Chapter 6
That evening Helen once again found Jack in James' old library but this time he wasn't alone. The two chairs that usually flanked the fireplace had been pulled together and Ianto sat on the other one. From where they were they couldn't see her and she took the opportunity to observe them.
Both men were broken, that much she knew. Owen had confided his belief that Ianto had PTSD and she was fairly certain that Jack did too, and it was debatable who's was worse. Helen thought that maybe Jack just had more experience at dealing with it.
Both had been through terrible ordeals. For Ianto it wasn't just the Tower, there had been something else, something more. Ashley had told her that Ianto had talked to her, giving her hope that she might get her father back from the creature that possessed him. He told her he'd lost his girlfriend, that there had been no hope for Lisa. Something had happened to her and based on what Owen had said, and not said, Lisa had been upgraded. Or maybe only partly? Helen might be curious but she knew that sometimes it was better to leave the past alone.
Jack she knew more about, everything he had suffered in the past and more recently had impacted him. He had lost so many that he now feared to lose anyone, demonstrated more acutely in what had happened with Owen. Jack understood that he would eventually lose everyone but that didn't mean he wanted it to happen a moment before it absolutely had to. He had no fear of death for himself or regard for his own safety but he was always worried for everyone else, in that regard he and Ianto were very much alike, caring for everyone but themselves.
Seeing them together though, Helen didn't see two broken men because they helped heal each other. Both suffered from nightmares but they soothed each other when they needed to. Ianto was good for Jack and it had been a while since Helen had seen Jack allow anyone to take care of him. Ianto she didn't know as well but she suspected that Jack was good for him as well since by his own doctor's report he was one of only five survivors to recover to the point of living 'normal' lives.
Suddenly Jack turned round. "Ah Helen, join us for a drink?"
Helen smiled. "If I wouldn't be intruding."
"Not at all." Ianto told her as he got up to get her a glass of brandy. "Jack pull up an extra chair." He ordered.
Jack glanced at Helen. "Which one of us is supposed to be the boss here?" He asked rhetorically as he pulled up the required chair next to his own.
"I think you answered your own question there Jack." Helen replied as she sat down. "Thank you Ianto." She added as she accepted the glass he handed her.
"So how are things going?" Jack asked.
"We'll be ready tomorrow afternoon." Helen told him. "I believe that you have people who want to be here?"
"Gwen and Martha." Jack told her. "Martha is also a former-Companion of the Doctor, she's worked with us before and she's been there since the start of Owen's case."
"She's also the one Jack contacted to get us to Egypt when we were chasing John." Ianto added.
"I will ask Ashley to bring them with her; she should be arriving tomorrow in time for lunch." Helen assured them, taking a sip of her drink. "I'm waiting final testing figures for the power source and the backup that we've created."
"Back up?" Jack asked with a frown.
Helen nodded. "If the ZMP you provided fails during the first critical stage then the device with switch to a backup power source and then the National Grid will not be very happy with either Torchwood or the Sanctuary Network."
"If they complain too much then I'll just remind them of that nice alien species that like to eat power lines." Jack said with a grin.
"What happened?" Ianto asked, obviously it had been before his time.
"Oh there was a series of power cuts across Cardiff because this little alien animal, about the size of a rabbit was eating the power lines." Jack explained. "And we went in a caught it, I just never told them that it died three years later, they think we still have it."
"And you'll release it if they cause trouble?" Helen smiled.
"Yes!" Jack said with a cheeky grin.
"You are so bad sometimes Jack." Helen said giving his shoulder a shove.
"Oh he is." Ianto agreed. "But we still put up with him." He added to his lover and squeezed his hand.
They talked for a while longer and then Helen suggested that they should consider going to bed at some point soon because that was what she planned to do and they wouldn't want to sleep through tomorrow's events would they?
"No mother." Jack said with a laugh.
"We'll be going to bed soon." Ianto assured her. "Because you're right and we should probably try to get as much sleep as we can while we have the chance because soon enough we'll be back in Cardiff and dealing with the Rift."
