Chapters 26 – 30
Snape was deeply touched. Before, when Voldemort and Lucius found out the identity of his crush, all they did was try to prevent it from going any further. They advised him nicely, threatened him, yelled at him, found substitutes for him, they did everything anyone can ever think of to stop Snape from going any further. Although Snape knew they were right, they were doing what was good for him, and Snape knew what he wanted was just wishful thinking; but deep down, there was a tiny part of him that was angry at them for not understanding and not supporting him.
Snape knew, many times, Harry didn't act like a Slytherin; but at important times, Harry was more of a Slytherin than anymore. The way Harry gave up Lily's friendship, but supported Snape's love choices without hesitations, made Snape feel happy and sad at the same time. He knew there was no future to this crush, but he would never forget Harry's friendship.
"But…" Harry hesitated, should he tell Snape about that? He wasn't sure to what degree Snape loved Remus, would he accept that Remus was a werewolf?
"But what?" Snape was confused at Harry's hesitation, "If there's something you're worried about, just tell me." He was just happy that Harry was willing to help.
"…um…if…if Lupin…if he has a small problem…tiny problem…would you still love him?" Harry tried to prepare Snape for what he wanted to ask next.
Snape drank some more Butterbeer, his face was bright red now, "A small problem? I'm fine with that big problem he…" He stopped what he was saying and looked around him cautiously. When he saw that no one was paying attention to him, he relaxed a little.
"What do you think about werewolves?" Snape asked, his voice was as low as possible.
Harry almost choked on the piece of candy he had in his mouth. "What…what did you say?" Did Snape knew about this? Who told him this? Voldemort? It's possible. As a professor, Voldemort must knew Lupin was a werewolf, he was probably also opposed to Lupin coming to school.
Snape must have misunderstood Harry's reaction; he thought Harry was scared as it was very common for people to be scared of werewolves. Because of this, Snape was even more worried about Lupin's situation, he might a bit be better when he's at Hogwarts right now, but what happens when his poor Lupin graduates? "Not…nothing."
"You just said," Harry looked around and lowered his voice, "Werewolves!"
Snape denied that straight away, "I didn't!"
"Yes, you did!"
"No, I didn't!" Snape yelled that, while thinking about whether or not he should use some unfriendly methods to make Harry forget about some things.
This kind of argument was useless, Harry told himself. He decided to take a chance and if the situation deteriorated, then he could always Obliviate Snape, although that was his last resort. "Tell me the truth, Severus, did you know that…Lupin was a werewolf?" He stared at Snape, not wanting to miss a single reaction.
Snape's eyes opened wide, his face showed: surprise, confusion, unbelievable, and a bit of joy, there was no trace of fear. "You knew too?" He answered Harry's question indirectly.
Harry collapsed onto the table in relief, "Yeah, I knew, I was making Lunar Charts for fun." He tried to make up an excuse, "I'm more interested in how you found out?"
"Professor Voldemort told me. When Dumbledore decided to accept Lupin, many professors were against it, Professor Voldemort was the one most against the idea." Though so, Harry said to himself. "He didn't think it was safe and that they were playing with the students' safety, but Dumbledore was set on the idea."
Snape's confirmed Harry's guess. "So in order for you to give up, he told you this secret, which only professors knew."
Snape nodded, his face was becoming redder. "I was shocked at the beginning, really shocked. But it wasn't Lupin's fault that he became a werewolf; he was only a child, he couldn't protect himself, he was just a victim." Snape finished his Butterbeer.
Harry patted his shoulders in comfort, and went to the bar to get some soda. Snape may pass out right there if he had anymore drinks with alcohol in them.
"This was the problem I was referring to, I don't think it's a problem at all." Harry, now very used to the luxury goods offered to him by Voldemort, did not like the taste of this soda. "The main thing is what are you going to do? Continue with this secret crush, or take a chance and do something about it?"
Snape never liked soda water, after a sip, he frowned and pushed the glass aside. "I can't give up now, I'm falling to deep. Every time I think about becoming his enemy for real, the pain that comes with it was probably greater than Crucio. But doing something…I can't." Snape thought about it for awhile and shook his head.
