching, his leg is itching, and his neck hurts from how he's been sleeping curled up on the floor the past two nights.
"I saw you with Kurogane earlier," Syaoran says, flashing a single spot of yellow. "Neither of you were happy."
"He's been following me." Fai sighs, burying his face in his forearms. "I'm so tired of everything. The rust, the droids. The mission preparations have been such a pain."
He has been trying to get the staff from Production to help with loading equipment onto a ship far larger than the Sparrow, so he can fly it to one of Ashura's planets, but few have been willing to help. Fai had to drag some of the equipment onto the ship by himself, very nearly spraining his muscles trying to do so, and the staff turned a blind eye on him while he heaved and pushed.
Kurogane, of course, chose the worst moments to appear and disappear, and Fai could have used some of his brute strength with the dismantled furnace pieces.
"He doesn't still like you, does he?" Sakura asks. She sets an arm down on his shoulders, pats him lightly.
Fai shakes his head. "Doubtful. He's just— really angry with me. I think he probably hates me now, but he's trying to use me to track you guys down. As it is, I shouldn't even be here."
"But where will you sleep?"
"I'll... I'll probably return to my quarters. It's not as though he's found anything there." The people on the Station have, surprisingly, not begun pointing fingers at him yet. Maybe Kurogane's waiting for the perfect time to expose his stint at Piffle.
Fai heaves a sigh, counts to twenty, and rocks himself onto his feet. When the droid mission begins, he'll have some time to rest in peace, and to figure how he can keep his children intact without destroying them completely. Until then, he just has to sneak them on board The Nova, avoid Kurogane, and stay out of everyone's way.
He isn't really thinking when he trudges up to the door and hits the unlocking switch, children following some paces behind.
Except the door opens to Kurogane storming down the corridor, and he looks first at Fai, then at the droids in the room. Fai takes a subconscious step back. Kurogane's bounding forward suddenly, and he panics, tries to find a way to close the door faster, but the door edges shut like a dinosaur, and Fai's heart leaps to his throat.
"You," Kurogane snarls, stepping through the threshold of the server room. The door shuts and locks, and there's ice in Fai's chest. Kurogane grabs his collar in a fist, and Fai sees Syaoran step forward, flashing yellow.
"Wolfie," Fai yelps. It's a code to put Syaoran on immediate standby, and Syaoran freezes, dead to the world. Red eyes snap onto him, glittering and triumphant, and Fai realizes it was a mistake. His stomach drops.
He plants both hands on Kurogane's chest, shoves him backwards, turns his head so Kurogane can't see him looking pointedly at Sakura, then at the door. Kurogane pushes forward, grabs his shoulders to throw him off, and Fai stumbles, darting back to tackle Kurogane by the waist. Kurogane's ready for him, though. He takes Fai by the shoulders again, steers him aside, and Fai waits a second for his attention to return to the children, before bending down low and ramming his entire weight into Kurogane's side to force him further into the room.
Heart thudding, he gasps, "MokoScript, activate!"
Syaoran flashes blue. From the corner of his eye, Fai sees Sakura grab his hand. They race for the door, and Kurogane roars against him. Fai grits his teeth, clings onto Kurogane's waist when he tries to fling him aside, shoves his leg in front of Kurogane's feet when he starts forward. Kurogane doesn't trip. It doesn't slow him down, and there's not enough time for the children to get to the door.
Fai rears up, slaps a hand across Kurogane's eyes.
"Get the fuck off me, damn it!" Kurogane snarls, batting his hand off. Fai wraps his legs around Kurogane's, wincing when Kurogane kicks at him in his attempt to get at the children, but it helps, when his arms go around Kurogane's thighs and his legs close in around Kurogane's feet, and Kurogane trips, falling onto him so his knee slams into his chest.
Fai hits the floor with a low groan, all the air knocked out of his lungs. He feels his ribs creak beneath Kurogane's weight, and for a moment, he thinks he will be crushed like that. It would be good to die quick.
Kurogane rolls off from him and onto his feet, and Fai panics again, scrambles up to grab at his legs. The children are at the door, now, waiting for it to open, and Kurogane's so close to them that Fai can't breathe, can only duck in front of Kurogane, throwing himself between Kurogane and his children.
"The hell are you doing," Kurogane growls, his eyes flashing red, his biceps bulging, fists clenched.
"They are my children," Fai hisses, glaring. "These are not murderers. I will not let you hurt them."
"The fuck you aren't." Kurogane lunges forward, fist swinging up, and Fai barely ducks, enough for it to graze the side of his head.
"Fai!" Syaoran yelps.
"Go!"
