July 2000 – Jay's house
"Jay?" Vivian gently closed the fence gate as she made her way around the side of the house. The pool water caught her eye as it glittered in the sun light. "Jay."
"In here," she finally heard his voice say. Making her way up the patio, she stepped inside of his house and into the kitchen. "Just putting dessert in the fridge."
"What'd you make?" she asked as she crossed her arms over her chest.
"A cheesecake," he replied, a smile plastered on his face. "Fresh from the box."
A laugh escaped her as she walked over to his kitchen table and sat down. "The front door was locked."
"What? Lost your key?" he sarcastically remarked.
"Ha-ha, funny. No," she said, pressing her lips together. "I just thought it'd be open since we agreed we'd swim today."
"Well, I'm about to fire up the grill."
"Ooh, what are you planning to cook?"
"Just the typical burgers and hotdogs. You wanna make all the other stuff?"
"Yeah, sure," she said as she stood from the table and started looking at the food sitting on the counter. "I can make macaroni salad and some potato salad. And I'll make a quick fruit salad." She turned to him as she reached into a cabinet for mixing bowls. "Anyone else coming over?"
"Adam and his girl."
"Oh, nice," she said as she grabbed up the variety of fruits that were still in grocery bags.
Jay watched from the side as she looked at the bunch of bananas for longer than was needed. "Bananas offend you?"
"What's the cheesecake?"
"Plain, with some vanilla in it that I put."
"No fruit on it?"
"No, I'm not that fancy. Why?"
Without answering, she went to the fridge, pulling out the round tin. She didn't speak as she sliced two bananas and placed them perfectly on the cheesecake. "Should be delicious," she said more to herself than him, and placed the tin back into the fridge to chill.
He laughed at her, shaking his head, as he headed out toward the patio. After lighting up the grill, he came back into the kitchen only to be met with a sight that dramatically tugged at his heart. Vivian was finishing up cleaning the ears of corn, wrapping each cob with tin foil after brushing ample butter on them. She put them on a metal tray that Jay would be taking outside as she looked up and smiled at him.
"I'll make the burgers if you want," she offered.
"Work your magic," he barely got out as he cleared his throat after speaking. Even though he had a girlfriend, he couldn't help but have a feeling about her. He had tried his best to suppress the feelings he had towards Vivian over the years, but it increasingly became harder to do so. Since he purchased this house in Tampa, they were hanging out around each other more and more. The only time she wasn't around him was when she went up to North Carolina. They'd even slept over each others house. She'd even gone as far as fixing up one of her guest rooms to his liking.
But as the sinking reality of the situation came to him, he stepped back into the shadows away from her. He quickly found his vision nearly spinning. Must be the heat, he thought as he headed toward the bathroom. Shutting the door, he hastily leaned over the sink and turned on the cold water. He splashed his face with the coolness and reached for the towel to dry his face.
"How could I have fallen so deeply?" His question seemed to get lost in his mind as he heard her voice.
"Jay, you okay?" He heard her fingertip lightly tap at the white door.
"Yeah, I'm fine," he called through the door. Adjusting his posture as he turned off the faucet, he placed the towel neatly back on the rack and opened the door. "I just got a little dizzy."
"Don't let yourself get sick. It's too hot for that."
"I'll get a bottle of water," he said as he pushed himself past her. "Burgers ready?"
"Yes," she stated as she resumed her position at the counter. "All seasoned up and ready to go. I put the hotdogs on the tray as well."
"They already smell awesome."
She smiled at him, wiping her hands on the kitchen towel as the door bell rang. "Oh," she said quickly. "That must be Adam. I'll get it."
He watched her walk away before grabbing up the tray of food that he was to cook on the grill. They'd only been friends for a couple of years. He never imagined they'd grow so close. At one point, he realized that he was closer to Vivian than he was to his own girlfriend. He frowned at the thought running through his mind. He knew he should feel horrible for wishing she would just forget about that Hardy. He knew he should be happy for her, and be happy that she found the guy she wanted to be with. He only wish it were him.
November 2010 – 11:24 PM – Vivian's home
She sighed as she looked at the clock. She only had a little over a half an hour before this day was over. A day she'd celebrated with Jay for over a decade now. Except for this one. It made her feel so empty inside knowing that they'd spent this day apart. She twiddled with the screen of her phone, flicking between each screen before finally pressing his icon. The phone began dialing his number and she breathed deeply, placing the phone up to her ear. She didn't know whether it was relief or sadness that washed over her as his machine answered.
