Disclaimer: I don't own any of the SVU characters. All matters pertaining to SVU are owned by Dick Wolf or their respective creators.
A/N: Thank you, thank you, thank you! I tried to make this a little more serious, but the next chapter will be at the picnic. I think I finally have this story fully planned out, at least up to the end. Anyways, enjoy, and until next week 3 Thanks!
Alex felt a little jolt in her heart at Olivia calling her "wife." It was a term she had never really associated herself with before, but hearing it from Olivia made her feel warm. And of course the brunette just had to add the beautiful part in. 'Does Olivia really think I'm beautiful?' Alex asked herself. It was enough to help her momentarily forget about their situation, which she was more than grateful for.
"Your beautiful wife would like to maybe order some dinner. What do you feel like looking for?" Alex asked, making sure Olivia knew she had indeed heard the beautiful wife part and had no problems with it.
"I think I saw a phone book in the kitchen. How about I order us a pizza, that way we can just stay here and get accustomed to it a little better," Olivia suggested. Alex nodded her approval as Olivia left her comfort and went into the kitchen to place the order. While she had never really considered herself much of a pizza person—it was so informal—she would gladly eat it for Olivia.
Several minutes later Olivia was back at the couch, joining Alex in staring at the blank wall. "Alex, I think we should talk about what happened," Olivia suddenly said, breaking the once welcomed silence.
Alex was slightly shocked at Olivia's statement, but quickly realized it was perfectly justified. They had been through quite an ordeal, so if Olivia wanted to talk about what had happened it was understandable. The problem was that Alex wasn't so sure she was ready to discuss the night's events. "I know, we need to, Liv. But, I don't think I'm ready just yet. Everything that happened with Elliot, with almost losing you, I don't think I'm finished processing it yet," Alex confessed, her eyes suddenly welling with tears.
Olivia immediately realized she and Alex weren't talking about the same thing, and she felt horrible for having made Alex think about their traumatizing events so soon. She had somehow managed to temporarily place that in the back of her mind, not even thinking about the fact that it had happened yet. Without a second thought, Olivia pulled Alex into a big comforting hug, murmuring soft shushing sounds all the while. "Alex, I'm sorry for upsetting you, but that isn't what I was referring to."
Alex wasn't sure if she'd heard Olivia right and sat up straight to look at the brunette carefully. "Then what were you referring to exactly?" Alex asked cautiously.
Now that she was about to come out with it, Olivia felt a little embarrassed. She didn't really know why, but she blushed furiously. There was no way Alex didn't notice it, which was confirmed when she saw the blonde's face grow even more confused.
"I was actually referring to what just happened upstairs." This time it was Alex's turn to blush. She had pushed that out of her mind when the obnoxious neighbors had dropped by and now was wishing Olivia had too. Of course this is what Olivia wanted to talk about; Alex couldn't believe she had jumped to a conclusion so quickly.
"Oh," was all that the blonde managed to get out. At this, she leaned back down into the back of the couch with a sigh.
"Alex, why did you kiss me now?" Olivia asked calmly. She didn't want to upset Alex, especially since she already had quite a bit.
"I told you why Olivia. I didn't want Emily to kiss you before I got the chance," she said again, recalling her earlier statement from right after the incident. Alex wasn't sure if Olivia just didn't understand her meaning about Emily being someone different or if she had something else in mind.
"Yes, you did tell me that, but that's not what I meant. I meant, why now? Why didn't you do it before we ended up here?" Olivia asked boldly.
It took Alex a second to collect her thoughts around what Olivia was saying. 'Wait, so she's not mad that I kissed her?' Alex thought to herself. She was sure that was why Olivia had brought it up, to let her down and say she didn't want that. But, here she was, saying pretty much the opposite. "I… I don't know," Alex stammered. "I didn't think you wanted me to, Olivia, but I've wanted to for so long. I realized it might be my last chance," she confessed and looked away.
