Niles
When I was sick, I didn't think such pain existed. It does, and this one doesn't wear off. I'm in pain all the time.
And so the weeks went by. After our ordeal at Nervosa, Daphne started seeing Joe again and that kept her occupied for months. They where always together when I was around. Holding hands, kissing... It was like someone was showing me that me and Daphne where not meant to be. And it was killing me. They broke up when the autumn came, but still, she showed no interest in me. None at all.
At around that time, I made one last pathetic attempt to date another woman. Like I could have expected, it ended in disaster. Her name was Adelle, and the reason I even went out with her in the first place was because Daphne was on the rebound from Joe, and started dating some silly lookalike of me. I thought it was all too ironic. She didn't. She just went along with it. Making out with that Rodney chap right in front of my eyes. And she would look at me, while I'm there on the couch with them, hugging my bottle of wine like there is no tomorrow. And she would smile. A smile of joy. A smile of triumph. Her eyes glistening, staring at me, mocking me, silently asking "don't you wish it where you instead?" I do. It's like she's a different person, like I don't know her any more. Like she's changed into this... bitch. She's hurt me plenty of times through the years, but I've never known her to be cruel. It's almost as if she wants this, as if she wants to hurt me.
But no, what am I saying. Daphne has never been mean to me before. It must be something else, It's a phase, or I must be imagining things because she's an angel, she'll always be my Goddess and she is innocent and pure. Can't she see how much I want her? I need her so much! Why is she doing this to me? I love you Daphne. I love you!
Oh, Niles, get a hold of yourself. There will be other fish in the sea. Not Adelle, however. Knowing my luck, I should have known that Adelle ran off with that lookalike bastard. Oh well. It got him out of the picture. It stopped the sick games I imagined Daphne to be playing. It stopped my paranoia.
So here we are, we are both single, or separated in my case, but in the end it made no difference. None at all. Here I am alone again, drinking again, like the loser that I am. My eyes are wet from crying. Not over Adelle, but over Daphne. The longer I think of it, the less crazy my thoughts seem to be. There really is something that has changed in her. I now Roz has noticed. I've seen her drag Daphne to the kitchen whenever she was putting up one of her acts for me. I heard them fight. Daphne doesn't see Roz that often anymore.
Daphne's behavior towards me actually makes me yearn for Maris. Maybe it's the time we spent apart in the last couple of years, but Daphne's behavior makes the memories of my stranded marriage seem... sweeter. Some time after the incident with Adelle, I decided I wanted to call Maris. It was spring again, and you know how that makes me feel. If I can still feel at all with this all-consuming emptiness that has engulfed me.
I've completely given up on Daphne and I have been avoiding her for weeks. Hell, I have been avoiding my entire family. I don't want to talk about this ordeal with Frasier, thank you! The last time I saw my brother, he had lured me over to his radio station to read a part for this story he had written. "Nightmare Inn" or something. Well, it was a nightmare for sure. Turns out I had t read all the parts! For him to use me like that... This makes me me crave for all those nights of terror in Maris' mansion. So no, I will not go to my brother, let him come to me! Besides, he'll only think I'm a randy ninny that needs his brother's shoulder to cry on because I can't get laid. This isn't just about sex. This is about me feeling dead inside!
And so I spent my evenings emptying my precious wine cellar. I think I have a predisposition for addiction, because I can't seem to drink enough lately. I just want someone I can hold, even though with Maris I might just as well hug my own shoulders. I want someone to take away my pain. So one balmy spring night, I call her. The phone rings. and rings. And rings. Of course. It's late april. She's always at the spa at this time of the year. After a few more rings I get her answering machine. I stay silent. I seemed to have completely forgotten why I'm doing this in the first place. But I know she'll read my number off the machine and she might think I'm stalking her or something. So I leave a message.
"Maris? Give me a call, will you?"
TBC