A/N: Thanks everyone! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas!

Takes place a week after last chap.

Enjoy!

The sun peeks through the light curtains, revealing piles of boxes and laundry baskets of folded clothes. They've moved into their new home but have yet to unpack. "We don't have to go to work today," Derek tucks a lock of hair behind her ear. They're cuddled in bed, skin on skin, a closeness they haven't had for awhile. Meredith never wants it to go away.

She strokes his bare chest, relishing the feel of Derek's warm hard body against hers in the aftermath of making love. Today… they're really going to need each other. "I just… need to take my mind off things," she says. Things. As in her testimony at 3 o'clock today. If she could just find a few quick patients to work on… maybe a trauma or something. Eight hours is all she needs.

"Mmm," Derek hums, kissing her hand. She squeezes his. No cast anymore. He spent all day doing PT. Callie cleared him for surgery… so… he should be good to go.

"Are you ready?" she asks, laying her fingers alongside his before clasping his hand.

Derek flexes. "I… want to be."

"Me too." As he'd practiced with his hand, she'd done so with the D.A. She'd been examined, cross examined They'd gone over every detail, every possible objection or question that might be thrown her way. She feels ready. But it's not just Derek's hand or the trial… today, of all days… is Mark's last. Derek's eyes hold an undercurrent of sadness in the deep blue.

"I miss him," he admits. "I wish…" He stops and rolls onto his back. "I could've been a better friend, you know."

She doesn't know what to say. She could've been a better sister too. She sidles closer to him. They sigh together, their noses touching, then their lips. She pulls her husband close against her, and his tears mingle silently with hers as they grieve.

xxx

Before work, she asks Derek to make a stop. Meredith hates the cemetery but it's where Lexie is, and she wants to talk to her. She steps forward and rests some lilies at her grave. "Hi," she says to the dark gray stone, "I… um… today is… Mark's…" Meredith stops, swallows, controls her breathing. "He loves you, very much. I hope you get to see him… wherever you are."

Meredith shudders in the cold, taps her foot. Her mouth opens and closes as she thinks of what to say. "You know the five things? I never told you mine. I had pink hair, that's one; and a doll, Anatomy Jane. That's two. I'm… horrible at Math. So that's one thing we don't have in common. I've always wanted to be a surgeon… except once… when I… when things got hard. So that's four. And five?" Meredith glances at Derek's Porsche, parked not too far away. He's outside, leaning against it. "I had a baby.

"Yeah," Meredith continues. "I had a kid… I had to give her up… it… I guess after that… I couldn't let anyone in, you know. It felt like karmic payback when you showed up. You and Molly had this life that could've been mine. That could've been hers, my baby's. So… that's why… I was so harsh, I guess. I'm sorry. I wasted a lot of time. But… I think you'd be proud of me. I'm going to do this thing. Testify against a bad guy. I need you in my corner today, Lex." Meredith swallows and nods. She feels… something, "Okay," strength seems to ebb into her bones. She feels ready. "Thanks," she touches the cold gravestone. "I love you."

xxx

"Good morning everyone," Meredith approaches the table of interns, who, upon seeing her, suddenly sit up and look serious. "As you all probably know, we have a tradition here." She eyes them carefully, sizing them up to see who seems the most nervous. "The honor of performing your first surgery is reserved for the intern who shows the most promise…" Meredith pauses dramatically here. Honestly, it doesn't really matter who she picks… but for a second, she relishes the glances between the interns. "Dr. Wilson, congratulations, you're scrubbing in," she says before walking away.

She has to admit the young intern sort of reminds her of Lexie. Maybe that's why she picked her. But Meredith shoves the thought aside as she heads to the OR. Once she completes this, she'll be heading to the courthouse. She can't allow herself to think too far ahead.

She double checks the patient's chart and labs, and slides on her OR covers and scrubcap. When she enters the scrub room, Dr. Wilson is just behind her. Meredith knows she should be more friendly, more teacher-like, but she just can't. Not today. There's too much happening. Derek's been called in on a procedure, his first since the crash. She has to testify, and Mark… Meredith swallows.

It's just too much.

"Dr. Grey?" Wilson asks, "I read that in most cases, laproscopic removal of the appendix is recommended as the risk of complication-

"We're doing it open, because at this moment, the chance is high that the appendix could burst. It's much easier to clean the infection if this is the case, got it?"

"Uh, yes, Dr. Grey." Wilson replies as she finishes scrubbing.

"Good, now stop sucking up." Meredith snaps.

She backs through the door and into the OR. The scrub nurses towel off her still wet hands and gown her as she takes her position. Dr. Wilson joins her a minute later. Meredith can hear the low hum of conversation from the gallery. She sighs, the intercom is on. Again, she's thrown into the past, remembering George's turn for the intern appy. He should be here, doing this, Meredith thinks, sighing. Her thoughts drift to Lexie again, then Derek, who's in OR 2 right now. And then… She shakes her head. Stop it. Stop thinking. Stop.

There's no way she'll pull this off.

She might as long as she doesn't look at Medusa

Medusa's face will calcify her.

Do you think Medusa's always been Medusa?

Probably, I heard her mom was way worse.

Meredith says nothing, concentrating on the thin slice of the blade as Dr. Wilson makes her first incision.

