Luwdig's burning throat and inability to breathe through his nose woke him that morning long before Gerhalt had the chance to storm into the room. He lay there quietly, throat aching and his stomach churning, trying to convince himself it was all in his head and that he'd be fine.

He had to be fine.

Then, with a violent slam of the door Gerhalt was there yelling for them to get up. Ludwig's head throbbed at the noise but he swallowed it down, forcing himself to sit up and not shiver as around him the others dug for fresh clothes and toothbrushes.

Last to shower, as usual, Ludwig had plenty of time to lean against the wall in the hallway and space out, Mattie standing quietly beside him, fighting to not fall asleep standing up. It was harder then it should have been, his entire body seeming to beg to go back to the cot.

When it was finally his turn to shower, he leaned against the tile and half-heartedly scrubbed the shampoo through his hair, his movements slow as molasses before Gerhalt snapped for him to hurry it up. Apparantly he didn't hurry fast enough even then for the older man because the moment he stepped out of the shower he'd barely had time to throw clothes on before Gerhalt snatched him by the wrist and dragged him downstairs. The others were sitting waiting for them and Grandpa frowned when Ludwig sat down, erupting into a brief coughing fit.

"Oh dear… Luddy, are you alright?"

"Yes…" Ludwig said, catching the anxious glance sent by the other three.

"Are you sure," Grandpa stood up, rounding the table and kneeling so he was eyelevel with Ludwig, "You don't look alright."

"I feel fine," Ludwig said before sneezing.

"I'm sure…" Grandpa sighed, reaching up to feel his forehead. He withdrew quickly, shaking his hand as if were burned and giving Ludwig a pitying look.

"Oh sweet heart, my room. Now."

Ludwig cast a nervous look to the others, who were watching the two of them anxiously. Lovino in particular looked incredibly sympathetic as Grandpa took Ludwig by the arm and lead him back up the stairs. His room was dressed as if to be the most inviting thing in the world but Ludwig felt anything but comfortable inside.

He sat down on the plush bed, covered in hundreds of pillows and blankets, the mattress sinking under his weight. Grandpa shooed him further onto the bed, up against the pillows and covering him with blankets, tucking him in tightly.

"Just rest here, alright?" He said, "We'll have you right as rain in no time."

His body betraying him, Ludwig felt his head fall back against his will, eyes slipping shut before had a chance to think. Beside him, he could feel Grandpa's weight dip the bed and a pair of large warm arms wrapped around him. Ludwig stiffened at the contact, both because his illness made him overly sensitive to contact and because Grandpa had buried his nose in Ludwig's hair, breathing softly and slowly.

"You worry me sometimes Luddy," Grandpa whispered after a moment. Ludwig squirmed in his hold as the man's arms tightened.

"Somehow, I worry that maybe you're not cut out for what we do here-what your brothers do here." Grandpa sighed, moving closer, "And if there's no way you can preform, well… how am I supposed to convince Gerhalt and the General to keep you?"

Ludwig swallowed, opening his eyes and looking up at Grandpa, who was smiling softly.

"You understand right?" Grandpa asked gently, reaching up to smooth Ludwig's bangs back, "We need money to put food in your mouth and clothes on your back, and how are we supposed to do that when you can't preform?"

Ludwig understood. He could be thrown away like trash if he wasn't careful. Left out on the street in the cold and no idea what to do or where to go. Yes, he'd love nothing more than to leave this place and never look back, but what then? His friends were here, the only people he'd ever known. There were shadows of memories, more like dreams, where he could see someone loud and obnoxious smiling at him, yelling at him, holding his hand, but nothing distinct. This, here, with Grandpa and the others, that was what he knew and understood. He knew how to keep out of the worst danger here, how to not make his caretakers mad or upset his friends… out there? He'd probably get hurt in five minutes flat.

"I understand…" He whispered, throat hurting.

Grandpa smiled, nuzzling his nose in Ludwig's hair, "I know you do… but Gerhalt? The General? They doubt… and if you're sick then maybe that's the final straw."

Ludwig felt an uncomfortable lurch in his stomach and it wasn't a signal he was about to be sick.

"We have to prove to them you're able to work, don't we?" Grandpa continued, "We have to show them you belong here."

Ludwig nodded slowly.

"I know how… but you have to agree, alright? We have to work together." Grandpa pressed a kiss to Ludwig's temple, "Tommorow, bright and early, you and I are going on a trip. We're going to go visit that nice man from yesterday-the one we met at the restaurant."

Ludwig wanted to protest-he always wanted to protest-but kept his mouth shut-as usual.

"You're going to make him happy, and that will make Gerhalt and the General happy, meaning you will be happy." Grandpa looked Ludwig in the eye, "Understand?"

Ludwig swallowed, slowly nodding as the pain in his head made itself more pronounced.

"Say it, aloud." Grandpa whispered.

"I understand."

The morning arrived much like any other had that past week, quietly and with a small drizzle of rain. As his alarm sounded Gilbert watched out the window as gray skies rolled overhead and rain threw itself here and there outside.

