I'm back guys!
I hope you like this one. Let me know what you think, it will mean a lot to me! I'm struggling to write this, I'm too focused on other stories and one simple solution for me to write at full speed would be if I know that someone's actually looking forward to an update! So, let me know what you think! :)
Pretty please? :)
I'm not sure which was worst: Hearing all of that from Jess or breaking it down to Elena.
I listened to Jess's advice and I didn't sugarcoat it for her. Of course, that meant I would have to wait for her to snap out of the shock I just put her through. So, I waited, exchanging worried looks with Stefan.
"This is a lot to process." Elena mumbles as she falls deeper into the sofa.
"I know. I feel the same way. But it's the truth. I trust Jess; I would put my life in her hands without a blink of an eye. If she says that this is the way things are, this is the way things are." I tell her.
"If I understood you correctly, the two of you are in no danger, as of right now?" Stefan asks.
"Yes. But being what we are, we have some bad mojo around us. Jess is adamant that we have to dig into our past, to try and find a common connection, but she also says that we have next to no chance of ever finding out how or why it all started. The best we can do is to track it back as far as we can. And keep an eye out for Cleo, Katherine, or any other possible double. For Katherine, we know that she was alive in 1864. And we know that we know nothing of her. We know and we hope that she's either dead, or that she has no plan whatsoever, to ever step foot in Mystic Falls. As for Cleo, well, your story is the only thing we actually know. Jess is certain that she is dead."
"I think she's right." Stefan sighs. "I told you what Lexi told me. She hasn't seen her after the night that picture was taken. I doubt Lexi would have known anything, but still, she might have been able to help."
"In a way, I'm glad I won't have to deal with Cleo showing up, but she could have been the only one with any answers. Jess will go to New Haven, she will try to trace my lineage as far back as she can. But I can't shake away the feeling that Lexi and Cleo were the only ones with any answers."
"We have to dig deep about you too." I turn to Elena." My story may be a mystery, but we already know that you have to be connected with Katherine. And we know she is connected to Isobel, your vampire mom, Alaric's ex, which makes this a soap opera I was not prepared for." I sigh.
"And Isobel would not be willing to help." Elena interrupts me. "I tried calling her. She knows I tried to find her, and she made a point of letting me know that she is not interested in me at all."
"We might not even need Isobel for this." Stefan tells us. "She could help us, but I doubt she'll run to the chance. We have Alaric on our side. He was her husband. He knows the names of her parents, her birthplace, which should be enough for us to start. As long as we cover our tracks, we should be good."
"What if it's connected to the other side?" I ask, earning confused looks from the both of them. "Elena doesn't know who her biological father was. Sure, just based on our luck, Isobel would be the logical link to Katherine, but what if it's the other way around?" I suggest.
"She's right." Elena tells her boyfriend. "We've thought that the two of them are connected, because both of them turned. It's a stretch, but it might be true. There's just the problem of me not knowing who my father is." She adds.
"So the only way you can know about your father is if Isobel tells you, and she does not want to be found." Stefan says. This is getting messier by the second.
"Well, this all just keeps getting better and better." I mumble.
"We're going to be late for school." Elena sighs, getting up and Stefan following her lead. "We'll deal with this later." She says and I nod, knowing all too well that this will wait for us.
I end up sitting on the floor of Damon's room, a cup of coffee in my hand, wondering about everything.
Where was Damon? Is Cleo really dead? Why the hell am I connected to it? How unfair it was for Elena to not know anything about her birth parents? It's all a mess. A mess in which I either feel sorry for myself or I feel sorry for someone else. And it just keeps running in circles.
I wasn't even halfway through my first cup when my phone rang and Stefan's name showed up.
"What happened?" I ask, trying hard to ignore the bad feeling I had; they only left like 20 minutes ago.
"I need you to call Damon," Stefan sighs. "He's not answering, and we need the both of you in school ASAP. Isobel's in town." He tells me.
Well, we did speak of the devil, didn't we?
