I'm so sorry it took me so long. I hope the wait would be worth it. ENJOY!
Notes: All mistakes are mine.
Lily's Christmas party… well, it certainly became a day to remember. If Blair could describe it, how would she describe it? Just thinking about it, made her head ache! Everything just went plain wrong.
It began with the food. Normally, Blair genuinely loves the delicious food Lily's cater service does for Christmas (not that she will ever admit to it, or somehow Dorota could find out), and every year they excel themselves. But this year, everything tasted dry, the cake even tasted very sour. She even had a mid panic attack because she thought she was getting sick, luckily Chuck was around to check her head for notice of a fever, because if her mother even suspected Blair had a fever…
No. Now that she got back at it, Chuck being near her when she wanted someone to check she was all right seemed to be the only lucky time of that night. And not even that, anyone else could have done it. It went spiral down from there. Somehow, Chuck just wouldn't leave her alone. It wasn't that bad but she started to get annoyed really quick. Blair needed her personal space.
She tried to be subtle, she tried to engage in conversation with Rufus and Aaron who were talking something about London; she couldn't even concentrate with Chuck's breathe literally centimeters away from her. Did nobody notice at all?
She subsequently moved to another conversation, one between Lily, Eleanor, and Anne Archibald; who was also invited.
"It's so sad Nate couldn't join us today, Anne." Lily told poor Anne, who looked unhappy but wanted to show a brave face, it was really sad, Blair thought.
"I know, and the worst is that he was coming home, this time, but something urgent came in my father's office and just…" Anne said a bit loud, which was the closest she had been to yelling in a desperate manner in all her life, "I guess work is really important to him. That at least makes me proud."
"But family is first." Eleanor said.
Her mother didn't get it at all. Blair loved her mother, but Eleanor could sometimes be very insensitive, she never meant it of course, but it didn't change the fact that sometimes her words hurt other people. For example, Blair was sure that Eleanor's comment, which surely was very innocently said out in the open, hurt Anne Archibald deeply because in her head, it made it seem like her son didn't care about her at all. Or at least enough for him to visit her in Christmas, specially knowing how lonely Anne was. She did got divorced about five years ago, so Nate Archibald is obviously very missed by her.
She was in the middle of her thoughts while trying to look engaged enough in the ongoing conversation around her when Chuck interrupted her, quite abruptly; just to tell her he wanted to talk with her in private.
"Not now, Chuck." Blair inhaled, "Christmas is about family and I hardly see mine so I want to know what they have to say, I want to be with them as much as possible. Do you understand?"
"Of Course, Blair. You need say no more."
Blair almost believed that was the end of it, but this was not going to be a holy night at all. Next thing she knew, Chuck wanted to join the conversation. That just will not do, Blair told herself. She waited long enough for Chuck to engage properly in dialogue between her mother, Anne and Lily, and then she excused herself. "He will surely not follow me now."
And she was right, for five minutes at least. Then Chuck was next to her, "I just wanted to ask you if you were doing fine? You seemed in such a hurry just a moment ago, are you feeling fine? Do you think you have a fever?"
"No, of course not." Blair said, "And don't say fever that loud, you know how my mom gets." And then she tried talking to Dan, in private, she told Chuck and even then, he wouldn't leave her alone.
"She did say in private, Chuck" Dan stated. "Please respect her whishes."
Looking defeated, he finally leaved. And Blair really believed she hadn't felt this happy in her entire life. Giving him a quick glance, she noticed that he went and tried to engage in conversation with Rufus and Aaron.
"So what was so urgent and secretive that you needed to discuss with me in private?" Dan asked suddenly catching her attention.
"Nothing" Blair said as if it was obvious. "I just wanted to get rid of Chuck."
"Well, you didn't need me for that; you could have just told him that you needed space."
"I know, you're right. I just didn't want to hurt his feelings."
"Blair, there are no feelings to be hurt in this. You just don't want him near you; you could have just told him that, simple."
"Ok, is not that simple."
"Are you two still fighting? " Jenny, who just came to join them, asked.
"Your bother is trying to lecture me. I will not tolerate it." Blair said.
"What? When? I'm not lecturing you. Jenny, look, Chuck was following Blair around all evening and she didn't want him near her. Now, the obvious would be for Blair to just tell Chuck to leave her alone. But now, Blair would not that, and instead has a bad time at dinner, with Chuck following her every move."