He reached over to silence his alarm before slumping back against the pillows, enjoying the silence for just a few more minutes before he had to get up and start his day. He was tired, he didn't want to get up in actuality. That day Roderich allowed him to leave early had been the last day of peace he'd had all week. The next morning there was a fight downtown, near his own apartment actually, and the rest of the day was filled with speeding cars in school zones and misdemeanors by kids that could have been Luddy's age…

Gilbert groaned, throwing himself forward into a sitting position and looking outside again. The sky matched his mood, and by the forecast he'd glanced over last night it promised to stay that way.

He huffed, climbing out of bed and heading for his closet. He scooped up the pants from last night, confirming the spaghetti sauce stain on the thigh was indeed not as big a deal as he'd thought it might be, and pulled them on. As he looked for and finally found the rest of what he needed to be properly dressed he then ventured further into the far back of the closet and reached towards the back of the high shelf.

Pulling out a box that's cardboard was as old and battered as Gilbert felt at the moment, with tape heaped along the edges and the opening in layers upon layers. Sighing, he turned and made his way out the door, dumping the box on his table before stomping around the apartment to collect the things he needed.

A bag, his wallet and keys, and finally an umbrella he rescued from the dusty yet organized clutter of his closet. Taking a prepatory breath, he scooped the box up from the table and headed out the door where his umbrella was immediately assaulted by the rain. He'd barely managed to lock the front door before he was wrestling with the wind to keep hold of his umbrella as he walked down the street. People that passed him were doing much of the same things, rushing through the wet puddles to get out of the freezing rain and wind. Gilbert's legs were splashed quite a few times as he walked, his jeans hugging his ankles and lower calves like a slimy second skin.

His first stop was the supermarket that sat among the older suburbs and more rundown apartment complexes. It was what people called the "Scary Walmart" because that's where a lot of the more… interesting… customers came to shop-especially at night. But he had some much needed shopping to get out of the way and the sooner he got it over with the better.

Walking towards the bakery, Gilbert looked out amongst the different sugary cupcakes and cakes waiting to be chosen. He judged them on size, color, appeal, and just how much he'd actually want it.

He couldn't help but think of Roderich's cakes and for a moment he was tempted to call him. He stopped himself before he even had a chance to reach for his phone, remembering he'd left it at the apartment anyway and so he continued on towards the frozen foods section.

Gilbert knew today was going to suck, and it only added to the guilt he felt about today because it wasn't supposed to suck.

But it did suck-and he only had himself to blame for it. Gilbert threw frozen tv dinners into a hand basket, stomping towards toiletries and reminding himself he needed to find something nice to take with him tonight-nothing rushed, nothing lazy. He had to do this right.

Roddy would probably try calling, and when that wouldn't work he'd probably drag his wife to Gilbert's apartment. That made Gilbert wonder if he should perhaps head back to make sure he really did have everything for today. Usually after Roderich and Elizabeta tried his place they gave up-meaning it'd be better if he weren't there in the first place.

Looking over the things he'd gathered, Gilbert wondered if it were enough. Toothpaste, cereal, deodorant, hmm… yeah this should be enough to make it till next week. He turned his attention towards the display of flowers standing nearby but quickly turned away.

He didn't want to embarrass his brother after all.

With a nod to his basket, he headed towards the checkout, where he'd spend the entire wait in line digging through his bag for his wallet before remembering it was in his pocket. Walking home, he'd dump the groceries on the table and hurry for his car, swearing he'd seen Roddy's car passing his on it's way to the apartment complex before settling into the pleather seat and forcing himself to relax. The box had been extracted from his bag and set carefully in his trunk as he left, cushioned by the large picnic blanket he kept back there.

He'd spend the rest of the day driving around town, generally wasting time, and slipping through the occasional drive through when he felt like eating. All the while the rain pelted down from above and Gilbert had to wonder if it was indeed connected to what today was somehow…

Gilbert arrived on the outskirts of town just as the rain took a more intense turn. He drove his car carefully from the paved road and towards a grassy clearing, managing to park in mud and nearly slipping on his way out of the car. Catching himself at the last moment, he carefully marched around the car towards the trunk, opening it and sitting on the edge as he rooted through it's contents for what he needed.

The picnic blanket, the box, and his umbrella. He wrapped the box in the blanket before standing and popping open the umbrella, closing his trunk and locking the car as he marched towards the empty clearing.

It was a rundown area, nothing of much worth growing anywhere. Nothing really had a chance, this area was usually used for festivals and the passing carnival. There was still some litter hanging around from a concert that had been held here a few weeks ago and Gilbert did his best to avoid it as the world grew dark with the setting sun.

Finally he came to the other edge of the clearing, where an outcropping of trees provided an almost non-existent cover from the rain. Gilbert sighed, realizing there was no helping it, and set his umbrella down and unwrapping the blanket. He set the box carefully down on the ground and turned to spreading the blanket out, weighing it down with fallen branches and nearby rocks he scratched out of the mud.

Wiping his hands, he sat down on the blanket and reached out to grab his umbrella and the box. Pining the umbrella to his shoulder with his head, he extracted a pen knife from his pocket and stabbed the tape holding his box closed, slicing to the left and tearing it open.