I'm walking up and down an empty school corridor, the sound of my heels echoing, as I wait for Damon to pick up his phone; third call, so far. He's ignoring me on purpose. I try again, for the fourth time.
"Calling to say you're sorry?" He answers on the first ring; he must have had the phone in his hand, just laughing while ignoring the first three tries. "I'm waiting." He says cheerfully and I bite my tongue.
"Damon, I did not call you to play games. We have a situation."
"Well, I'm sure you and the Scooby Gang can take care of it yourself." He tells me, still very cheerful.
"Damon, I mean it when I say that we have a problem here. 911 problem," I tell him, and this time, he does not laugh, nor does he offer a snarky comment. "I don't know what we're going to do. I can't explain it, you need to come here. School, Alaric's classroom. ASAP."
This is an all hands on deck situation. And even with all the hands on deck, I still don't know if we can handle it. Isobel doesn't sound like the type of woman that plays around. And we still don't know what it is that she wants. It could be anything, literally anything. All we know is that she wants to see Elena.
"What did he say?" I hear Stefan ask and I jump up in surprised; I was so lost in my own thoughts, I didn't even notice him stepping out in the hallway. I jumped back so hard, I hit one of the lockers; after looking at it, I realize my head left a small dent in it. "Sorry." Stefan mumbles, but I shake my head.
"It's okay. He didn't say much, but he'll be here. How is she taking all of this?" I ask.
"She's in shock," he says and I nod, expecting nothing less." These past couple of days have been a shock after a shock. It would be difficult to handle even without the supernatural element. How are you taking all of this?" he asks me and I can't help but smile at his worry.
"I'm not the one you should be worried about." I sigh, nodding my head in the direction of the classroom Elena was in right now with Alaric, waiting for Damon to join all of us.
"It's happening to you too," he shakes his head at me. "And yet, you're still here? Why not leave?"
"Because Elena's not the only one in this mess," I shake my head. "I may very well be related to her. Isobel may not be my mess, but there are messes Elena and I share. And if you're looking for a reason more, isn't my love for your brother reason enough?" I ask.
I may be bending over backwards to keep Elena safe. And I may be very angry with Damon right now, but that doesn't change the way I feel about him. Nor will it ever.
"I swear, if I didn't see the two of you fight, I would have thought you were sired to him."
"Me? Sired to Damon?" I ask, bursting out in laughter. "No, Stefan. This is something much different. This is… more pure. Love and friendship. You need to consider something, Stefan. I was a human. Damon didn't stop a stake before it hit my heart. He gave me my life back just as it was about to slip out of my fingers. You have no idea how lost I was. This wasn't some heroic rescue, or him being my back up. He literally gave me my life back. That cannot and will not be erased, ever. He waltzed into my life, going from a drunk, sexy customer that was flirting with me, to a life saver, best friend; partner in almost everything. He is my family, Stefan. He may be your blood, he may be your brother, but he's my family too. I have a ton of reasons why I'm not leaving. You're curious, and that's okay. I'm explaining it. I care for Elena. I care for you. I care for Alaric. Add another hundred reasons to that. And finally, Damon is my family."
I didn't like him questioning my motives, even if I knew where he was coming from with it. If I was in his place, I'd probably be doing it too. Still, it's not exactly something that's comfortable to endure; it felt as if I was being questioned, as if he was ungrateful, even though I know he isn't.
"Thank you," he utters. "I won't question your motives. And you know I am thankful for everything."
"Stefan, you're a friend. You don't have to thank me. I am no longer some random stranger who helped you. I am a friend. This falls under that definition. Help someone without wanting anything in return. I know, if I called the three of you, tomorrow night, you'd help me. So stop thanking me. Damon is family. You're his family. That makes you my family as well. So stop thanking me, and let's get back into the classroom before I say the word "family" one more time. I'm already sounding like Vin Diesel."
For one perfect moment, Stefan starts laughing and I join him. It was as perfect as it was brief. Humor can only last so long when we're in danger. It was brief, but it was absolutely perfect.
And it might be just what we needed.
