Mad World

Chapter 7

~.~

Thanks, again, for the reviews! You are all ahhh-mazing!

Sorry for the delays between updates…I've had a bit of a writer's block lately. The storylines are in my head, but the words just won't come out right, ugh.

I got into grad school! Oh, 2011…marriage, grad school, turning 25…this year is turning out to be pretty epic for me :)

Man, I am all over the place. On with the story….

~.~

Chandler sat on the couch, reading the morning newspaper. Though he had spent the past week or so catching up on world news online, he felt like there was no way he could ever catch up on four year's worth of events in his own life, let alone in the world, so reading that morning's news was a bit like skipping ahead a few chapters in a book. Actually, living his life without remembering the past four years felt a bit like skipping ahead a few chapters in a really gripping book. It had felt rather unnerving so far, but today, it felt a little different. A little better, a little bit easier. Not normal, but better.

Talking to Monica had helped.

Monica poured herself a cup of coffee, pausing for a moment before pouring Chandler one, as well. She had realized she had been shutting him out completely for the last week, but not because she meant to. She had just been existing the best that she could given how badly she was hurting and falling apart inside. But, he was right. About everything. They had never had the kind of relationship she was giving to him. And…he might never get his memory back. And, if that was the case, they needed to do something, because she didn't want to lose him, and she was comforted by the fact that he didn't want to lose her.

Walking over to the couch, Monica sat down, cross-legged, beside Chandler, her knee overlapping his leg. She smiled as she set both coffee mugs on the table in front of them, reaching for one of the sections of the newspaper he had already discarded. Chandler placed his hand on her knee as they both remained silent, Monica trying her best to remember how much she had loved Chandler back before she loved Chandler. She tried to remember how they had acted back then, what the appropriate way to be around him was. They had cuddled. They had flirted. She had sat next to him given the opportunity, because she liked how affectionate he was. He would look at her after he told a joke to see if he had made her laugh.

A lot, she decided as she scanned the front page of the paper. She had loved him a lot before she ever loved him.

Ross walked in, slamming the front door shut behind him as he made his way over to the loveseat. "If she doesn't have this baby soon, I swear to god, I'm gonna pull it out of her."

"Good morning to you, too, Ross," Chandler laughed, and Ross scowled at him.

"Only a couple weeks left, right?" Monica added.

"Longest sixteen days of my life," Ross sighed. "Wanna borrow her for the next couple of weeks? You'll hardly know she's here…."

The door slowly opened, a miserable-looking Rachel appearing from behind it. "Really, Ross? You're gonna run up the stairs to beat me?"

"I thought we were racing," Ross shrugged unconvincingly, and Rachel rolled her eyes, making her way, more slowly, over to the couch. She stopped, though, looking at Chandler and Monica on the couch together, interrupting what felt like something.

"Shouldn't we get going, Ross?" she asked, looking at him.

Ross looked at his watch. "Your appointment isn't for another hour."

"Well, there could be traffic."

"It takes ten minutes to get there."

"Maybe if we get there early, we can see the doctor early, and you won't have to be so late to work."

"Or, if we get there early, maybe we will just be sitting in the waiting room for forty-five minutes, waiting."

"Ugh, Ross," Rachel finally said in frustration.

"Really?" Chandler looked at Ross. "You're gonna argue with the woman carrying your child?"

"Thank you, Chandler," Rachel sighed in relief.

"Yea, thanks for that, man," Ross said sarcastically, patting him on the shoulder as he walked by. "Guess we'll see you guys later."

"Bye," Monica called out as they left, a comfortable silence following as she and Chandler continued to sit reading the paper. "What time do you have physical therapy today?" Monica finally asked.

"Two," Chandler replied, reaching for the cup of coffee in front of him. "You work at eleven?"

Monica nodded, looking around while trying to look like she wasn't looking around, not seeing the crutches she was looking for. "Are you still supposed to be using crutches?"

Chandler smiled. "If I say no, will you believe me?" Monica shook her head, and Chandler laughed, looking around, as well. "Well, they're here somewhere." Giving up, he shrugged. "Hey, um, do you work late tomorrow night?"

"No, tomorrow's my night off."

"That's what I thought," Chandler smiled. "Would you want to go do something tomorrow night? Dinner or a movie or something?"

Monica smiled. He was asking her out on a date. "That would be great," she nodded, and Chandler smiled, again settling into the couch next to her.

"The course of events in my life would be to ask my wife on a first date the year after marrying her," he attempted a joke, but Monica recognized the more self-deprecating side of him that she hadn't seen much of in quite some time.

So, instead of saying anything, she leaned into him, rubbing his arm reassuringly, happy that his response to that was draping an arm across the back of the couch around her.

It was all progress.

~.~

"Hey."

Chandler looked up from the photo album he was looking at as Rachel walked through the door, heading over to the couch, next to where he was sitting.