"Bed? yes." Jack agreed with a leer at Ianto. "Sleep? Maybe. Eventually"
"Jack!" Ianto protested. "Could you please leave me with some dignity at least?"
"Oh come on." Jack protested. "It's not like Helen doesn't know about the birds and the bees, or that we do it. She's the one who had a child out of wedlock, in the Victorian era no less!"
"And how many times did you get arrested for sodomy Jack?" Helen asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Not as often as I got beaten up for it?" Jack offered. "Working for Torchwood helped with the arrests; actually that was how I came to work for them."
Helen waved him off. "I've heard this one but it looks like Ianto hasn't so I'm off to bed, I'll see you both for breakfast."
"Good night Helen." Jack said.
"Good night." Ianto added and as soon as they were alone turned to Jack and raised an eyebrow.
"Pretty simple really." Jack told him. "Some drunken idiots decided I was gay, followed me out into an ally and told me in less than polite language what they thought of gay men. There was a fight and I got stabbed with a broken bottle and died." He frowned. "When I came to I was faced with the Bitches of Torchwood Three."
"Ah." Ianto said, remembering reading about them.
"Yeah, ironically they were going at it like rabbits and a man could be arrested or murdered." Jack shook his head. "Because our lovely founder didn't believe women would do that sort of thing. Which pretty much shows how much she didn't know."
Ianto laughed. "Jack were those laws passed before or after she met you?"
"I never met Queen Victoria." Jack protested.
"Really? Because you hitting on Prince Albert or one of their sons would explain a lot."
"Hey, I'm an equal opportunities kinda guy, I'd hit on her and her daughters too!"
Ianto laughed again. "You really are hopeless Jack, absolutely hopeless."
"But you love me anyway." The words were confident but there was something in the tone that made Ianto think Jack wasn't completely sure of the answer.
"But I love you anyway." Ianto assured him. "Even if you will flirt with just about everyone in the room."
"I never do more than flirt and it's always you I go home with." Jack protested.
"I know that." Ianto told him, even if he was sometimes annoyed by said flirting it was such a part of Jack that he couldn't deny it him. Hell it was pretty much how Jack said hello and the day he didn't flirt with someone was the day that Ianto would know there was something seriously wrong. "But if you come with me now you could remind me?"
"I like the way your mind works Mr Jones." Jack said with a smirk.
Ianto set his empty glass down on the table and stood up. He held out his hand to Jack. "Is that a yes?"
Jack downed the liquid left in his glass and set it on the table next to Ianto's. He then accepted Ianto's hand and allowed the Welshman to pull him to his feet but instead of releasing his hand he used it to pull Ianto into his arms and kissed him.
Ianto allowed the kiss for a while but when Jack's hands started to stray to more private areas he squirmed out of the other man's grip. "No Jack, bed first." He insisted which caused Jack to pout. "No, I mean it, anyone could walk in on us here."
"Anyone could walk in on us in the Hub." Jack pointed out as he tried to pull Ianto back into his arms.
"There's a difference between the Hub and here, this isn't our base and I am not having sex with you in your old friend's library." Ianto grabbed Jack's hand and pulled him towards the door. "The sooner we get to our room." He didn't need to finish the sentence since a very eager Jack had moved past him and was now pulling Ianto down the corridor.
*"*"*
The next morning all of the Torchwood staff at the London Sanctuary were subdued, they all knew what the afternoon would bring. Strangely enough Owen was the one acting closest to normal, he was assisting the London Sanctuary's doctor with his duties but that was mostly because he was trying to keep his mind off things and pretend everything was 'normal'.
Just before lunch Ashley teleported herself, Gwen and Martha to London leaving Henry to monitor the Rift, Martha borrowed two soldiers from UNIT that she trusted and left them with Henry in case he needed some extra pairs of hands.