Harry wasn't happy, "Why not? Lupin is a pure-blood, he's nice and smart. Just because he's a Gryffindor can't be Voldy's only opposing factor in this relationship."
Hearing this, Snape looked at him weirdly and smirked, "Sometimes you really are a Gryffindor, speaking without thinking first."
Seeing Harry's confusion, he explained, "You should know about the war between Professor Voldemort and Dumbledore, right? The war will breakout sooner or latter. If Lupin fell in love with me, what should he do then? What should I do then?"
Harry staggered. Yes, the war will breakout very soon. If Lupin also fell in love with Snape, then this relationship will become a foreseeable tragedy.
"Not to mention, Lupin will never fall in love with me. There's no mediation between us and the Marauders." Snape finished his soda, even though he hated the taste, "I'm going to get some mead."
Can't do this, can't do that, was he just going to continue this one-sided love affair? Harry thought. "You must be in a lot of pain right now."
"I was prepared a long time ago." Snape forced a smile, "I feel happy just by watching him. The only thing is, after every full moon, he always looked terrible and his body must be in terrible shape from the transformation. He always looked like he felt guilty for something. What if the Shrieking Shack couldn't prevent some idiot from entering, or what if he hurt someone before…he was always so kind, if something like that happened, I'm sure he would want to die because of that."
He felt guilty because he was hanging out with those three idiots the entire time! Harry said to himself. But thinking about the consequences of Lupin's transformation, Harry felt cold sweat coming down from his forehead. He never thought about this before. But now…although Lupin never said anything about hurting some one, but history had already been changed. Who knows what kind of trouble James and Sirius could bring?
Harry hated the James and Sirius in this time period, but Remus had always been a good person, the only downside was that he was always too lenient on his friends. If because of those two, Lupin did something, then Lupin would be the only one blamed by the public.
Maybe the Wolfsbane Potion could allow Lupin, when transformed, to stay more conscious, even if they were out wondering around.
Harry opened his mouth, picking out each word carefully, "Severus, if there's a type of potion – don't ask me how I knew about it – that would allow a werewolf to stay in control while they transformed, allowing them to sleep through the transformation. But the recipe is very complicated and very easy for a beginner to blow-up the cauldron. Do you want to try it?
Snape's eyes lit up really brightly.
"We can make it in the Room of Requirements – you never heard of it? I'll show you – I can ask Voldy to buy the ingredients for us – some of them are very rare – as for time, I think every Sunday is the best; that potion is too complicated, the maker needs to stay by the cauldron all the time."
Harry's suggestions were fully accepted by Snape. They finished their fifth glass of mead in a toast to a successful potion.
As Snape got up to get more drinks from the bar, the door opened and a couple of girls walked in, chatting happily. Lily was the center of attention as always, Harry also recognized Neville's mother, Alice.
Harry paused for a second and turned around, pretending not to notice. Snape's lecture on the war reminded him, even though Hogwarts may seem quiet and peaceful at this moment, but it was just the silence before the storm. He couldn't have any more contacts with Lily, that wouldn't bring any good to her or to him.
Harry's situation was even more complicated than Snape's. He was Voldemort's nephew, the only blood relative recognized by Voldemort. In the eyes of the public, he was the only heir to the childless Voldemort. Once war breaks out, he would right away become the number two enemy of the Order of the Phoenix, no, he might be already. When that happens, Lily, being his friend already, would be in a very difficult situation. Lily might even try to convince to him to leave Voldemort and fight for light.
Harry, knowing the future already, had no intention whatsoever to shed even more blood and sacrifice more lives to try to achieve something that was impossible. Reality had already proved to him, that the righteous lions would never be as cunning as the snakes, with the possibility of being eaten by the poisonous snakes.
