Propriety: Chapter 7

Whoo! Week off for 4th of July! Gotta love a boss that visits family for a week. Happy Early Independence Day everyone! :)

Warnings: There is some graphic child abuse at times, as well as homophobic slurs used later on. Internalized homophobia. NO SEX! So don't worry about that.

Disclaimer: I think we all know at this point that no one other than JK Rowling owns these beloved characters. I just own this plot line. ;)

Please Enjoy!

Civility

Harry was anxious. It was Friday afternoon, and he was sitting in his last class of the day: Charms. He really did like the class, but his mind kept going to his dinner plans with Professor Snape. Hermione rolled her eyes and jabbed Harry in the side to get him to pay attention.

Her friend jumped and sent her an accusatory glare, to which she just pointed forward, telling him to pay attention. Harry sighed and stared forward again, but in a matter of moments, his focus was gone. He didn't even notice class was over until Hermione tapped him impatiently on the shoulder. Harry winced, but didn't give any outward signs to the pain.

His shoulder hadn't been too painful the past few days, for which he was eternally grateful. Harry could only assume that meant everything was healing properly. That didn't mean it didn't still hurt every so often. Pushing all of that aside, he gathered his things and stood by Hermione.

"I take it you'd like my notes from class since you weren't paying attention?" Harry sighed and nodded.

"If you wouldn't mind, Hermione. I'm sorry. I just…couldn't focus." Hermione's irritation lessened some as she took in the exhausted slope of her friend's shoulders.

"You're worried about your dinner with Professor Snape, aren't you?" Harry snorted and gave her a crooked smile as they walked out into the hall.

"Is it that obvious? I just…don't know what to expect, you know? I can't help but think of every other time we've had a 'conversation'. I mean, he was so different the last time we talked but…"

"But you're worried that given enough time he'll go right back to how he used to be," the witch finished for him. Harry nodded. "That's not a crazy notion, Harry, but I highly doubt it will happen." Harry groaned, his head falling back.

"But how can you be so sure!?" Hermione grabbed his arm and spun him to face her. Harry smoothed his wince over as best he could, but Hermione was preoccupied with feeling up his arms.

"Um…'Mione?" The witch shook her head and pulled her hand away.

"You're too skinny. Anyway, I just really think you should give this a shot, Harry. Professor Snape has reached out to you twice now. If that doesn't say he's willing to try, I don't know what is." Harry nodded slowly, understanding what she was saying but still having a hard time tamping down his nerves. "Besides," Hermione continued in a softer tone. "If, and that is a big if, things don't turn out well, you always have us." Harry couldn't help but smile at his friend.

"Thanks, 'Mione."

"Oi, Potter! Trying to steal my girlfriend?" Harry and Hermione's eyes rolled in sync as Ron came up, Neville, Luna and Ginny beside him. Everyone in Hogwarts was used to seeing the six students together. Since the war had ended, people weren't surprised to see the surviving heroes stick together. To quote the Minister of Magic, the bonds forged in tragedy and war do not break, but last until the end of time.

"That one's going to get old really fast, Ron. 'Mione and I have most of our classes together." Ron slipped up and put his arm around Hermione's shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah. Now c'mon, Mate. I need some help with my Defense essay before dinner." So Harry found himself suitably distracted by his best friends until the common room clock struck the dinner hour. Harry stayed seated, before Hermione touched his shoulder.

"You should probably go, Harry. You're going to be late as it is." Harry nodded jerkily and stood, rubbing his sweaty palms on his trouser pants.

"You're right. Well, I'll see you guys then." The others gave him nods of encouragement, and he left. Before he lost all the courage he had, Harry picked up the pace and jogged all the way down to the dungeons, not stopping until he was right in front of the portrait to Snape's quarters. Slightly out of breath, he knocked on the portrait's frame. Ten seconds later, the portrait swung open to reveal the stoic Potion's Master.

"Mr. Potter…I was beginning to think you had changed your mind." Harry shook his head, his nerves starting to come back at the man's heavy tone.