Fai throws himself at Kurogane, grabbing at his face, smacking his palms over his eyes, and Kurogane knocks his hands off, shoves him aside. He charges again at Kurogane's legs, hugs his calves so Kurogane can't move without tripping, and Kurogane's arms swing wide, almost catching Sakura by the head.
But the door slides open, the children step through, disappearing around the doorjamb, and Fai holds on tight, long enough for Kurogane to punch his head again. This time, Fai lets him. Pain explodes in the side of his skull, and he releases Kurogane's legs, his vision winking.
"Damn you," Kurogane snaps from somewhere above. "They're gonna wreck havoc on the Station now, you idiot! We're gonna die!"
Fai cracks a weak smile. The tightness in his chest has eased, and he's triumphant, now, pulse racing, proud of his children for making it out alive. "Tell me that tomorrow."
"There isn't gonna be a tomorrow!"
"Yes, there is. You don't know these guys."
Kurogane hauls him up by his collar, now, snarls inches away from his face. "How the fuck are they your kids, damn it? How low can you get, fucking around with them? Making hellspawn like that?"
Fai grins up at him, not worried, not anymore. Kurogane can kill him here, and it wouldn't matter. He has succeeded. "You've slept with me, Kurogane. You know what kind of trash I am."
And maybe it should matter, but Fai is past caring, now. He doesn't have anything else to lose.
"I shouldn't have," Kurogane mutters, flinging him aside, his eyes glimmering with disgust.
Fai looks away and smiles. It hurts, and he will only allow Kurogane to see him smile. "You have been an idiot. I warned you."
Kurogane straightens, towers over him. For a moment, Fai expects a kick in his stomach, but he only turns away.
At the server room door, Kurogane pauses, looking back, his eyes dark. "I expected better of you."
He steps out then, and the door closes, leaving Fai alone in the room with the single working droid, a grey duster in its hands.
It's surprisingly quiet now, after what just transpired. It shouldn't be this peaceful in here. Something should be on fire, and there should be more wreckage around than this. Instead, all there is is Fai, alone on the floor, aching in places, with the server towers whirring to his side. He laughs to himself, mirthless. "Everyone expects better of me," he mutters. "It's not just you."
x
x
There are many things Fai regrets, like not spending more time with Yuui before his death, not taking more pictures with him, not trying harder to keep him safe. He regrets leaving Earth with Ashura, regrets not building himself an AI before the accident, regrets agreeing to work on the faulty engine, when no one else would do it.
Right now, he's regretting the things he said to Kurogane in the server room last night.
He waves the tiny fleet of ten droids along the corridors to the hangar. "Droid group 1, board The Nova in Hangar 12."
The group marches along, five rows of two, and Fai steps aside to let them move ahead of him. After this, there will be another group of ten, and he'll take this first batch of droids out to the green pea galaxy to do the meltdowns.
If he never created his children, would Kurogane accept him for who he is? He would, wouldn't he? He has his children now, though. Children who will care for him no matter what. Children who will not judge him for the things he creates, and the things he needs.
Fai breathes out, jams his hands in his pockets, and follows his droids, the reverse of a mother duck leading her ducklings. It's early; he doesn't expect there to be any interference when he leaves on this mission in two hours. Ashura has already signed off on it, and his things are packed.
The corridors are white, as usual, and Fai looks at his feet, at the whiteness of the droids in front of him, at how he stands out against all this lack of color with his uniform. He's tired of the Station, he realizes. He wants a home, a house with his children and a garden and large windows they can sit in front of, chatting about people and science and make-believe worlds. He wants...
Someone rounds a corridor up ahead, and Fai doesn't look up, not at first. It's only when the person doesn't seem to move closer, that he refocuses his vision, and—
His heart still misses a beat, even now, and Fai looks away from the brown of Kurogane's skin, from the black of his hair, the dark splotches of color that he makes in the white of the corridor. Kurogane's holding a ceramic mug of something. Coffee, Fai realizes, and he knows the exact words to tease with, but holds them behind his teeth. He follows his droids.
They march ever closer, and Kurogane still doesn't move, just stands in the corridor, looking at the group of droids and Fai, and Fai silently thanks the two on the third row because they must know what he's feeling, right now. They march along with the rest of the droids, not a step out of place, and the distance between them and Kurogane shortens with every second.
He doesn't react when the first of the droids walk by. Fai looks at the flat railings against the walls, at the way Kurogane's fingers tighten around his mug, and unsticks his lips.
"These are not the droids you're looking for," he says quietly, and the words are ice between them, a splintering divide. He doesn't meet red eyes, does not look to see the way Kurogane reacts. "Move along, now."
Except Kurogane doesn't move, and Fai brushes by him, head bowed, an open pit of regret in his chest.
He still has his children, but they may not be enough, in the end.