Seriously Lost in Time!
"Hmm there's got to be someway we can make the door re-appear," murmered Swackhammer, as he stood in the middle of the empty coliseum with the three tunes watching him.
"Aww boy! I'm tired can we go to bed!" moaned Foghorn.
"Well...unfortunately for you guys there are no beds, you'll just have to sleep on the floor...unless any of you want to sleep with me in my double bed?"
The tunes' eyes widened. "You know what Swacky? Thanks but no thanks," replied Daffy hastily.
Swackhammer shrugged. "Humph, suit yourself." He carried on observing the middle of the coliseum.
Daffy rolled his eyes. "Hey did you ever think that there could be another place where one these doors appear?"
"Well did you ever think where this other place could be?" replied Swackhammer sharply.
"Err...no."
"Exactly!" the alien snapped.
---------------
Bugs landed with a great thud on some hard stone floor face first. He laid there for a few moments to get his breath back and then all of a sudden felt another body land heavily on top of him.
"Ow, who is that?" he puffed.
"Wile E Coyote, who else?"
"Doc get off me would ya...you're heavy?"
They both got up. "Where are the others and especially Lola?"
"Well...Lola's still in that robot's arms and the others...I don't know," replied the coyote.
Bugs sighed. "Great."
"Hey! Don't you think it's so cool that whatever we do, us two always end up together," beamed Wile.
The bunny raised an eyebrow. "I know, it's thrilling."
Before Wile could reply a booming voice interrupted. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!"
The voice had come from an Ancient Egyptian guy. He was a black dog with a very pointy nose and ears and huge muscles. He was dressed in a silky, gold loyne cloth, but with no torso to show off his buff chest. He wore a funny hat and had a huge great spear in his hand.
"State your names and what you are going to do to entertain the great Pharaoh," he grunted.
The Pharaoh was sitting in a huge throne. He was a brown dog and very skinny, probably the weediest man in the room. "Come on, come on if you don't hurry up, I'll get bored meaning I'll have to chop your heads off," he said.
Wile and Bugs looked at each other in panic. "Doc, how on earth did we end up here? This is Ancient Egypt!" whispered the bunny.
"This is probably just a dream, that tornado probably makes us go to sleep and have nightmares," replied Wile casually.
"Well...is Winnie in your nightmares?" asked Bugs.
"No! Of course not!"
"Well why is she just there?" said Bugs, as he pointed to a dark corner of the room.
Wile looked at the corner and to his surprise, there was Winnie. She was looking down at the floor and she was in horrible, dirty rags with cuts and wounds all over her. The Pharaoh sighed and interrupted. "Hey excuse me! Is all this muttering of yours a little show that you do, coz if so, no offence, but its crap!"
Bugs and Wile looked at each other and then looked a back at the Pharaoh. "Oh...no, it's our planning we're doing for the fantastic show we're about to show you any minute now."
Wile pulled a confused look. "It is?"
Bugs nudged Wile hard in the ribs. "Ow! Right yeah it is," he said and pulled a very cheesy grin at the Pharaoh.
The dog in the throne raised an eyebrow. "Well...are you done with your planning?"
The two tunes hesitated. "Err...not quite yet...one more minute," pleaded Bugs.
The Pharaoh rolled his eyes. "Please hurry up though or you'll be headless before you know it!"
Bugs drew Wile in closer. "Doc! What are we going to do!?" he said quietly.
The coyote shrugged. "Don't ask me, I assumed you knew what we were going to do!"
Bugs sighed. "Ok, ok...think...I've got it! The Egyptians are sex crazy right?"
"I dunno, I thought that was the Romans," replied the coyote.
"Well...Egyptians is close enough...think of a song that's really sexy."
"Errm, something by Alvin and the Chipmunks!"
"What! They're anything but sexy!"
"Ok, ok how about...Marvin Gaye, Sexual Healing!"
"Ok, I'll do the backing vocals and you do the main singing!" instructed Bugs.
Wile nodded and they both turned to face the Pharaoh. "We're ready."
"Good! Now this better be worth it!" the Pharaoh said.
The tunes cleared their throats and Bugs started the song with soft whispering.
"Get up, get up, get up, get up...wake up, wake up wake up wake up."
Wile came in with some awful singing. "Oh baby, now let's get down tonight."
The guards in the room looked at each other with raised eyebrows. Winnie watched the two in great amusement, but managed to keep her laughing inside herself.
"Bom, bom, bom , bom."
"Ooooo...Baaaby I'm hot just like you love me I need to love n'...and...baaaaby I can't hold it much longer, it's getting stronger and stronger...and when I get that feeling I want sexual heeling, oh, sexual...healing...makes me feel so fine, helps to relieve the mind-
"ENOUGH!" yelled the Pharaoh at the top of his voice. Wile and Bugs stopped their singing and looked down in slight embarrassing. "That was the worst piece of music I've ever heard! Guards off with their heads!"