"Hey Jay," she said quietly with another sad sigh. "I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday. I know we haven't been on the best of terms lately, and I - "
"Hey," his voice suddenly cut in after a brief beep.
"Hi. Happy birthday."
"Thanks." He was quiet for a moment then cleared his throat. "Listen, I'm glad you called. I want to tell you that I'm sorry. Things should have turned out differently."
"Jay, don't apologize. It was stupid of me to continue this for as long as I have."
"Viv, I should have told you. I should have told him that day. This is completely my fault."
"No," she said licking her lips and pressing them together. "It's not. Because I should have done a lot of things. One of them being to never had depended on someone else to do what I should have done myself." She leaned on the counter, her head in her hand.
"Yeah, but I should have been the friend to you that you thought I was. I let my feelings - " He paused, stopping himself from saying what he'd always wanted to say to her. But, of course, she caught it.
"What feelings? It wasn't supposed to run so deep, remember?" she asked, her eyes closing as she placed a hand over her forehead. She could hear him take in a deep breath, and let it out in a big sigh.
"I've loved you for years now."
"Jay, you can't. It was nine years ago."
"I know," he confessed quickly. "I know it doesn't matter now, but I'll tell you this." He was silent before continuing on with his confession. "Meeting you that day when you were still in catering, was the best day of my life. Even now. Nothing has ever surmounted to the happiness I've had with you in my life. And sometimes I just wish that we could have spent these past fourteen years together. But another part of me knows that you've found who you were happiest with."
"I'm very happy with Jeff, even through our time apart. But you're my best friend, Jay." She cursed the tears that threatened to fall. "How could I not be happy with you around? You always make my day." A small laugh burst through the tears.
"I betrayed your trust, Viv," he said solidly. "I turned on everything that built our closeness."
"I was wrong to place something so deep on you. And I should have known better." She shook her head, straightening up as she lightly slapped the marble counter top. "I know it's late. Why don't we meet up for lunch next time you're back over here?"
He chuckled. "Sounds good. I should be home Tuesday night."
"Jay," she said softly. "I didn't mean to hurt you. And I wish I would have fixed this myself. None of this would have ever happened." She looked down, tracing the marble with her finger. "I'm really glad to have you as a friend."
He nodded his head, realizing she couldn't see him. "I'll see you in a couple of days."
Quietly, she trod off to her room to bed.
December 2010 – 9:45 AM
"How was your lunch with Jay yesterday?" Jeff asked as he approached a stool to sit on.
"It was nice." She placed down her mug of coffee and leaned on the counter. "I wish I had seen it before."
"His attraction to you?"
"Mhm," she nodded. "I mean, I knew, because he asked me for a date that one night. But I thought it was gone, especially after so many years."
"Well, love doesn't just fade."
"True," she said as she fixed him a plate of food. He stared at it for a long moment as she placed a glass of juice in front of him as well. "Something wrong?"
"Would you have been with him?"
"What?"
"Would you have been with him?" he repeated as he looked up at her, seemingly ignoring his plate for the time being. "I mean, if we never met or if nothing happened between us, would you have?"
She stared at him, wishing his eyes to tell her of some emotion to go by. "I don't know."
"Did you ever love him? When I wasn't around?"
She remained silent, busying herself with wiping an already spotless counter top. He sighed heavily and turned his attention to his food.
"It worked then," he said in a quiet tone.
"I didn't have anyone for years, Jeff."
"Did you ever sleep with him?"
"What do you think?" she asked, her jaw setting squarely.
"I think you loved him," he told her as he stared intently at her. "And I think you would have if I wasn't going to be around anymore."
"Oh, bullshit, Jeff," she said, the frustration of it all getting the best of her.
"I'm not stupid, Vivy. I know how close you two are. Don't think I never saw it."
"Are you accusing me of messing around with Jay?"
"No, I'm saying that I know you. You would have eventually been with him, because you do love him on some level. And don't act like I'm too dumb to know."
"I don't think you're dumb, Jeff!" She slapped the towel against the counter top, and then placed her hands over her face. "Why are we fighting?" she asked through her fingers. "Why? It doesn't even matter."
"No," he said solemnly as he stood from the stool. "I guess it doesn't from someone who's never wanted to tell me the truth."
She sighed heavily as she watched him walk away. He had barely touched his food, and she almost hastily took the plate, sweeping the excess food into the bowl she used for dog scraps.