A/N:

Well... It's been something like 5 months, almost 6 since I updated this. I'm very, very sorry for that, but I did have my reasons. I was finding that Alcide was becoming a character that was hard for me to redeem, even in my head, so my brain took a nice, long break. Hopefully I can get back with this one, especially since it's not got much left to go.

I did want to get this up now, so it is unbeta'd. Please forgive my mistakes.

RECAP: Sookie and Alcide meet in a grocery store and go on a date that night. That date turns into many more, and about three months into their relationship Sookie's house catches fire. She goes to stay with Alcide, and meets his family, but also his nasty ex, Debbie. Debbie wins Alcide at an auction for charity, and when he goes out with her, they kiss in his truck. Alcide is honest with Sookie about it, and she leaves. When they see each other again the next day Sookie tells him that they're just on a break until he can figure his shit out. And that's where we left off.

Chapter 7 - Fix You

Janice took me back to my car a while after Alcide left, and I drove home feeling worse than I had in a while. I hated seeing him look so messed up, and all I wanted was to hug him and tell him that we could work through it, but it just wasn't that easy.

Workers finally started on my kitchen and porch the next day, and I kept wondering if Alcide would show up to supervise, but he never did while I was there. I would go to the house when I wasn't working to get more of my clothes to take to wash, and to make sure things were going smoothly.

Aiden came at the end of the week, and somehow he found out from the crew about the arson and confronted me about it.

"Does Alcide know?" he asked.

"No. I was planning on telling him, but I was already freaking out about meeting everyone and I didn't want him worrying about it."

"Sookie, he needs to know. I love you, but you can't keep this from him. What if someone is out to get you?"

"Oh come on, this isn't an action flick. I don't have enemies. It was probably some delinquents screwing around," I said.

"Your boyfriend has an ex that is obsessed with him, and more than a little crazy. I would not put it past Debbie to have done this," he said quietly, but firmly.

"Debbie and I hadn't even met at that point. How would she have known where I live? Or even that Alcide and I were serious. We only ran into her once, on our first date, and I didn't even see her."

"She's more than capable of pulling something like this off. You guys went to Shreveport a lot on dates, she could have seen you without you knowing. And finding out who you are and where you live isn't exactly hard in this day and age."

"Well what am I supposed to do? They've already written it off as a random act of arson, and there's no way they'll go for that claim, especially when I can hardly believe it."

Aiden sighed, and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Just … take care of yourself, okay? And tell Alcide, I mean it."

A week later I still hadn't talked to Alcide, and I was beginning to wonder if he'd ever manage to work out his issues with Debbie. After our last talk I went from feeling depressed and sorry for myself to being angry. I was angry at him, at myself, at the whole situation, and slowly, that anger was turning into a sort of prideful, pissed off attitude. I began to wonder why he would bother with a woman like that. I was prettier, I actually had the body of a woman rather than a stick. If I wasn't careful, I knew my anger would turn into a night out with some friends where my goal would be to prove that I was still attractive. I couldn't let that happen. We weren't really technically broken up.

That didn't last long.

I was in my house, going through my recipe box so I could head to Janice's the next day for a baking marathon when I heard the roar of a truck engine, followed by a sudden stop on my gravel, and then a slamming door. Bill was in the kitchen helping Terry install the new cabinets, and he came into the hall the same time I did.

"Who the fuck is that?" he asked.

"I don't know," I said, and walked out onto the porch. I was met with a very pissed off looking Alcide, who had just come up the steps.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked angrily.

"I didn't want you to worry," I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

"You should have told me!"

"Yeah, well, you should have told me some things too," I huffed, and started to walk back into the house. He grabbed my arm and spun me around roughly, so I pushed him in the chest hard. Bill came out of the house and took a step in front of me protectively.

"Bill, it's fine," I said, but I was obviously shaken. Alcide had never handled me like that before.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Alcide seethed, gesturing at Bill.

"He's helping with the damage from the fire. Are you drunk?" I asked, finally taking in his appearance. He almost had a full beard, and his clothing was unkempt. There was something about his stance too, like he was off balance. It scared me that he had driven here. He ignored my question.

