Yes, my readers, chapter 7 is already out! Surprised? I am. I didn't think I would have it ready this soon but here I am! I think you guys will really like this chapter; you finally get answers into Kagome's past. It's so much fun to write about these characters! I love developing their stories. Next chapter, I plan on going into Inuyasha's past even more, though I know his is more clear than Kagome's. Enjoy, read, and review!
Disclaimer: Sigh . . . Do I really need to say it again?
I was beginning to wonder if I was ever going to get a full night's rest while living at the High Temple. First, it was my attraction to Kagome that kept me awake. Second, it was my burning jealousy of Koga that did it. Now, it was the frightening desire to ravish the miko's lips with mine once again. It was sad. It was so, so sad. I hadn't expected Kagome to feel that good. The kiss had made me feel whole but had shattered me. It made me feel dangerous but safe. It made me feel on the edge of sanity but perfectly in control of my actions all at once.
As we were eating breakfast that morning, it was silent except for the steady rain pounding on the roof. Kagome and I had barely said two words to each other, aside from our usual morning greetings. I had no idea what was going on inside her head. Did she regret the kiss? Was she going to act like it never happened? That didn't seem like a very Kagome-like thing to do, though. However, her silence was causing my stomach to churn. I had barely eaten two bites of my rice and vegetables and that was saying something. I was known for having a huge appetite.
I sighed in resignation; just one more goddamn thing we needed to talk about.
"So, Priestess," Koga broke the silence, "what is on the agenda for today?"
"Not much, actually," Kagome replied, setting her bowl and chopsticks to the side gently. "The village is quiet today, and there have been no reports brought to me of anyone needing my help. So, today, I order you both to relax and do whatever you want!"
Koga smiled. "That's very kind of you, Priestess. I have been wanting to stretch my legs for a while. Maybe I'll venture into the forest today. I'm sure dog-shit can watch over you by himself for a day." Koga smirked at the dig.
I growled at him warningly, my foot beginning to tap against the floor in annoyance. Despite his comments, I couldn't help but feel elated at the thought of Kagome and I being alone today.
"You best remember I was watching her just fine on my own, flea-bag," I shot back. Before I rattled off anymore insults, though, I remembered what I needed to speak with Koga about as soon as possible. I lowered my voice to whisper, "There is something I need to speak with you about. Now."
"What, here?" Koga inquired as Kagome flicked her eyes between us in question.
"No, not here." I gave a knowing look to the others in the room with us. "Priestess, is there somewhere we can speak alone?"
"The library should be open," said miko informed.
"Great, let's go there now." I stood up quickly and marched out of the dining hall, leaving no room for argument. Koga and Kagome had to scramble to catch up with me. Koga did so more gracefully than a stumbling Kagome.
In the library, there was no one in there but us and the dust. I picked up no sound of anyone in the area, so no one was eavesdropping or following us. It was perfect.
"I started searching around the temple yesterday," I started explaining. Koga was watching me with a furrowed brow, taking in every word. Kagome's expression was similar but more confused. "Didn't find much. I only got to search one room-"
"Which one?" Kagome asked.
"The one where you go to be cleansed," I told her honestly.
"The Purification Room?" Her voice was filled with surprise, her eyes wide in wonder. "Why that one?"
"I wanted to start there because you go in there with the High Priest every day, and I never hear of him going anywhere else in this Temple. To me, it made sense to start searching there."
Kagome clearly wasn't happy about me sniffing around in that room, and I had no idea why, but she stayed silent in allowance for me to continue.
"Anyway, I didn't really find much," I admitted. "Except I found these scrolls hidden under some floorboards. They had ancient writing on them, I didn't even recognize the kanji, but the papers were relatively new. That was some suspicious shit to me."
"What did the kanji look like?" Koga asked.
"I can show you." I went over to a table and got out a pen and a piece of paper. I sketched out a few characters I managed to memorize while Koga and Kagome looked over my shoulders.
"What the hell is that?" Koga exclaimed in confusion. "I've never seen shit like that!"
"Exactly what I said!" I agreed.
"I know this," Kagome whispered, her voice distant.
Koga and I both turned our heads to look at her. Her body was stiff and her breathing was too evenly paced for it to be normal. It was almost as if she was in shock, in a way.
"I mean, I don't know what it says," she clarified. "But I've seen this writing before. When I was younger, I learned about the history of priestess and monks. In the Nara period, government officials tried to control miko practices, so they developed their own version of kanji so they could communicate their plans in secret. This . . . hasn't been known to be used for years. It's curious as to why it is popping up now."