I could write a whole novel explaining how it was absolutely wrong of them to leave me out of the whole Isobel drama. As a vampire that is also helping them, I had every right to be there.
Unfortunately, I was outvoted; all of them agreed it's better to keep me safe. And I had no real say in it at all. Which is why I ended up waiting back at the house, smoking once cigarette after the other.
Finally, they come back; Damon marches in with Stefan following him.
"She wants the Gilbert device! And I won't give it to her!" He tells me, grinning like a maniac.
The same thing John Gilbert, Elena's uncle wanted to get his hands on? Well, shit.
"Is she working with John Gilbert?" I ask but Damon simply ignores my question as he runs up the stairs. I turn to Stefan, hoping that he's still the reasonable Stefan he was once he was out of the basement.
"She brushed it off," he tells me. "I think she might be working with him, but I'm not sure."
"What else do we know?" I ask.
"Not much. She wants the device and she pointed out that she won't choose ways to get it. And Damon's not going to hand it to her. She knows Katherine," Stefan tells me. Of course. It had to be her. "I think it's safe to say Elena's connected to Katherine's bloodline through her mother. All in all, she was pretty rude to Elena. It wasn't the reunion she was hoping for."
"We all expected that, after what Ric told us," I sigh. "Is she okay?"
"I'm not sure," Stefan takes a deep breath. "This is too much for her to handle, I think.
"Then go. Go, be with her," I urge him. The moment he walked inside the house, I wondered why he wasn't with her to begin with. "If I could handle you while you were Mr. Grumpy Pants, I can take care of him," I joke; thank God, he does crack a smile. "Go. Your girl needs you!" I urge him again.
Stefan's out of the house in a matter of seconds, and I make my way up the stairs, knowing I have to confront Damon. We barely spoke to each other today, and when we did, we completely ignored the issue that came up last night. If we keep on ignoring it, it'll only grow more and more.
I lean on the doorframe of his room, looking at him. He was ignoring me, just lounging on his bad, looking as casual as ever. I could tell that he would be just fine with ignoring this for good.
"You came to apologize?" he asks.
I want to talk back; I want to tell him to go to hell. But I say nothing. I just stand and look at him.
"You know, it's funny how I was pushing Stefan's buttons, and you were the one that reacted."
"I wasn't jumping to his defense, if that's what you're wondering," I sigh as I walk over to him. I sit down on the edge of the bed; he still hasn't looked at me. "Your comment filled up the glass and you know it. You know damn well why I reacted the way I did."
"If you're not here to officially apologize, than why are you here?"
"Stefan's not here. He's with Elena and I'm using the time we have with him not hearing us."
"Uh, nasty. Didn't want my brother to hear the bed squeaking?" He asks, catching me off guard.
"You're an idiot, Damon." I say through laughter. It was a good one, I'll give him that.
"I've heard that one before," he nods, finally smiling at me. "So, if you're not here to apologize, and you're not here to have crazy vampire sex, why are you here? What is it that you want to talk about that my brother, and your new BFF, shouldn't know about?" he asks. Of course, he had to bring that up.
"How old are you?" I ask him, shaking my head in disbelief." Do you really need me to tell you that you are my best friend and not Stefan? Do I really have to explain that I can have more friends than just you? And that even if I do, no one could ever take your coveted place? Huh? Does that cover it?"
"It doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would," Damon says, looking thoughtful. "You're switching brothers. And that's okay. It's something girls tend to do with the two of us. He's the one you've been sharing your deepest darkest secrets with lately. Tell me, is he a better listener than I am?"
"Damon, I told him my story. No deep, dark secrets. I told him my story because Elena asked me to, because we both thought it might help him. And it did. I don't see why you should be bothered with it. As for the brother switch, if that's what you think of me, than maybe Stefan is the brother I should be friends with. Yet, here I am."
"You told him everything?" Damon asks, and for the first time since I entered his room, he was not being an ass. He looked a bit worried, or, at the very least, compassionate. He knew I don't share that easily.
"Yes," I nod. "He needed to know. He needed to be reminded that it's not always dark."
