On the seventh day following a festival to celebrate the midwinter solstice - that in the future will be called Christmas - my true love gave to me…

"It's winter," said Arthur, annoyed, "winter! Who goes bathing in winter?"

"We do, apparently," noted Merlin jovially. He didn't particularly want to visit the hot springs either but was enjoying Arthur's quiet frustration.

They rode at the head of a considerable caravan, followed by Sir Peregrine, Sir Goshawk, the annoying Princess Chastity's three imaginatively-named brothers - Honour, Gallant and Chivalry - and their attendants armed with tents, furs, food, and mead. Arthur had asked the three French knights to join them but Merlin had said they had other plans.

"It'll be fine when we're in the water," said Merlin, "they are after all hot springs."

"In the water is fine, Merlin; it's getting to and from the water that I'm worried about."

"It's a mild day today," countered Merlin, "the mildest we've had this year."

"This year so far consists of only seven days, Merlin." Arthur was getting infuriated now.

"Well, that depends on what calendar you use, Sire, and whether you count the solstice as the beginning of the new year. Now, for the period preceding the Julian reforms..."

"Shut up, Merlin."

"Yes Sire. Did you know that in the Byzantine empire they count the 1 September as the start of the new year?"

"I'm going to get boring calendar facts for the next hour, aren't I Merlin?"

"Yes Sire."

"Lord, just kill me now."

It was an hour's ride to the springs normally, but their large retinue and the fact they were making the trip in midwinter had slowed them somewhat and it was nearing midday by the time they reached the bank of the steaming waters.

As unenthused as they'd both been by the plan, both Merlin and Arthur had to admit that the warm water looked very inviting on a cold winter's day. Without much ado, all seven men stripped off and leapt into the waters as their attendants set about making a camp and preparing their lunch.

Arthur splashed Merlin and instantly regretted it as the slim man disappeared below the waters. Arthur could swim in a rudimentary way but Merlin's lithe body cut through the waters as though he was some sort of sea creature. Arthur lost track of him below the mist that formed on the waters and then cried out as he was tugged from below and dragged under the surface.

He rose spluttering to a laughing Merlin and plotted his revenge as the five other noblemen laughed as well.

A shout went up from their retinue and the royal swimmers craned their head to see what was happening. One of their servants ran over to the bank and waved to get the Prince's attention.

"Sire, the women's party have caught up with us and are very annoyed that we are already here."

"The women's party," exclaimed Arthur, "what women's party?"

"The Lady Morgana says she thought of this first and you stole her idea. She says she planned to come out here today and that the men should do the chivalrous thing and make way."

"Well, they can join us if they want to," said Goshawk with a leer, much to Gallant and Chivalry's disapproval. Sir Peregrine even threw a censorious look his way, and he was used to Goshawk's lewdness.

"You can tell the Lady Morgana that she should try a different spot for her picnic today," said Arthur. "We are already bathing and we are staying where we are. And Merlin, if you even try to argue Morgana's case I will put you in the stocks and hand out the potatoes myself."

"Wouldn't dream of it, Sire," said Merlin, quickly.

"Guinevere, the Lady Morgana's maid, suspected that may be your answer. She asked if that is really the Knightly thing to do."

Arthur paused briefly. He looked back to see a knowing expression of amusement on Merlin's face. Definitely the stocks.

"Fine," he said, "we will do the Knightly thing and remove ourselves. Tell the women to please wait a suitable distance away and we will tell them when we are decent."

The other men nodded; Merlin looking amused, Goshawk looking disappointed and Peregrine and the three princes looking approving.

They had just exited the water and walked to their piles of clothing when a loud scream rent the air. It was obviously Guinevere.

Without stopping to think, Arthur and Merlin grabbed two swords and raced through the bushes toward the scream. They burst into the clearing where the ladies stood, swords brandished and asked the frightened women what was wrong.

"We're fine," said Morgana, "the Princess Chastity thought she saw something and instantly assumed it was a bandit come to ravish her. I'm afraid her fear infected Guinevere who screamed."

She looked with some contempt at Chastity, who was passed out cold on the ground. "It was a flock of birds."

She looked back around and suddenly stopped and stared, mostly at Merlin while trying to pretend she wasn't looking mostly at Merlin. Guinevere was fixated on Arthur, her eyes careening wildly and then being drawn back in.

"Erm, your highness," said the Lady Elaina. She was a married woman with a child and things like this did not phase her, "you and your servant appeared to be unclothed."

"Merlin, you're naked," managed Morgana.

Arthur and Merlin looked down and then looked at each other and then looked down again. Then they looked at the group of women, all in various stages of amusement, curiosity or embarrassment.

"Um," they said together, "we'll be going now."

And as they strode off back toward the hot springs, the women could have sworn they heard Arthur yelling, "it's winter, alright. Winter. It's cold. Exposed before half the women in the Kingdom and it's bloody winter!"

And quietly, and without saying anything out loud, half the women's party decided that next time they had this plan they would sneak up on the bathing men more quietly. Even if it was winter.