It was night time, after Kirk had left the academy he had sought out something familiar. He had ventured back to the haunts of his old life. The places were different, but the sights , smells, sounds, feelings were the sane. The recklessness he had spent most of his life in before the academy was what he wanted. It was the only way for him to get away. Living on the edge left little room for thinking or remembering.

Kirk slid off his motorcycle and pulled the ignition chip out. He tossed a now empty bottle of liquor to the side. Above him loomed an old –fashioned neon sign, haphazardly hanging in front of a older brick building. In front of a building stood a group of tough looking bikers, he started pass them and was vaguely disappointed when they didn't react except to stare at him. It wasn't that he was out of place that made them stare , it was more that his face bore the unmistakable signs of a recent fight, and he had an attitude that even the most body-language blind person could read, that said he was spoiling for another one and didn't care if he won.

Kirk was reconsidering whether the—he glanced at the sign –Viper's nest—was really as good as it's reputation. He had heard it sold almost every illegal liquor that was available this side of the Alpha quadrant. He had heard about the other illegal substances that were enough to knock out twelve full grown Le-matya, and he knew that all manner of woman frequented the place. But the atmosphere was totally ruined for him if the occupants of the bar turned out to be anything like the almost placid patrons he had seen out front. Because no matter whether he was high, drunk or making out with somebody he didn't even know, nothing took his mind off anything else like getting into a fight. Preferably one he wasn't going to win.

The inside of the bar was hazy with the smoke of at least 20 different mostly illegal alien drugs. A wash of noise rushed over him, loud throbbing music and the voices of the other patrons as they argued, talked, or whistle and cat-called at the almost naked women strolling the floor serving drinks or...doing other things.

Kirk picked his way through the dance floor packed with people, crossed to the bar and ordered a drink. "Hey," He twisted around as he heard a woman's voice. "You look a little out of place, maybe I can help you with that?" Kirk appraised the woman she was slightly blue skinned and had cat-shaped eyes. Her clothes were almost non-existent and consisted of a strip of cloth across her chest and an extremely short skirt.

Kirk grinned drunkenly "Maybe you can." The next few minutes that followed were a indistinct melange of flirting and off-colour comments.

Before he was fully aware of how it had happened, they were in a secluded hall ,she was gasping in his ear, and her fingernails were digging into his back. Kirk felt her hot breath on his neck and pulled her closer. He had no idea who she was, not even her name, but that was okay. Names, weren't important, he preferred things impersonal. He focused on kissing her and slid his hands further down her back. He gently pushed her further against the wall. He was stopped from going farther by a low, harsh voice.

"Move it, you're mine. "

Kirk raised his head, to find a man half-dragging a young woman who was little more than a teen. She had bruises down one side of her face and half her dressed was ripped. The girl whimpered as the man tightened his grip on her arm.

"They're a debt to be paid and you're the payment so get to it."

The woman in Kirk's arms shifted impatiently, now that he had stopped kissing her. But he wasn't interested in her. He watched as the man dragged the young woman into a storage room.

Kirk released the woman, causing her to glare at him, but he was already starting after the girl. He pushed the door of the room open just as he heard muffled screaming. The man had ripped off half her dress and was kneeling on top of her. He had pinned her arms with his legs and with one hand clamped over his mouth was undoing his trousers. The man was unaware Kirk was in the room. In a low harsh voice he muttered to the woman. "Now you be real quiet and this will be over within a bit."

He had his trousers halfway down and was leaning closer when Kirk grabbed the back of his collar, yanking him off.

He didn't even have time to protest as Kirk slammed him against a wall. The man was momentarily dazed, before he could recover, Kirk laid into him. Kirk only stopped when his hands were covered in the blood and the man was lying half-conscious on the floor. Kirk bent down ad dragged the man up, he slapped him until he was awake enough to hear him. "I should kill you worthless f—ker ." Kirk continued in a low ugly voice. "You to be f—ked, I'll f—k you up so bad you'll wish you were dead."

Kirk dragged the man more upright, so he was staring directly into his half-swollen eyes. "If you ever do something like you did tonight, I'll find you and do whatever you did to that person to you and then I will kill you...slowly."