"For you it's not. For him, it is." Damon mumbles.
"If it was always dark for him, he'd still be in that basement. And this is not what I wanted to talk about."
"Then what is?"
"I think you know it."
"No, I don't think I do." Damon shakes his head.
"Elena. Ring a bell?"
"You know, you're doing exactly the same thing Katherine did," Damon tells me, changing the subject. "The only difference is that you're not actually having sex with us. At least not with me. You're MO's the same. Make us like you, make us care, then choose accordingly, chose the one you need more at the moment. It's the same as it was with her, only you are the "friendzone" version."
"I'd be insulted, if this wasn't an obvious attempt to change the subject," I roll my eyes. "Just to make it clear, I'm not playing her game. I actually care about you. Both of you. And I'm here to help you, not use you. So, back to the part where you insulted me just to change the subject. Elena."
"Maybe Stefan is the one you should be friends with. He wouldn't put you in danger. I imagine that he's better at life advice. He definitely isn't as fun as I am, but he has his moments. But you'd get to a rough patch eventually. Elena may end up being jealous of your friendship, and he would choose her. You and Elena might end up in mortal danger, and he would choose to save her. It doesn't matter how close you are, or how well you get along, or how many secrets you share. He'd still always choose Elena." he says.
"Are you trying to tell me that you wouldn't?" I ask.
The way he's saying it, Stefan's the bad guy, Elena's the bitch and I'm the poor little girl that never gets picked. And that's not the reality of our situation at all.
"You picked a wrong angle, Damon," I sigh. "Because I really do like Stefan. And Elena too. I know better than to let you play your games on me. It never worked before, it won't work now. So, let me try to direct this conversation back on its course. I will ask you a question I shouldn't be asking. I will ask you not to do something, and essentially, it is none of my business, but I will ask you, because I do not want to see you ruining an already ruined relationship. I'm going to walk into a territory I should not be walking in, because I don't want to see my best friend ruined." I tell him.
"And what question is that, that needs such an introduction?"
"Please, please, do not act on your feelings for Elena."
"And why wouldn't I do that?" he asks me. "Acting on your feelings is supposed to be healthy?"
"No, not when your brother is with her, it's not. I could give you a million reasons, but let's start with the fact that your brother was there first."
"I was first with Katherine. That did not stop Stefan." Damon tells me.
"It's not the same."
"Yes, it is," he insists and I shake my head. And he snaps. "How?! How is it any different?" He yells.
"Because Elena is not playing games!" I yell. "Katherine was playing both of you! She liked attention; she liked the passion and the thrill of it all. She liked the game and she played it like a pro! Hell, she may have even invented the game! A game that Elena is not playing and you need to open your eyes. She is not Katherine, and you know it. Katherine was playing with you, and Elena is not doing that. She loves Stefan. She is not teasing you, she's not giving you a bait to bite, she's not using some random, well thought, tricks. She simply loves the guy. If she was to turn around, tell you she loves you, I'd give you my blessing, no matter how bad that might end for Stefan. But she is not doing that. You are projecting. And if you keep on projecting, hoping and making moves that may end up swaying her in your direction, you'll be in big trouble. You'll ruin whatever's left with your relationship with Stefan, you'll go batshit crazy for the second time around, and frankly, you're going to make her hate you. And correct me if I'm wrong, but that's not something you're looking forward to, is it?"
"What if she was to change your mind?" He asks me. Good God, he's living in denial.
"I'd still think that wouldn't be too fair to Stefan. But if she does, go for it. And we're talking about the future, because right now, she's not showing any signs of having feelings for you."
"Yes, she is." he tells me. I knew he had feelings for Elena, but I didn't know he was this delusional.
"No, Damon, she's not. Did she kiss you? Did she tell you she likes you? Did she break up with Stefan so that she can be with you? No, no and no. She cares for you, she's worried for you. But I care for you, and I'm worried for you. It's friendship, Damon, not love."
"Zoe, you're underestimating me." Damon warns me.