"Really, Blair?" Jenny asked.
"Now you too?" Blair asked exasperated, "I am beginning to think you Humphreys have been hit with 'may-you-always-lecture-people-and-be-stubborn' curse."
"We do not" Jenny said with a smile, "But I think Dan has a point, you should have just told him to leave you alone, he was making you feel uncomfortable."
"It's not that simple." Blair stated again, "I didn't want him to feel bad, especially for Serena's sake."
"Why especially for Serena's sake?" Jenny asked and Dan looked at Blair in a curious way.
"Oh!" Blair exclaimed realizing she had said too much, "You know how Lily wants for her to stay in New York permanently. I just thought that if one member of her family was feeling uncomfortable, she would feel the bad vibe, as she says it, and you know, that could influence her decision of leaving or staying.
"That's reaching far too much, don't you think?" Jenny asked, "Anyway, I'm just saying that you should make your feelings known, especially if someone, anyone, is making you feel uncomfortable."
"Yeah, yeah." Blair said, partly calmed because she enjoyed far more her discussion with the Humphreys than the annoying silence with Chuck Bass.
Dan was still looking at her curiously and was probably about to say something when Lily announced It was time to open the presents.
"Are you going to tell me something?" Blair asked Dan when Jenny rapidly joined the others for 'present time'.
"No." Dan said simply. "Are you going to tell me something?"
"Should I tell you something?" Blair smiled. "I believe everything is settled between us now, isn't it Humphrey? No more fights? Agreed?" she asked trying to reach his hand for a hand shake.
"Are we always going to make a pact of 'no more fights' every time we see each other, because it seems rather pointless and takes away from the legitimacy of said pacts." Dan said with a hint of a smile, and shook her hand back. "But I agree, no more fights. At least not pointless ones."
"Settled then." Blair said, "Now come on, I want to open my gifts. Did you got me something good, Dan?"
"Of course," Dan said in a humorous tone, "I specifically bought you something of that 'gift ideas' list you not-so-casually left in my room the last time you visited the loft."
"Good." Blair smiled. "You did well."
Blair loved her gifts.
Eleanor and Cyrus gave her a diamond necklace and matching diamond earrings from Tiffany's ("You can use it with any of your dresses Blair, and you would always look beautiful and sophisticated." Eleanor said.) Rufus and Lily gave her a bottle of wine. She always enjoyed a good bottle of Pinot Noir. ("Oh, I remember one summer when me and dad traveled through Sonoma County and visited the Russian River Valley, you would love it Blair, it's an amazing viticulture area" exclaimed Serena. "California is not just sunny sunshine! It's so much more") Blair was certain Lily now regretted her gift. Jenny had gotten her a book about Audrey Hepburn she bought in London ("Oh Blair, I hope you like it; the person in the bookstore that sold it to me said it had exclusive photographs and everything!") And a hand-knitted jumper, of wool, made by her. ("Everyone in London wears them this time of year, Blair." Jenny said. "Now you can embrace your inner poshness; that we all know you have, freely." Aaron added, gaining a playful smack by Jenny). Then, Aaron gave her another book ("It's called, Luella's guide to English Style", so you can be a proper posh. Not only in appearance but in inner spirit." Aaron said between laughs, this time Jenny joined him. "Just plain ignore him Blair," she managed to say, "Aaron, be good to your sister." She told Aaron playfully and gave him a quick peck on the lips.)Serena gave her a bracelet. ("Your mother told me you loved Tiffany's and I thought a friendship bracelet was a good idea. I hope you don't find it tacky or something. I just really wanted to show you how much your friendship has meant to me, Blair. You are a very good person.") Blair would be lying if she didn't say she kind of tear-up. She didn't found the gift tacky at all, it was endearing. She would of course wear it. And finally, she loved her gift from Dan. But of course that came as no surprise, he did say he stuck to the gift ideas she choose. He got her "Charade" the only film of Audrey's that was available in The Criterion Collection. "A crime against humanity" she once told him when they were going through the whole catalogue online one afternoon when they had nothing better to do, "They should release all of them!". She was happy as it is, but Dan said he had also gotten her another gift, one he chose on his own. It was an art piece, a painting. ("It's by this up and coming artist," he said, "She was featured in Art Forum. I noticed you've been talking about being an art collector and starting your private collection, I figure this could be the first one. Who knows, maybe one day it would be worth millions.") She loved it, she truly really loved it.