Olivia simply smiled and reached out a hand to grab Alex's chin and tilted her head so she was looking her in the eyes. The brunette leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on Alex's lips, this time because she wanted to. Their lips met and an inexplicable sense of home seemed to fall over them both. Things just felt right for the moment, and all thoughts of death and pain seemed to move to the backs of their minds.
The kiss was cut short by a ring off the doorbell, causing them both to jump. Both women wondered to themselves when they would stop jumping at the slightest sound, and it brought back the reason they were there to the forefront of their minds. Olivia pulled back from a still slightly stunned Alex and smiled. "That must be our pizza," she sighed before getting up to retrieve the pizza and pay the delivery guy.
When Olivia returned, Alex had grabbed some cheep dishes from their new kitchen to eat the pizza off. This wasn't exactly the life she was used to as a Cabot, but she was starting to find she didn't mind it. After hesitantly taking a bite of her pizza, Alex decided she really liked it a lot more than she thought; maybe she was a pizza person after all. They ate in silence, both lost in their thoughts of the last 48 hours and all that had happened.
It would soon be time for bed, and both women could say they were equally nervous and excited. The nerves stemmed from fear of what would go on in their minds as they slept. Olivia especially always had horrid nightmares after a bad case, and this would be no exception. She didn't want to close her eyes and be met by Elliot's pained expression staring at her during his last breath. She didn't want to remember Alex laying on the ground bleeding out, or how she'd thought the beautiful woman was dead.
The excitement was because they wouldn't be alone. Olivia could maybe sleep a little better if she had Alex with her, within reach in case she needed to confirm that the woman she clearly had deep feelings for was alright. The same went for Alex, who still could not forgive herself for allowing Olivia to get shot at on her behalf. The thoughts of the shooting reminded Alex of their wounds, which she realized would need to be cleaned.
"Liv, I should change the bandage on your arm," she said in concern as she realized it had been a while since that had been done. Without waiting for Olivia to answer, Alex went over and got the first aid kit from the car that Hammond had allowed them to take for use until they made it to a store. Olivia reluctantly removed her jacket and rolled up her sleeve.
Olivia winced slightly as Alex repeated the procedure from the car, gritting her teeth when the burning alcohol was placed on the wound. Alex sympathetically kissed her cheek when she was finished, knowing all too well that Olivia was in a lot more pain than she was letting on.
"Thanks," Olivia said with a little blush in response to the kiss. She wondered how to return the favor before she looked at Alex and realized she too was wounded, and much worse. "Oh gosh, Alex, you were actually shot much worse than me. Here, I'll help you," Olivia went to look remove Alex's hospital bandaged, but Alex jumped back fearfully.
"No!" she said, a little harsher than intended. She didn't mean to snap at Olivia, and immediately felt bad when she saw the look of hurt on her face. Her tone softened, but the fear didn't leave her voice. "I mean, I can do it myself, but thanks." And with that, Alex grabbed the first aid kit supplies and sped off to the bathroom to do it in private.
Olivia wanted to follow and make sure she was alright, but she knew Alex probably just needed time. She couldn't understand Alex's way of thinking, but she knew it had something to do with needing to do things for herself for a while. She'd be lying if she said she didn't want to help Alex, but she also knew there was no way around letting Alex Cabot get what she wanted when she wanted it.
About ten minutes later, Olivia was ready to give up her resolve and go help Alex when the woman herself finally emerged as calm as she had been before she had yelled. Olivia carefully approached, just in case Alex didn't want to be touched, but when the blonde wrapped her arms around Olivia she knew that wasn't the case.
"I don't know about you, but it's been a long day and I'm exhausted. Bed?" Alex asked hopefully.
Olivia chuckled, more because Alex seemed back in good spirits. They would have to talk about Alex's reaction later, but it could wait a night. For now, Alex's idea for sleep sounded heavenly. "I'd say that's an excellent idea wife," Olivia said as she grabbed her wife's hand and walked her up the steps.