"You mean the fire that he probably started?"

"Excuse me?" Bill said, taking a step forward.

"You're the one that pulled her out. Maybe you started it just so you could be her hero."

Bill started to retaliate, but I shoved him aside so I could do it for him.

"Don't you even go there, Alcide!" I yelled, backing him down the stairs and into the yard. "You know damn well that there is nothing going on between Bill and me, and your jealousy shit needs to stop right now. He is my friend, and he never would have set my house on fire. If anyone has the right to be accusing exes, it's me. Aiden told me about her being crazy, and it's starting to make more and more sense. And you know what, if you ever manage figure out your issues, don't come back to me, because I'm done."

I surprised myself when I said it, and Alcide looked shocked.

"You don't mean that," he said.

"I do mean that. I can't do it. I can't wait around for you to realize that we were perfect for each other. I won't. I'm better than that, and I don't deserve this treatment. Now get the hell off my property," I said firmly, and then turned around and went to my bedroom so I could cry without an audience.

I waited to let it loose until I heard his truck pull away, and then the dam broke. Bill came in after a minute or two with a box of tissues and sat next to me.

"Has he ever been rough with you like that before?" he asked tentatively.

"No," I said, shaking my head. "He's always been sweet."

"You don't have to protect him, Sookie."

"I'm not! There's no excuse for what he did, but he was drunk, and he's probably stressed beyond belief …" she lowered her voice to a whisper before continuing, "and I still love him. I love him, and I can't stand to see him like that. I swear that he was never like that. Ever."

"Okay," was all he said.

~o0o~

After leaving Sookie's house I pulled onto a gravel road to calm down. I couldn't believe that she had just officially ended things. Even more, I couldn't believe I had been rough with her. I'd never laid my hands on a woman like that before, not even Debbie, and we'd had some very awful fights. I picked up my cell phone and called her, because she was the one person who could help me figure shit out, like it or not.

"Hello there," she answered.

"We need to talk, Debbie."

"I'm free right now, why don't you come on over?"

"I'll be there in a half hour," I said, and hung up.

God help me.

Debbie answered the door in a towel, and I'm not sure why I expected her to actually behave decently.

"Go put some clothes on please," I said as I walked past her and sat on her couch.

She huffed and stomped off to her room, then came back out five minutes later in designer jeans and a tank top and sat down next to me.

"Why the visit?" she asked.

"Is your sister here?"

"She's out with a friend at the moment."

"We need to have a talk. I went to see Sookie today when I found out that the fire at her house was arson."

"Someone tried to kill the cow?"

I stood up quickly and yelled, "You keep your mouth shut about her, Debbie!"

She held up her hands in mock surrender.

"This isn't about the fire," I continued as I started pacing. "I've been drunk for the past two weeks. I'm on the verge of being fired by my own father. I handled Sookie today. With as pissed off as you've made me in the past, I never laid a hand on you. I need to fix myself, and that starts with you."

"Just how is any of that my fault?"

"Because everything was perfect until that fucking benefit. I keep going back to you, Debbie. I loathe you, but I keep going back, and it's ruined the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"I'm going to ignore the fact that you just told a girl you "loathed" her, and again ask why you coming back to me is supposed to be my fault."

"Because I don't even think of you until you come around. I think about Sookie all the damn time, and it's so hard to even think about going back to her because of this mess. And that's what I don't get. There's so much mess between me and you, but I never had a second thought before falling back into bed with you."

"I don't know what you want me to tell you, Alcide."

"Tell me why. I don't love you. I never have. Despite what you think, you don't love me either. So why? Why does this keep happening?"

"Because I need you! I need you to keep me together. You're the only thing that calms me down, that mellows me out. I need you, Alcide."

"But I don't need you," I said, then smiled. "I don't need you, and I don't have to let you have me. Whatever there was between us, it's done. I'm done. Don't call me, don't email me, don't stalk me, don't even think about me. To me, you don't exist."

To my surprise, the look of complete horror on her face did nothing to me. I just didn't care. She did it to herself, and it wasn't my problem.

I left her apartment with her screaming at me, but I found that I just didn't care. It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, the weight of the world. I had more important things to worry about.