"Evening Luddy…" Gilbert whispered, setting the knife down beside him and pulling out a small framed picture of his brother. Setting it down in front of him, he pulled out a number of other photos he had, mainly Christmases and birthdays, and began to look through them. His baby brother, in some an actual baby, smiled back up at him in some, in others he either stared blankly at the camera or had been caught in the middle of crying. Gilbert stood or sat beside him in almost every single one, grinning wickedly. There was a particular favorite of his, where Ludwig was perhaps only a few months old and they were in their old house, sitting in front of a tv with Gilbert holding him, or realistically probably crushing him since the baby was so tightly pressed against his chest. Ludwig stared at the camera blankly, his expression seeming to ask why their grandfather was allowing Gilbert to manhandle him so and taking pictures of it. Gilbert meanwhile had the dumbest smile he'd ever seen on anyone's face plastered all over his own.

It was one of the few happy memories he treasured.

When Gilbert was fifteen he'd basically been the man of the house. His real dad had split literally the night Ludwig was born. His grandfather, for all the smiles and comfort he could sometimes be bothered to provide, only passed through town occasionally when "business" didn't have him somewhere else. He was usually a rather cold man in the first place so Gilbert never thought much of it anyway. His mom, the one charged with actually taking care of them, was never around, and Gilbert had to wonder how social services hadn't been on their doorstep yet. He'd liked to kid himself that it was because somehow they knew he was a good caretaker. Somehow, with that "Big Brother" and "All Seeing Organizations" crap they knew no one had to worry about Ludwig's welfare when Gilbert was there.

Or maybe they did.

Gilbert honestly didn't know how it happened, even to this day, nine years later, he was still trying to understand. One moment Ludwig had been there, crying and throwing a tantrum as all five year olds usually do, and the next Gilbert was screaming his throat raw trying to find him.

It had been a hot summer day, Gilbert remembered because he'd been worried about the two of them getting sunburns, and as an attempt to distract his baby brother from the heat Gilbert had taken him to the local fair being held as some sort of celebration to the arrival of summer. The food, the rides, the games, he'd been sure it would keep the kid happy for the day.

They'd enjoyed being together, Gilbert picking up loose change from the ground (and unsuspecting passersby's pockets) to keep them going when they ran out of their own spending money. Ludwig had won a stuffed bear at one of the games, and he proudly showed it off whenever he could to the people nearby.

Gilbert remembered now, with a twist of revulsion and utter anguish, that a brunette man in his thirties had been especially congratulatory towards Ludwig. Gilbert hadn't liked how close the man had tried to get around them, and felt an unpleasant tug in his gut every time he saw him after that around the fair but forced himself to think nothing of it-there had been a lot of false alarms lately and he'd been determined to show his little brother a good time.

Then they'd deteriorated into a fight, over something Gilbert couldn't even remember, and when Gilbert had turned the other way for barely a second Ludwig had run off in a rage.

After that it was mainly a blur. All Gilbert remembered was tearing through the fair, knocking down people and stands in his way as finding his brother became harder and harder-eventually he'd been forced to give up when a couple of cops had grabbed him, dragged him to the security tent and he'd screamed himself hoarse trying to get them to understand his baby brother was missing.

He'd keep screaming for years after that. At social workers, at foster homes, at the streets as he prowled the dingiest places whenever he heard there was a kid with blue eyes and blonde hair skulking around…

And for years he'd scream at Fritz, the cop that stopped his manhandling of Gilbert to listen and then send out search parties that night. Fritz would scream right back sometimes, and other times he'd be there to listen as Gilbert screamed at other people-usually right before he pulled Gil out of a dangerous situation and dragged him right back to his aunt's house where Roderich would be waiting to tell him off.

Speaking of Roderich, Gilbert turned to see two figures approaching through the darkness and frowned when he saw Roddy and Eliza standing there, looking glad and a bit apprehensive. Like they were waiting for him to start shouting, which indeed crossed his mind at first glance but then he found he only had the energy to slump backwards into the grass as the rain continued to pelt him until Elizabeta held her umbrella over him.

With a nod to Ludwig's picture, Roderich sat on the blanket beside Gilbert and tugged open a plastic tuberware, inside a chocolate cake greeted them.

Happy Birthday Luddy

15

Gilbert swallowed an urge to cry and instead chose to for once embrace the uptight and stuffy Police Commissioner that was his cousin. On the other side, Elizabeta sat down and stared quietly at the barren clearing before pulling out a small box of matches and the three of them huddled close together as she lit a large one and five candle.

The three shared a bit of a sheepish look, then Roderich began to sing softly,

"Happy Birthday to you…" His voice was beautiful, he'd been a choir star growing up, "Happy Birthday to you…"

"Happy Birthday dear Luddy…" Gilbert whispered in his own rough and amateur singing voice.

"Happy Birthday to you…" Elizabeta joined in, voice soft and sweet.

The candles flickered in the wind as they sang, and when they finally uttered the end of the song the flames gave a shudder and went out.

Gilbert pretended for a moment that his brother had blown them out.