It was times like this when Blair remembers why on earth Dan is her best friend. She sometimes kind of forgets it because they get into fights a lot; but when he does things like this, not buying her stuff, but remembering what she says and just putting it out casually. Like everyone just remembers what she says all the time. It's only him that remembers that stuff, but he doesn't make a big deal out of it, like he is such a good person for keeping it in mind.
Now, the best of presents came after Dan's second gift. It was just after the bliss of everyone opening their presents when "the moment" happened. Aaron proposed to Jenny! Right there, in the middle of the living room and everyone looking. Blair didn't even know how they got there; she reacted when Aaron was already on his knees. (Later, Jenny told her that they were in the middle of a conversation. They were still going on about the posh joke, except they had made it into something like "who was the one of them who had gotten the poshest since they moved to London" when he suddenly got in his knees and popped the question) apparently he couldn't wait anymore, Blair told herself. Aaron had confided in her, she knew he wanted to ask her in the presence of the family but, in the middle of a joke? In the middle of them teasing each other? Okay, yes it was terribly romantic. She didn't know Aaron had it in him.
Everyone cried. Jenny cried. Lily cried. Eleanor was crying ("And they are still going to live in London, aren't they?" she kept asking while she sobbed). Blair was sobbing as well and she swore, when she caught a glimpse of Dan, that he kind of was tearing-up as well.
He of course denied it when she asked him.
There is a rule of the universe. All that goes up comes down again. And this rule apparently applied to Blair and to this night in particular. She was practically in eternal bliss because Jenny was one step of being part of her family when something terrible happened. She was outside in the terrace with Serena; they were excitedly discussing the current events when Chuck joined them. Honestly, Blair almost forgot he was there.
"What do you want, Chuck?" Blair asked remembering Dan and Jenny's earlier advice.
"What a time for a celebration, right?" Chuck asked, "This very much feels like Christmas."
"Oh yes!" Serena exclaimed. "I hardly know Jenny and Aaron, but they seem so happy, SO right for each other."
"That is because they are." Blair stated.
"I respect Aaron's proposal." Chuck said, "I just had one complain, did he needed to ask her to marry him in front of all her family? Shouldn't that event be more private? Personally, it seemed kind of vulgar from his part"
"I don't think it was vulgar at all, Charles." Blair said angrily, if there was one thing that really got on her nerves, it was people getting offensive with her family. "I think it was terribly romantic, the proposal in front of everyone they love, it was very them."
"I suppose you are right." Chuck answered, "Speaking of, it seems you and Serena are very close now, yes?"
"I dare say we are." Serena answered. "We are very close friends, I think."
"We are, we are." Blair agreed.
"Well, Blair, I really think we should keep celebrating the good news, and even, I believe, create good news of our own." Chuck said rather seriously all of a sudden while he reached for something in his pocket, "You did say that you found romantic a proposal in front of family and friends. And you do love Serena so…"
"You gotta be kidding me," Blair said in a panicked voice.
"Blair Cornelia Waldorf," Oh my God, he was getting on one knee.
"You would make me the happiest, luckiest, man in the world…" there was probably still a chance for him to be proposing to Serena, right? Oh Serena, Blair thought, poor sweet Serena! What is Chuck thinking? She is just right here.
"…If you marry me." Chuck finished. "So what do you say? Do you want to be my wife?"
"No. No. NO!" Blair answered immediately. "This is all wrong, this is all wrong." She told herself. Meanwhile, Chuck who was at least sensible enough to get in his feet was looking at her like she was mad for not accepting his proposal. Seriously? They weren't even a couple. Heck, they were not even close friends. And next to her, Serena seemed to be in the middle of a breakdown. "Chuck, what? We barely interact! And when we do, is always for Serena's sake!"
"For Serena's sake?" She was seriously getting mad of being asked this question.
"Yes, for Serena's sake." Blair said pointing at Serena who was practically speechless. "Because you love her."