Kirk let the man fall back and went to the younger woman. She was even younger than she had appeared from a distance and obviously not fully human. She was huddled on the couch and holding her ripped dress around her shoulders. Kirk crouched down in front of her. "It's okay now..." Kirk shifted uncertainly, the girl was avoiding his eyes. He noticed one of her arms had a fine scar that was reminiscent of the one's people had after they had trackers or other devices implanted. One side of her face was badly swollen and she was holding her arm like it was broken. "You need to go to the hospital and have that looked at."

At his words he girl, glanced upward, and he saw by her face that she was obviously intoxicated. . "I'm fine." Kirk, stared at her, he had seen people like her on many different worlds and ships, even in the twenty-third century some vices were still around.

He asked. "Do you have somewhere to go?" . The young woman hesitated and the nodded , once sharply.

Before Kirk could speak again she gathered her clothes around her and muttered. "I'm fine really." Then she left the storage room

Kirk stared after her for a few seconds and then he went back to the hallway to find the woman he had been making out earlier with was gone. But that was okay, now that he thought about it, he wasn't in the mood for that anyway. He wove his way back into the main club. Instinct and prior encounters lead him to a secluded corner. The familiar smell of numerous alien intoxicants wafted towards him, reminding him of years past and oblivion filled days. He stopped motionless in the middle of the club, patrons jostled past him. The smell was strong, he close his eyes and fought with himself to avoid giving in. But the promise of nothingness was greater than the promise he had made to himself never to go back to his old ways.

He followed the sickeningly enticing aroma until he found himself in a back room. Various people human and alien were either sprawled across chairs or the floor in varying states of unconsciousness or engaged in a myriad of acts. One person was sitting on a sofa in the corner of the room with two naked women lying across him. It was a man who appeared to be a mixture of human and another race, he had tattoos scrawled across his body a shaved head , and a bar chest gleaming with sweat. As Kirk neared the man straightened up and pushed the females to the side. "You need something?""

Kirk hesitated, he knew what he was about to do was a bad idea , but he couldn't stop himself. He needed to forget, and his usual outlets weren't working. He nodded and before he could stop himself was pulling credits out his pockets and being handed a assortment of hypos and pills. Kirk felt slightly guilty, he had promised McCoy after the doctor had found him once, never to do it again. But the doctor didn't understand what it was like to be forced to remember every moment, every face...all his memories from Tarsus.

Kirk went into the bathroom and found a secluded stall, he ignored the voices and gasping breaths coming from the stall next to him, instead he dry swallowed the handful of pills he had been given and snapped the tops of the cartridges. Deftly he mixed the liquids together and then he rolled up his sleeve and pressured it in. Almost instantaneously he felt the drugs began to take effect. His heart fluttered and a warm feeling spread across his whole body. His mind grew strangely fuzzy, obscuring the images and voices which had been tormenting him. He knew they were still there if he tried to access them, and they would come back full force as soon as the drugs wore off, but even the hour of peace he was granted was better than nothing.

Kirk stood up swaying slightly at the cocktail of drugs raging through his system, momentarily he wondered whether he had gone too far and would wind up overdosing. Then he decided he didn't care, death was a risk he was willing to take if it meant he could have a few hours of peace.

/O\

Kirk gestured to the bartender for another round of shots as he was finishing off his fourth round already. The woman frowned but didn't argue as she went off to pour the liquor. Kirk gulped the liquor down, wincing as it burned his throat. After taking his cocktail of drugs he had left the vipers nest opting for a more subdued environment, where he could focus on his next goal: getting drunk enough that he passed out. He felt unconsciousness creeping t the edges of his mind, but it wouldn't claim him.

He started on another round of drink and mindlessly half-listened to the news flashing across the Holo screen above the bar

...prices of civilian shuttles are rising. Many market experts attribute the rise to new regulations imposed...In a recent disaster fourteen people were killed while hiking on the Martian colonies, the deaths are related to a combination of environmental anomalies and over-estimation of ability, states a prominent official on the case...and Breaking New: One of the identities of the Tarsus Nine is allegedly known.

Kirk straightened up as the woman continued speaking.