Koga and I exchanged looks at this. The shit that went on around here just kept getting weirder. I was curious as to how Kagome had survived this long at a temple that was filled with so many secrets. Did she just have dumb luck . . . or was someone keeping her alive and safe for a reason? And if someone had been watching over her the whole time, then why was I here? My list of questions continued to grow.
I felt a hand rest on the inside of my arm, drawing my attention. It was Kagome.
"Thank you for telling us, Inuyasha."
I read her real intention loud and clear: she was thanking me for including her. She knew I had to tell Koga, anyway.
"We'll figure out what the hell is going on," Koga cut-in. "I'll write the letter this time, Inuyasha, as soon as I get back tonight. It's about time I pulled some weight around her." He winked at Kagome teasingly and she giggled in return.
I was impressed I didn't lose my shit right then and there but there were pressing matters at hand. "No, don't write to our Master yet."
Koga's brow creased in confusion. "Why not . . .?"
"I just . . . I have a feeling, is all. I feel that we should gather more information before we trouble him unnecessarily."
Koga nodded in agreement. "You're right. We'll check things out more, then we'll write to him when the time is right." The wolf demon stretched lazily and began to walk towards the door. "Well, I'm off to stretch my legs. Call me if you need anything. See ya." He gave a farewell wave and slipped out the library door.
That left Kagome and I in the library. Alone.
Well, that's not awkward.
"Well," I said awkwardly, "I'm gonna go-"
"I want you to spend the day with me," Kagome interrupted before I could rattle off some lame-ass excuse to get away.
"Uh . . ." I blinked slowly out of confusion. "But I always spend the day with you."
"No, I mean," she let out of a frustrated sigh, "I want us to spend the day together, alone, without having any responsibilities to worry about."
I stared at her for a moment, processing what she was saying to me.
"Why?"
Apparently, my best reply to the woman that I was falling for inviting me to be alone with her was, "Why?"
Fuck, I was so juvenile again.
A light blush spread across Kagome's cheeks. "I just want to be alone with you for a while, since I don't have any business to attend to today. We haven't been able to relax in a long time."
She had a point; we had been busy every day for the past two months. Kagome was getting summoned to this village or that village, and that didn't include the village the High Temple resided in, nor the duties she had here.
Kagome was avoiding looking at me. She was preoccupying herself by fidgeting with the sleeves of her kimono, pulling at the threads one by one, the light blush still apparent on her cheeks.
I smirked at her nervousness; it filled my ego that she was nervous of my refusal. It gave me hope that maybe, just maybe, she really did want me back, and what I saw last night wasn't an illusion.
"Keh," I scoffed to cover up my joy. "Whatever you want to do, Kagome, we can do it."
Realization of what I said dawned on her face after a moment, causing a large grin to spread across her face. I folded my hands into my sleeves nervously.
A giggle erupted from the miko beside me. The only warning I had was, "Come on, then!" before I was being dragged by my arm out of the library and up the stairs. I noticed the direction she was taking me and I frowned, but still offered no resistance to her tugging.
"Ka-Priestess," I caught myself as I saw two priests rounding the corner, "are you sure about this . . .?"
Kagome offered me no reply as we stood in front of the door to her room. The young woman gave me a mischievous smirk before diving inside her room before anyone could see. I stepped inside as well, if only to keep from being noticed.
Definitely not because the thought of being alone in Kagome's room with her excited me.
"Kagome, is this allowed? Is there some rule against this?" I asked nervously. Now that I was here, I didn't want to leave, but I had to know so she wouldn't get in trouble if we were found.
"There's no rule that says I can't be alone with a man," she answered as she slid the door closed. "Just that I can't be intimate with one. Are we being intimate?"
"Not yet," I blurted out. Maybe that wasn't the smoothest response . . .
Kagome laughed as she slid the door closed and sat down on her futon.
There wasn't much to her room. She had multiple pillows surrounding her spacious futon that sat in the middle of the room. I suppose she was given the luxury of a large sleeping area when she wasn't allowed to have much else to decorate her room. Other than the futon, she had a decently sized bookshelf filled with from one end to the next with books. Behind a screen in a corner, I could see a small bathing basin (in case she ever wanted to wash off without having to go to a bath house filled with other women) with enough room for her dress and do her business in private. As far as I knew, Kagome did not allow any servant to dress or bathe her in the mornings or at night; she instated she do it all on her own. And other than a window, that was all to Kagome's room. It suited her simple needs but it still felt empty.
Lonely and cold.
