The Ferrari purred like a kitten as Taker drove it. He was sure he was driving at unprecedented speeds. He didn't care if there was an officer in sight. He would have left them in the dust.
"This is by far the best car I've ever driven!" said Taker, driving up the desert.
"I agree!" said Kane. "We've got to be going over 160 mph!"
After a while, Taker and Kane became hungry. They stopped at this place called El Pollo Loco where they ordered a box of fried chicken with sides. They ate ravenously like a bunch of wild cavement. Pretty soon, the box looked like an archaelogical dig with all the bones they left.
"Man, that hit the spot," said Kane. "I'm ready to go to bed."
"Food drunk, huh?" said Taker. "No problem, there's a motel five minutes away."
They were getting up to go to the Ferrari when they heard someone cry their name. They seemed to be in despair. Both men turned around to see a girl running toward them.
The girl was a Latina bespectacled girl who appeared to be in her late 20s. She was pretty with brown and blonde hair and a petite figure. She was in anguish.
"Taker! Kane!" she cried breathlessly. "You've got to help me!"
"What's the problem, ma'am?" Taker asked.
"Someone stole my car!" said the girl. "My purse was in there! And my ticket to Summerslam. I have no money, no ID, no car! Oh my God, I don't know what to do!"
The girl began to cry on Taker's stomach (Taker was so tall she couldn't even reach his shoulder) Taker hugged her consolingly.
"Hey," said Taker, gently. "Tell me your name, Miss."
"Christina," said the girl.
"Well, Christina, you're in luck," said Taker. "It just so happens that Kane and myself are on our way to Summerslam. We'll pay for anything you need. Board and food. We'll take you with us."
Christina looked up at Taker as if she could hardly believe it.
"Really?" she said.
"Absolutely," said Taker, "dry those tears, you're going to be okay."
"I've always heard great things about you, Taker," she said, looking at Taker, admirably, wiping away her tears, "but I had no idea that you were this great."
She hugged Taker around the middle.
"Ah, it's nothing, honey," said Taker. "Tell you what, here's some money, get you some food."
"Thanks alot, guys," said Christina, "you're the best!"
As Christina walked into El Loco Pollo, Kane looked at Taker and said, "Are- you - insane?! Why are you bringing a fan with us on our comeback trip? What if she tells someone?"
"With what?" asked Taker. "She has no phone. And she's just been robbed, have a heart, Glen, aren't we as humans supposed to help those in need?"
Well, I guess you're right," said Kane. "Hey, you think she has a boyfriend? She's cute."
"What makes you think she'd go for you?" Taker asked.
"Well, I'm tall, rich, and I enjoy nightly romantic strolls," said Kane
"Getting up to go to the refrigerator at midnight doesn't count as a romantic nightly stroll," said Taker dismissively, "besides, she's into me. Who was it that she hugged? And I'm tall, rich and handsome."
Kane snorted.
"Don't we have a high opinion of ourselves?" said Kane. "The girl is mine."
"What're we Michael and Paul now?" Taker said, sneering. "In your dreams, Uncle Fester."
"In your dreams, you overgrown Opie Taylor!" said Kane. "You always take the good looking girls away from me, not this time!"
The two men were still arguing when Christina came out of El Pollo Loco, with her food.
"Thanks again, Taker," she said. "I heard you guys arguing, hope everything is okay."
"Oh, that was nothing," said Kane, "I was just telling Mark here the best way to get rid of his toe fungus."
"Oh, don't mind him Christina, Kane likes to kid around alot," said Taker, laughing, "by the Glen, you should call the pharmacy tomorrow to see if they have your antibiotics ready. You know? For the gonorrhea?"
"You son of a-" Kane started angrily, but Taker laughed and said "I'm just joking, the argument was nothing Christina, just boys being boys."
"Glad to hear it," said Christina, smiling. She had a beautiful smile.
"We're getting ready to go to a motel," said Taker, "We'll drive you there."
"Thanks!" said Christina, "oh my God, you guys have a Ferrari? I've always wanted to ride in one of these!"
Kane went to get in the front, but Taker cut him off."
"What're you doing?" Kane demanded.
"Ladies first," said Taker, "you know that."
Kane got in the back, looking disgruntled, but nonetheless, he got into the back.
"So, Christina," said Taker as they drove up the road, "are you from around here?"
"Oh no," said Christina, "I'm from the Bronx."
"The Bronx?" Taker repeated. "Yankees fan?"
"Oh yes," said Christina enthusiastically. "I attend games regularly when I'm not in school."
"Do you think they're going to win the World Series this year? Taker asked.
"Definitely," said Christina, "We've got C.C. Sabathia, A.J. Burnett and Mark Texeira this year. The pitching staff has been solid as well as the hitting. I say we're getting our 27th World Series win!"
"That's where I beg to differ," said Taker. "The Texas Rangers have been playing well this year. We may take it."
"The Texas Rangers are trash!" said Christina. "There's no way they can hold a candle to the Yankees!"
Kane laughed out loud.
"All Texas sports teams are trash," he said. "They're been hitting a sports drought."
"At least Texas sports teams have a few championships under out belts," said Taker. "When has a sports team from Tennesse won any championships?"
Kane looked at Taker as if he'd just swallowed a sour ball.
"What's that, cat caught your tongue?" Taker asked. "Thought so."
"Do you guys always argue like this?" Christina asked.
"Yeah, but it's usually nothing serious," said Kane. "It's little two siblings arguing."
"Oh, that's good." said Christina. "I know you guys are good friends, I would hate to see you guys get into a serious argument."
