A/N: Grr! Fanfiction is broken and not sending out updates when I post new chapters. What the heck fanfiction?!

I remember a conversation I had with Jay about reincarnation. I didn't really have a reason for bringing up the subject. Boredom. Curiosity. Whatever. Given time and the endless stream of subject matter to grasp from, any conversation topic was inevitable.

Jay didn't believe in reincarnation. In fact, he was as secular as any person could be. Funny, given my situation as a reincarnated human being. What did it mean for me to be reincarnated? I wasn't sure. I didn't really know anything about it. How did it happen? Why? Did it mean that Buddhism was the true religion? I wasn't sure (and I doubted the latter.) Obviously not every baby came out knowing how to drive or do multivariable calculus, but how did I know I was unique? It wasn't like I could read people's minds. Neither could Jay. How could he know that I wasn't someone else before I was born as Mary Oldsman?

Jay had been nonplussed at my conviction when I'd told him. He was absolutely certain reincarnation was a religious sham. It was funny and a little bit reassuring to watch him try to prove to me that I wasn't a reincarnation of someone else. I didn't want to be found out, and given Jae Song's sheer cliff-face of cynicism against all things occult, I was pretty safe in that regard. I'd even picked April 1st as the day to confront him about it just to be sure. My confession had immediately been taken as a joke that he'd played along with. I'd loved it.

The contrast between Jay and the man sitting before me were stark. Yagami Light would probably believe me if I were to propose reincarnation. Given his own dabbling in the supernatural, he would probably be more willing to believe. I didn't know how much he knew about me nor did I know what he wanted. From what I knew of the timeline of this universe, Yagami Light supplants L, becomes L, after the death of the real L. I wasn't sure what kind of the software or databases L had had access to, but I was almost certain it was enough to find out everything about me given either my name or a picture of my face. It was why I'd deleted all my contacts and social media accounts. As long as all of my data was wiped from the social media companies' private databases as they were supposed to be, I was safe.

There were no grounds for him to consider me dishonest. I was born in Japan, and I'd traveled out of the country to find opportunity. I'd gotten the experience I'd wanted, and I'd decided that I wanted to come home. I had given my true name. I wasn't hiding anything; I was innocent.

So why did I feel so nervous talking to him? There was something about Yagami Light that was disconcerting. Something about the way he talked to me so casually made me feel tense.

"I wish I could convey my gratitude to you and the organization you represent for the service you are providing to my family. To my sister." He had a knife in his hand and he was peeling an apple and setting the peels onto the plate that sat on the glass coffee table between us.

There was something about the apple that was making my head spin. Something important.

"Yes." I responded and rested my hand on Sayu's wrist. "I hope what I find will help others like her."

Light began cutting small slices of apple from the perfectly peeled fruit. What he held wasn't an apple. It was an impossibly perfect sphere of white flesh. I couldn't help but gap. Is this man even human?!

Twirling the perfect apple-sphere in his hand, Light hummed and began to cut slices from it, depositing them on top of the apple's skin.

Light's Death God liked apples.

I stared at the apples as the revelation hit me. I'd almost forgotten about the Death God. What was its name again? I couldn't remember.

"Here." Light pushed the plate forward, offering me the apples. "Please take one."

"I-" The denial died in my throat. I reached forward to take an apple slice. "Thank you."

I looked at the digital clock sitting on the mantle behind Light and noted that it was 4:32 P.M. Yagami Sachi was in the kitchen preparing dinner. I'd been sitting with Sayu in the living room for almost ten minutes, and Light hadn't asked me a single question. Hadn't he mentioned that he had questions? I took an experimental bite out of the apple; it was very sweet.

"So, what do you do exactly?" I ventured after a long moment of silence during which I consumed the apple piece.

Light watched me. (WatchLight. An apt name for a surveillance system.) He looked relaxed. Amused, even. He uncrossed and recrossed his legs and flashed me a perfect smile that made my heart do a triple flip. My stomach immediately shrivelled in horror. Traitor.

"I'm a detective."

I heard a clang in the kitchen: the sound of a pot cover hitting some surface.

"I didn't know that detectives worked so much. From what I hear from your mother, you only come home a few times a year. Are your work hours so bad that you can't help take care of your sister?"

It was here that I notice a small movement, and I glanced quickly to my side. Yagami Sayu's eyes were focused on a single point. I look up at Light. He had to have noticed. The way Sayu stares at him was actually kind of scary.

The tone of his voice dropped slightly, giving me the impression of regret. "I'm the head of one of the top investigation teams in the nation. We receive hundreds of cases from all over the world every day. Every minute I'm not working is another minute that some nameless, faceless perpetrator of crime runs loose in the world. It is unfortunate, but the nature of my work leaves me no other option."