Yeah, but that doesn't give her an excuse to act like a demon from the depths of hell itself.

Meredith figures she has plenty of reasons to act like a demon. She glares up at them.

It's like she can hear us…

Yeah, see that red light… the intercom is on. Owen says.

"I don't think that you're a demon," Wilson says.

Meredith doesn't have time for this. She doesn't want to be here. "Focus on what you're doing," she advises coolly.

It's slow going. The intern is barely making it through. "Okay, appendix is out." There's a clang as the clamp hits the stainless steel bowl. The appendix might be out, but that's barely half the surgery.

"What's next Wilson?" Meredith growls.

"Uh…" the nervousness comes off the girl in waves, "Now I invert the stump into the cecum…" But Wilson's hand slips, ripping the tender flesh wide open "Oh, no!"

"Okay, you ripped the cecum wide open, what's next?" Meredith already knows what to do, she's miles ahead and she finds it infuriating waiting for her intern to catch up. "Wilson!"

"Uh…" bile and pus escape the cecum into the abdominal cavity as Wilson stares blankly.

"Go in there and grab your purse strings!" she yells. Little red warning lights go off in Meredith's brain. Danger, danger… But Wilson does nothing.

Meredith bumps the intern out of the way. "Move!" she yells, grabbing the purse strings. "Clamp!" the tool is slapped into her palm and she goes to work. "Irrigation… let's go, let's go" the world fades. Her intern and the gallery slip away and it's just her and the body she's fixing. For the next twenty minutes, everything feels right and whole once more.

She's about to close when she remembers she's not alone. "Here," she hands over the needle. "You can close."

"Wha- I…"

"You can close, right?"

"Uh… yes… um, thank you ."

"Ugh," Meredith huffs and pulls away from the table. As she scrubs out, she remembers Derek is in OR 2, so as soon as she finishes, she pokes her head in across the hall.

But he's not there. Nelson is instead, which means Derek's attempt failed. "Dammit," she mutters. Meredith sighs and leans against the wall. She closes her eyes. Lexie is dead. Mark is dying… she can't reach Cristina… Alex is leaving for Hopkins, and Derek's hand is likely still messed up…

And she'll be testifying about the worst moment of her life in less than two hours.

She wants to disappear, she wants to fall apart. Meredith leans against the wall and sucks in air. She can't. She can't fall apart.

"That was mean," Dr. Wilson exits the scrub room, glaring at her. "It was a total set-up, wasn't it?"

Meredith blinks, thrown off guard. She shakes her head, she can't talk right now.

But Wilson remains there, staring at her, tears in her eyes. "Is this about the plane crash? I heard-,"

"Oh, you heard what? Someone lost a leg? Someone died… or almost died… Is that why I'm Medusa?" Meredith scoffs.

"Uh-," Jo stammers.

"I was trying to teach you what it takes. It wouldn't have mattered who I picked, the point was to show you you're not ready," Meredith huffs. "None of you are." Meredith blinks back images of Lexie under a plane… Mark trying to lift it off. Cristina, right in her face, yelling at her to stay awake. Arizona staring morbidly at her leg. She can still feel the smooth cold skin of Derek's forearm as she weaves a safety pin through it. "You have a life in your hands. You don't get to fall apart, you can't freeze. If you want to be a surgeon, you have to be strong. Now cry somewhere else, where I won't see you."

Chastened, Jo turns and leaves.

Meredith breathes a sigh of relief and sags against the wall. She just wants this day to be over.

xxx

She finds Derek in the attendings lounge, standing in front of mirror, flexing his hand. "I thought… I…" he sighs, frustrated. Meredith wraps him in a hug."And Mark…" His sigh blusters against her shoulder.

"I know," she whispers.

"Are you okay?" He rubs her back in slow circles.

"I just want it to be over," she croaks, trying not to cry.

"Hmm," her husband kisses her cheek, then catches her upper lip in his. His palm brushes against her face and she melts into it, into him, for a moment's relief from the angst of the day. "Come on, we should get ready."

xxx

Meredith and Derek arrive at the courthouse early and head to wait outside the courtroom. She sees a familiar figure in the hall. Katie Black.

"Hey," Katie nods at them.

"Hi," Meredith says, feeling a ripple of strength from the woman's presence. Soon this will be all over.

"You can do this," she says.

"I know." Meredith replies. Derek's behind her, his hands on her shoulders. Meredith is so thankful that he's here. She needs him today. They sit on the bench to wait. "So…" Meredith licks her lips. "He's in there?" she asks Katie. 'He' as in William.

The agent nods. "Yes."

"Okay."

Katie's phone vibrates. "I have to take this, excuse me." She steps away, down the hall.

Meredith and Derek remain seated. Meredith rubs her thighs. It feels like the end of the world, but she knows it's not. She just has to get through this moment… and the next, and the one after that.

"Meredith Grey?" A woman approaches.

"Hm?" She looks up. Time to testify? Already?

"This is for you," the woman hands her a small white envelope.

"What?" she asks, but the woman is gone.

With a glance at Derek, she opens the envelope. There's a picture, and a handwritten message. Meredith barely has time to read it and absorb the picture before the door to the courthouse opens, and the Bailiff appears. "Meredith Grey? You've been called to the stand."

A/N: What will happen next? Please Review!