Kagome patted the space next to her on the futon and I readily joined her, crossing my arms and legs. The pillows were left untouched as she hugged her legs to her chest, resting her chin on her knees. Her eyes were glossed over, as if she were in deep thought.
"What are you thinking about, Kagome?" I inquired.
It took her a few heartbeats to answer. "I'm trying to figure out why you kissed me."
I blushed. "I-I told you why-"
"No, I mean, why did you kiss me when you know that there can be nothing between us? Why would you kiss me when you know there is nothing I can do to return your feelings?"
I growled in annoyance. "You're talking about those stupid rules you have to follow again. Explain something to me, Kagome: how did you even come to be here? And don't give that bullshit of you can't tell me because things are different now and you know that."
Kagome sighed; she knew I was right. Things were different. That kiss brought out too many feelings for us to simply bury them now. For me to understand why she couldn't let herself fall for me, I had to understand how she came to be here and why she stayed, allowing her life to be ruled by some High Priest.
"I was born different," she began. "I was born with spiritual abilities no child should have developed yet. Now, I was no master in the arts of spiritual powers, but I had abilities most priestess have to work on for years."
"Like what?" I asked.
"Well, for example, I was born with the ability to see auras. Most people have to train in that for years."
I nodded, urging her to continue the story.
"Before long, word of my powers reached beyond the borders of my small village. At the age of five, a man came to visit me. A priest named Mushin. He told my family that he was from the High Temple, the temple that held the most experienced and powerful spiritual priests and priestess, and that the High Priest had head tales of a child that was able to eradicate barriers, see auras, and heal even that of a person's soul."
"You," I realized.
Kagome nodded. "Me. He also told my family that my existence meant that the Jewel of Four Souls had been brought back into this world, and that this would demons and other evils to the village in search of it. The priest said that I would be safe at the temple and would be raised to protect the Jewel, as it was my Kami-given duty.
"So, without hesitation, I was brought immediately to the High Temple with Mushin. My family gave me up in order to protect the village and also to keep me safe. When I arrived, I had an audience with the High Priest. They decided that I would live out the rest of my days here, to protect the Jewel. Each year as I grew older, so did my powers. I have brought back soldiers from the brink of death, I have cured illnesses those have never heard of, purified those who have been possessed by demons, and have done my duty unwaveringly for fifteen years."
"But aren't you pissed at your family for giving you up like that? They didn't even ask if that's what you wanted!" I roared angrily. What family would do that to their daughter? So what if she had powers no one understood? I would fight every day to keep Kagome with me!
Kagome shook her head. "I'm not angry. They did what they thought was right to keep me and the village safe. I cannot condemn them for that."
"Kagome," I gasped in awe. "You cannot be that pure-hearted. That's impossible . . ."
The raven-haired woman let out a small, bitter-sounding laugh. "I have to be that pure, Inuyasha. It's all I've known. I barely remember my life at the village, because I was so young when I left, but I remember everything I need to know here. I must remain pure. That means I can never feel wrath, jealousy, or regret. I can never indulge in earthly pleasures or wear makeup, jewelry, or clothing other than my priestess kimono that would enhance my beauty. That would cause vanity within me. That is why that day in the forest I told you I had never met someone like you; someone so free. Yes, you have your own code to follow with the Kyōdai ai, but you chose that life. I had my life chosen for me.
"And I can never . . ." She trailed off. Kagome swallowed hard, as if she had a large rock blocking her throat. "I can never be with a man. Not fully. I can never marry or have sex. The act would taint my body and love would draw my attention away from my duty. It just can't happen for me, Inuyasha. That it why you need to abandon any feeling you may have for me. They will do you no good-"
"It's too late," I interjected. I pulled Kagome closer to me, making her unravel from her ball so I could position her in my lap. She needed to hear this. She needed to hear it was too late for me. "I have tried to tell myself over and over again that you are nothing but an assignment for me to accomplish. I even tried to tell myself that Koga slobbering all over you didn't make me jealous. But the truth is, Kagome, I can't lie to myself anymore.
"I won't abandon these feelings for you. I don't want to. I understand that you can't allow yourself to be with me but you should know where I stand. I will stay with for as long as you need me to, I will be your friend and I will be your guardian, but you are going to have to look at me every single fucking day and know that I have fallen for you. I hope you can live with that."
"Inuyasha . . ." Kagome began to speak but bit her lip instead. I could practically see the turmoil that was storming inside her blue eyes. I wish this wasn't her life. I wish she had the freedom to follow her heart. I mean, in the Kyōdai ai I was not allowed to take a wife, but they never said anything about being intimate. We could be with anyone we wanted to, at any time as long as it did not interfere with a mission. This restriction was small compared to Kagome's.