Even with the blessing of Merlin and him not thinking right, he helped Dumbledore destroy Voldemort; yes, his friend Lily is happy, but what would happen to him, Heir of the Dark Lord Voldemort? Dumbledore may protect him for awhile, but not forever. Once Dumbledore dies, there's not doubt that he would be sent to Azkaban. People tend to forget kindness quickly and remember hatred for a long time. Compared to sharing saliva with the Dementors, Harry much rather die with Voldemort in battle. Of course, the chances of the Order of the Phoenix winning the war were very close to zero.
After thinking long and hard, Harry decided to stay away from Lily. Then once war breaks out, he wouldn't have to waste more brain cells to deal with Lily. With Harry staying on the dark side, it should be relatively easy for him to safely protect some people.
With a loud bang, the door opened, making a couple of people jump at the sound. James and Sirius walked in as if they owned the place, with Remus walking in with Peter behind them, softly shaking his head.
"Damnit!" Harry cursed at his luck.
James quickly scanned the room, first stopping at Lily, then focusing on Harry.
"Seems like the slave became the master. Snivellus, how does it feel to serve an idiot as master?" James sneered loudly.
"You should ask the person behind you to find out." Snape stared at him with hatred.
"Who are you calling a slave?!" Sirius always had a short temper.
Snape gave a fake laugh, "I didn't say it was you, Black, you claimed that title all by yourself."
"Stup –" Sirius was so frustrated, he took out his wand; but Remus quickly blocked him, "Stop it, Sirius, this is the Three Broomsticks, don't cause any trouble for Madam Rosmerta."
James, after Remus blocked Sirius, grabbed Sirius's wand and said, "Slytherins were always good with their mouth, but you know they can't fight. Otherwise, I really want to challenge the Prince of Slytherin to a duel."
Harry held on to the angry Snape. He never understood how the quick-tempered student Snape turned into the cold, cool-headed Potions Professor.
Standing up from his seat, Harry slowly walked towards James, and shook his index finger at James's self-satisfied smile. "You're wrong, James. We Slytherins are always the gentlemen, we know how to control our rashness. Unlike Gryffindors, who always looked so vigorous like they're going to explode any moment. If you're really that energetic all the time, I suggest you go explore the Shrieking Shack some time."
With that last sentence, the Gryffindor four's bodies all shook a little.
Harry sneered and lowered his voice, "A couple days per mouth, it gets really busy there with so many animals walking around." With this, all four's faces paled to a ghostly white. Harry got closer to James's ear, so only James could hear him, "How could there be a stag in Hogsmeade?"
James's face was deathly white with fear, his eyes were blank while he watched Harry and Snape leave, he couldn't say a thing.
When they walked out of the Three Broomsticks, Snape couldn't wait to ask, "What did you say to James Potter? He looked like he just lost his soul."
Harry just smiled. This was still a secret.
After that wonderful Hogsmeade weekend, Harry and Snape began to prepare for brewing the Wolfsbane Potion. First, Harry listed all the ingredients needed and gave it to Voldemort, who promised a very quick delivery. Then, he took Snape to the Room of Requirements. Third, he wrote out the recipe for the Wolfsbane Potion and had Snape memorize it. Each step of the potion required the brewer's full concentration, Snape won't have time to look at the recipe parchments when brewing it.
*****
Time quickly passed into December, with everyone getting into Christmas spirits. Everyone, you could hear people talking about where they were going for Christmas and what gifts they were getting that year.
Harry was becoming restless, he threw his quill on the table and looked up from his essay on the steps of the Hiccupping Solution. "Voldy, when can I get those ingredients I asked for?" He decided to stay at Hogwarts during Christmas with Snape and brew the first batch of the Wolfsbane Potion, how was he supposed to have fun without the ingredients?
Voldemort took the parchment from Harry's hands, after carefully reading what he wrote and satisfied with the answer, he put an O on the parchment. "You asked for a lot, it wasn't easy getting them that quickly. But don't worry, you'll have it tomorrow."
"Really?" Harry was happy and surprised at the same time. He jumped up from the chair, his face red with joy, making him look very cute at the moment.