"I do not!" Chuck exclaimed. "Serena, you are beautiful. There is no doubt there." He said looking at Serena now, "But I do not love you. Surely you weren't under that impression?"
"Blair did say…"
"I.." Blair began, "Chuck, it was obvious, how you reacted to her presence, how you were always searching for her every time I saw you. Your whole actions screamed L-O-V-E. What happened?"
"I didn't react to her presence" Chuck said, "I reacted to your presence. I was always looking for you when I approached you. And now that you mention it, now it makes sense you were always mentioning Serena. I thought you were the one that missed her, that she had become that close to you in such a short time. I thought it was rather unhealthy."
"Don't you dare put this on me. It is not my fault."
"All right. Not your fault." Chuck exhaled, "Still, I don't love her so why don't you want to marry me?"
"Because I don't love you. I don't even know you." Blair answered desperately.
"And all the signs? All the attentions you were giving me? Surely you feel something"
"No, I didn't felt anything. If anything I feel agony that you are making me, us, me and Serena, pass through this. Chuck, I don't want to marry you. Please leave me alone."
She said and got into the penthouse while grabbing Serena by the hand, and not letting her go. Until they were all the way into the elevator and then in the street; ignoring everyone who was giving them, and Chuck, concerned looks. Dan included.
There in the streets of Manhattan, there they were truly alone.
"S, I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened."
"I still don't think I have processed the whole situation, B." Serena said, looking everywhere except at Blair. When she finally did, she had red eyes. "But you said he loved me Blair. You did say!"
"I was so wrong, I was very very wrong." Blair said, her eyes swelling with tears as well, "I cannot state enough how wrong I was. Will you forgive me?"
"I… you did nothing wrong, Blair. You didn't know." Serena answered, "You really believed, no; we really believed that he somehow liked me. Even loved me!"
Blair tried to smile. She hugged Serena. In their hug they could see Chuck Bass walking quickly pass them an into his limo, without such thing as a word or even a glance. It was for the best.
"I love you, B." Serena said. "I better head up there. I'm going to call it a night and go to my room and rest."
"I better do the same, would you say my good-byes to everyone? Tell them I left so abruptly because I didn't feel well. My mom will surely be worried but I think I rather have her all over me than everyone knowing what just happened."
"Yes. I would do that. Take care, B. We'll talk later." Serena smiled at her while Blair called a cab. "Hey!" she said, making Blair look back at her, "At least this will be a Christmas we'll always remember!"
"Yes." Blair smiled. "And our first Christmas together, S!"
"The first of many."
When she arrived to her home, she took a long bath, she wanted to relax. She heard Eleanor and Cyrus arrive and Eleanor knocked on her door to ask about her health, she was very worried. It took her a lot of time, but Blair finally convinced her that it was a false alarm but that she still needed to be precautious.
"Yes, you indeed should." Eleanor agreed with her. "You did well. I'll leave you to your own."
"Merry Christmas, darling." Eleanor said while she closed Blair's door.
After her bath, Blair called Serena to see how everything was doing.
"I am more calm now, B." Serena said from the other end of the line. "Of one thing I am sure and it is that my heart has not been broken. I didn't love Chuck; I think it was mostly an infatuation, nothing serious, and definitely nothing deep."
"I really hope this is true and not you acting fine for my sake."
"No, Blair, no." Serena said to her. "This one is for my sake, and I feel fine. I really do. We can talk tomorrow, ok? I want to have a good night sleep. Bye."
"All right then, good-bye." Blair said while she hung up.
In retrospective, and now that Blair pondered about the whole evening in her bed; she may have exaggerated when she said everything just went plain wrong at Lily's Christmas party. Because it wasn't true, at least not totally. Yes, an annoying Basstard broke her best female friend's heart when he proposed to Blair right when Serena was next to her. How insensitive and tacky. How low-class. And to think that she found him worthy enough for Serena! But the happy events outshine that tragedy. She was surrounded by her family, and that counted for everything. And she had gained a sister! Jenny was now part of her family. It was always clear for her that Jenny and Dan were so intertwined in her life that they were practically family. But that practicality was now official, at least now, Jenny was officially family! Well, almost. She and Aaron still needed to get marry. Blair wondered if they would let her plan the wedding. She did have experience. "At least it will be posh."
Until next time! Happy Holidays.