I SCRY WITH MY LITTLE EYES

Disclaimer: This particular plotline belongs to my imagination, the characters and some of the ideas belong solely to Stephanie Meyer though - Sucks.

CHAPTER 6:

Edward POV

My undead heart broke inside my chest and tears I could never shed sprang to my eyes as a sob tore through the air, and I choked out one word, "Why?"

Her face stilled for a moment as if contemplating her answer, but then she replied; her face expressionless and her voice calm, "I never intended to do it when I first started; it was simply a cut here and then a cut there, so that I could make it through the day. But it got out of hand, I guess. Soon I was cutting every day, every night, whenever I could find the time really. At first the pain I inflicted just took away the agony of feeling your betrayal and your lies, but eventually… I can't really explain it. It was a high like none other; sweet, pure pleasure in the messed-up life I was leading. Eventually, it just wasn't enough anymore; I needed so much more. So I took one of Charlie's knives to the meadow just before twilight. And I slit my throat."

I watched in complete and utter horror as the love of my life calmly told me about her suicide, a twisted smile gracing her full red lips. I went to stop the horror spilling from her mouth but she continued; an almost wistful smile on her face.

"Funny how I used to be sick at the sight of blood isn't it? I remember vaguely all that crimson blood; I remember knowing that I would finally get relief, that I would reach the ultimate high. I would finally disappear from this world, feeling nothing but utter satisfaction. But then this idiot and his fucking followers just had to come along on that particular night, and just decide to change me, thus damning me here on earth and to undead life - Bastards."

I couldn't stand here anymore, knowing that she regretted whole-heartedly being a vampire. For being here now, where we had the chance to be together again, and all she wanted was death. "You promised you would stay safe. YOU PROMISED ME, BELLA."

"You promised to always love me; it seems we both suck at keeping our promises."

Ouch, well that hurt.

"I do love you, Bella, I will always love you."

"That's as true as me saying death has me shaking in my boots."

"You can't want to be dead, Bella, I love you and my family loves you."

"Really, Edward did you not hear me at all lately. I do not fear death, I want death; I have an unquenchable thirst for death. So unless you have a box of matches or a lighter handy, really I want nothing from you."

Sobs tore through me as agony and rejection washed over me. She didn't want me? She hated me? She wanted death over me?

"How can you be like this? Where has Bella gone?"

She stalked over to me, until she was only inches away; but still not within my reach. She was beautiful, stunning, amazing and wanted to have nothing to do with me. The light finally shone directly onto her body, and I let out a silent cry as her flesh was fully exposed. I saw her through new eyes; this wasn't just some bitchy chick called Ghost that had a scar collection that rivaled Jaspers', this was Bella. And with that in mind, I saw anew every pearly scar, every crescent-shaped bite that marked her creamy white skin. She looked like she had been through the newborn wars for centuries, not at all like a young vampire.

"Bella is still here, Edward, but she grew up the second she chose to take her own life with her own hands and leave her fragile mortal body behind. She grew up and discovered that the world isn't full of fairytales, and that the nightmares that resided in her most terrifying dreams were real and that the world is a cruel bitter place. I grew up, and I left the naïve, trusting, idiotic shell that you once knew behind. She was a child that knew of nothing, and I am the woman that was left behind. I know and have experienced all the horrors and terrors this world can and will inflict on its victims. I am still Bella; I just opened my eyes to the truth."

Sheer agony and torment crashed through me, and then before I could even think of a response; Jasper was lying on the marble floor, thrashing and screaming in pain. Guilt washed over me, as I saw the effects my emotions were having on my own brother. "I'm so sorry, Jazz, I can't help it."

His eyes met mine for a second as if he was searching for something, but then he shook his head and whispered against the pain pulsing through him to the point that his body looked like it was being tortured by Jane, "It's not you."

Every single person in the room was shell-shocked, barring Aro and Isabella, and just stared at Jasper's writhing form as one word rent the air in two, "WHAT?!!"

Screaming again in agony, he bucked against the floor where Alice had slid to the ground to cradle her husband in her arms; terror in her eyes as she watched him helplessly. Miraculously, even over his air splitting screams, we all heard Alice's frightened voice, "What is it, Jazz? What's wrong? Please be okay! Who is doing this? Please be okay!!"

Jasper finally opened his tightly clenched eyes, which were currently glazed over in agony, and whimpered out; "It's Bella."

I looked up in confusion at the calm, motionless woman before me, then back at Jasper who was screaming as if he was being tortured, then at Bella again. Looking deep into her emotionless eyes, I whispered brokenly, "How…?"

A sad smile graced her lips before she walked up to Aro's throne with a determined glint in her scarlet eyes, "I told you before, Edward. I like pain."

And just like that, Jasper's screaming stopped like not a thing was wrong in the world.