Voldemort looked at this not very often seen pretty picture with a smile and nodded, "Of course, they promised."
Yes! Harry gave himself a high five in his mind. This way, he could go on to the next step on his plan.
"What kind of potion are you trying to make? The combination of ingredients seemed very odd." Voldemort was very curious. You could say he read a lot of books, but he never heard of the combination of ingredients that Harry asked for.
Harry was laughing on the inside with self-satisfaction. For once, there was something Voldemort didn't know. For the past month, he was so surprised that his mouth dropped open many times by the amount of knowledge Voldemort knew, it really hurt his self-confidence and self-respect. Now, a little bit of that lost confidence and respect were brought back. Right now, his nose was almost touching the ceiling with an arrogant smile on his face, "I'm not telling you."
Hearing this, Voldemort relaxed, it didn't seem like anything dangerous, he'll let Harry have his fun. "Be safe, if something goes wrong, be sure to call me over."
This tutoring session was supposed to end on this happy note, but Christmas was near.
"Harry, what plans do you have for Christmas?"
Harry didn't have to think about his answer, "I'm staying at Hogwarts with Severus."
The smile disappeared from Voldemort's face. He sat up straighter in surprise and anger, "You want to stay of Hogwarts?"
"Of course, I stayed at Hogwarts for the past four years, I don't want to go back to the orphanage." Harry said as if there was nothing wrong, but seeing Voldemort face, he realized what he just said and clapped his hand to his mouth, silently screaming. He forgot, he forgot, he forgot! He had nothing to do with the orphanage anymore, his guardian was the person in front of him.
"You don't need to go back to the orphanage." Voldemort felt defeated. It had been two months, but Harry still forgot sometimes.
"I need to stay at Hogwarts." Harry insisted.
"Christmas is family time, Harry, we're family, remember?" Voldemort tried to make his voice sound calm and soft.
Harry wasn't moved by this, "I think a bigger part is that you wanted to introduce me to those followers of yours that night, those Death Eaters."
Voldemort choked a little, "Of course, you're my only family."
"I don't think I have anything to talk about with your Death Eaters." Harry wasn't even looking at Voldemort. He was concentrating hard on his pronunciation of the Levitation Charm.
"Harry, I'm your guardian!" Voldemort's voice was starting to become hard.
Here it comes again! Harry lifted his head and sneered, "Most often, you like to remind me you're my guardian when you're forcing me to do something."
Voldemort didn't know what to say, didn't Harry know that everyone that talked back to him like that before all went to another world? "You're saying I'm not fitted to be your guardian?"
"I really appreciate everything you did for me, but I think I would appreciate it even more if you could be more considerate of what I want to do." Said Harry, with a little bit of a plea.
Voldemort closed his eyes, quickly thinking of another way to convince Harry. "Fine, Harry, let's both take a step back. You will spend Christmas with me. On Christmas Eve, you don't need to speak with any of my followers if you don't want to."
"I have something really important to do, so I'll go to Voldemort Manor on the 24th, on the 25th…" Harry stole a look at Voldemort's face, "26th, I'll come back to Hogwarts."
"It's a deal." Once he got Harry to his territory, he would have plenty of ways to make Harry stay. Voldemort let out a small, but evil smile.
*****
When Harry returned to his dorm room, he felt very ashamed of himself for leaving Snape all alone during Christmas at Hogwarts. They already decided that they were going to celebrate Christmas together, but now, he was going to spend Christmas with Voldemort. Harry was restless as he waited for Snape's anger.
Contrary to Harry's expectations, Snape was very happy and understanding. "You should spend Christmas with Professor Voldemort, he's the only family you have. Both of you had been alone for so long, you should spend more time together. Also, after you leave for Voldemort Manor on the 24th, don't come back on the 26th; come back to Hogwarts after the break is over."
"I can't do that." Harry objected right away, "The Wolfsbane Potion is too complicated, there are hundreds of steps, you need my help."