"No other option? I don't believe that." I looked at Sayu and noticed that her eyes had become glassy again. I felt like I should apologize for the implicit accusation I'd just made. I hated the feeling. I hated this. I was not going to apologize to this evil, conceited monster. "What I do know is that your sister has strong feelings for you, stronger than what I've seen of her so far. I know you're not blind to the way her attention falls on you when you're in her vicinity! You should be here, with her. You should be-"

"Ms. Oldsman." Light interrupted, the smile that he'd worn earlier completely dissipated. "Do not presume to know me or my family."

D-did he just interrupt me?!

"I…" I wither under the man's gaze. "I'm sorry. I-"

I clenched my fists and felt tears threaten to well up in my eyes. My face felt hot as blood surged up my neck. I was furious. At myself. At Light. It was a wonder I could even smile. What a two-faced liar I'd become. "I am aware that you are busy, Yagami Light, but I hope you can consider staying for even just a few days to help with your sister's recovery. I believe your cooperation will be key to helping your sister recover a sound state of mind."

Despite the padding of words, the apology still burned in my mouth. My face felt hot and red. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. If I did, everything would be lost. Instead, I settle my eyes on Sayu. The girl had gone limp as a corpse and was no longer focusing her sights on anything.

Light set the knife down, and I couldn't help but make special note of it from my periphery, even as I watched Sayu act like a vegetable. "That is asking much, Ms. Oldsman. I can give you one week at best, and even that would be stretching it. If you could prove the effectiveness of your methods. I also hope you don't mind me questioning your professional background. I heard you went to school outside of Japan. Could you tell me more about that? Why did you leave the country?"

Here came the questions. I steeled myself and looked up to meet Light's eyes briefly. Then closing my eyes, I redirected my gaze elsewhere to make it look as if I were lost in thought. "I wanted to see more of the world, more than just Japan. I felt restricted here. I felt stuck, like I didn't really belong. The people here were just not suited to me. The tradition here and the environment… it was suffocating. It didn't help that I didn't look like a native Japanese girl. I was always the foreigner, and you know what the culture is like. School… was not fun. I didn't like Japan, so I went out so I could seek my fortune, to forge my own path."

"I see…"

"Do you really?" I glanced up briefly. Light's eyes were very brown. I could definitely see how a certain light could give it a tone of red; the eyes of an evil man. "I founded my own company while I was there. We engaged in many explorative ventures and projects."

"Hm. A startup. How many people did you have employed?"

"Oh. Just me and my-" I clammed up. I could feel my blood begin to boil as the unspoken word was spoken in my head. "Me and one other."

"I see, and what ventures has your company engaged in exactly? My sister here is the subject of some kind of psychological study no? What credentials do you have in this area?"

"Ah." I blinked as I scrambled for the answers that I had half-prepared for this question. "Not much actually. I have a PhD in linguistics and minors in both mathematics and software engineering which I attained with the help of several full scholarships and grants. I assure you I am a well qualified individual, and I've been studying neurology and human behavior for a time now. A hobby of mine. The organization I represent, JapanNeuro, finds your sister's case interesting so they sent me. Clearly they think I'm qualified for the job."

I could tell Light wanted to pry some more, but he pauses a moment, offering me only a single "Interesting." before lapsing into silent thought.

Speaking about myself calmed me, distracted me. I couldn't discern what Light was thinking, and I was afraid to make any sudden move. Light was probably stronger than I was. Faster.. The knife was on the table. Me picking it up didn't mean I would be able to kill him. I needed control. I squeezed Sayu's hands lightly. The girl was as responsive as a sack of potatoes.

"Why did you come back? Did you not find the outside world satisfying?"

"I did."

"And now you're back here, in your home country. Why the sudden shift?"

"Why?" I repeated. I observed Light's profile for a moment. If I didn't know any better, I think I would've started crushing on him. The more I talked to him, the worse the feeling became. I hated myself. Eight months of planning and work to get to this point, and here I was being a stupid, shallow bitch. I didn't think it'd be like this. A visceral part of me didn't want to do it. It was such a waste. I would be destroying what was left of the Yagami family. I would be taking away Yagami Sachi's remaining source of pride and happiness along with what was probably Yagami Sayu's only chance of recovery.

"What made you come back?"

But it was nothing compared to the lives that Yagami Light had taken and will continue to take if I didn't do what I needed to. What did this man know about me? How much did he know?

"Ms. Oldsman?"