"No, Sir. I, I lost track of time helping Ron with his homework. And I thought it was Harry now?" He added the last bit as his typical defense mechanisms started to take hold. He waited for the sneer and insult, followed by the door being slammed in his face, but instead the exact opposite happened. Snape actually relaxed and smiled ever so slightly.

"You're right, Harry. I apologize. Come in. Dinner has been kept warm." Harry only hesitated a second before walking inside. The dining area was more or less the kitchen, not that Harry minded. As before, he was surprised at how cozy Snape's apartments were. Once they were seated, Snape cleared his throat, which Harry hazarded to guess was a nervous gesture. "I inquired in the kitchens as to what your favorite meal was and found myself surrounded by distraught house elves when they couldn't give me an answer. Apparently, you eat anything without complaint, so I just had them bring down some of whatever they were planning to serve tonight in the Great Hall." Harry nodded in appreciation.

"Yeah, I'm not a very picky eater. Though…I'm actually not very fond of peanut butter sandwiches." Harry honestly did not know why that unusually personal information slipped out. He didn't even stop to think before he just spat it out. Unsurprisingly, Severus was curious.

"Why, may I ask, are you averse to peanut butter sandwiches of all things?" It wasn't a common household item for the majority of the British population, but it could still be found in certain stores. The younger wizard racked his brain for an answer and decided a partial truth was his best bet. He shrugged to make himself seem more relaxed and picked up his fork.

"Just got sick of them after a while, I guess. I ate them so often as a kid growing up, that now I can barely even stand the smell of peanut butter." In actual fact, peanut butter on stale bread was the only food besides expired soup cans he ever got at the Dursley household. It was cheap and Aunt Petunia only gave him a piece a day. With everything that went on there, he began to associate the smell with hunger, pain and aching loneliness.

Severus could tell there was more to it than what he was told, but let it be for now. He could press such things later, when their relationship was stronger.

"Well, I can assure you, there is no peanut butter in the shepherd's pie. I expect you to eat all of that, Harry." Harry had to bite on the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling. He didn't want to explain that it actually made him very happy to be watched over. And with Snape it didn't feel oppressive or overbearing, it just felt…normal, natural.

While he was stuck in his mind, his body was mechanically repeating the motion of putting food in his mouth. Severus watched his ward with amusement. The boy's facial expressions were fascinating to watch as they showed everything he was thinking, but none of it was hindered by non-stop conveyer belt motion of food to mouth. Before Severus even thinks Harry realized it, the young wizard was almost done with his food.

The harsh scrape of Harry's fork against the plate was what brought the boy back out of his head. The young wizard blinked a couple of times, before setting the utensil down, a light pink tinge to his cheeks. Severus cleared his throat to keep himself from snorting. He and Harry might be off to a good start, but he didn't want to test things and end up having Harry think he was laughing at him.

"I suppose I should be grateful you don't eat as boorishly as Mr. Weasley, but you are right up there with him in speed." Harry hung his head, feeling scolded and like he was a disappointment.

"Sorry, Sir." Severus was concerned at the sudden change in Harry's demeanor and wasn't sure how to address it.

"I'm not upset, Harry. You did what I asked. I just think you might enjoy your food more if you slowed down. Did you even taste it?" Snape let some of his amusement bleed through into his tone and was amazed at the transformation in his ward when the boy heard it. Harry perked up instantly and gave him a pleasant smile.

"Yes, Sir. It was really good. Compliments to the chef!" The Potion's Master had no idea what the boy was doing calling out to the air, but then he swore he heard a distant cacophony of giggling and delighted squeals and realized Harry was talking to the Hogwart's house elves. He shook his head in amazement.

"You really are something else, Harry." The boy looked at him in confusion.

"Sir?" Severus finished his last few bites and wiped his mouth with his napkin before answering.

"I can guarantee that no other witch or wizard would even think to thank house elves for dinner like that or be anywhere near as considerate as you are to them…well, save for one of course." Severus paused to see if Harry knew what he was leading into. He saw it hit the boy a couple of seconds later.