They pulled up into a motel. Taker gave Christina a couple of hundred bucks to check into her own room while him and Kane checked into their room.
"What do you think about Christina so far?" asked Taker.
"I love her personality," said Kane.
"Yeah, me too," said Taker, "it's gonna be fun having a chick with us."
"Just don't try to get in bed with her," said Kane.
"Glen!" said Taker. "Do you think I would sleep with someone I just met?"
"Yeah," said Kane, "you do it all of the time!"
Taker chuckled.
"Not this time," he said. "Neither one of us. Let's just have her be the third wheel. We might need her to bail us out. You know how wild we get."
"True," said Kane. "I sure hope she can hang with us."
"We'll see in time, bro," said Taker. "Until then, let's get our forty winks."
Christina, as it turned out, was just as wild and fun as they were. The three of them brought packs of Pop Rocks and large bottles of Coke and consumed them to see who would burp the loudest. Kane thought he'd won, until Christina let out a sonorous burp that could have easily broken the sound barrier, impressing Taker and Kane immensely.
Next, they snuck in a cattle ranch to brand some cows. Christina was the quickest one to brand her cow and run out. The same couldn't be said for Taker. He got kicked right in the family jewels by a cow, lifting him about ten feet in the air.
"Oh God," moaned Taker in a high pitched tone as he applied as ice pack to the area. "I think my nuts are broken."
Kane, who was driving the Ferrari, was snickering along with Christina.
By dusk they had departed Texas and entered New Mexico. They checked into a hotel, but did not go to their rooms. They decided to get some drinks in the lounge.
"Hey, looks like it's karaoke night here!" said Christina excited. The three of them sat down and listened to a woman who was singing Total Eclipse of the Heart.
"God, she's awful," said Kane in an undertone. "She is totally butchering a classic. She sounds like a giraffe in heat."
Christina and Taker burst out laughing.
"These drinks all look awesome," said Christina looking through the list of drinks they had to offer, "I think I'll have an Absolut Pineapple Rose Mary."
"I'll have the Adios, Mother Fucker," said Kane
"I think I'll have a few shots of Jack," said Taker.
"You're so one dimensional, Mark," said Kane, "try a variety for once,"
"I don't need variety," said Taker irritably.
"Aww, Taker," said Christina, "Kane is right, come on, try something different. You might like it."
She batted her long eyelashes at him. Being a sucker for long eyelashes, Taker relented and said, "Alright, let's see. I'll take the Fishbowl Punch."
"Jeez, it only takes batting eyelashes to get you to try something different?" said Kane, "Maybe I should do that next time. Thanks Christina."
"No problem, Kane," said Christina, giggling.
The song was over, to Kane's relief. Everyone clapped kindly as she stepped down. A rotund blond haired man got on the mic next. He began to sing, "I Want To Know What Love Is". He had a decent sounding voice.
Taker, Kane and Christina's drinks came. Taker took a look at his drink and said, "Holy cirrhosis! this drink is big enough to put out Paul Bunyan!"
"You'll like it though," said Kane.
"I hope so," said Taker, taking a sip.
"Hey!" he exclaimed. "This is some good shit!"
"There's shit that's actually good?" asked Kane.
"Shut the hell up, Glen," said Taker, taking longer sips of his drink.
It didn't take long for the three to become sauced. They told rude jokes and made fun of some people in the audience.
"You know what?" said Christina after a while. "I'm going to get up there and sing."
"Go for it, girl," said Taker.
"Yeah, Christina, make us proud," said Kane.
The two started chanting Christina until she got up and walked on the stage.
The crowd briefly fell silent as Christina got up on the stage. Lisa Lisa's Head to Toe began to play. Christina danced to the beat while the crowd clapped to it.
When she began to sing the lyrics, so did everybody else. Taker and Kane looked on, awestruck at Christina's voice. She had the voice of a baby canary.
When the song ended, everyone was on their feet, clapping heartily. Take and Kane the loudest of them all.
"You got a set of vocal cords on you, girl," said Kane.
"Yeah, you can blow," said Taker.
"Thanks guys," said Christina, smiling. "Now you guys."
"What?" said Taker and Kane at the same time.
"Us? Sing?" said Taker, "no way."
"Aww, you guys can wrestle in front of thousands every night, but not in a bar of 30 people for a few minutes?" asked Christina. "It should be a piece of cake."
"Nah," said Kane. "We'd run everyone out the bar."
Christina made a sound like a chicken clucking.
"You calling us Chicken?" Taker asked, his eyebrows raised.
The clucking sound from Christina became louder.
"C'mon guys, grow a set," she said, smirking.
"Grow a set!" said Taker, outraged, "I'll show you a set! Let's go, Glen."
The two got on stage. The music began to play. It was REO Speedwagon. Taker looked at Kane and said, "Let's get this over with."
Kane grabbed the microphone and began to sing.
"You should've seen by the look in my eyes, baby, there was something missin."
Taker chimed in.
"You should've heard by the tone in my voice, maybe, but you didn't listen."
"You played dead," sang Kane.
"But you never bled," sang Taker.
The two sang the lines individually. When they reached the chorus, the two sang together.
"And I'm gonna keep on lovin' you! Cause it's the only thing I wanna do. I don't wanna sleep. I just wanna keep on lovin' you!"
When they were finished singing, the c rowd clapped and cheered. Christina hugged them both as they made their way back to their seats.
"You guys were great," said Christina.
"Thanks," said Taker. "What do you say? We got upstairs?"
"Sure," said Christina, "I'm getting a little tired."
The three paid their tab and headed upstairs to their rooms.