We were silent for a few moments. I allowed Kagome to gather her thoughts; she needed time to think about what I had said. I would give her all the time she needed.
She obviously didn't need long to think, though, because before I knew it she was turning in my lap to face me. She said nothing as she cradled my face in her hands and brought her lips to mine. I was admittedly surprised by her initiating it, but I quickly jumped the fuck into action and kissed back.
The kiss was not demanding like the one from last night. It was soft, slow, and teasing. There was no desperation between us. We were alone; no one knew where we were. Kagome titled her head to change the angle of the kiss, even opening her mouth daringly. She made no move to continue from there. I was the one who had to lead from there. I pushed my tongue into her mouth and stroked hers slowly. I felt her shiver under my hands that were placed on her hips.
Kagome began to twist her tongue with mine teasingly and her body began to press even closer to mine as she grew more daring. Her legs were encircled around my waist, causing her heat to drift even closer to mine.
I wanted more. Moving over, I laid Kagome back on her mountain of pillows, my body covering her completely. Our breaths were labored and mingled, causing the air around us to become filled with our spiked scents. It was lulling me into a drug-like state. I didn't know where she began and where I ended in that moment.
Kagome wrapped her arms around my neck in order to draw me closer and began to suck on my bottom lip like candy.
"Fuck," I breathed out sharply. For someone who had no experience in this area, Kagome knew just what to do to push me to the edge. It was like she was born to drive me fucking wild. In light of this move, I couldn't hold back the jerk of my hips against her. The hard-on I was sporting should have made me ashamed but a part of me wanted Kagome to feel just what she did to me.
Well, the room definitely wasn't cold anymore. In fact, it was stifling in here.
I slid my hand under her thigh and lifted her leg up so I could grind against her at a better angle. I abandoned her lips so I could pepper her pale neck with sloppy kisses as I continued to rub against her like a dog in heat. I heard Kagome let out a whimper, but she made no move to push me off, so I didn't stop.
The higher our arousals climbed, the more power I felt crackled through the air. I was surprised I was able to sense it with the most beautiful distraction writhing under me. However, it rose to a point that even I was able to tear myself away from her neck. Our auras were doing something I had never felt before.
"Kagome?" I said sharply to gain her attention quickly. It took all of my concentration to tear away from the woman that was so wrecked beneath me, with swollen lips, mussed hair, and her miko garb slowly beginning to unravel, allowing me the tantalizing sight of the valet between her breasts. I swallowed hard.
"Hm?" she murmured in between kissing my jawline.
"Wh-where's the Jewel, exactly?"
The priestess froze. I understood. Pushing me off her, she sat up so she could look at me in the eye and fix her kimono so her skin was hidden from me once more. She grabbed my hand and my brow furrowed in confusion. Kagome brought my hand towards her and placed it on a spot that was just above her right hip.
"It's right here," she whispered.
My eyes widened in surprise. The reason why no one knew where the Jewel was, why no one could find it, no matter how high or low the temple could be searched, was because Kagome had it all along.
It was inside of her.
"Fucking Kami," I gasped. "Was . . . was it put there?"
Kagome shook her head. "No. I was born with it. It's the reason I have the powers I have from a very young age."
"Who knows about this?"
"Just me, the High Priest, and now you. Inuyasha, this is my last secret. I am all but bare to you now."
My breath hitched in awe. Here was this woman, who owed me nor the world anything, but she was letting me into her world completely, knowing full well she shouldn't be doing anything that had transpired on that futon. Kagome wasn't abandoning her duty by being with me, I knew that, but I would be damned if I didn't let her experience life a little. I could do that for her. I could help her gain back some of the freedom that was taken from that child that day in the village. Kagome deserved that happiness. And if I was only one that could give that to her, then that's just what I was going to fucking do! I wouldn't let some stupid, sacred object or some stupid rules stop me from loving this woman.
As I said, it was already too late for me. I was giving Kagome her freedom but she had taken mine. My life wasn't just mine anymore; I had giving it away to her. Strange thing is, I couldn't be happier at the thought.
So I know the ending was kind of sudden, but for my own purposes, I had to end it like that. It will be continued in chapter 8.
Important note: At the beginning of the chapter, I made a historical reference to the Nara period in Japan. I would like to say that during the Nara and Heian period, it is true that the government did control miko practices, but it is of my own mind that miko developed their own secret language to communicate. I just need to uset hat for my own story. Just wanted to not that!
Thanks for reading!