"At best, I can start on it tomorrow, I will have plenty of time to get used to it by the 24th. I'm not trying to boast or anything, Harry, but no matter how complicated a potion might be, I can memorize the steps after making it three times. Although the Wolfsbane Potion is much more complicated than anything I ever seen before, my skills in potions won't deteriorate overnight." Snape said with a lot of self confidence.
"But won't you get lonely after spending that long in the castle by yourself?" Harry was still worried.
"I had been alone for the past fourteen years." Snape stared at his shoes while he talked, "This year, I get to spend Christmas with my cauldrons and potions, I won't be alone anymore. Trust me."
Having nothing more to say, Harry agreed.
*****
Christmas arrived in a blur, a large potion of the students decided to go home. Lucius did invite Snape to spend Christmas at Malfoy Manor, but Snape declined.
At 5:00 pm on December 24th, Harry said good-bye to Snape and arrived at Voldemort Manor in the flying carriage sent by Voldemort. When he arrived, a couple hundred of House-Elves were at the gates welcoming Harry. They were all wearing the same pillowcase uniforms, all very clean with the Voldemort crest printed on them.
Voldemort, already knew that Harry would be very tired from the half hour of flying, gently forced Harry to eat some dinner, then commanded some House-Elves to draw up a bath for Harry and have him go to bed early.
After all, the main attraction was tomorrow night's Christmas Party.
On Christmas morning, Harry jumped out of his soft bed and said Merry Christmas to Hedwig, who was still not really used to her golden cage. He gave her some of her Christmas present – new flavoured owl treats – and began to unwrap his own Christmas presents.
He received a very small pile of gifts. Snape's present was three bottles of a molten gold potion, Harry opened one bottle and sniffed it. A deep memory was brought forth; that feeling of luck told Harry that these three bottles contained the Felix Felicis! Compared to Slughorn's prize, Snape's bottles were much bigger, there was enough for 24 hours. So three bottles meant three whole days!
His second gift, the writing belonged to Voldemort, but it was signed Nagini. A snake gave him a Christmas present? Harry felt really weird.
Nagini's present was a golden hair-clip with hundreds of tiny diamonds. Harry had to admit, as a snake, Nagini did have pretty good taste.
The last present was from Voldemort, a very thick tome, Top Defence Against the Dark Arts. Harry flipped through a couple of pages and immediately, he learned something new.
It seemed like he and Voldemort really think a like. Harry didn't know whether he should cry or laugh.
When Harry entered the dinning room, Nagini was happily coiled up on a white sheep skin rug. {Thank you for the present, Harry!} She sounded really happy. {This is my first present ever, Voldy never give me presents.}
Voldemort snorted quietly, {As a snake, your only goal in life should be having enough food to fill your stomach.} Then he waved the book he had in his hand, and smiled brightly. "Thank you for the gift, Harry." He didn't think Harry would give him a present.
That was the result of Harry and Snape's secret trip to Knockturn Ally, Newest Dark Curses.
"But you shouldn't go there, it's too dangerous. Knockturn Ally is not for underage wizards." Voldemort, even now, felt scared thinking about it. He really wanted to tie Harry to him all the time, so he won't be able to go anywhere that dangerous. Good thing Harry had Slytherin's Locket on him.
Harry shrugged his shoulders, not really caring. Did Voldemort really think he wanted to go there? If it wasn't for finding a present for Voldemort, he didn't even want to look at places like that.
After breakfast, which was many times more amazing than Hogwarts' breakfast, Voldemort suggested, "Do you want to open presents?"
"Presents?" Harry was confused, didn't he open all of his presents already?
Voldemort smiled, very pleased at Harry's confusion, "Follow me."
Harry and Nagini followed Voldemort out of the dinning room and stopped in front of a door. Voldemort gracefully opened the door and Harry felt his jaw drop at the sight inside the room.
Almost two times the size of the Great Hall at Hogwarts, the room was filled with presents from the floor to the ceiling. The presents were of varying colors, shapes, and sizes. There were three House-Elves busy taking turns to pile more boxes onto the mountain of presents.