They were met in the main entrance hall by the Torchwood Team, Helen, John and Declan. While Gwen greeted her team Ashley pulled Martha over to her parents. "This is Doctor Martha Jones, currently with UNIT. Martha this is my mom Doctor Helen Magnus and my father John Druitt."
"A pleasure Doctor Jones." John said with a nod of his head.
But it was Helen who was more enthusiastic. "Doctor Jones, Owen and Jack have both spoken very highly of you and I am always eager to meet enquiring young minds, especially a fellow doctor."
"It's a real honour Doctor Magnus." Martha said with a blush. "And you as well Mr Druitt." She added not wanting him to think she was ignoring him because she wasn't but she was a little shocked that the second best dressed man in the room had once been Jack the Ripper.
"Would you like to come down to the lab?" Helen offered. "You can see what we have set up for this afternoon."
"Of course I would." Martha agreed quickly then she noticed Declan still standing behind the couple. "Hello again Declan, how have you been?" They'd met a few days earlier in Cardiff, Martha had just arrived to temporarily take over as the Torchwood medic and Declan and his team were finishing up their part of the clean-up operation.
"Ready to get all these nutters out of my Sanctuary." He told her. "I hope things have been going okay in Cardiff for you?"
"Yes but I think my husband is starting to wonder if I'm ever coming home."
"Well just to warn you, Tesla is down in the lab." Declan said. "So if you'll excuse me I plan to be somewhere else." And with that he headed off in the direction of his office.
"Ah, the infamous Nikola Tesla." Martha said with a nod. "I've heard a lot about him."
"And if it came from Jack very little will have been good." John said. "If you doctors are going to the lab try and remember that lunch is in half an hour."
"We'll be up for lunch John." Helen assured him as she guided Martha in the direction of the lab.
*"*"*
The Sanctuary and Torchwood teams were finishing their lunch when John noted that Helen and Martha had not appeared. With a sigh he made them sandwiches, Ianto's coffee for Martha and tea for Helen then teleported to the lab. "So you made it to lunch I see." John commented as he appeared.
Helen, Martha, Owen and Tesla were all crowded around a bank of computer screens and they all jumped when he spoke. Helen turned and saw him. "I didn't realise it was so late." She admitted.
"This is what I mean about remembering the time." John told them as he put the sandwiches within reach. "Nikola there's food for you but if you want a drink get it yourself."
"Helen's got you quite domesticated hasn't she Johnny-boy?" Tesla asked with a smirk.
"A small price to pay to be with her." John replied, if Tesla was going to get insulting then he was more than happy to rub in the fact that Helen was with him not Tesla.
"Not now gentlemen." Helen reprimanded them and both looked down like naughty school boys, proving that Helen had both of them at least rather well trained. "Thank you for the sandwiches John." She added as she picked one up, Martha hadn't bothered waiting but Tesla waited until she had started eating before also digging in.
As the only one not eating Owen filled John in on where they were up to. "We're pretty much ready here." He told him. "All the energy reading are looking as good as we're going to get and it's not like my physical condition is going to change anytime soon, or if it does it's not going to get any better."
"I will tell you team." John told him. "Shall I have them come down in half and hour? Give the good doctors and Tesla time to eat."
"That sounds good." Owen agreed. "But can you ask Tosh to meet me in the library first? I need to talk to her."
John wasn't stupid, he knew that Owen cared for Tosh, quite possibly loved her, and that this could be the last chance they had. There was no guarantee that the machine would do what they hoped; it would either change him into a vampire, kill him or, and john had heard Owen call this the worst outcome, do nothing at all. "Immediately?"
"When she'd finished lunch." Owen corrected.
"They were finishing lunch when I came down and I believe Mr Jones was working his magic with the coffee machine again."
"Then tell her to finish her coffee first." Owen told him. "God I'm looking forward a coffee!" He shook his head. "Tell her I'll be waiting for her." John bowed slightly and teleported away. "Wish he wouldn't do that." Owen muttered to himself. He glanced towards the others and Helen nodded, indicating she'd heard. Owen nodded in return and headed towards the library.