The guards pulled out their swords and spears and circled in on Bugs and Wile. "I'll have the wolf's head!" a guard scowled.
"Hey dude, that's co-yo-te, not a wolf, two completely different animals," said Wile, trying to sound polite, however it just made the guard even angrier.
The two tunes were now back to back stuck in the centre of the circle of blood-thirsty Egyptian dogs. "Err, Bugsy you've got any ideas?" asked Wile hastily.
"Errm..." Bugs looked about the place frantically and saw a few things on the floor. Keeping eye contact with the guards, he slowly bent down and grabbed the first thing he could and quickly held it up in front of them as a weapon of self defence. To his and everybody else's surprise, the item he had picked up was a frying pan.
The guards hesitated and looked at Bugs. "Err...I've got a frying pan and I ain't afraid to use it!" he bellowed.
"Good God he's got the frying pan...clear the area!" yelled a guard.
All of the guards screamed like school girls and hid behind tables and pillars. The bunny lowered his frying pan. "That was the dumbest plan I have ever thought in my life and yet it worked."
The Pharaoh shot up out of his seat. "What are you doing you cowards! GET THEM!" he demanded.
"Bugs! Wile!" shouted Winnie, as she opened a door, which was disguised as part of the wall. "Quick! You'll be able to escape through here."
Bugs and Wile pegged it to the door and the Pharaoh was angrier than ever. "GUARDS! What are you waiting for? GET THEM!"
The guards finally got themselves up and slowly approached the door. The Pharaoh turned to Winnie. "You're going to wish that you never did that!" he spat, as he approached the coyote girl with his sword out. Just before he was about to strike a brown furry arm wrapped round her waist and yanked her away in the nick of time.
The coyote girl went flying round the other side the door to find that the arm which had grabbed her was Wile's.
"Wile...hey," she said softly.
They stared into each other's eyes. "Hey," he replied. They leaned in a little closer to kiss, but Bugs interrupted.
"Err guys; I don't want to ruin the romantic atmosphere or anything but..." He pointed at the guards who came bursting through the door.
"RUN!" yelled Wile.
The three of them turned on their heels and ran for their lives down a narrow, gloomy corridor. The guards were close behind them and catching up quickly. Wile who was in front of the three saw a fork ahead. "Guys! Which way, left or right?"
"I say...left," replied Bugs. Wile took a sharp turn to the left, Bugs and Winnie followed, but the guards didn't, they instead screeched to a halt.
"Haha! The fools...they're heading towards the Dungeon of Death!"
"No-one escapes alive from there," a guard replied.
------------------
Sylvester had landed on a bed, whilst Porky and Elmer had landed on a dirty, damp floor. The door had already disappeared and the three of them didn't like the look of their surroundings. "Errm guys, where exactly are we?" asked Sylvester. The environment was cold and dark. Surrounding them were people in hospital beds with the sheets completely covering their body. The room was absolutely silent.
"I dunno, it looks like some kind of...very poor hospital," replied Elmer.
"Geez h-h-how many patients are there!?" exclaimed Porky.
"A lot by the looks of it," replied Elmer.
"Wait a minute. If the sheet is covering their faces, doesn't that mean their dead?" inquired Sylvester.
"Or as-s-s-sleep," added Porky.
"Do you wanna check?" the cat asked.
"Eww...awe you suwe that's a good idea?" said Elmer.
"Well...I don't see any harm in it." Sylvester walked up to one of the beds and slowly his hand approached the sheet. Porky and Elmer were behind leaning in over his shoulders. He grabbed hold of the sheet and quickly pulled it off the face.
"Argh!" screeched the tunes.
Under the sheet was a man with a mouldy face covered in puss and huge boils. "You know what...I think he's dead," commented Elmer.
"Oh, you don't say," replied Sylvester sarcastically.
Porky had turned bright green and suddenly puked all over the floor. "Eww, Porky learn to hold it in would ya?" moaned Sylvester.
"I c-c-c-cou-didn't manage," replied Porky.
Elmer had found a scrap of newspaper on the floor; he brushed it down and began to read:
The Black Death hits London once again!
He then looked up at the date, which read:
5th April 1665
"Oh dear," said Elmer. He had just figured out where the tornado had taken them.
End of Chapter 7
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Author's Note: I know that was quite a wacky chapter with Wile and Bugs singing Marvin Gaye and all, however believe it or not a lot of the things that are put in this story our things I have dreamt about! And one night I dreamt I was singing Marvin Gaye in front of a Pharaoh, his guards started to chase me, so I battled them off with a frying pan that appeared from no-where!
(sighs) the wonderful wacky-ness of dreams (yes I know I'm weird, get over it!)