Earlier today at Starfleet academy on Earth San Francisco, California, one of the cadets has claimed to be a member of the infamous group. During a classroom assignment the student in question admitted to being on Tarsus IV and a member of the only survivors from "Kodos Condemned."

The cadet in question is James Tiberius Kirk, son of the Famous George Samuel Kirk who died heroically on the doomed Kelvin trying to thwart a Romulan renegade's attack on the Starfleet vessel.

Cadet Kirk's reputation has people on the fence as to the validity of his statement, While Kirk's father is known in a heroic light, his son has apparently not followed in his father's footsteps. According to fellow cadets he is known for jokes and recklessness as well as extreme aggression. And prior to his entrance in the academy several friends give details of shady past activities. His reputations coupled with his prior behaviors have the academy torn as to the truth of his allegations. A few students at the academy have given us their opinion on his confession.

Kirk stared in disbelief as a familiar face flashed upon the screen and the name Shrilk appeared beneath it. "Yeah, he might have been telling the truth, I mean a few days ago he got this really weird look on his face when we started discussing Tarsus, like he was going to be sick or something, but often again it could all be a joke. With Kirk you never know.

Other cadet's outright disbelieve Kirk, a cadet Trudea offers his view on the situation.

"that man is a ****ing liar, I mean everything is a joke, everything isn't serious and you know what that f*** did to me, attacked me the other day for no reason, right out the blue punches me in the nose nearly breaks a rib.

The camera cut out and another cadet flashed into view.

"Kirk is trying to ham it up for the camera'—typical him. Has to be the godamn centre of attention. He probably made up this story because boo-hoo my dad died the day I was born isn't enough. And the sad thing is somebody's going to believe him.

Meanwhile some cadet's believe he is telling the truth. A female cadet in Kirk's navigation class gives her opinion. "I believe him. I mean if you know Kirk there's something not right about him, like he's acting like it's all not important because it really is to him. He does weird stuff to, like at meals he'll not eat for days, I've never really seen him sleep, and we used to go out. I mean sometimes he was creepy, I'd wake up and he'd just be sitting there watching me but if he fell asleep he'd start twitching and muttering real bad. And he has scars like all over his body, told me he was in some kind of accident as a child then wouldn't say anything else. So yeah, if you know Kirk, something like Tarsus makes sense."

While opinions remain split, the academy is being very tightlipped about the incident and refused to issue a statement. Also a Dr. Leonard McCoy widely known throughout the academy as one of Kirk's closest friends has refused to speak with reporters.

A picture flashed across the screen showing a group of people trying to ask McCoy questions and block his path as the doctor forced his way into Nimitz hall.

While the truth of the confession has not been validated many people are still excited over the prospect of talking to one of the Tarsus nine , a group of individuals of which the identities have been a closely guarded secret by Starfleet. The hope is that if one of the identities is known, finally some of the mysterious surrounding Tarsus can be clarified and put to rest.

So the question remains is this an elaborate joke on Cadet Kirk's part or a real revelation that will finally offer the public the information they want.

This is Natalie Setlar International News, locale San Francisco California, Western Hemisphere, Earth.

Kirk stared blankly at the screen unable to comprehend what he was seeing. He felt even worse if that was possible. The interviews of cadet's ranging from incredulous disbelief, outright hatred, and pitying understanding were too much. The thought of all the people that would want to speak with him now that the truth was known made him feel sick. He stared at the shot glass in front of him , and with shaking hands gulped it down before gesturing for another .

He was trying to settle his breathing which felt like he had been running a marathon, when his heart nearly stopped.

"Hey, you look like the kid there talking about on the news."

Kirk turned to find an older man watching him with a thoughtful expression on his face, a beer grasped in one hand and the smell of liquor wafting heavily off him.

Kirk forced himself to be calm. "A lot of people tell me I look like-like that guy, just my face I guess." He twisted away, and was just in time to grab another drink as the bartender slowly filled a row of shot glasses. Kirk gulped one down followed quickly by a second he was about to swallow a third and instead choked sending a mouthful of liquor spattering across the counter , as the man squinted at him and spoke again.

