Another exciting chapter and this time , folks, we is getting' political all up in your grillz. Not really. It's just as silly and ridiculous as ever.

Uhura stormed off to the bridge, still pouting over this sudden, yet logical, betrayal. Little did the two lovers know that Uhura had stolen Kirk's captain log.

She cracked open to a page and started reading, "Dear Captain's Log…today I kissed a boy and I liked it, the taste of his…" She glanced at the date again. This entry was five years earlier than the current Spork loving. Who could this secret lover be? She searched around some other pages, and finding an answer, turned to her console and placed a call.

"Ohholyfuckingshit! What' you're doing to my Vulcan fun-hole is so fucking logical I…..just, talk dirty to me, Kirk!" Spock cried in logical ecstasy.

Obliging, Kirk had just the thing for Spock.

"A woman has at least 2 pairs of black gloves, 2 pairs of white gloves, and 2 pairs of red gloves in a drawer. The gloves will fit either hand; they are not right or left-handed and each pair is identical. If they are removed from the drawer 1 at a time without looking at the colors, how many must she remove to be certain she has a matching pair for herself and her daughter? Tell me, you fucking filthy logic slut!" He panted between enthusiastic thrusts.

"The answer is siiiiiiixxxxxxxx!" Spock squealed as Kirk hit a most pleasant angle.

"Oh, yeah that's it! Keep going! Live long and prostate!"

Luke Skywalker was sitting down to a delicious breakfast quiche when his phone rang. His ringtone, a rousing chorus of ABBA's "Dancing Queen" caused him to jump in surprise.

"Oh my goodness!" he cried, his hand flying to his chest as though to calm his heart.

"Hidey ho, this is Luke!" he answered cheerfully.

"Hello Mr. Skywalker, this is Nyota Uhura of the S.S.S.S.Q.S. Enterprise, "Let me get right to the point. Do you remember a man by the name of James T. Kirk?"

Uhura grimaced at the sound of someone choking on quiche on the other line.

"Um, no. No I don't know anybody by that name and I CERTAINLY never ripped off his shirt, and you shouldn't even consider insinuating that I taught him how to tie a cherry stem in a knot with his tongue!"

"Let's not play games, Mr. Skywalker. We both know what happened between the two of you."

There was an audible silence and Luke considered his next words. Yes, he had kissed a boy…Jim Kirk…and he had liked it! He still could never accept that he had those types of feelings for men and had devoted his life to becoming an extremist right-wing believer of the force and banning gay marriage in space.

Luke explained his predicament to the woman on the other line in a hushed, yet urgent manner.

"Just…. Please, promise you won't tell! It was all Jim's fault! He's such a tease!" he pleaded.

Uhura only smiled at the hand that she had just been dealt.

"Oh, Mr. Skywalker. Your secret is safe with me. In fact, you must share the same disgust with James Kirk that I have. If we work together on this gay space-marriage ban, we can bring Jimmy a great deal of unhappiness. I think it's time we bring opposite marriage to space!!" she finished with a contented chuckle.

Sulu was painting Han's nails a lovely shade of Coral, when Han couldn't take it any longer.

"Look, I don't think this is going to work. I can't be your slave! I'm a fucking smuggler! You can't own me!" Han Sulu had been going on in this manner for some time now. Sulu happened to think it was just the cutest thing when his new property's cheeks flushed red and his eyes flashed in rage. He was just too yummy!

Meanwhile, McCoy was trying to get a bit of spinach out from his teeth.

"Stupid pizza with vegetables. Who puts that on pizza? And when will those two be done?!" McCoy was in the room next to the Captain's and could hear everything. Granted, he wasn't in his room. He had broken into a yeoman's room so he could keep his ear to the wall and…play along. Eventually though, the spit and hit was no longer working and he was incredibly chafed. They were still going at it.

Luke Skywalker was attempting to listen to Uhura and her plan to ensure gay marriage would never be legal in space. However, all he could think about was that time when he kissed a boy and he liked it. He thought he had gotten rid of all those nasty thoughts about Kirk. Dirty nasty thoughts involving grape jelly and the force.