"If I was underestimating you, I wouldn't be in here right now, having this conversation. I know you. You can act all you'd like, but I know you, and I am begging you, do not make the situation worse than it already is. Stefan knows you even better than I do, and he is not blind Damon. He knows the way you feel about her. The only person who seems to be blind to it is Elena. Judge me all you'd like for what I'm about to say, but if it was some guy against Theo, I know who'd I pick. And not just some random guy. If it was the love of my life against Theo, I'd still chose Theo. Don't choose someone else over Stefan. Not if that person doesn't want to be chosen."
"Zoe, I love you, but this is none of your business." He tells me.
"Actually, it kind of is. Who will pick up the pieces, Damon? I always do that for you. You do it for me as well! We do stupid shit but I learn. I make a stupid mistake and then I do all I can to avoid repeating it again. You, on the other hand, always take the same road, even if you know you'll reach a dead end!"
"Elena is not a dead end!"
"Does she think the same?!"
"I can make her think the same. And not by compulsion! I'm not a bad guy, Zoe. Of all the people, you should know it!" He tells me.
"And I do, for fuck's sake! I am here because I know it. You are a good guy, but you tend to do bad things. Don't even try to deny it Damon; you know it better than I do. There is a reason your humanity is still on. Guilt is what keeps you in check. You do shitty things, but what makes you a good person is that you actually feel bad about it. Set that aside and let's talk about your attitude. Compare yourself to Stefan. He is a guy that fell straight out of a romance novel. He's kind, beautiful, smart, fuck, he's ideal! And you are a great guy Damon. You are charming as hell and funny, and I don't even want to start talking about how good looking you are. You have that bad boy charm. And while a lot of girls, myself included, tend to go crazy about that, Elena does not fall into that group. She falls into the group of those who read books and imagine love stories like those, and Stefan is giving her just that. I have been a woman long enough to know that she will not fall for the bad boy. If you want to win her love and affection, you need to play a different game, Damon. You need to be nice. Kind. Helping. Little less of an ass. And you certainly won't win her over if you try to make Stefan look like a bad guy."
"Zoe, are you my friend or not?"
"I am, I'm trying to help you!"
"If that's what you're doing, stop trying!" He yells directly to my face. I watch in shock as the black veins pop up around his eyes. I watch as his eyes go red and fangs pop up and this was it for me.
Slowly, but surely, the two of us are ruining our friendship.
A mixture of anger and hurt hit me hard, right in the chest. I get up and I walk towards the door, not wanting Damon to see what's about to happen.
"Where are you going?" He asks after me.
"To one of the guest rooms," I tell him, not turning around. "I probably won't leave Mystic Falls soon, the way this is going. I'll find a new place I can stay at. And in case you were wondering, I talked to Jess," I say, remembering that he doesn't even know about it; he never cared enough to ask. "She told me that we are mixed into some heavy witch mojo. Apparently, it's dangerous, but Elena being human, she's in more danger than I am. We have a lot of research to do, and Jess will be the one doing most of the work. Just in case you were wondering. I know I'm not your biggest worry." I say as I close the door.
I wasn't planning to use his tactics, I really wasn't. It was the hurt that made me do it.
I really am hurt. It hurts me to see how much he cares for Elena while not giving a shit about me. As his friend, I think I deserve more.
There is no worse feeling than the one of losing your friend. The start of it is particularly bad; when you feel that something's going wrong and there's nothing you can do to change it.
You feel useless, and every other emotion falls short, even the feeling of anger and betrayal.
Not only does it feel as if my friendship with Damon is about to fall off a cliff; it also feels as if I am even further away from the goal I set out to achieve. Because every word I told him was the truth. Every word came from my heart. But there was a reason behind it, and for that, I hated myself.
Isobel wants that device and Damon would never give it to her. And I had to do all that was in my power to affect his decision.
Even if I meant every single word, I said it with a purpose. If I made Damon think that Elena would appreciate his good deeds, he might just make them. At this point, I'm disgusted with myself, but I did what I had to do.
At least that's what I'll keep saying to myself.