I wake up to the smell of cheese buns, it takes my brain a moment to process, then I remember Peeta slept over. The kiss. I push the thought from my mind as I rub the sleep from my eyes. I climb out of bed, not bothering to change out of my sleepwear, and walk to the kitchen. I'm greeted by a platter of Cheese buns. Peeta has his back to me while he tends to something on the stove. I reach for a cheese bun as Peeta turns around,when he sees me he gasps and jumps.
"Holy shit you scared me," Peeta says, I laugh as he places a stack of pancakes in front of me.
"So much for eating less this year," I say taking a bite, "You're gonna make me fat,"
"Hey I'm just making you breakfast like I promised," Peeta says.
"You're right," I say
After that we fall into an awkward silence and I can tell he's thinking of last night, and I know he wants to talk about it. Whatever "it" is. If I'm being honest, all I really feel is confused. We kissed. I kinda liked it. But I also don't know what to think of it.
"Are we gonna talk about it?" Peeta asks
"Talk about what?" I ask, feigning ignorance
"You know what I'm talking about," Peeta says, "Last night"
"What happened last night?" I ask trying to stall
"Katniss..." Peeta says, sounding slightly annoyed.
"What is there to talk about?!" I say keeping my eyes trained on my food, "I really think there's nothing to talk about,"
"What, so you're just gonna pretend it never happened?!" Peeta asks. I don't know what to respond seeing as a part of me wants to do exactly that. Peeta scoffs. "Are you planning on saying anything?!"
"I don't know what to say!" I say,
"Damn it, will you at least look at me?!" Peeta asks
"What do you expect me to say?!" I practically shout, finally looking at him,"I don't know what to tell you!"
"Did that kiss mean anything to you?" Peeta asks, I open my mouth, then close it again, I don't know how to answer that. He scoffs, "Did you feel anything?"
I don't know how to answer because I don't know how I feel, that's the honest answer but why can't I just say it? My silence is probably making it worse, he's probably getting the wrong idea and taking it wrong.
"Were you just planning to string me along until you finally decided whether or not you want me?" Peeta asks, "You can be so confusing sometimes! You flirt with me, you ask me to stay, you kiss me then you want to forget it ever happened until you decide what you want, not caring what you're doing to me Katniss!"
What he says angers me, even though I know he's right.
"I'm sorry! okay?!"
Peeta scoffs, "okay, the ball is in your court now," He says, and he starts to walk away, "give me a call when can actually give me an answer," he says walking away, and I can here the hurt in his voice.
"Peeta," I call after him, he pauses and turns,raising an eyebrow "I-" but the words falter me. I see the hurt in his eyes as he turns and walks out, this time, not turning back.
"Wait a minute? You guys kissed?" Johanna asks
"Yes," I say impatiently. We're sitting in my living room as I tell her everything that's happened. As I tell her the story, her face turns from shock, to disbelief.
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"I didn't know what to say,"
"How do you feel?"
"I don't know!"
"You can't be that clueless! Even we see it,"
"See what?"
"The connection. The way you guys look at each other, it's small but noticeable things, you're always smiling when you're around him and you guys are constantly messing around,"
"We're friends,"
"Yeah, but there's a difference you guys have been crossing the line that marks 'being friendly' and 'flirting' and we all see it,"
"Are you saying Peeta has feelings for me?"
"I'm saying you need to figure out what you feel before you hurt him,"
"I think I already did,"
"Then figure out what you're feeling,"
"I don't know how to do that,"
"Start small. How do you feel when he's around you?"
"Um...happy...at ease...something else I can't describe..."
"okay... what made you ask him to stay?"
"um...I didn't want him to leave,"
"What made you kiss him?"
"I don't know," I say
"Well, it sounds like you've got some serious thinking to do,"
It's been a week and Peeta still hasn't talked to me, well to be fair, I haven't tried to reach out to him. I'm not sure what I feel to I've tried listing the facts.
I kissed Peeta.
I liked it.
I like being around him.
I don't like this 'not talking' thing.
I wish he wasn't mad at me.
I get this fluttery feeling when I'm around him.
I don't understand the feeling.
Why should I have to rush to figure out my feelings? I don't need him. Why does this have to be so complicated? If I try to talk to him, I know it's going to pick up where we left off. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to think about it. Then it hits me, how many times I've used I. And I remember what Peeta said. You can be so confusing sometimes! You flirt with me, you ask me to stay, you kiss me then you want to forget it ever happened until you decide what you want, not caring what you're doing to me Katniss! I know he's right, and I don't like it. There's that I again. I've been so focused on me and I didn't realize what it's been doing to Peeta. I hate this. I'm a grown woman, why am I having this much trouble?