*"*"*
The London Sanctuary library as large than the one at Magnus' Sanctuary, which Owen though was to be expected since it was the older of the two. While he'd being in London he'd passed several of his nights there, immersed in books about Abnormals and trying to take his mind off his own situation and possible future. He'd also made some notes that he'd like to compare with Helen and Jack about some reports of supposed Abnormals in the older journals that he suspected were actually aliens.
He'd also spent a fair few hours staring into space and thinking, primarily about Tosh.
She'd already being working for Torchwood when he started but she was so quiet most of the time that he'd hardly noticed she was there. Unless there was an emergency it was often hard to get her to speak much above a whisper in those early days and he was determined that one day he'd find out why. He'd asked Jack about it but the Captain had said it wasn't his place to tell, however the way Tosh acted made Owen think she'd suffered some sort of abuse at the hands of someone.
He'd meant to ask her about it sometime but in the end he never had. Now he might have only half an hour left to exist and there wasn't enough time any more. What he'd had a chance to do was watch over the four years he'd known her was watch Tosh open up and grow into a woman who, while still quiet, no longer tried to hide from people and would make sure she was heard in an argument.
After Katie he'd closed himself off from love; he'd slept with Susie and Gwen but that was about the physical not the emotional. Several hours contemplating the subject had made Owen realise that what he'd felt for Diane was lust and infatuation, and that he'd being so broken by her leaving because she'd reminded him of Katie. The Katie he had fallen in love with and planned to marry, before the alien had destroyed everything that she was and finally killed her. When Diane had left it had felt almost like losing Katie all over again, only this time by her choice. That was what had driven him into that Weevil pit.
"Owen?" He turned to see Tosh standing behind him. "Druitt said you wanted to see me?" She looked nervous, her fingers toying with the hem of her shirt and a small hesitant smile on her lips.
"I do." He gestured towards the sofa he was standing next to and then sat down next to her. Her hands were resting on her lap and Owen took both of them in his own and then a deep breath, breathing might be unnecessary for anything but speaking, still he'd found a deep breath helped steady his nerves. It was probably a psychological thing.
"Tosh, you know there's a chance that this could either not work or kill me permanently."
"Owen." Tosh tried to speak but he interrupted her.
"No it's true and we both know it, but it's not like I haven't faced this before yeah?" He tried to give her a confident smiled but knew that she'd see through it. "The thing is there so much I still want to do or say and I might not have the time anymore." He looked her in the eye. "So much to do with you.
"And like I said there isn't the time now and there might never be but I do want to explain something to you Tosh, something that I know has hurt you." Owen squeezed her hands. "You know what happened to my fiancée right?" She nodded. "Well after that I swore I wasn't going to fall in love again because all it did was hurt, I lost more and more of Katie every day until the alien finished it and killed her. I couldn't stand feeling like that again so I decided that I wouldn't fall in love again, simple as that."
"But what about Diane?" Tosh asked.
"I've realised in the last few days that Diane reminded me of the Katie I first fell in love with; strong, independent and ready to take on the world. What I felt for Diane was lust and a reflection of what I'd felt for Katie. That's all. And when Diane left into the Rift I felt like I'd lost Katie again, this time by her own choice, do you understand what I mean?"
"Yes."
Owen squeezed her hands again. "This is the part that might hurt, do you know why I slept with Gwen and Susie but not you?" He asked softly. Tosh bit her lip and looked away. "It's not what you're thinking Toshiko." He assured her. "With them it was a bit of fun, empty lust nothing more and the reason I never tried to sleep with you is because I knew it wouldn't be that with you."
Tosh looked up then and Owen saw the beginnings of hope in her eyes. He smiled at her. "I'd sworn not to fall in love again and there was no risk of that with them. Susie wasn't looking for love any more than I was. And Gwen had Rhys and her lust for Jack so there was no danger there either. But you Tosh." One of his hands let go of hers and reached up to cup her cheek. "With you there was every chance that I could fall in love again, so I kept away and tried to keep you at arm's length, using sarcasm to try and stop you falling in love with me either. But it didn't work, did it?"