"No, you look to similar. You're not like him, you are him."

Kirk was about to deny it, but the man was already continuing. "Don't even bother denying it, I knew your father. I know his son. You're George's boy, got almost the same goddamn face, same expression."The man took a sip of his drink and said. " I was a lieutenant in Starfleet before they discharged me, for failure to adapt, name's Daniels."

The shot glass of liquor Kirk was holding remained frozen in his hand, paused halfway to his lips. His mouth was dry as Daniels continued. "I'd ask is what they're saying true, but if it wasn't would you be sitting here trying to drink yourself into oblivion right now?"

There was silence in which Kirk remained frozen and the man took a sip fro his bottle. "I know how hard it is to do something like that son—to tell people what happened. I was one of the lucky, survivors on the Kelvin. Yeah, you survive, but thinking about all the people who didn't that's what gets to you. I can't imagine what Tarsus was like or what you had to do."

"It-it. I d-din't do anything." Kirk managed to say.

Daniels didn't speak for a moment , he just stared at Kirk's pale face. "You must have been really young when it happened. " The man paused and seemed to be calculating the years in his head as he muttered to himself. " The Kelvin was over 22 years ago so you're 22 and some months, thirteen when it all happened. Damn , that's tough."

Kirk finally found the breath to speak, he needed somebody to believe him when he said it. Then maybe he could try to forget it himself and fall back into the lie that he had tried to keep up for most of his life since leaving Tarsus. He need to once again , even if he knew it to be false, have someone else believe it: "I wasn't on Tarsus."

The words sounded false, but Kirk repeated again with more conviction. "I wasn't on Tarsus."

'Son, it's okay for people to know , I—"

"I wasn't , I'm not that guy, it was just a joke."

"Listen kid, your names James, right? I—"

Before the man could speak, Kirk had stood up nearly toppling his stool over. The situation, the use of his first name, the man's familiarity were all too much. "I'm not that guy!" He hadn't meant to yell the words but the whole bar fell silent , as he continued. Kirk didn't notice, because Daniels appeared about to speak again. Before he could talk Kirk spoke, he wasn't even fully aware of what he was saying, but he couldn't see to stop. " I'm not that guy, I wasn't on Tarsus. I didn't kill anybody, I didn't watch people be killed, tortured and r-raped. I didn't have to bury any bodies of people I knew . I wasn't walking through pools of blood. I-I didn't have to kill one of my best friends. I didn't wake up with bodies lying on top of me. I-I- didn't have people die in my arms. It didn't happen!"

The entire bar was silent, it was too quiet, every eye was on him. Kirk slowly stared around. There was silence for nearly a minute and then as the impact of what he had said hit him, somebody quietly said. "You're him from the news, a um—jake, Jacob, anyway George Kirk's kid , one of those Tarsus 9s."

"Yeah, he's that guy."

Slowly others began echoing the same thing; Kirk stared around in horror, the full weight of what he had just confessed earlier and now was obvious to him. "It's okay kid." Kirk shuddered as he felt a hand on his shoulder he flinched, instinctively he twisted around simultaneously grabbing an arm and twisting it. He felt a sharp cry of pain and increased his grip until the hand fell away, he finally let go as he heard a crack. He turned to find Daniels from the bar staring at him, with something close to horror and pity as he clutched an obviously broken arm to his chest.

Kirk stumbled back. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry " he repeated the words as he backed out the door away from the lingering eyes ." I'm sorry" he repeated as he stepped out. The door to the building swung shot behind him blocking out the accusatory silence, Kirk took a deep breath and stared into the sky , trying not to think. A flood of memories was threatening to break forth and he was desperately trying to hold them back. He crossed the parking lot switched on his borrowed/stolen motorcycle and took off into the night.

He just needed to get away and didn't care where he was going

Yes, I'm within my update schedule! (next Update will beSept, 30 (with a three day margin either way) Thanks to all those who followed , favourited and reviewed. Also thanks to my guest reviewer for the anonymous feedback;) Questions for this chapter: Did it move the story forward, or did you think of it more as filler? What direction do you see the story going in? Next few chaps are being edited now so more is on the way... and feedback is always welcome;)