"What made me come back?" I repeated, suppressing a laugh. If only you knew. Or maybe he already did. Who knows? "I lost something I held dear to me. Someone I loved more than all that I had achieved in this life. There were too many memories. Our apartment. Our room. Our sh-shoes. O-our f-friends." My voice cracked and my vision became a wet blur. "Every street, every time I hear people speak... Kira killed him. Kira decided that he deserved to die because of an article he wrote. One article!

"Why?!" I glared up at Jay's murderer. I was accusing him. I didn't care. I couldn't stop myself. I needed to know "Why was he killed?! I didn't understand. Just because he didn't completely support Kira?! That's a disgusting reason to kill a man! Jae Song was not a criminal! He was a good person!"

I couldn't see anymore and buried my face in my hands. Crap. I wasn't supposed to burst out like that. Where was my control? What the hell is wrong with me? I fought my emotions. Eight months. You'd think the anger, the hurt, would have dulled by now. There were nights when I sometimes forgot my purpose, when I could say Jay's name and not feel a thing. Why did I have to lose myself now? godfuckingdamnit! I was supposed to be in control. Control yourself Mary!

I sniffed and grasped blindly for the tissue box that was on the table. I wiped away the shameful display of waterworks on my face. When I was done, I saw that Light's countenance had changed. He looked… I didn't know how he looked. "Why?" I whispered.

"I'm sorry for your loss." Light replied, every move he made and every word he uttered giving off an impression of care and concern. "It seems certain traumatic events still linger in your memories. I didn't mean to help them resurface. I'm sorry."

"Kira kills more innocent men and women than all existing criminals put together. What is the point of doing that? Why can't Kira be happy with ending all wars and the majority of crime? I used to think Kira was good. I still do, but the number of innocent people he kills is staggering. He's worse than any serial killer in history. Justice. What a joke."

I was speaking too much. Even if he didn't know beforehand, he had to know now. An easy, educated guess, a possibility that he would entertain regardless of how unlikely it could be.

"Ms. Oldsman. Please calm down."

I bit my bottom lip and turned away. "I just wanted to be happy..."

"I apologize for prying. Let us speak on another subject."

I shook my head and smiled wanly. "The fault is mine for the sudden outburst." I took another tissue and stood to my feet. "I have some documents I would like you to peruse to help verify the authenticity of my- of my professional involvement in your sister's case. They are the same papers that I had your mother sign. I hope you will find added reason to extend your stay in those papers, Mr. Yagami."

Light's somber expression lit into a smile to match my own. "I hope the same, Ms. Oldsman."

I gave the siblings each one last look. Light's eyes were fixated on me. His fingers were interlaced and covering his mouth. Sayu, on the other hand, was as good as dead. I performed a small bow of Japanese courtesy. "Then, if you will excuse me, I will be back shortly." I said before stalking out of the living room.

I went up the staircase toward my room. Sayu's room. The room where I kept my briefcase. I thought back to Light's personal effects. Did he have a bag of any kind? I didn't recall seeing one. Maybe it was in his car. I was pretty sure Light carried either his entire Death Note or some piece of it with him everywhere he went. Not that I really needed either. Just plain curiosity is all.

I'd heard no sounds following me up the stairs, but just to make sure, I go the bathroom with my briefcase and shut the door. I locked it with a click and released the breath I realized that I had been holding.

Remember your purpose. Remember Jay.

I reach into the case to make sure things were where they were supposed to be. Folder of documents. Pen. Medicine. 30% concentration pepper spray. Kitchen knife

Check, check and check. I took a deep breath, flushed the toilet, and turned on the tap to wash my hand, all sounds I needed to make to avoid suspicion. I propped open the door. Everything ready. I was ready.

Light was sitting exactly where I'd left him when I got back to the living room. Sayu was staring at him again.

Creepy

I sat across from him once more, and reached into my bag to withdraw both the folder and my pen. "Here. Take a look." I reach across and half-drop, half-toss the folder and pen onto his lap. The distance between us was small. It would be almost impossible for the pepper spray to miss. My plan was secure. I'd tested the spray on myself to make sure that it worked. I had been on the floor for 40 minutes, regretting my life choices. Regretting everything.

The spray was a go. All I had to do after that was draw the knife and gut the pig, and I was done. It would have been easier if I'd had a gun, but a gun was impossible to carry in Japan.

Light picked up the folder carefully, his eyes lingered a fraction of a second on the briefcase sitting in my lap. Was I suspicious? Hell if I knew. With another moment's hesitation, Light began to read the contents of the paper. His eyes scanned the page quickly, and I knew that he was reading at the rate of almost a line a second. "I don't think-"

He started to speak before receiving a full blast of human repellent to his flawless face.