Tosh shook her head.
"And by the time I realised that I'd fallen in love with you, it was too late." Tosh reached over and put her hand over the bullet hole in his chest, the one that went right through his heart. "Yeah that, when you were so determined to try and help me even though I didn't want it, that was when I realised that I liked that you were trying, that you kept trying." His free hand pulled hers away from his chest and held it.
"Even when you were screaming at me to go away because you were broken?" Confusion and hope in her voice and face.
"Even then." Owen shrugged. "I've been broken for years Tosh."
"I always wanted to help." Tosh admitted softly. "To try and make you better, but it took me years to get the courage to do anything about it. And when I finally did, you died." She had tears in her eyes. "And I thought I'd never have the chance. But then you came back and things just carried on as they always had been. I thought you just never noticed me."
Owen pulled Tosh so that she was leaning against him. Normally he tried to avoid close physical contact with people since his body was clinically dead and in his mind it was just creepy. But when Tosh started crying he knew that she needed this and she wouldn't mind that he wasn't breathing, didn't have a heartbeat and that his body was as cool as the room they were sat in.
"I always noticed you Toshiko." He whispered into her hair. "From the day I started at Torchwood. You were this quiet little technician, almost hiding behind your computers all day and I knew you'd being hurt so badly by something." He stroked her hair. "I always wanted to ask who'd hurt you that badly, then then to beat them into a bloody pulp for it."
Tosh laughed a little shakily. "It doesn't matter, Jack saved me from it."
"Yeah he told me that." Owen admitted, though Jack hadn't said 'saved' he'd said 'got her out', which made Owen all kinds of suspicious. "But he never told me what it was, I meant to ask but I couldn't see how to do it without letting you get closer to me. And the closer you got the more I risked falling for you."
Tosh pulled away and wiped her eyes. "Make it through today and I'll tell you?"
"Deal." Owen glanced at the clock on the wall and sighed. "We need to head to the lab." He stood and offered her his hand to pull her to her feet and then into his arms. Finally he couldn't resist the temptation she posed and he kissed her.
Owen knew he shouldn't do it, that there was something faintly disturbing about kissing her when he was, to all intents and purposes, dead. But if he was going into the darkness that had followed his first death then this was the memory he wanted to take with him.
Knowing that Tosh at least needed to breath he finally pulled back. Thankfully she didn't look at all disgusted at him, and she certainly hadn't objected while he was kissing her. "No mistletoe needed this time." He joked, reminding her about the Christmas he'd kissed her on the Plas because she had mistletoe, or so she said because he'd been so drunk that night that he, unfortunately, couldn't remember any of it.
She laughed, and if it sounded a little shaky and forced they both ignored that.
"I make it through this and how about that drink and game of pool?" He smiled. "Hell I'll make it dinner and a movie if you like."
"How about dinner and a show?" Tosh suggested. "Otherwise Jack might think you're stealing dating ideas from him."
"Jack Harkness dating, now there's a scary idea."
"Ianto doesn't seem to mind." Tosh told him with a smile.
"I'd rather not know what the Captain and Tea Boy get up to afterhours thank you very much." Owen protested. "And you can keep the CCTV footage that I know you have to yourself Miss Sato." He tapped the end of her nose playfully and she laughed.
They were putting off leaving and they both knew it and also knew that they couldn't put it off forever, so Owen took a small step back from Tosh and then took her hand and they left the library together.
They didn't speak on the way to the lab. They didn't have the time to say everything they wanted to but they'd already said what they needed to say.
When they reached the lab everyone else was waiting for them. Magnus, Martha and Tesla were standing with the equipment they'd prepared. Ashley and her father were standing off to one side, out of the way but still present since they both felt that they owed Owen a lot and so should be there.