"A little something from my followers. None of them are worth much, but good thing none of them are fake." Voldemort unwrapped a box as he talked, "If you like it, keep it, if not, throw them away."
A little something not worth much! Harry looked at the antique silver tea set in his hands with a wry smile. He remembered seeing the same set in Diagon Ally before, the price then was 2,100 Galleons. Of course, compared to that pair of 5,000 Galleons boots, this really wasn't worth that much.
In the end, Harry didn't open any of those presents, the House-Elves had the honour. There were gifts of all kinds, light magic, dark magic, Muggle things, some one even gave him a naked Veela. Harry was worried she might freeze to death.
But, he was still muddled, he didn't know what to do with a Veela. In the end, he gave the Veela to Voldemort, as for what Voldemort was going to do with the Veela, he didn't really care. The Veela was never seen again in Voldemort Manor. Some time later, when Harry remembered, Voldemort brushed over the fact that the Veela was sent to Malfoy Manor.
At 7:50 that night, all the preparations were finished. There were decorations and Christmas trees everywhere and the tables were covered with delicious food and different types of wine. At 8:00, the party started.
Other than at the beginning of the party, when Voldemort introduced him to his Death Eaters, Harry spent the rest of the time hiding in a quiet corner. Many young men and women were eagerly trying to get his attention, but were scared away by his cold glares. Just like Harry expected, he did not fit in well with these high society parties that were filled with hypocrites. If it wasn't the only party until the end of the Christmas break, Harry was sure he would return to Hogwarts the next day.
Compared to Harry not fitting in, Voldemort was completely different. He was like a fish in the water at this party. He was elegant, resplendent, and aristocratical; he was easily the most dazzling person in the entire room. Also, being a dark wizard, he hard a powerful magical aura that surrounded him. His cold appearance and forever darkness forced everyone to kneel at his feet. He was their ruler, he was their king.
It was very hard to imagine the Voldemort that was kind, gentle and always wanted to spoil Harry was the same person standing before the Death Eaters right now. The act he put on in the Slytherin common room was only minimal compared to right now.
Harry didn't know and didn't want to know which one was the real Voldemort; many people have different sides. Of course, the cold and dark side was more fitted to the always ready to kill Dark Lord. It was easier to manipulate people's feelings when you don't have feelings yourself. Only people with dark minds could think of plots that destroyed people's heart and mind barriers when they were least expecting them. Only this Voldemort could defeat the Order of the Phoenix.
If a weakness must be found within this person, it could be Harry. Harry couldn't understand why Voldemort was so good and kind to him. This kindness could not be explained by blood relations only.
At a time like this when war could break out any moment, how could Voldemort allow his only heir to go against him? To Voldemort, blood couldn't be more important than a victory. However, Voldemort expressed his consent in Harry choosing the Muggle Liaison Office. Because of this, Harry was very confused about the way Voldemort had been treating him. The way that Voldemort treats him with gentle and kindness that flow from the heart, was it a trap so he could use Harry in the future?
"…So I tied that Muggle woman onto a tree, and took off her clothes one by one until she was naked. I let her hang there until the next morning when some one found her. Ha ha ha…!" Two drunken Death Eaters found their way and tumbled into Harry's quiet corner. They were praising each other on the glorious moments of how they played and tortured Muggles. They were howling with laughter, until they suddenly raised their heads and stared right into Harry's cold and furious eyes.
"Ma…Master Harry! We…Muggle…No…" The two of them were so scared that they couldn't finish a proper sentence. Before they came to the party, they were already warned that the new Young Master liked Muggles, and that they shouldn't say anything he won't like in front of him.
Harry squeezed the wineglass in his hand, and said angrily while grinding his teeth, "I want silence."
"Huh?" It was very different than the punishment they were thinking about, the two Death Easters were at a loss.
"Harry meant get out of his sight right now!" The cold and enraged voice belonged to Voldemort. He was planning on chatting a little with Harry and then tell him to go to bed early, but was met with this scene.
"Yes, Almighty Master!" The two petrified Death Eaters ran with all their might to the other side of the room.