"My mum? She was really nice?" Severus smiled and nodded.

"Lily Evans was the nicest woman I have ever known. She would do anything for anyone." Severus snorted. "Some people mistook that to mean that she was also easy to walk on, but let me tell you, I would not want to cross your mother." Harry's face absolutely shone with happiness as soon as Snape started talking about Lily. In that moment, Harry didn't look like James at all. He looked like Harry, Lily's son, and his own person. It made the ex-spy wonder how he could ever believe the boy was a replica of his father.

"Mum was feisty then?" Severus couldn't help the bark of laughter that escaped him.

"You could say that. There was one time, in our third year, when your father…" The time flew by as Severus recounted story after story. It all flowed so easily, with one leading seamlessly into the next. Harry was soaking up every word and was amazed to see just how happy and animated Severus Snape was when talking about his Mum. It was after they had moved to the more comfortable arm chairs and had tea long cooled in their hands that he finally asked what he had been thinking.

"You loved her, didn't you?" The words he had been about to speak next lodged in Severus's throat. He replayed the question in his head a few times and was surprised at the lack of disgust or anger in them. Surely, Harry would hate to hear that his dreaded, now civil Potion's Professor loved his mother when they were in school together. When he met Harry's eyes, however, he could see none of that was true. The boy seemed sad for him. When Snape didn't answer right away, Harry blushed and looked down into his tea.

It distressed Snape to see how the boy curled up into himself as if preparing to be attacked.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. I didn't mean-"

"It's alright, Harry." Severus couldn't stand to hear any child speak like that, especially Harry. It reminded him too much of how he spoke around his father, and just that thought made a pit grow in his stomach. "I'm not mad. You're allowed to ask me any questions, just know that I may not answer them. Do you understand?" Harry looked up and nodded warily. "Good. And to answer your question…yes. Your mother was…my best friend, the first and only person who had ever been nice to me for most of my childhood. Thinking back I cannot say whether I was truly in love with your mother, or whether my love for her was that of a sister. However, I do know that when she started to show signs of returning James Potter's affections, something inside of me snapped and I did the only thing I could to protect myself. I pushed her away."

Snape's voice quieted at the end, and he stared into the fire that had come to life half an hour ago. After only a few moments, he shook his head and forced himself back to the present.

"I will forever regret my actions of that day and those following." The Potion's Master nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt a tentative hand grasp his shoulder. He looked up to see Harry had reached over and was giving him a small smile.

"Well, from what you've told me of Mum, I know she forgave you. It also sounds like she cared for you a lot too. That doesn't just go away, no matter how bad your fight was." Severus was again amazed at his ward. The boy was exceedingly mature; but, then again, Harry had had to grow up too fast, hadn't he? Harry eventually let go of him, and Severus inclined his head.

"Thank you, Harry. That…means more to me than you know." Snape was cut off by the chiming of his grandfather clock and was shocked at the hour. "I fear I have kept you too long. I am shocked there has not been a rescue party sent yet. You should head back to your dorm now." Harry was actually sad to go; he had learned so much and had a great time. But, he stood and smiled at the Potion's Professor.

"Hermione, probably held them off. I was…nervous to come tonight. I'll be honest, but she really wanted me to come. She said she thought it'd be really good for me. She was right." Severus smiled at his ward and stood to walk him to the door.

"Seeing as this night was such a success, would you consider continuing this and making it a weekly occasion?" Harry beamed at the man.

"Really, Sir? Could we?" Harry cleared his throat and tried to stop himself from jumping for joy. "I mean, I'd really like that, if you wouldn't be opposed." Snape bit his tongue to keep from laughing. Harry was…definitely something.

"Not at all. I'll see you next Tuesday for class, and then again on Friday. Goodnight, Harry." The young man smiled at him.

"Goodnight, Sir, and thank you." Severus watched him go and sent a silent prayer up to Lily, thanking her for allowing him to be a part of Harry's life.

So the first dinner with Snape seemed to go pretty well. :) Do you think he'd make a good guardian?

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