While Skywalker was only daydreaming, Spock was basking in the afterglow of the reality.

Spock and Kirk had finished their logical sex and were cuddling logically, whispering dirty, logical nothings into each other's ears.

They were also making a list of the future sexual acts they wanted to try.
"I have read about this one. There is chocolate, and we lick it off of each other logically," offered Spock.

"Or…well you don't want to hear it," Spock said, shyly backing away from his idea.

"Noo! Tell me!" Kirk pleaded.

"Alright. I read it in Cosmic Cosmo and they said it was a move that would drive any man wild. Okay so first I gently shake you and shout, "Are you OK?" Then I Place the heel of one hand on the center of the chest, right between the nipples. I place the heel of my other hand on top of the first hand. I lock my elbows and position my shoulders directly above my hands. Next, I press down on the chest with enough force to move the breastbone down about 2 inches. I'll then compress the chest 30 times, at a rate of about 100 times per minute. After 30 compressions, I stop, open the airway again, and provide the next 2 slow breaths. Then, position my hands in the same spot as before and perform another 30 chest compressions. Continue the cycles of 30 compressions and 2 breaths."

"……that was in Cosmo?" Kirk wondered.

"It does sound a bit out of place….perhaps I am confusing what I read with CPR instructions…." Spock considered.

"Still……it sounds sexy!" Kirk giggled. "Though I personally love grape jelly and the Force."

"The what? Did you mention the Force? As in the Jedi?"

"…What?! No, you silly, silly illogical Vulcan!"

Spock raised an eyebrow. "If you say that again, captain, I shall be forced to punish you."

"Silly, silly illogical Vulcan, I bet you-" but Kirk never finished as Spock had pounced on top of the naughty Captain with a subdued logic.

Using his Jedi mind tricks, Luke Skywalker managed to come aboard the Enterprise undetected and made his way to turbolift 3. The doors opened and inside waited Uhura, completely naked.

"Oh jeepers creepers!" Luke screeched, "Why are you naked?"

"I think the question is, why aren't you naked?" Uhura purred.

"Um…..no, I'm still gonna go with why are you naked?" he returned, averting his eyes.

"I thought we could get things off to a fun start!"

"I'm sorry, Nyota, but I don't believe in having sex before marriage!"

Uhura's eyes lit up with a rash idea.

"Let's get married! Our marriage would set the perfect example for our cause!"

Luke jumped at the thought of marrying a woman. "Icky Squickies! Maybe we should ban all marriage…."

Uhura could see her attempt at getting laid was not her best laid planned. She rolled her eyes and led her new friend to her quarters, where she was made to promise she would put on clothes.

Sulu was carrying a perfectly adorable French maid's costume to his new boy toy, when he overheard Nytota talking to a voice he was unfamiliar with.

With an ear held closely to her door he could just make out their conversation and it didn't sound good. No gay marriage in space? The thought was deplorable! Space was the most fabulously gay place ever! Hell, it was covered with swirling galaxies of fuchsia and mauve and it was all glittery with stars. The cosmos practically matched Sulu's sexy-panties collection! He was devastated at the possibility of the ban himself, but he also knew that Spock and Kirk would not take it well. What to do? He decided he would confide in his beloved Han Sulu.

Luke Skywalker wished Uhura had put on more than lingerie, but at least her boobies weren't making him sick anymore. They had talked late into the night, and come up with a plan to stop gay marriage. Tomorrow, the hate would begin, and soon people all over space would be caught up in a debate that actually had no purpose.

Skywalker sighed, and resigned himself to sleep, where he and Kirk participated in his favorite fantasy…only this time, the jam was raspberry.

Oh dear!! What crazy antics will ensue now? Review, and the crack addicted gnome that runs my brain will write! Thank you to all of those who have reviewed thus far, and I will again put out a plug for the Facebook profile for Gaila Redshirt. There are now pictures up that deptic that enthralling events of this epic story. Check it out if you like Star Trek and silliness.