~PEETA~
I pull up in front of the elementary school that I'm volunteering in. It's about a half an hour out of town with traffic, but it's in a less fortunate area. The school isn't in perfect condition but it isn't ancient either. I open the trunk of my car and pull out the art supplies I brought with me. There's only five classrooms, one for each grade, but the teachers love the students and try to make the best out of what they've got. The school has been all over the news lately, they're working to get donations to help improve the school. I volunteered to come teach an art class to the kids in the school, I'd spend 45 minutes in each classroom, doing some art with the kids.
I walk into the classroom marked 1st Grade, and I'm greeted by toothy smiles. It looks like the kids are excited for the art class. The teacher walks over to me with a smile. I notice a cameraman behind her.
"I hope you don't mind us recording your sessions," The teacher says, "We think it might help people see what we're trying to give the students,"
"Not at all," I say
"Great!" and I can tell she looks relieved, "My name is Miss Jamie,"
"Peeta Mellark," I say as we shake hands. She looks to be in her early twenties, light brown hair in a messy bun, jeans, and a loose floral top.
"Alright let me introduce you to the cameraman," Miss Jamie says. I follow her to the cameraman, he explains that he will be recording live and after they're done, they'll make in into an edit to show at a fundraiser along with other film they've captured.
I set my art supplies on the desk and turn to face the students, they really do look excited for this, either it's the art class or being on camera.
"Alright class, this is , he's going to be doing some art with you," Miss Jamie says
"You guys can call me Peeta," I say, " sounds too much like my dad," The class laughs. One of the first graders raises their hands.
"Yes Alex?" Miss Jamie says to the boy
"I have a question for him," Alex says then he turns to me, "How do you say your name?"
I chuckle, "I get this question a lot, It's like the bread Pita but no 'I', it's two 'e's instead. So like pEEta," I say
"Okay," The little boy says.
"Is everyone excited?!" I call out into the class
"Yeah!" I hear back, with a smile, I begin to take out the paint and paint brushes. There's two kids at each desk so I pass around two paint brushes and a set of paint at each desk, then I handout the paper. Since they're first graders, they won't really know much on drawing to I tell them to let their imagination lead them. I walk around the classroom helping them and giving them instructions. It makes me happy to see how much fun they're having.
I stop walking at one desk where is girl is getting frustrated because her flower isn't coming out right. I crouch down next to her and ask her what's wrong.
"It's not working," she says stubbornly, her face turning into a scowl as she blows a piece of stray hair away from her eyes. I smile, remembering how Katniss does something similar to that when she starts to get frustrated.
"What's your name?" I ask her
"Katie," She responds shyly
"Can I help you Katie?" I ask her softly, she nods. I take a spare paintbrush and piece of paper out of my bag, I dip the brush in paint. I show her step by step how to paint a simple flower. When she's done, she's absolutely beaming at her work of art, clearly excited to have done it right. She jumps up and down in excitement.
"Look Peeta I did it!" She says pointing at her flower.
"Yeah you did! Great job!" I say
"Thank you!" She says and throws her arms around me in a tight hug.
"I can't wait to show Josh!" Katie says
"Who's Josh?" I ask her
"My brother, he's in grade 5" Katie says
"I'm sure he is going to love it," I say
I've just finished with the grade 5 class and I'm walking out when it happens.
The fire alarm rings, it's a shrill yet effective noise.
An instinct clicks in, I drop the art supplies and open the door of the nearest classroom, the Grade 2 room, the teacher is trying to get them in single file. I see the fear and confusion in every child's face.
I walk over to the teacher, "We need to get all of the children out now!"
~KATNISS~
I was watching the live stream of Peeta helping the students, and I jumped when I heard the siren. I looked down at my laptop, confused, then it clicked in.
A fire alarm.
I watch as the view swithes to the camera in the cameraman's suit. He runs into a classroom and I watch as he tries to get kids out, then I see a man run past, going into another classroom, I recognize the blonde.
Peeta!
Johanna meets me in front of the apartment building with her motorcycle, it's our fastest way to beat the traffic.
~PEETA~
I run out of the school over to the area where all of the teachers and students are gathered. The teachers are doing a headcount to make sure everyone is there. I ask around the teachers, making sure everyone is here. I've just gotten to the last teacher when a high pitched scream catches my attention. It came from the, still ablaze school.
"I'm missing three first graders!" Miss Jamie cries
"Katie!" I see Josh pushing through the students, calling out, "Katie where are you?"
~KATNISS~
Johanna pulls up in front of the school. I jump off and take off running to the school. I see Peeta take off running back into the school,
"PEETA!" I shout running after him
A/N yup, I went there. Sorry to leave you guys on a cliffhanger, but you guys should learn by now that I don't like to make things too easy on them.