Owen led Tosh over to where the rest of their team was gathered. He let go of her hand and pulled Gwen into a hug. "Be careful." He whispered to her. He knew that this might be his last chance to say goodbye. He hoped it wasn't but he was also a pessimist and believed in planning for the worst even while he wanted the best.
Gwen pulled away and nodded once, biting her lip. Owen turned his attention to Ianto, the two of them were just about as opposite as possible and during Ianto's first year at Cardiff, particularly after Lisa, Owen hadn't exactly been nice to the younger man. Hell he didn't trust anyone from One and the Cyber conversion unit in the basement seemed to prove that.
While Jack had been gone Owen had got to know the younger man better and realised that he was a decent guy. Been dead had provided Owen with far too much time to think and he realised that what Ianto had done for Lisa had been similar to what he'd done for Katie. He'd kept pushing for more tests, searching for a reason he was losing the woman he loved. Ianto had lost all his friends to One, been through a traumatic experience and then tried desperately to save the woman he loved.
If their positions had been reversed and Owen had found Katie half converted and screaming in pain he couldn't say that he wouldn't have done exactly the same thing that Ianto had. Minus the sleeping with Jack part.
To the Welshman's surprise Owen hugged him. "If the worse happens take care of Tosh, yeah?"
"You know I will." Ianto told him solemnly.
"And take care of yourself too Tea Boy." Owen added. "You look after everyone but yourself."
"I'll make sure he does." Jack put in. "Do I get a hug?"
"Not sure that's a good idea Captain." Owen remarked. "I wouldn't want you getting ideas."
"Come here." Jack didn't give him the option and pulled him into a hug.
When Owen finally managed to extract himself from Jack he turned back to Tosh. He gave her a final hug and a kiss on the forehead before gently pushing her into Ianto's arms. The Welshman kept and arm around her but moved her into the gap between him and Jack. Jack wrapped his arm around the both of them and pulled Gwen under his other arm.
Owen nodded once and then turned to Helen and Martha. "I'm ready." He told them.
"Are you sure Owen?" Martha's medical ethics required her to ask him a final time, to hear from him directly that he understood what could happen and still wanted this. "It could kill you."
"I'm sure Martha." Owen told her as he sat on the bed that they'd set up. "I'd rather it was quick than a long drawn out affair as the radiation decomposes my body." He heard a soft sob he was sure was from Tosh. "Easier for everyone I think." Now he was sure Tosh was crying though she was trying to keep it quiet.
"Alright then." Martha nodded. "Take off your shirt and lie back." She instructed as Helen prepared several injections. "We've decided to do this in two stages." Martha continued for the benefit of the rest of the room, Owen already knew the plan since he'd helped devise it. "Tesla never tried the procedure on some who'd been dead this long, though the lack of decomposition is identical to cases where it worked."
"We're combining both of my methods for producing vampires." Tesla took over. "If one doesn't work then the other should." He added with a shrug.
"If the first stage works then we're going to wait twenty-four hours before using the de-vamper to make Owen human again." Somehow she managed to avoid sniggering over the name. "That should be long enough for his body to fully heal from the injuries, radiation and any other changes that his current state has caused."
Helen stepped up to his side. "Are you ready for the injections Owen?" He nodded.
"The injections are based on what Tesla used on the teenage drug addicts that he managed to turn into vampire." Martha explained while Helen administered them. "The next part is based on the method that Tesla used to make mindless vampires from corpses."
"Wonderful." Owen muttered to himself.
"Your turn Nikola." Helen said turn to the former vampire who stepped up and placed the two prongs of the device that would deliver the electrical charge against Owen's sternum. Then he opened a sound mall vial of blood and poured it into the gunshot wound on his chest.
"Now this may sting a little." Tesla told him and flipped the switch.
AN: I'm still alive and on honour of having submitted my dissertation I present you with a new chapter! Just one more assignment to go and my degree is done! But don't worry, still a few more chapters to go in this fic and remember that reviews remind me to update!