"Hey," he replied warily, and she laughed.

"Be nice," Rachel warned, jokingly, "or I will be as bitchy to you as I am to Ross."

Chandler laughed at that, going back to looking at the pictures in front of him. "Wanna narrate for me?" he finally asked slowly.

"What?"

Chandler closed the album he was going through, grabbing another one off of the stack he had on the coffee table in front of them. "Wanna narrate for me?" he asked, flipping through the first few pages that he remembered: a few from Montauk, a few from the last New Year's Eve that he remembered, pictures from when he and Joey switched apartments with the girls.

"Have you asked Monica to?"

Chandler sighed. "No. I mean, I've asked her things, but the thing is…I don't want her to give too much away. I've read that a lot of people with amnesia, they start to question whether or not certain events are actually recovered memories, or if they've just been told so many times about them in such detail that they actually start to think of it as a memory, when it's really just a story they've been told," he trailed off, flipping through a couple more pages. "I don't want her to give everything away. I want big picture stuff," he stopped at pictures that he presumed were from Ross's wedding. "You can give me big picture stuff without giving too much away." He moved over, handing her the album.

Rachel smiled. "Ross and Emily's wedding reception," she laughed, remembering the fiasco that night had been. "I have no idea where that one came from," she pointed to one of him and Monica dancing that looked like it had been taken by a professional photographer."

"I looked at the backs of some of them," Chandler smiled. "Emily sent it to her."

"Ah," Rachel nodded, flipping through a few more. "I'm not going to be any help on any of these that are just the two of you," she shook her head, "you guys were dating in secret for quite awhile."

"How long?"

"God, four or five months?" Rachel laughed. "I don't know how it took so long for all of us to find out. Once I found out, I couldn't believe how obvious you guys were being about it. And we were all completely oblivious. Well, except Joey, somehow…."

"Huh."

"I would guess that is you and baby girl Chandler," she pointed to one of him holding one of the triplets at the hospital.

"There isn't a part of that sentence I understood," Chandler laughed.

"Phoebe was a surrogate for Frank and Alice. She had triplets and got to name one of them," she explained, and Chandler smiled.

"And she picked Chandler?" he asked, touched, and Rachel nodded. "Kind of a masculine name, though, isn't it?"

Rachel shrugged. "Works on you."

Works on you.

"What?" he looked at her, recognizing that phrase.

"She was supposed to be a boy," Rachel again shrugged, flipping through a few more pages. "New Year's," she pointed to a picture.

"I got that from the hats," Chandler nodded.

"Right."

"I said I didn't want too much given away, but," Chandler paused, smiling, "I watched our wedding video earlier."

"And?"

"Well, I watched it twice. And may or may not have cried," he smiled slightly. "But I'm pretty sure that's one of those things you're allowed to cry at and still be considered a man."

"Pretty sure," Rachel laughed slightly in agreement. "Are you okay?" she looked up at him.

He nodded slowly. "Better. Getting to okay."

"You talked to Monica, I'm guessing? Because you guys seem better."

"Yes, and getting there," he repeated, still flipping through the pictures.

Rachel nodded, looking at the pictures, too. "Good."

~.~

Chandler stood in the living room, halfway between Monica's bedroom door and the bathroom door, waiting for Monica to come out.

Dinner had been fun. He had asked her what her favorite moment with him ever was (the night they got engaged, when it was just the two of them dancing alone in their living room, candles still lit, completely happy), she had asked him what his favorite memory with her was (at the hospital after Ben was born, she had apologized to him for being so offended at his earlier offer to be her back-up and had, jokingly, told him there were worst guys in the world to end up with than him and had kissed him on the cheek before he hugged her), he had asked about her work for the past four years, and she had asked if he was excited to go back to work. He told her he watched their wedding video and cried, and she looked like she could cry. And they had talked, and laughed, and he had known why something that wasn't supposed to go past one night had lasted.

There was just one more thing….

As Monica walked out of the bathroom, Chandler smiled, walking over to her. She looked at him questioningly, because he looked like he was going to say something, but when he stopped in front of her, he was silent. Instead, he kissed her, slipping one arm around her waist, the other hand on her face. And Monica immediately wrapped her arms around his neck, having missed kissing him, having needed to kiss him. She knew his kisses, knew this kiss wasn't leading to anything but a kiss, and that was completely fine.

Pulling back slowly, Chandler smiled, touching her cheek as he whispered, "Goodnight," before walking into the bathroom to get ready for bed, leaving her standing in the living room, staring at the closed door, the feeling in the pit of her stomach somewhere between elation and turmoil because in that moment she missed her husband more than she could ever say, but was glad for what she still had, where she was getting with him.

And Chandler closed his eyes once he was on the other side of the closed door, feeling the exact same way.